A/N: Bruno goes out with Felix and Agustin for Felix's bachelor party and it all goes horribly wrong. Includes references to alcohol and The Hangover. (Disclaimer: I've...never actually seen the Hangover, so this is all from what I've absorbed through what I have seen/heard about it.)

Encantober Prompt Day 9: Present

"Ay, come on, bro. No time like the present!"

Bruno groaned. He was not up for this. He was not into this. He was about as excited to go out tonight as a rat was excited to explore a new mousetrap.

But it was for Pepa.

If Félix wanted to go out for one last party as a bachelor before he married his sister, he supposed he could do his best.

So here he was, dressed up in his finest pair of trousers and a smart button up and a vest , courtesy of Agustín. They couldn't convince him to lose the sandals. He'd wear those to his own wedding if he had the choice.

(As if he'd ever get married.)

He'd wear them to his grave.

(That was a lot more likely.)

But he loved his family, and he loved his sisters, and he could even admit to loving his cuñados. They were good men, both of them, and he could see they would be excellent husbands and fathers. (He'd checked. Many times. Could never be too careful.)

So he'd go out tonight with the both of them and 'make merry', however one did that , and Pepa would be happy and Félix would be happy and Gus – Gus would be happy to make it through the night without using any of his emergency arepas.

Bruno groaned and blinked, lifting his head from the floor.

Wha - ?

He squinted, attempting to rub the grit from his eyes, and found that his hand had been resting in a plate of queso and only succeeded in smearing it across his face.

He groaned, attempting to use his ruana to wipe it off.

He wasn't wearing his ruana.

He wasn't wearing his ruana.

He panicked for a moment before remembering - he hadn't worn it last night, had he? Hadn't –

Félix and Agustín!

He used his sleeve to wipe his face and forced himself upright, his head pounding.

He got pounding headaches frequently, but – not like this.

This was from the devil's water.

Aguardiente.

The old liquid courage.

Or in their case, apparently - a liquid mistake.

He heard Agustín groan from somewhere else in the –

In the room. What room?

The – ah yes. The inn. The inn run by the couple that despised him for predicting that they'd never make it big in the Encanto.

Survive? Make enough to live comfortably off of? Sure.

But rake in the dough?

I mean.

An inn.

In a remote village surrounded by mountains that were impossible to climb.

Didn't exactly take a genius (or a fortune teller) to tell you the Encanto's hospitality industry was probably not booming.

Agustín stood, stammered, and promptly fell backwards over a pile of empty bottles, a tangled blanket, and a pillow.

Bruno squinted and blinked one eye at a time as Agustín's legs flailed before him.

A chicken squawked from somewhere.

In the room.

Bruno wisely decided to ignore it for the time being.

Agustín pulled himself up, whimpering slightly, and stumbled around the bed Bruno was leaning against, blindly searching for his glasses.

Bruno blinked, his face slack, and tried to focus on helping him search. There was a sandal on the windowsill. There was the chicken on the dresser, scratching and pecking at – something. Corn? For the chicken. I mean. Makes sense. A chicken's gotta eat, too, right?

There were empty plates and empty bottles strewn about the room, pillows and blankets were everywhere – and was that…

The 'Welcome' sign from Señor Garcias' storefront.

That was not a good sign.

Agustín found his glasses in the trash bin.

He settled them haphazardly on his nose, fumbling to get them behind his ears. "Ahhh…." he groaned, rubbing his face.

Bruno blinked. "Ah – you've got – a little - " he pointed to his own forehead.

Agustín belched, covering his mouth with his hand in horror.

"Your forehead says 'Bee'." Bruno said flatly.

Agustín blinked at him. "Yours says 'Pezmuerto'."

What?! Bruno's heart stuttered in fear.

Which was dumb. It was just writing. On his head. That he had no idea how to explain to his mother. Or his sisters.

A pile of blankets moved, and Félix stretched, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and hauled himself upright, shaking his head slowly. "Wow," he said, blinking heavily.

Chicken was scribbled across his forehead.

Félix was not a fan of chickens.

A memory fought it's way up through the fog.

'I'm a bee?!' Gus gasped in horror. 'You…you made me my worst enemy?'

'Well, you made me a chicken! Not only that, you GAVE me a live chicken! What kind of a present is a live chicken, Gus?'

'I panicked, okay? It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was an accident! And it's better than a dead one!'

'Better a dead chicken than a dead fish!'

'Okay, can we stop with the dead fish already?!'

Apparently they'd played the Name Game last night and they'd all decided they were comedians.

"Wow," Félix said again, rubbing his temples with his fingers.

Agustín gagged and lurched forward across the room to the small attached bathroom.

Wow.

Apparently they'd splurged on the suite. Most of the inns' rooms shared the bathroom in the hallway.

Bruno winced at the sound of Gus gagging. Suddenly, Gus yelped, leaped out the door, and slammed it behind him.

"There's a donkey in there," he gasped.

Félix's brows drew together and his mouth twitched up into a disbelieving smile. "No way. A donkey ?"

He walked to the bathroom and opened the door. He poked his head in and stopped for a moment, and then turned around, pulling the door closed behind him. His eyes were wide with shock.

He looked at Bruno. Bruno looked at him. They both looked at Agustín.

"Bro," Félix said. "There's a donkey in there."

Said donkey nickered and moved, obviously bumping up against something and knocking it to the floor. The donkey continued to bray, the sound growing louder and louder. Apparently she was not happy that her beauty sleep had been interrupted.

Suddenly, there was a banging on the door.

"Félix Álvarez, what are you doing in there? I better not be hearing what I think I'm hearing, you smooth-talking son-of-a -" the Innkeeper's voice grew sharper as she went on.

Bruno leapt up, pulling Félix and Gus with him to the window. He threw open the sash and looked down. A pile of hay. Great.

"Ladies first?" He asked the chicken that was now pecking at his ankles. He scooped her up and tossed her – gently – and she squawked in protest, flailing her wings and landing with a disgruntled puff in the hay.

"Uh – I don't – I don't really think this is a good - " Agustín looked out the window and gagged slightly. "Ah – I'm - " he patted his vest and trouser pockets frantically. "I'm out of arepas."

The banging on the door intensified.

"Would you rather face the hay or her?" Félix jerked a thumb over his shoulder at his tía's angry ranting, one leg already out the window. He swung out of it and dropped into the hay like an old pro – and Bruno suddenly became much more suspicious of how easily he escaped out the window, visions of Pepa's bedroom window flashing before his eyes.

Agustín groaned as Bruno shoved him out the window, folding his arms and legs awkwardly in an attempt to get him to fit through.

He fell, but he landed in the hay, so - at least that worked.

"I'm getting my keys and there better be a good explanation for this - " the angry voice on the other side of the door stated.

Bruno sighed, blowing the air from his lungs out his nose in one long rush.

What was that Félix had said, just last night?

No time like the present.

He jumped, slid down the haystack, grabbed Agustín by the sleeve and Félix by the collar, and ran like his pants were on fire.

Which they might be, if Pepa found Félix like this.

He had a feeling she'd be looking for explanations, and they were fresh out of any of those - let alone good ones.

Too bad he couldn't see into the past and figure out what had happened last night.

He didn't need to look into the future to know they were all three of them in big trouble.

A/N: Just in case it wasn't clear, they were all playing that game where you write something on a card and stick it on someone else's forehead and they have to ask yes or no questions to figure out what/who they are.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day!