Its lack of returning function was another good reason to return quickly, before anything else... but his thoughts were quickly replaced by surprise as Natalia so suddenly closed the space between them and reached up to him. His eyes darted around as if there was a need for some cover. But they were alone; the camera shot out in the fight.
The jerk in his chest, the beat his pulse missed, tugged him far from the logical mindset as Natalia's lips landed on his.
James' eyes slipped closed as she wrapped her arms around him. He returned her kiss feverishly, as that warmth wrapped around his senses and she smelled so good, so close. She felt so good, so much better than any dreams of this. His metal arm squealed in protest as he forced it up and wrapped his hands around her. His metal one failed and fell short to wrap below her shoulders and his flesh ran up her side as he pushed them both back against the wall.
How much had he wanted this? Needed this, and suddenly she returned these wishes? His head was dizzy with it all, lost in the flaring of their combined fire and how she felt against him.
"Electrical charges mixed with a secretion," she mumbled as the answer to what had happened. Natalia still looked at his arm, wondering how these people knew about his arm in general. Most people believed the Winter Soldier to be a ghost - a figment of those who wanted people to fear the Russian empire. So, how did they know how to fight his arm and even stop it from working?
"You'll be able to use your arm again in a few hours," She said louder than before. Natalia had no reason to believe the guard had lied to her. The substance was slowly burning on her bare skin, so she wiped it on her clothes and inspected her inflamed skin.
Her mind had gone blank or instead filled with one need to make sure he was alright and to touch him, feel him. Killing and acting like she had been trained all her life was addictive. It was an addiction she had tried fighting since she was five or six. A simple target and a pull of a trigger released hormones and a feeling no one could adequately describe. Followed by a short high of performing well and a rush of adrenaline. Combine that with the need for survival and one has the perfect drug.
But it was nothing compared to the longing of wanting to feel James's lips against her own right now. It was addictive in a very different way and again, it didn't fail to quieten the noise in her mind. She almost pulled back to apologize for stepping over her boundaries, but he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. It made her heart beat even faster against her ribs and she kissed him passionately as they moved to the wall.
"James..." she whispered heatedly against his lips and ran a hand up to his hair. A distinct memory of how he had seemed to like it the last time they had kissed. Perhaps things hadn't been much of a cover the last time. She felt stupid for staying out of his way and all that awkwardness because he seemed to feel the same way. They played with fire and their destiny, but she loved it. Her head was fuzzy and his lips sent pleasant shivers down her spine.
The way she said his name like that drove him crazy. Completely irrational, he pulled her in further against him and moved his flesh hand into her hair. So quiet, and that flare of life he was always so in awe with directed towards him. James could tell she wanted this as badly as he had, did, but still couldn't get enough of it. His mind had never been so his own before as it was when he was caught up in the feel of her lips and the heat running through him.
Eventually, unfortunately, he had to breathe, and he pulled his head back. But he kept his face lingering near hers as he looked over her own. The way her eyes were afire and her gaze seemed to pierce inside him. He had so little in his memories that constituted his own, but never in those years had he imagined he could want something, someone as much as he did her.
The look in her eyes made him lean in and capture her lips again for a second kiss. James could not stay away thinking of hardly anything else for two weeks. When it was her who brought this on now, with no real reason to do so. No cover or requirement... she simply came to him again. That she chose to was somehow exhilarating. How was it possible he hadn't always felt this way about her? Again though, his lungs pulled for air and he was forced to tilt his head back. But he kept his metal arm wrapped around her, even if it kept slipping from lack of motor control.
Still, his eyes wandered over hers, his blue eyes unusually light as he took her in. Marveled at the fact that if he wanted, there was nothing to stop him from doing so again. "Natalia," James muttered as he ran his hand through her hair. The fondness that had been there for years only deepened. He couldn't help the smile aimed at her, a lopsided carefree grin that none could imagine on the Winter Soldier.
"Well..." He started, his eyes sparkling with sudden amusement and boldness to put it to words. "That was certainly not for a cover..." He finished teasingly.
She hummed happily as he pulled her closer and moved his hand up her hair. It felt amazing to finally let go and kiss him. Apparently, she had fooled herself into believing that kiss had been merely part of the mission two weeks ago. Two weeks of kissing were ruined by her getting out of his way. Leaving him alone meant she didn't need to face him or that awkwardness. It felt so good to finally give in to the urge to kiss him heatedly.
As he pulled away, her mind screamed at her to move forward to press her lips against his again. But her lungs were thankful to finally be able to get some oxygen. She looked breathlessly up to him, but her gaze was drawn down to his lips, hoping to feel them again. Her eyes were filled with both need and happiness over the shared kiss.
Soon she felt his kiss again and almost instantly responded by moving her lips against his. She pulled him closer even though he wasn't really physically able to. It felt like her heart was ready to explode from happiness. That was a very foreign feeling for her. To want something so much and actually be able to get it.
Natalia noticed the unusual joyful and carefree facial expression, which made her grin back at him. "Hey you..." she whispered back as he muttered her name and ran her hand from his hair to his cheek. Natalia gently caressed his cheek, happy to have stepped forward and just kissed him again. She noticed that his eyes were lighter than usual and lacked the usual seriousness. It felt good having him so close, even though his lips were still dangerously close to hers.
She laughed and shook her head. Then, her smile widened and she kissed him gently. Compared to their kisses, it was like she almost didn't even touch his lips. "No, not really..." she agreed and continued "More like something that was way overdue for two weeks."
Her laugh was so light that it made him shiver. This all suddenly felt surreal, like a dream. Because he didn't know this gentleness. Heat, passion, it was all new too, but it was still extreme.
Natalia always took him by surprise, though. After all, she was never very good at doing what she was told. Still, some small part of him yearned for her gentleness as much as her determined fire that usually attracted him.
"I'm not sure which of us takes the blame for that," He muttered softly and took his hand away to wipe off on his pants before raising it again to wipe the smudges of blood from her cheek. It reminded him of where they were... how wildly inappropriate this was. If anyone of his people saw him, or hers for that matter… saw him in the middle of a mission like this? Well, he'd be placed back in the cold, the one he lost everything to, far from the warmth of Natalia.
Despite that, he ran his hand across her jaw and leaned in to kiss her again. Then he leaned away again and with another obnoxious squeal, he was able to unhook his metal arm from her.
"Come, let us finish with the security cameras and then we can return to this," He promised her. After all, they were their own extraction. This was too high profile, another reason he suddenly remembered they needed to leave. Especially with his arm malfunctioning. As if a warning sign, a guard scuttled around the corner. He ducked down to one of the dead bodies and tugged the gun. Natalia had never let them fire so he raised it to shoot the guard between the eyes.
"Come," He repeated, gesturing down the hall for her to go first.
Natalia looked at him as he muttered. She knew the answer to that. The Red Room had repeatedly proved that all Black Widows were disposable. She might bring glory to Russia, but that didn't mean there weren't girls to take her place. But there was only one Winter Soldier. So, she either started to show that there was no one like her or she'd be gone by the time they realized she stole those cursed files for the man in front of her. Her loyalties had always been with James Barnes instead of the government. No matter what the Winter Soldier had tried to teach her. Her only advantage was that her missions were always aligned instead of working in the opposite direction, except for her natural curiosity. She was sure that trait would put a bullet into her brain one day.
"I will take the fall not you," she said quietly, and in a way, it sounded like it was a matter of fact instead of a possibility.
She savoured their last kiss as she was sure that, in a way, that meant going back to their professional relationship. No warmness, only watching the other operate.
"You should oil that arm of yours. It sounds awful," She spoke lightheartedly and was about to reach down to her ankle as a new guard appeared, but James had been faster.
"Don't think I will forget that you still owe me a knife after this!" she warned him lighthearted and pulled her second knife out of the man's head. She wiped the blood off the guard's clothes before placing it back where it belonged. She glanced down the corners, unsure of which way to take.
"This time, I won't let you go alone. You should've waited, James. What if I hadn't come in time? You were outnumbered!" she scolded him gently, only showing how worried and panicked she had become after realizing what was going on.
Natalia looked over her shoulder at him as she waited for him to catch up so he could take the lead as he seemed to know where they needed to go.
"That was not what I meant," He said in a rougher voice and reached up to tug her chin so she could see he was serious. He hadn't even been thinking in those terms. But... perhaps it was something he should evaluate. He just didn't want to because there was only one rational end to that... not to do anything at all. But that seemed so agonizing...
She teased, but the half-formed thoughts haunted the back of his mind. The Soldier... James didn't want to put her in danger, but he didn't want to let her go. He wasn't even sure if he had ahold of anything or if it was just mutual chemistry. Somehow he knew it wasn't so simple.
He snorted at her concern about him getting out, but still, he looked at her warmly. She had been concerned? Another strange thing about her that was entirely new to him, she always bothered herself with concern over him. No one did that.
"I might have been injured, shot a few times, but I would have disposed of them before I bled out," He shrugged as he walked up to her. He didn't pass her. Instead, he walked in line with her and then looked down to meet her gaze.
He didn't want her to feel like she hadn't helped him. On the contrary, she had done so very efficiently when he'd been cornered. "You saved me quite some pain, though," He added in an attempt to console her feelings as he led them down the hallway to the security office. James didn't usually equate pain with things. The pain was natural, second nature to him. Like a wearisome friend one couldn't get rid of.
Natalia glanced at him as he moved her chin, so she was looking at him. She heard the change in his voice, but something about that statement made her hide her genuine emotions. It was hidden behind an emotionless mask. In a way, she was hiding what she really felt. It was a mix of pain and excitement for what lay before them. Natalia knew it would only end in pain, though. There was no happy end out. Their life wasn't one of those fairytales in which parents told their children good night.
She rolled her eyes as he mentioned that he would've lived. "Even you die when someone shoots a bullet through your brain," she told him, formed a gun with her right hand against his temple, and made a quiet shot noise. Her hand jacked a little backwards as she acted like she felt the recoil of the gun. Natalia drew her hand back, knowing it was doubtful, but the thought haunted her. Whether he was thankful or not, she was glad she had helped him. Natalia wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if she had also lost him.
"You're welcome," she simply said and shrugged it off like it had been nothing. She walked with James to the security office but didn't dare gaze at him, still thinking he should've waited. Somehow she felt like being back as his student even though she had finally proved that she wasn't his student anymore. There was nothing that he could teach her anymore after all.
Eventually, she looked at him and a gentle smile broke the mask she had tried to keep on while they walked. Natalia tried to shake the feeling off, though. It was a weird mixture of pain and worry she hadn't felt before. She ran a hand through her hair, wondering where the pain came from. It was most likely due to the knowledge that they would never have a reasonable chance of testing those newfound feelings in public. Only in privacy, as well as continually fearing one might get caught.
"Do you have any idea about what they want with that thing they want us to retrieve?" she asked him, showing her curiosity about that thing. Natalia knew he should be used to her habit of prying into things that were none of her business. However, her expression changed from blank to curiosity in a blink of an eye, showing that she allowed him in again.
"We'll see," He chuckled, smirking his lips. He had not died yet; he'd never really thought about death. Death meant the end of an uncompleted mission, so he had never thought of it, really. He looked down at her with a different smirk as she told him he was welcome. Death, even the concept of death, felt unwelcome now.
The guard inside was killed after they swiped the ID card to get into the office. He left her side to sit in front of the computer and started pulling back the cameras and destroying them. Then he'd made sure none of it was live feed; if it were, they would need to track it back, but that was one of the rare things he'd need to report. But it was no problem. Their security cameras were all in-house and easily destroyed.
Natalia spoke next to him and it drew part of his focus. But he kept to his task. Something about the shift in things between them, or perhaps simply that she had become so skilled kept him from reprimanding her. Not that it ever worked.
"I know only what is important for the mission," James said simply, eyes still scanning the computers. "The package is highly flammable and cannot be pierced," He stated.
"Don't joke about such things," she told him and sent him a scolding gaze. She shook her head and looked at him with small eyes as his lips quirked upward. One day she would be able to say I told you so and she would gladly shout that at him while he lay in some kind of coffin. Oh, how she couldn't wait for that kind of satisfaction and it raised her lips in a taunting smile.
Natalia followed him inside and leaned casually against a wall while crossing her arms in front of her chest. "A gentleman would've offered the lady the only chair, you know? Especially after she saved his ungrateful ass back there," she told him as she watched him work on the security footage. Her gaze almost seemed bored now while she waited for him to finish and the footage flickering over the black and white screens. "I suppose there's nothing left of your arm debacle?" she asked and her eyes flicked from the screens to him.
"You're always so boring, Winter..." she mentioned with an exaggerated sigh but was more than surprised to have him not scold her for trying to interrogate them in a direction that might jeopardize their mission.
"I mean, aren't you the slightest bit curious on why the heck you almost lost your arm and life?" she continued. Perhaps Natalia was pushing him too far, but she was sure he wouldn't do anything other than scold her. He wouldn't take severe actions against her. James had proven that before. Only scoldings and after their current relationship changed, she was sure he wouldn't kiss and tell.
"I am very grateful," He said in a lower tone, pausing to look over his shoulder and at her. Well, he was grateful, not only for the help in the mission but the somewhat relieving perk afterwards as well. That had been something he was thankful for.
"No," He said, voice once again serious as he swept through the footage again. It was troubling, but it was not his mission to take care of such things and it would be fixed. "Nothing on here," He added, sure there would be a further search. But he would be told if it was his place to search for that.
James looked back over his shoulder with a smirk as she said that, boring was he? His smirk faltered momentarily and he returned his divided focus to the screen. No... again, he had never quite thought in those regards, much less thought of death. So why would he feel about life, either?
He decided to not answer that until he thought more about it. It was troubling and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to have a specific answer or not. He felt he should, but part of him knew he wasn't supposed to. So, James instead turned and looked at her. She made it easy to forget. Natalia was so free of a spirit that he found while he was discovering one, he hadn't had it quite right yet. But what was right by any means?
"You didn't find me so boring before," He grinned.
"Oh really? Why haven't I heard a thank you or got my knife back from you? I was really fond of that particular knife, you know..." she taunted him with a grin. This felt good. They were back to normal and nothing felt like that awkward encounter earlier in the day or two weeks ago. So they were back to normal. Well, of some sort, if one excluded their shared kisses. A short but fond smile crossed her lips at the memory of feeling his lips on hers... She visibly shook her head to get the memory out of her mind.
Natalia nodded and gestured to the door. "Alright, let's go, James. I don't want to take out any more guys. I feel like we've left a huge trail of bodies by now," she spoke gently as he seemed satisfied with his erasing work. She trusted in his ability to make things unseen as it might be compromising for both of them to be caught on camera kissing like that.
Her smile grew as he turned to her and his smile faltered. It showed her she was pushing the right buttons. Making him question things he would usually enjoy ignoring.
"Define before-" she spoke and suggested "-Perhaps I simply acted like you aren't boring or maybe I do need a reminder on why you're not boring"She grinned and her gaze dropped to his lips for a second. Somehow hoping that he would get up and walk over to her.
"You want me to go back and get it?" He asked quickly, he knew she was teasing, but he might even backtrack to get it if she insisted. But, of course, he had forgotten about it already.
He nodded and rose as she spoke. Yes they had, but he also decided to destroy the computer monitor as well, so nothing could be recovered from it. James didn't want any of what had gone on to be seen.
His arm jerked up subtly and he wondered if it would take longer to fix. It was highly involved. Natalia was right, though; body count aside, it was essential to maintain the package and that was what mattered.
Natalia once again distracted him and a grin curved up his face. Her voice insinuated how she looked at him from under her eyelashes and had him rising out of his seat.
"Oh?" He continued with the joke as he rose from the seat. "I suppose I must remind you of something important, Natalia," He whispered low and reached out to wrap his strong arm around her. Then, with a quick jerk, he pulled her against him and leaned in to kiss her again.
Natalia shook her head and her red curls bounced a little. But it was too late for that and she was sure the Red Room wouldn't mind giving her new knives. She only needed to make sure that she received a really sharp one. Nothing was more exhausting than trying to cut something and you basically have to saw. "Nah, there's no time for going back to retrieve a knife. We should leave," she told him gently but smiled over the offer.
Her grin grew as he rose to his feet. "I think so, too..." she whispered back and felt the quick pull as he moved her against him. Then, almost naturally, her arm wrapped around his broad shoulders. She caressed his cheek and mumbled breathlessly, "James..." It didn't take her long to close the small gap and she kissed him.
Almost instantly, the kiss was distracting her. Suddenly they weren't standing amid a mission but somewhere else. Somewhere private, there only the two of them mattered. She kissed James feverishly as she ran her hand along the stubble of his beard to entangle her fingers with his long hair.
She did then? It felt like he could feel his pulse pounding hard in his body, a steady strum of energy. Good... that was a mission he'd gladly choose. Of course, it wasn't a mission, and he didn't know how to think of it, but maybe he wasn't supposed to. The slow touch was as if Natalia were shocking him where her fingers trailed across his cheek.
In the small, enclosed room, silent except for her breathing, James was completely relaxed. The only tension in him was where her hands ran, sparking a fire in him. Someone could blow his brains out now and he didn't think he'd have much of a problem dying that way.
"How do you do that?" He chuckled a little breathless. Sure he didn't have anything to base it on, but she was a hell of a kisser. How could he not be breathless?
Her heart was hammering against her chest fast and she was sure he could feel it. But perhaps she simply imagined this. Her body was soaking in his closeness and warmth as they kissed. She enjoyed holding him while his kiss, as well as touch, were sending pleasant shivers down her skin. He even managed to give her goosebumps. She moved even a little closer as she threatened to get weak knees.
Eventually, they broke the kiss and a happy smile spread over her lips. She was delighted to have James here. Even the Red Room couldn't take this happiness away from her. She wanted to savor it as long as possible with no one around. She brought her hand back to his cheek and caressed his skin with her thumb as her gaze was soft.
"Do what?" she asked him softly, almost purring. This time she hadn't chosen to talk to him like this for teasing. But it came natural as her mind was still consumed with the kiss. His kisses started a fire and need in her she hadn't felt before by kissing someone. In fact, she wasn't even used to getting weak knees like this.
The sound of her voice almost made him not mention it. Because she was so beautiful and he could so quickly stay captured like this. But the thoughts only made them spill from James' lips, unable to keep them from her.
"Make me lose focus," He responded. For some reason, the word forget didn't seem to have the same connotation, it should mean the same thing, but he didn't feel like it did. He ran his thumb over Natalia's cheekbone, looking at her puzzled.
"Nothing ever has done that, Natalia," He muttered, and while his voice was gentle, it was troubled too. In that confused way. There was severe worry about it. Not that he was worried about it or unhappy about it... it... just. He knew it was wrong logically; he was not meant to lose focus on his mission. It was supposed to be all that mattered. Yet it felt like something clicking into place for James and he couldn't think of it as wrong.
He ducked his head, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her neck as if to reassure her as he spoke. It made it easier to say, too... "The mission is all that matters," He muttered the thoughts, the mantra, that usually pounded within his temple when he did become distracted. "Usually..." And yet... the words disappeared when they kissed like this, when he felt her against him, so close... and even standing here, nothing was painful for his lack of efficiency. James just didn't understand what it was about her. He didn't particularly care, but it confused him. "There's no pain... and we should already be gone," He muttered distractedly as he continued to kiss up her neck and then her jaw.
Natalia looked at him as she listened to him quietly. Part of her was surprised to hear that but also not so much surprised at all. She thought of what to say as she didn't want him to feel troubled about this. Whatever it was. "Sometimes it's good to lose focus," she whispered back and closed her eyes as he ran his thumb over her cheekbone. It made her feel like she was finally getting through to him. To make him question and perhaps make him discover something within him. For her, it finally confirmed he needed those files.
Her breathing quickened again as she felt his kiss on her neck. A soft sigh escaped her lips. It almost made it hard for her to listen. His lips were so distracting.
"No, it's not..." she whispered mindlessly as it showed the big difference between her and the Winter Soldier. "James..." she almost moaned his name as he kissed along her neck.
She turned her head and finally kissed him heatedly. "We really should leave..." she spoke against his lips but didn't make a move to let go of him. Instead, she moved them to the wall and trapped him between her and the wall as she placed one hand on the wall and wrapped the other tightly around him.
It was not good; the mission was absolute, to the highest efficiency and full completion.
Those were just thoughts now, thoughts he knew were comfortable. But not an ounce of him meant them at this moment with Natalia. It was the strangest thing. He could feel so much and no part of him gave a damn right now.
He could feel the quickening of her pulse in her neck. He was so distracted by how good his name sounded from her just now. Then she turned and he met her halfway eagerly. But, thank the good lord, Natalia kissed him. He slipped his flesh hand behind her neck to pull her to him as he deepened their kiss.
"But then we'd have to stop," He replied playfully, the Russian flowing huskily as she pinned him. His whole body seemed to shudder and rush with a renewed warmth. James pulled his still malfunctioning arm up to grab her around the waist and jerk her against him so he could feel her close again.
A needy growl left his lips when he finally pulled away from hers. But his eyes opened and remained glued to her, desperate for more. The truth was neither of them knew or had any control over when this would happen again. Once they stepped outside that door, it was all unknown and this would be the only sure memory they'd have. They both knew it despite not wanting to say it. It should not be happening and was one such thing he'd need to work out how to get around in a report. It was so worth it... he almost pulled her back in.
But... he also didn't want them stepping out the door only to be killed because they fooled around too long. He sighed, his face forming almost a pout as he wholly disengaged her and untangled their limbs. James instantly felt the lack of warmth on him and regretted it.
"Come on, before we get ourselves killed." He managed to summon up enough self of mind to double-check the package was still tucked safely in his vest. Seeing it was there, he pulled out the gun from his leg holster and nodded towards the door.
"That would be really unfortunate," she answered truthfully and was glad he didn't pull away. In fact, she kissed him even more heatedly. Natalia moved gladly with his metal arm as her body was pressed against his. She pressed against him and almost wrapped a leg around his waist as she heard his growl.
Natalia glanced up at him. Her eyes were black from her bloated pupils as she was desperate to feel his lips again. She wanted...no...needed to touch him. The truth was she didn't care about what might happen anymore. All she wanted to feel was him. James was so addictive and she didn't want to go outside. That meant that they could be together just for now. They couldn't be together as soon as they were back on the mission and out of this room. Not like this. The Red Room wouldn't allow it. No matter how much she craved it.
James pulled back for good and she stood there frozen. It was irrational, but it felt like he didn't want her. Not like that. Even though his reaction to them kissing felt the complete opposite of feeling rejected. She cleared her throat, trying to focus her mind instead of longing to feel his touch and kiss.
Natalia looked at him passively at first as he nodded towards the door. She also reached for her gun but didn't seem ready to shoot in case it was necessary. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before she stood with her shoulder to the wall to get cover if required.
"Ready?" she asked, sounding distant before opening the door.
James saw her preparing herself, turning her mind around as she should. So she was ready and no one would be injured, so she could focus on the mission.
But he didn't barge through the door as she opened her eyes and readied her weapon. Instead, a sly grin pulled up his lips and he crossed the doorway to press a quick kiss to her lips. Just one last time before they went... he knew it may be an idiotic thing to do, but he was no less wound up simply from taking a step from her. His focus was still divided.
"Now I am," He said with a smug smirk as he pulled back. Before they had to redo this entire process and never left, James went through the open door. No one was there and they only encountered another two guards near the exits with the route he took them down. Which was good; as Natalia had said, there had been enough people in the way thus far. They didn't need any more liabilities.
Natalia waited for his signal that he was ready. So she could open the door. It came as a surprise as he walked over to her to press one last kiss on her lips. She looked at him, a little irritated because he had just made it clear that it was better to leave than kiss. Yet he was the one kissing her again.
James was half the way down before she was able to move again. She followed him with light steps still holding her gun. The building was surprisingly empty, but she guessed that she had killed most of the guards by now and not everyone was willing to die for their job after all.
They walked silently to the car and Natalia sat down in the passenger's seat so he would be able to drive this time. The silence. It had obviously shifted from awkward to a pleasant one. "How do you want this to be at the Red Room?" she eventually asked him because Natalia was sure they wouldn't be able to act like this around there.
His gaze slid to her as he pulled them out of the facility, made sharp turns through the city, and crawled through other parts to ensure they weren't being tailed. Whoever had the foresight to expect him and be equipped against his arm was surely smart enough to follow someone trying to take the package.
James worked the particular words in his mind, growing serious once again. Still, a small part of him was pleased by her exact words. The meaning... that simply because it had happened, and that it could not happen, did not mean she wanted it to stop there. Part of him was thrilled by the idea of being able to be close to her in the future.
"If anyone found out about this... we'd be taken to Siberia, or worse," He met her gaze so he didn't have to say they'd likely be killed. There might even be worse consequences than death, but he only barely remembered them. In any case, it wasn't optional to be found out. "But part of me doesn't care," James confided and returned his gaze to the street as he veered off to get onto the highway, satisfied no one was following them. He'd know once they got on the stretch of freeway.
Natalia got comfortable in the passenger's seat and placed her feet on the console. It looked like she was either relaxing or sleeping. Despite the dried blood on her clothing, nothing showed that she had just been on a killing spree.
She first opened her eyes as he spoke to her. A frown formed on her forehead as he mentioned Siberia. Natalia wasn't supposed to know about that place and what they did there. But still, she had read about it in that file. So did he expect her to ask or not? "Our fate is to be killed sometime. So why not live while we're at it? The way we want to... at least just a little..?" She spoke casually, but worried about the outcome.
His second statement agreed with that and how he acted a bit ago. None of them had wanted to leave the place after all. Kissing had just been too good... but she needed to act like it didn't matter. At least for the Red Room.
"Your fate is not to die, Natalia,"He told her sternly, his eyes meeting hers with unusual resolution resting in them. The idea of Natalia dying bothered him greatly. He decided then that he would not let her. She was meant for many great things, perhaps for Russia, but she still was meant for a good life. James looked at his mirrors to gaze behind them and leaned up to look out the windshield for anything that might be above him.
He took in a deep breath as he thought about the problem they both faced. It was tricky, and he knew the real solution... but James couldn't accept it enough to offer it to her. His want... this one want, he couldn't ignore it. He didn't trust his left hand to steer now, so he'd left it on the seat. Now he moved it over to where Natalia was leaning back and with a low grinding noise, he could make his fingers capture her own.
Being with Natalia did not affect his missions or his purpose. He knew they would not see it that way, but it did not... they both still had the package. Perhaps it was frowned upon, but he couldn't find enough reason to dismiss it. Even if he could, James doubted as he struggled internally with the situation that he could disregard it.
"What they do not know cannot hurt us," He finally replied. They were intelligent; they knew how they ought to act and what they had to do for missions. They could make it work in the shadows...
Natalia snorted unladylike as James told her she was not to die. "Everyone dies, James. It's just a matter of time. We're not particularly living a safe life," she said and looked over at him. It was the truth, even though they both tried to tell each other the opposite. Though she wasn't so sure when it came to the Winter Soldier. She had no indication of whether it was true, but if the file was true, he was way older than he actually looked.
"Relax. We're not being followed, or else one of us would've already recognized something," Natalia mumbled to him as he leaned forward.
Hearing his metal arm creak, she looked over at him again. It made her wonder if it had been a smart move to allow him to drive. But then again, James was more than capable of doing things with his right hand. The left one stood out and was definitely more deadly or stronger than the right one. Yet she wasn't afraid of the metal. In fact, she had always wondered how he kept it so shiny as a child. The thought of him polishing the metal had amused her greatly. She intertwined their fingers as he reached for her hand.
His suggestion made her raise an eyebrow. Then, taking her feet down, she leaned over to him. "That is definitely true. We just have to make sure no one sees something like this..." she said and slowly leaned over to press a gentle kiss against his cheek. "Just a secret between you and me. A pleasant one." she whispered before leaning against the car door again while holding his hand.
Yes, that was true; everyone died. But while they were in dangerous situations, they were also overly capable of handling them. Perhaps James had no real control over her safety. He wasn't acting as if he did. But James would do whatever he could to ensure her time was not cut short and he would not have it cut short over him. That's really all he could promise her.
He felt a little nervous as she leaned in towards him. Perhaps because she was ultimately the one who would decide. If she agreed... or if she did not. He knew she trusted him, and now he knew she wanted such things in return. But enjoying and taking those risks were two different things.
But this was Natalia, ever determined. Constantly bending the rules to whatever whim, her curiosity took her. It was a trait he found both annoying when he was training her and exhilarating now. It was odd how things turned out. He could say that, at least.
Her words brought a smile to his face and he soaked in the small kiss. It was a shining reminder that he was obviously quite pleased she was taking the risk. For him, it wasn't a question of if; it was only a question of her own will to do so. He took his eyes off the road to smile at her own.
"I look forward to it," James said quietly, and he continued to steal small glances of her relaxed position against the door and how her hand looked wrapped around his.
"Eyes on the road, Soldier," she said casually and continued "-Take a picture. It'll last longer."
Natalia darted her eyes to the window to watch their surroundings instead of James. Still, she was more than aware of his glances from time to time. It made her smile even though she acted like it didn't matter. She was happy that he had agreed. It was still an odd thought that he actually wanted to act against the rule. After all, he had made it clear that such a thing was not tolerated by anyone. Still, here they were...
He smirked at her quick remark. Yes, well, a picture would be evidence. But, while he was free to stare at her as long as he liked and how he wanted, James would take full advantage. He knew very well he wouldn't be in the position to do so once within the Red Room.
Honestly, they only saw each other when people were around these days. She had graduated, was a spy in her own right and was above the training of the Red Room even though she operated out of it.
James hoped he'd find some time, though...
Author's Note: This is the first story of a full series around Bucky and Natasha's unseen past in the MCU. Stay tuned!
Leave a kudos or put it in the comments what you think will happen next or what you loved! It'll be great to hear from you! If you enjoyed the story, feel free to treat me to a coffee on KoFi! ko slash fi dot com slash fatedmuses