A tale told and retold many times. Naruto Uzumaki, twelve year old orphan of Konohagakure no Sato, wanting to be a ninja but failing the graduation exam. A boy fooled by Mizuki, his own sensei who turned traitor, into stealing the Fuin no Sho with the promise that learning a ninjutsu from the scroll was a secret graduation test without being warned that the ninjutsu within were in fact mostly kinjutsu.
Naruto frowned down at the first ninjutsu he saw, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. Bunshin was his worst, the reason he'd failed, and while the idea of learning a Kage version of the jutsu appealed to the boy who aspired to be Hokage he wasn't sure if he should waste his time with it when there were surely other more interesting jutsu.
So the academy student scanned the next jutsu and frowned when that seemed even more impossibly complicated. Naruto kept reading, desperate to find a jutsu he would be able to perform but each one seemed beyond his grasp and few even mentioned hand seals.
Finally he found it, a jutsu that used hand seals and blood sacrifice. The blood sacrifice weirded him out and he skimmed over the warning about contracts but it looked like something he could at least try.
Pulling out a kunai and cutting his right palm with a wince, the young blonde began weaving the hand seals with determination as he did his best to focus his chakra. On the last seal he slapped the ground with his bloody hand and grinned as he felt the chakra build up.
Then Naruto Uzumaki was gone, leaving the Fuin no Sho and a bloody kunai lying in the dirt as the only evidence he was there to the naked eye.
The young wannabe ninja wasn't sure where he was, his right hand dripped blood onto the white marble beneath him. He frowned in confusion and looked around, it was dark but he could hear things slithering and chattering just beyond his field of view.
The sounds and deft movements in the corners of his vision had young Naruto sweating, wondering about the warning that he probably should have paid more attention to. Before he could regret his actions further his eyes came upon a marble throne and all doubts left his mind at what he saw beyond.
The young blonde looked up and something looked down, not a face for a face was a thing of angles and limits which this had neither. It stretched as far as his eyes could see, as if it were one with the whole of the sky and the firmament above. Things that might have been eyes, or distant moons or vast constellations of stars, looked down at him, and a gash in the atmosphere twisted like a lover's smile. It studied him from an impossible distance, and he felt the sharp edge of its gaze cut through him, layer by layer. There was pain, in that gaze, and pleasure as well. Agony and ecstasy, inextricable and inseparable.
"A mortal child in my realm?" The beautiful cosmic entity asked and Naruto felt his heart skip a beat at the tone of her voice coming from all around him as he sank to his knees, "Interesting, your soul is already mine from gazing upon my divine form, yet something is odd about you." they spoke again and the young boy already wanted to hear more, uncaring of how impossibly sharp the teeth behind the lips seemed or how more than one tongue seemed to rest behind those teeth.
"Who are you?" Naruto managed to ask breathlessly, vaguely aware of the sudden silence from the shadows at his words. He didn't get what the impossibly beautiful cosmic being said about souls or divinity but if they claimed to be a god he'd believe it.
The deity quirked a delicate eyebrow as she smirked at the young boy, "How interesting that you've kept this much of your mind intact, there really is something special about you." the voice spoke again in dulcet tones and Naruto felt like he might die of pleasure just from being praised as such by the entity before him, "I am Lord of Pleasure, Prince of Delight, She Who Thirsts," he said, his words honey on the soul and ears of the listening blonde boy, "I am man and woman both and neither, all beauty am I and Desire is my name." she added, "Call me Slaanesh, sweet child of mine."
"Slaanesh-kaasama..." Naruto breathed, in love with the being before him already, if he had the mind for introspection he'd consider it love at first sight. The entity seemed amused by his choice of honorific as she viewed his world through his eyes for a moment, amused to find no trace of the other three there.
Slaanesh grinned widely, "Yes, you will do nicely. Set aside your Wrath and Despair," she ordered, reaching out to alter the odd magic holding an interestingly powerful being within him, finding the eight prongs of it distasteful and ripping into it painfully with a thought, "and release the empty promises of Change, for I am the Joy of Now and the Vindication of Life." he intoned as Naruto felt a burning within his core.
Naruto gasped and clutched his stomach but refused to tear his eyes away, enraptured by the entity and their words, "It hurts!" he complained, whimpering as tears sprung to his eyes yet he didn't want to blink. Something wiped his eyes for him and the boy got the impression of something sinuous and fleshy but still wouldn't look away from his new god.
"Take the pain as a blessing, Naruto-chan." Slaanesh spoke and if the boy realized he hadn't given his name he didn't show it, "I will love you as no other has or ever will, and you shall love Me in turn." she demanded, "Sign this contract in blood, and be bound to Me for eternity." he ordered firmly.
Naruto didn't even hesitate or wonder where the contract had come from, he signed it hastily with the blood dripping down his right hand. The symbols for his name glowed pink before returning to the dull red of drying blood, the young boy swiftly turning his gaze back up to look for approval in the visage that still yet hurt to look upon.
"Very good." Slaanesh praised with more gentle tones and the mortal boy felt his heart soar, "You shall be the instrument of My will in your world, My champion, My lover, and My preacher. You will sing My praises and all I ask in return is that you follow your whims in turn. In My name pursue your arts and enshrine all you find Beautiful. Follow your every Desire, sate your every hunger, and deny yourself no adventure. For it is in these things that you shall find the greatest Pleasure, and it is through these things that you will bring glory to My name, that you shall raise yourself high to the very steps of My Throne."
Naruto didn't fully understand but knew the perfect being was leading up to sending him home, away from the amazing beauty of his new god and he started to cry openly.
"I told you already to cast aside Despair, child." Slaanesh admonished and the tears halted, "Through this contract My chakra shall be as your chakra, you will be My mortal champion and My immortal servants shall heed your Kuchiyose no Jutsu." she informed him in a calming tone, "Now return home and become Perfection." he ordered and with a flex of her mere will Naruto was gone.
Iruka was worried, the chunin had been informed that one of his students, Naruto Uzumaki, had stolen the Fuin no Sho and had fled. What the man with the scar on his face found worried him, the Fuin no Sho was open and a bloody kunai lay on the ground next to it.
He worried that something awful had happened but was forced to dodge a hail of shuriken, only to be confused as to their source, "Mizuki?" he asked, confused.
"So you found him first did you?" Mizuki asked with a cruel smirk, "I must admit you're colder than I expected, I didn't even know you had the power to destroy a body so completely but you must have hated that brat even more than I expected." he mused.
Iruki frowned, "I didn't kill Naruto, I only just got here." he answered, confused by the actions of his fellow chunin but getting the sense something was wrong.
"Really? He must have killed himself then." Mizuki mused as he pulled a fuma shuriken from his back, "Well I was hoping you'd wasted chakra taking him out but no matter, I'll just kill you here and run off with the-" he spoke as he started spinning the large throwing weapon only to halt as the subject of their discussion appeared in a puff of smoke.
Naruto was still dressed in his orange tracksuit, his goggles on his forehead holding his spiky blonde hair out of his eyes and his right hand stained with drying blood from a wound that had already closed. Iruka and Mizuki both noticed something off with the boy though, he had a dreamy expression and his eyes were a light shade of purple.
The young blonde noticed the two chunin but not the animosity between them, "Ah! Sensei I did it!" he said in an excited tone as his expression became a wide grin that crinkled his eyes at their corners so he squinted, "I learned a jutsu! It was amazing!" he declared happily, "She was so beautiful I though I might die!" he added dreamily and Mizuki frowned in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" Iruka asked as he slowly put the pieces together in his mind.
"Mizuki-sensei said if I took this," Naruto began as he gestured towards the Fuin no Sho dismissively, "and managed to learn a ninjutsu from it I'd have enough extra credit to become a genin y'know." he answered, still grinning happily, "Oh right I have to show you guys right?" he asked, reaching for his bloody kunai.
Mizuki frowned and threw his fuma shuriken at the blonde, not wanting to take any chances with the oddly delirious blonde. Iruka noticed and dove on top of his student, shielding the young boy from the attack with his body.
"Naruto, take the Fuin no Sho and get back to the village!" Iruka ordered, wincing from the pain of the large blade that had torn through his flak vest to embed in his back.
Naruto surprised Iruka by hugging the man suddenly, "I don't get what's going on but you protected me just now, right sensei?" he asked rhetorically as the chunin became uncomfortable with the strange attitude of the young boy, "You're so beautiful like this, so I should enshrine you, right?" the blonde boy asked the increasingly uncomfortable sensei.
Mizuki frowned, "Seems like the demon snapped." he mused, "Do you know why the village despises you Naruto?" he asked the boy who stood up with his kunai to stand between the two chunin with a dreamy smile on his face, "Can you even comprehend what I'm telling you?" he asked.
Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I'm not stupid, if anything everything is so much more clear to me now y'know." he said cheerfully.
Mizuki was uncomfortable with the clearly unhinged boy and wondered what jutsu the boy had actually performed, "Twelve years ago, the Yondaime Hokage couldn't kill the Kyubi no Yoko, so he sealed the demon into your form." he informed, "You are the kitsune incarnated!" he accused.
Naruto laughed in response, unnerving the two chunin with the odd response, "Me? The Kyubi?" the boy asked, "That kitsune is supposed to be a being of hate and rage right?" he added and Mizuki nodded, "Then I can't be the Yoko, I've already cast aside my Wrath and Despair. Now I only feel Joy!" he declared, slicing his right hand open again as he sloppily tossed the kunai towards the traitor chunin and started hand seals.
Mizuki stared in shock, recognizing a Kuchiyose no Jutsu even if he didn't have a contract for himself. The man wondered just what kind of thing the demon brat had signed a contract with, he didn't even need to dodge the kunai that had gone off course but he grabbed it out of the air to use against the boy anyway as he charged.
The smoke from Naruto's jutsu cleared and something serpentine coiled around him, for a moment the chunin thought it was a snake but it had scant few opalescent scales and a pastel pink mane of hair. The creature had the face of an aardvark with onyx black eyes and mammary glands. Mizuki was confused by the strange creature and moved to stab it but was halted by the sound of something sharp stabbing through the air.
It took the chunin a moment to realize he'd been stopped dead in his tracks by the tongue of the summoned creature stabbing through his chest. Mizuki was aware enough to recognize he'd been stabbed in the heart before the tongue retracted as Naruto grinned at his falling form, the man wondered again what had happened before he couldn't wonder anything as the oxygen to his brain halted.
Naruto turned to Iruka, still smiling widely, "I guess Mizuki-sensei tricked me?" he asked, his demeanor unnerving the surviving chunin, "Does this mean I don't get to be a genin? Don't worry sensei I'll try harder next time!" he declared and the man shivered.
Iruka would need to talk to the Hokage about this.
Hiruzen Sarutobi was gravely concerned by what had happened, Naruto was even happier than ever despite killing the traitor Mizuki and no one could identify what the boy had signed a contract with. The boy even seemed unbothered to learn that he contained the Kyubi no Yoko within his body and chakra, and most concerning of all whatever he'd signed his contract with had altered the Hakke no Fuin Shiki.
Iruka had given his report to the Sandaime Hokage and the old man wondered what he should do, it was dangerous for a Yamanaka to check in on the brain of a Jinchuriki under normal circumstances but the Fuin containing the Kyubi no Yoko wasn't even recognizable. The best they could figure was that more demonic chakra than ever flowed through the young Jinchuriki but he seemed fine.
"Naruto-kun," Hiruzen began in a grandfatherly tone, "what exactly did you sign a contract with?" he asked, determining that the only way to get to the bottom of this was to ask the boy directly.
The purple eyed blonde didn't seem even slightly worried, he surprisingly wasn't under genjutsu but that didn't stop more mundane brainwashing or hypnosis from affecting him, "Slaanesh-kaasama!" Naruto declared happily, "She is Yorokobi-sama and Yokubo-hime!" he stated the titles, "I am Her champion now, so can I be a genin? I promise to work hard and perfect my jutsu better from now on." he swore.
Hiruzen frowned at the respectful and feminine honorific interchanging with the masculine titles, the old man wasn't sure what to make of this, "First, tell me more about this Yorokobi-sama." he requested since he didn't recognize the title. He wasn't even sure if he could pronounce the first name Naruto had uttered.
"Slaanesh-kaasama is beautiful!" Naruto declared joyfully, "So nice and kind, all He asked is that I set aside Wrath and Despair, set aside promises of Change, work on Perfecting my arts, and enshrine anything I find Beautiful!" the boy answered and the odd blend of pronouns towards the Prince of Delight confused the Hokage further.
Despite his concern and confusion Hiruzen could not rightfully find anything innately malicious about such things, although they sounded like the tenants of a strange cult they weren't the tenants of any cult he'd ever heard of, "I see." he said simply as he pondered on what to do from here, "What would you do if I allow you to become a genin of Konoha?" he asked, watching the young blonde carefully.
"I like training, so I'd train hard to perfect myself and become the greatest Hokage ever!" Naruto declared, "I'll bring glory to Slaanesh-kaasama by becoming the perfect shinobi y'know!" he exclaimed in an excited tone.
Hiruzen heard the familiar verbal tic and smiled since he couldn't find anything innately wrong with the statement, although he still felt something was wrong he could not fault anything the boy had said so maybe this contract would be for the best, "Then I congratulate you Naruto Uzumaki, you have displayed skills adequate to be named genin." the old man decided finally and the boy cheered with delight.
The Sandaime Hokage hoped he wasn't making a mistake as he prepared the required paperwork to have the boy named a genin of Konohagakure no Sato, the spiral in the center of the Hakke no Fuin Shiki had became an odd symbol and the eight pointed fuin was reduced to six points. Despite his reservations and the blatantly demonic taint of the chakra the boy had it seemed Naruto was still a happy child.
After all performing Kuchiyose no Jutsu without a contract sent you to the realm of beings you had the most affinity with, so perhaps everything was perfectly fine. Despite the way he rationalized it Hiruzen Sarutobi could not shake the ominous feeling he got whenever he called the shape of the symbol Naruto now bore to mind, the spiral replaces by an odd symbol, a circle with a cross coming off it an angle capped by a crescent.
"Suraaneshu..." Hiruzen muttered to himself, confirming that unlike the newly graduated blonde genin he in fact could not pronounce the alien name of the matriarch of whatever clan of beings Naruto had signed a contract with.
Translator Note: I put pleasure in google translate, Yorokobi showed up. Yorokobi also means delight and joy so it's a fitting localized name for Slaanesh among the Elemental Nations in my opinion. Yokubo translates to desire or lust on that note.