We're almost there! Just this chapter then the epilogue left!

This chapter's song is Limitless by Amaranthe.

Chapter 13 - Limitless

April 1903

As April dawned, it was odd to think it was autumn here now; when they'd arrived in Australia last June winter had just begun, and Sydney's mild climate had been a welcome change from the frigid winters of Cumberland. Thomas found he didn't mind the strange seasonal adjustment at all; he'd heard many migrants complain about the summer heat, but he'd had enough of the cold to last his whole life. Ice and frost had been Lucille's realm, the deadened trees and glacial chill suiting her temperament; Edith was the personification of summer, with its green foliage, soft breezes, and frolicking animals reveling in the warmth. No, Thomas was not at all sorry to be living in a part of the world that would never be plagued with snow and where the trees would never lose their leaves.

Thomas found their new life so different from anything he'd experienced before that it almost seemed his past was a dream - a nightmare, really, that he'd just now woken from. The isolation of Allerdale Hall and his sister's jealousy meant that Thomas hadn't truly mingled in society for years, barring his and Lucille's excursions to hunt for investors and wives; indeed, he hadn't had to interact more than superficially with practically anyone besides Lucille since he was at university.

Knowing that he hadn't had a male friend since his schooldays, Edith had gently encouraged Thomas to remedy this state of affairs. It was odd to attempt to form true connections with others, but for Edith's sake he tried; they'd hosted dinner at their home several times for Thomas's fellow engineers and their wives, and he quietly envied his beloved's ease at conversing with their company.

Edith grew close with two ladies in particular and began to spend time with them on occasion, reading books together, shopping, sewing, and whatever else it was that society ladies do in their free time. Thomas had been invited to the gentlemen's club with his colleagues a few times, and though he felt ill at ease at first, he soon began to enjoy these excursions and found that it was pleasant to let his guard down a bit and befriend others.

It was strange and freeing to be unburdened both by his former station and the never-ending quest to eke what meager gains could be found from the clay at Allerdale Hall. He'd secretly dreamed of such a life for years, but never thought he'd be able to obtain it; with Lucille's insistence that they remain put, he'd always felt obligated to maintain his lofty status (such as it was) and pour more and more money down into the bottomless clay vats underneath his ancestral home. Both had been millstones around his neck, drawing him ever deeper into the mire; now here, with Edith, he'd left all of that behind forever. People knew them as nothing more than an engineer and his pretty authoress wife, a newlywed couple who had ventured to this country in search of a better life.

Thomas smiled to himself as he recalled Edith's enthusiasm for her writing. She'd been quite secretive about her latest project, telling him only that it was a new novel and turning down his offers to read and offer commentary on what she'd written so far. She assured him that he'd be able to read the entirety of the work once it was finished, but that in the meantime he must be content with ignorance. Thomas only hoped she didn't tire herself out too much with the enterprise, given that she was holding herself to a deadline of four more months to fully complete the work - a full two months before October came.

For Edith had finally conceived.

Nothing had been wrong with either of them after all, as it turns out - it really had just taken time, as the midwife had suggested. Just a month after Edith had visited the woman, she'd missed her first cycle - and the next week had started feeling sick to her stomach. She wasn't as miserably ill as Lucille had been during her pregnancy; however, at points the nausea had been bad enough that she hadn't even been able to muster the strength to sit up in bed, instead curling into a ball of misery under the covers with a basin beside her.

Thomas felt wretched about having to leave his wife for work instead of being home to help while she was indisposed, and he'd used her affliction to persuade her that engaging a housekeeper was a good idea. Edith still resisted the idea at first, but after he'd made the very good point that she was likely to need help throughout her pregnancy and after the baby arrived as well, she finally relented and accepted his offer. They found the perfect candidate in Mrs. Barrow, an older, widowed woman whom they hired to help with the duties of the household six days per week.

Despite the sickness, Edith was thrilled to finally be with child; in addition to ramping up the pace on her novel, she'd already started to transform the spare bedroom into a nursery, begun to knit a baby blanket (though she sheepishly admitted that she had little skill in the art), and had visited a shop to purchase a cradle. She'd also suggested several possible names for the child, both male and female, and wanted Thomas's opinion on all of them.

Thomas was excited too, he really was. Sometimes a feeling of uncontrollable elation swept over him - this was his second chance, an opportunity to be a father again, to do it right this time! But there was also an underlying sense of dread he never could quite shove aside, no matter how hard he tried. What if something went terribly wrong? He knew, logically, it was useless to dwell on these types of thoughts - but over a decade of life with Lucille had engrained the habit in him deeply, and it was easy to fall back into old patterns.

In order to combat these feelings, Thomas threw himself into inventing once more. Though his work on the tram system was not unpleasant, it didn't require much innovation on a daily basis; instead, Thomas found himself rediscovering his passion for creating mechanical contraptions in the workshop he'd set up at their house. After Edith was asleep at night, Thomas often found himself stealing away from their bed and creeping to the workroom, often staying up into the wee hours of the morning creating toys for their future child.

Thomas was just putting together the last delicate bits of his most recent creation when he heard the faint but unmistakable sound of Edith retching from their bedroom. Grimacing, Thomas put down the components and rushed off to assist his wife in any way he could - the toy would have to wait until later.

July 19, 1903

An unnaturally calm sensation took over Edith as she pulled the last page of her completed novel out of the typewriter and placed it at the bottom of the stack of papers that together comprised her finished novel. She'd accomplished her goal a full month before her self-imposed deadline; Edith had expected to feel elated, but instead experienced only a sense of disbelief at being done, along with more than a little anxiety over what would come next.

Now that it was completed, she'd promised Thomas that he could read her book.

Crimson Peak was a highly fictionalized version of the events surrounding her courtship and early marriage to Thomas. Everything she'd experienced had, in some way, been included in the novel. The characters and setting were her own creation, but at the core the story entirely parallelled Thomas and Edith's relationship - the "happy" beginning that turned out to be based on nothing but lies, the horrors endured as the deceptions were slowly revealed, and the eventual triumph of light over darkness as evil was defeated and the villain chose to leave wickedness behind and live an honorable life.

Edith wasn't certain what Thomas would think of their history being used in this way. Would he perceive Crimson Peak as a betrayal, as her exploiting his past for the sake of a story? Or would he see it the way she intended the tale to be read - as an illustration of how people can change for the better, and that hope and love can triumph over all?

Well, no use putting it off, Edith resolved, and swept the paper stack into her arms and headed to Thomas's workshop.

Thomas glanced up as she entered, and his eyebrows rose as his gaze fell on the manuscript in her hands. "You're done with it already? You've finished early!" he exclaimed, grinning. Rising, he crossed the room and took Edith into his arms, the rounded lump of the babe within her pressing between them. Thomas dipped his head down and their lips met in a kiss; however, he must have noticed she wasn't responding as enthusiastically as usual, because he drew back with a frown. "Edith, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing," Edith assured him. "Just…Thomas, let me explain. Before you read it. Please."

"Explain what?"

"The book…the title is Crimson Peak. It's…inspired by us. By what happened at Allerdale Hall."

Thomas's face had gone blank, and Edith forged on, her stomach churning. "No one would ever know it - no one that's not us, that is. I've not included any of the actual details, or places, or people. But…in its very essence, it's our story. I wanted - I needed - to write this. I had to get it out, all the feelings, the memories, everything. I didn't write it to make light of what happened - just the opposite, actually…" Edith trailed off, aware she was rambling. Turning pleading eyes upon her husband, she exclaimed, "Please, just read it and give it a chance!"

Thomas was still for several moments, betraying nothing of his thoughts. Finally, he gently reached out and took the papers from her hands, glancing down at the title page then back up at Edith's face. "Of course I will," he murmured. "I trust you, Edith."

A dizzying wave of relief swept over her, and Edith grinned widely. "Oh, thank God! I was so afraid you'd be disappointed with the very idea!"

"Well, I reserve the right to pass full judgment after I've completed it," Thomas rejoined, a wry smile gracing his face. "But no, I'm not disappointed. I could tell how much writing this has meant to you, these past months, and I'd never just dismiss it out of hand. Even if…even if I'm not sure I'll enjoy reading it."

"That's more than I could ask for."

July 22, 1903

Three days later, after they'd performed their nightly ablutions and had just slipped into bed, Edith exclaimed, "Thomas! Quick, feel here!" She seized his hand and brought it to her curved stomach, where the child had begun to kick within. Thomas beamed as he felt their progeny beat a rhythm against his palm, and dropped his head to lay on her stomach.

"I'll never tire of that," Thomas stated softly, as the babe eventually quieted and he drew back.

"I'm sure I will," Edith countered. "You're not the one who's being kept up every night by it!"

"True. Although, you do know that we'll both be kept up at night by the child after the birth, correct?" he teased.

"Oh, don't remind me!" As much as Edith was looking forward to motherhood, the prospect of long-term sleep deprivation was not an aspect she was anticipating with glee.

Sobering, Thomas suddenly turned and pulled out Crimson Peak from the drawer of his bedside table and held it out to her. "Speaking of being kept up…I could hardly sleep these last few nights, I was so engrossed in this."

With a faint tremble in her fingers, Edith took the sheaf from him and held it to her breast. "You've finished it?"

"Yes, I have."

When nothing more was forthcoming, Edith couldn't help but exclaim, "And…? What did you think?"

Thomas regarded her silently for a moment before speaking. "It's…remarkable. Truly. It wasn't easy for me to get through…but it was beautiful. The storytelling was like nothing I've ever read. I was afraid it'd be too painful to finish, but it was captivating even through the agonizing memories…when all seemed dark, you always gave glimpses of hope. It was so obviously written by you, Edith - I could never tell our tale nearly as well. Your perspective on everything that happened, and especially 'my' character - the way you've written his redemption is…amazing. Is that truly how you see me?"

The vulnerability on Thomas's face touched Edith's heart, and she placed the manuscript on her bed and took his hands in hers. "It is, Thomas, you know it is. I love you!"

Giving her a tremulous smile back, Thomas answered, "I do know. But I still doubt, sometimes, even after all this time. Your love seems…unbelievable."

"Believe," Edith maintained fiercely. "No matter what, my love for you will never change. I've chosen you twice over, forgiven you for everything, and committed to be your wife until the end. I love you, Thomas Sharpe, and never forget it!"

"I won't, my love, I won't," he whispered back, gathering her into his arms. "I love you too."

October 12, 1903

Thomas paced the hallway back and forth, over and over, letting out a shaky breath as yet another scream rent the air. He felt helpless, an emotion he hadn't experienced strongly in a long time - he'd forgotten how much he hated the sensation.

Edith had been in labor since the previous evening, and Thomas had dispatched Mrs. Barrow for the midwife that morning as her contractions became more intense. He'd also sent a messenger to inform his employer that the child was coming; thankfully, Mr. Douglas was an understanding man with a wife and children of his own, and had no problem with Thomas taking off from work for a few days.

When the midwife and her assistant had arrived she'd promptly removed Thomas from the bedroom, saying that birthing babies was women's work and that he'd need to wait outside until the child had appeared. It was now mid-afternoon, and the sick feeling of impotence crawling through his gut had intensified until he wasn't sure he could stand it another moment.

A minute later another scream came from beyond the closed door; this one wasn't just a wordless shriek, but sounded suspiciously like, "Thomas!" The midwife and her propriety be damned, Thomas thought savagely as he wrenched open the door, nothing can keep me from Edith now!

As he'd expected, the older woman exclaimed in shock as Thomas rushed over to Edith and took her hand. "Sir, I must ask you to please leave! It is highly inappropriate for a man to attend his wife's birth - you'll only be in the way!"

The grateful look Edith gave him as she squeezed his hand back as hard as she could neatly did away with any vestiges of guilt Thomas may have felt for going against the midwife's wishes. Through clenched teeth, he hissed, "Madam, I have attended a birth before, I will not be in the way. My wife needs me, and here I shall stay!"

The scandalized noise the woman let out at his words was drowned out by another scream from Edith. She looked a mess - her hair was tangled and splayed out over the pillows, sweat ran in rivulets down her face and caused her thin shift to stick to her bosom, and her face was red with effort. However, Thomas thought she was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. "You're doing so well, love," he crooned, "the babe will be here soon!"

"I'm glad you're with me," Edith whispered, exhaustedly. "I feel as though I can do this now you're here!" She broke off into a strangled moan as another contraction came, and Thomas tried to look as reassuring as possible - although he wasn't sure he was managing it as well as he'd like.

The midwife was obviously still peeved at Thomas's presence, but his words and stance must have been enough to dissuade her from making another attempt at urging him to leave. Instead, she peered under Edith's shift after the next contraction, and declared, "The child's almost ready to come out now. When the next pain comes, I want you to push with everything you've got!"

The next twenty minutes were agonizing, as Edith pushed and pushed without any results. She was crying in frustration and gripping her husband's hand with a crushing squeeze, and Thomas could feel his fears rising sharply. Why isn't the babe coming? Is something wrong? God, please…let everything be alright! I can't lose her, or the child!

"You're almost there, lass," the midwife's no-nonsense voice cut into his thoughts, "again, with all your might! Push!"

Edith screamed and pushed through another contraction, and the midwife declared, "That's it! I can see the head! Keep going!"

Thomas's gaze, which had so far been focused solely on Edith's face, moved down to between her legs - and at the next push, he saw the child's head emerge. "One more push!" the midwife encouraged, and sure enough, with another mighty scream from his wife the baby fully appeared.

"You did it! You did it, love!" Thomas choked out, realizing only after he felt a splash on his hand that he was weeping.

"You have a daughter!" the midwife exclaimed, quickly wrapping the girl in a cloth before plopping the wet, wriggling newborn onto Edith's chest. "Give one more little push for the afterbirth - yes, that's it, you're all done now."

"Oh, Thomas, she's beautiful," Edith breathed, gazing at the lustily crying child with wonder in her eyes. Thomas found himself unable to talk and simply nodded instead, his throat constricting as he stroked his daughter's sticky, dark head. The child was perfectly formed, having none of the physical imperfections that had plagued Edward, and a wave of blessed relief crashed over him - at least this child wouldn't be doomed from the start!

"We love you, little one," Edith crooned, still talking to the babe, "your father and I are so happy you're finally here!" She continued murmuring soothing words to the still squalling child, and Thomas sniffed and dashed away the rest of his tears. He knew he was grinning like a fool, but didn't care - he was so elated he felt as though he could walk on clouds!

Over the past several months they'd discussed a variety of potential names for their child. For a girl, Edith had wanted her mother's name to be the middle, and Thomas readily agreed. However, they hadn't been able to find the perfect first name to suit for the longest time, and they'd nearly despaired of ever settling on one - until Thomas suggested "Valerie," meaning "strength." They both agreed it was the ideal moniker, signifying all they'd overcome in their relationship and their hopes for the future of their family.

Edith finally turned her face to his, matching his radiant expression. "She's Valerie, Thomas! Valerie Florence Sharpe. She's strong and healthy, just as you knew she'd be! And she's ours!"

Late that evening, after the midwife, her assistant, and even Mrs. Barrow had departed, Thomas and Edith lay together in the freshly made bed. Edith's head was pillowed on his shoulder, and they both gazed down at Valerie's small form, currently fast asleep cradled in the crook of Thomas's arm.

"This is everything I've ever dreamed of," Thomas said softly, trying not to wake the newborn. "Being here with you, with her…I still can't believe this is real."

"It's a beautiful dream, Thomas, and the best part is…we don't ever have to wake," Edith replied contentedly.

Neither of them said anything else for a long while, content to simply drink in the sweetness of their situation. Edith had almost drifted off to sleep when Thomas suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! I forgot!"

"What is it, love?"

Shifting to one side, Thomas awkwardly reached into his trouser pocket with the arm not currently occupied with a sleeping baby. He withdrew a letter and held it out. "This came for you this morning, but you were otherwise…occupied, at the time," he chuckled.

Edith drew in a sharp breath as she opened the missive and read the contents.

Dear Madam Sharpe,

I am pleased to inform you that we have accepted your novel, Crimson Peak, for publishing on a preliminary basis.

I would like to arrange a meeting with you to go over the particulars of your contract. Please reply at your earliest convenience and let us know your availability in the next few weeks.

Looking forward to working with you,

Edgar A. Johnson

Angus & Robertson Publishing

89 Castlereagh Street, Sydney

A wide grin spread across Edith's face, and she let out a girlish squeal. "They accepted it! They really accepted it! I'm going to be a published author!"

"Shh!" Thomas cautioned, though his face reflected her excitement, "don't wake her!" Valerie stirred briefly, but thankfully remained slumbering.

"This is simply one of the best days of my life!" Edith declared dramatically (though in a much quieter voice), all her former somnolence forgotten.

"I'm so proud of you, Edith," Thomas replied, pulling her into his embrace again. "This is what you've always wanted, and I knew you could do it!"

"Oh my - now I have to find a time to meet with the publisher! And with a new baby too…do you think they'd mind if Valerie came? But then what if she cries? Should I leave her with Mrs. Barrow? But then what if she needs to eat?"

Thomas silenced Edith by placing a gentle finger on her lips. "We don't have to figure it out now, love - let's worry about the details later. Things have a curious way of working out for the best where you're concerned, and I have no doubt that'll be the case here, too."

"You're right, of course," Edith sighed, relaxing into Thomas's shoulder as exhaustion took hold of her again. "There'll be plenty of time to think about it tomorrow. For now, all I want to focus on is you and Valerie. My husband, and my daughter…our family."

I thought storybook endings didn't happen in real life, and I wasn't sure I'd even want to have one myself, she thought, a small smile on her face. I've never been so glad to be proven wrong!