Total Drama Ultimate: Islands!
Episode 20: Thursday's Throwback
Part 1: Running Roast Turkeys!
We've got one massive throwback in the form of this massive challenge that may or may not have a similar format to the Smash Bros deal, but it's a bit different!
Total Drama Action, in spite of its lesser moments, is actually very good and so are the challenges and as much as I'd like go on a long diatribe about the season's higher points (Beth, Tyler, Izzy, Owen and Duncan deserve some major mentions), the challenges are the only things returning from Action, really.
The contestants, though? Expect some cameos, is all I'm saying in this episode chock full of Total Drama action (ow.)
"Last time on Total Drama, our contestants dressed up as their favourite fighting fellows and went into fake arenas to beat each other's faces for their teams! Including a familiar face and an intern, somehow."
"Some got completely blown up! Some campers got bonked out of a win! And some were real mad and fought real wild for their teams! But in the end, the chillest team took home the gold! The Chill Capybaras won and the Fiery Foxes literally exploded their safety away!"
"Someone had to take the fall...four someones specifically and we had to say goodbye to Noah, Satori, Penny and Darkness as they got knocked out of the game!"
"Four people have gone and four more will go today! So, expect some Action, some drama and even a little bit of the time in the studio and who's going to provide the best comedy today...in Total Drama: Ultimate Islands!"
Early in the morning, Alastor was doing his thing of fucking around and not finding out, as he had a concoction of very refreshing water, Super Crown juices and...a random lemon on top.
Since he essentially didn't have to help out the old man that tried to dismiss him, he definitely had to mess with him...and nobody was none the wiser because he wasn't tired.
However, though he was not seen doing it, it had a much funnier effect than he really expected mostly down to the classic gag of four people being dumbasses...and Mr. Smee was the first one.
"Cap'n, I'm sorry that but I have to do!" Smee just drank half of the glass like he was half asleep. "Do what?! I don't care that I forgot, I just want to motivate you into stealing Peter Pan..."
"Dude, shut up, you've got boobs." Lowain was clearly half-awake. "Also, what I am doing?"
"Wait, you weren't supposed to..."
Smee finally woke up from Lowain slapping his face and decided on one thing as he was looking at an old lady's somewhat thicc physique.
"...Is this what double-dreaming is?" Smee asked, feeling...her breasts up.
"YO, YO, STOP! Yeah, you're dreaming, my dude." Lowain shouted, as Smee just went back to sleep...on the floor. "...This is going to get dumber isn't it?"
An hour later, where more people had woken up, but not most of the contestants, there was certain a trio that was having trouble with each other or two people that forced a third person to go along.
Lowain was the third person, somehow.
"Honestly, I know you're mad about me winning in the best way possible. Literally kicked butts in dodgeball and did some stuff with my friends that I don't regret." Dante remarked with a smug grin.
"Am I really?" Coachman was somehow right behind Dante. "I'm rather impressed that you have your stuff together."
"Nice compliment, damn!"
Dante then just went to side down on the table with the very alcholic drink that was already set up, as the demon hunter noticed a little something.
"Okay, Chris, this is very funny I promise you." Dante sarcastically remarked, as Bayonetta had quite the suspicion on that random drink. "Either that or you decided to get for your biggest guy!"
"Hahaha, you're seriously considering drinking this? Fancy me." Coachman grinned, as he also picked the other cup of the drink.
Dante just gulped it down whole, seeing as Chris was just an fairly big asshole instead of a gigantic one that inhabited several other season and the other teammates that were awake...noticed the drink doing one thing to him.
"Dude, don't do it!" JFK shouted.
"Why would do that? Chris is always up to no good!" Rock shouted at the two of them. "Also, Dante, you look pretty good."
"Er-uh, yeah, but I know the crown turns him into a pretty lady, so..." JFK's brain was practically on overtime. "...hey, pretty lady."
"No, JFK, Dante's still a man...whoa, this is messed up."
...I can't even justify this, it's just a weird comedy skit, but hey, Dante and Coachman aren't hating each other, JFK and Rock are just there, trying to figure out what was going on and Lowain didn't say a single word.
Long story short, Super Crown makes people super frown.
*Lowain's confessional*
The fox guy had a few frustrations with the gods(?)
"Bro, who wrote this! This is just dumb in the best way, my homies could write a better set of bars...and that's if they're wasted...those guys sober would kill the writing game!" Lowain declared. "Like on it."
*Confessional cut*
And that was why Azula was questioning every one of her life choices, as she entered the room to encounter that along with Nicole, Yumeko, Kyo, Luigi and a few others weren't sure of the spectacle that led up to the spectacular moment.
Dante and Coachman actually weren't Super Crown'd at this point, as the saga was finally over and Deadpool may or may not have helped...and the duo were asleep.
"...This thing makes me smile." Azula remarked. "Clearly, a very good reason for why I should be team leader. You really drank-"
"No-one cares, lady! We're just wondering what could have led up to this." Nobara agressively said.
"Stupid things, obviously."
"What stupid things is what I'm asking!"
Lowain was just shrugging.
"Those two drunk some suspicious drink and then they turned into women, like it was a whole thing and Deadpool somehow stopped it with two bonks that knocked them out." Lowain explained. "Not joking."
Nobara was very dumbfounded, Yumeko was actually not surprised and Azula had a very good arguement for being a potential team captain, in spite of her villainy and power hungriness.
"It was 5am, though. Stuff goes down at 5am." Lowain remarked.
"Does it really matter, though? If your judgement is bad enough to misjudge an obvious assassination technique, then what's the point."
"...What do you mean assassin?" Lowain asked incredulously. "This is a reality show that turning into women is a thing! Regular thing, too."
"That's what I meant." Azula finished up her words. "The type of judgement to think that turning into women is a power is questionable."
"...OK."
Lowain just wanted to not analyse what Azula was cooking, as the Firebender literally had much better things to do, as Dante and Coachman slowly woke back up.
"If you want, you could tell them that I'm in the toilet." Azula answered. "They'd somehow believe it."
"No, they wouldn't!" Nobara then paused her own thoughts. "...I'm still not on the team, so I do not care!"
A bit later, Yumeko, Azula, Nicole and Iori were doing a whole thing...that was practically a whole different alliance without the two desperate men that somehow made the alliance not work.
Iori was mad, but since he was on this show, he wasn't not going to be angered by any move, as these four were up on the chill side of Pahkitew...that was somehow very hidden to both Pinstripe and Coachman.
"Wait, are you just going to start this without the old man? Awesome." Iori grinned angrily.
"Anyways, we actually need a major plan to carry us through the rest of the competition...as the Mario Party challenge showed us, literally any well-laid plan can get blown up by stupidity." Azula answered.
"Oh shit, yeah, Yumeko was the stupidity." Iori remarked.
"...That is true, unfortunately." Azula remarked, as Yumeko genuinely chuckled. "But we do need is second life of information, obviously! Sokka's here and unfortunately, Nicole isn't the best source of information."
"I'm sorry that 'my team's sorta in shambles despite winning because Samus, Aisling and Tanya decided that being mad is better than being good' isn't useful information." Nicole answered, as Yumeko was looking at people.
"It is, but it's not exactly game-controlling information."
Azula then took a breath.
"But someone here does have the ability to control the game through the power of mind and money." Azula then pointed to Yumeko. "...You'll do."
"Oh, what I can do for this alliance? Sorry for the moves with Coachman." Yumeko stood up with a sincere smile. "But I do have a way better idea!"
Iori and Nicole definitely raised an eyebrow, as the latter knew that she was...full of wacky ideas that may or may not have involved gambling.
"Lowain would definitely be a reliable source for information, mostly because he's actually very connected to the leaders of the team...and still apparently is." Yumeko said.
"I don't think Lowain should be our first option...why not people like Tanjiro, Snake, Samus or Tanya? Much better options, even." Iori had to contribute angrily. "Lowain's some party boy."
"Tanjiro would smell that from a mile away, Snake's probably seen something like this before, Samus is angry and would be suspicious and Tanya's actually gunning for Coachman." Yumeko just answered like she didn't just plainly shock Azula with the answer. "Lowain's literally is just a medieval surfer."
Azula looked at the gambling girl seriously, as Iori just grinned at the appearance of a new dumbass in the crew and Nicole was surprised at how astute Yumeko was.
"...I did become the very top of Hyakkou Academy after all, so I do think Lowain's a good choice." Yumeko said.
"You did not need to say that, those two just didn't understand." Azula answered, as Nicole and Iori got slightly offended...Azula's devious smile beamed through.
"What are you talking about, that makes an absurd amount of sense!" Nicole shouted. "Iori was the shouty one."
"Hey, hey, hey, shut up-"
"Let's just stop this meeting before Coachman realises that he's not even in this one!" Azula declared, as the rest of them nodded. "But he is not welcome here!"
"Yeah." Yumeko was estatic.
"Yep." Iori grumbled.
*Yumeko's confessional*
The black-haired gambling girl was looking ready to her favourite thing.
"Well, the easy part is getting Lowain to actually be part of the friendship scheme I'm pulling and to get him to be friends with me, but the hard part is making both Coachman and Lowain not hate each other. Coachman's got a knack for making people become haters of sorts...so, wait, what is he doing?"
*Confessional interrupted*
Coachman and Pinstripe was shooting that same 'ol Tommy gun at a bunch of rocks, realising the obvious power of it and they both chuckled, definitely not bitter at all.
"Who needs them anyways?" Coachman asked. "If they're going to abandon me like that, why should I be with them?"
"Because youse the most hated man on the man! Seriously, stop going after Dante and start going after Basil or something!" Pinstripe complained. "...It's a bad sign when your alliance doesn't want to be around you."
"How do you know it's not because I was knocked out."
Pinstripe sighed.
"Exactly, so don't assume."
*Confessional continued*
There was a random gap in Yumeko's thinking.
"...Probably something stupid."
*Confessional cut*
In the cave of guns and other stuff, Coachman and Pinstripe were just sitting down wondering...what the fuck is going on on this fine day in July and what did it have to do with the alliance just up and leaving.
Mostly because of Azula and Yumeko looking at each other with a serious grin and Iori just looking at him seriously.
"Well, what did I miss?" Coachman agnrily asked. "What was the important information?"
"Uh, I have a plan that only involves me and someone else on the Capybaras, is that enough for you?" Yumeko answered honestly.
"...Yes." Coachman looked like he could not be bothered.
"Good, we're going to do some more gambling with random people?" Yumeko then saw Azula just fly back to he cabin. "You want to gamble with random people?"
"No."
Pinstripe just sighed in relief, as Yumeko and Azula went...somewhere and the two old boys were ready to do some more moves without the rest of the alliance, sans Iori and Kyo who were doing their thing in the caves.
Both of the men didn't talk for a good fifteen seconds, as Kyo and Iori were lighting up the cave in the background, the mobster reflecting on his time in this hodgepodge of an alliance and the donkey trader figuring out how to deal with Dante.
And once the fifteen seconds were up.
"I'm pretty sure that Yumeko somehow made it a trap." Pinstripe said.
"Not exactly. I'm still here and to be honest, I've got something much better than being in some rinky-dinky alliance that's controlled by a 14-year old." Coachman genuinely offered.
"...Go on. Just be careful of Iori."
The two of them got real close to each other, ensuring that it was quiet.
"...An alliance with me as the leader, you as my right-hand man and an alliance that has eliminated a strong player on the other team. That's it." Coachman explained with a smug grin. "So that we will survive."
"Got it." Pinstripe asked. "Actually, what about Iori? Dude just wants to beat Kyo's ass."
"...I don't know, five should be more than enough and Iori's practically a jackass already!" Coachman chuckled. "Now, let's get back to doing what we do best!"
"Yes."
While Kyo and Iori were just there taking a quick breather, the two older guys were back to wondering what to do about their random-ass rock collection and how they were going to put it for a plan.
*Kyo's confessional*
He was smirking.
"Can't believe the old man think he's going to make this thing better...or not. Couldn't exactly tell, but some nasty stuff's probably being said."
*Confessional cut*
Kyo took a look at Coachman, who didn't even notice, as Iori Yagami was a bit more mad about him being ignored for some creepy old dude.
"You're with that guy?"
"Yeah, what's it to ya?"
The two took a few seconds to answer, as they were still mad.
"Screw you, buddy, I'm in a way better alliance! And I have a girlfriend who likes my poetry." Kyo remarked. "Seriously, the only reason that you're still here is probably because you got lucky apparently."
Iori just scoffed at his remark.
"Dude, what about you? Literally nobody noticed your dumb ass not doing that much and plus you're in alliance that literally has one half of the main guys eliminated. Noah's good, so that must suck."
The duo were just looking at each other, ready to put in the next section of pounding that happened in more KOFs than anyone could count, 15 to be exact.
And then charged up their own fiery energies, the flames starting to appear on their hands and on the ground that was surrounding them, preparing their best projectile.
Kyo let it rip before Iori did, but the fireballs were practically going the same speed on the ground and they moved fast, so of course, it had to have another abrupt ending.
"Ooooh, campers! Me and some old friends got together for today's challenge! Get ready for some action!"
The fireballs didn't stop for any announcement, since the two rivals were smoked up at the moment inside a cave.
*Iori's confessional*
The redhead rocker was mad(der) again.
"I swear, this host's very close to being on the list that lets me hate him with no problem...along with Coachman, Kyo, Yuri, JFK, Yumeko, whoever those other guys that got eliminated before todays are! It's a long list, but Chris should be on it!"
*Confessional cut*
Mai, Uraraka and Mystique Sonia may have looked like a weird bunch of ladies, but twenty episodes in, it was practically normal compared to the several set of weirdos.
But there was only 60 people left and in seven or eight episodes, 32 will remain and uh, alliances were not on short supply, but they were just hanging out.
"Wait, you really beat up that ugly guy?" Mai asked. "Or did a friend help you out."
"Uh, it was a classmate of mine. His name's Izuku Midoriya." Uraraka blushed. "He's the one that beat up that ugly guy."
"Cool...you like him, don't you?"
"...Yes. I didn't want to tell more people!"
"More-" Mystique Sonia then just looked at Mai. "-oh, sorry!"
"Eh, don't worry about it. I don't have a crush!" Mystique Sonia remarked, as Mai wiped her brow.
The sixty people were just now in the middle of a random field, as they stopped talking with Chris' own signal and they realised what the challenge was when someone stepped out.
Or didn't, as Chris basically stopped them from coming out.
"You guys remember Total Drama Action? Awesome drama, awesome challenges and a bunch of weird stuff...like this season, but less big!"
There was more than a few cheers in the crowd, but there wasn't that much excitement within the super-group, mostly due to the Leshawna factor.
"Alright, we're going on a reminicing tour featuring your favourite faces and challenges! All you dudes have to do is finish challenges and your team wins...simple as that!"
"Yeah, that sounds weirdly simple. Where's the twist, the kasbah, the six-niner?" Deadpool asked. "There has to be something spicy coming up?"
"There is, Deadpool! Four of you will be free to do any challenge and the rest will be locked in the challenges in pairs from your team! That spicy enough!"
"Uh, yes! Knock me out, baby!" Deadpool exclaimed.
"Uh, how about no? That's crazy, how are you going to do that?" Uraraka asked.
"Easy, wait here!"
Deadpool couldn't have been more excited for the knockout gas, as Uraraka was scared and Rapunzel handled her pan like she was about to knock out the host.
Chris had been gone for more than twenty seconds, when a good chunk of the contestants decided to let up on their defense.
"Is Chris bluffing or something? Chris would definitely pull a bluff." Samus said.
"Doubt it, Sammy! We've just gotta keep our mouths-" Snake was covering his mouth.
That didn't stop him or his girlfriend from getting hit by a tranquilzer dart, along with a few others that would survive the knockout gas by instinct or genetics.
Either way, 60 people were very sleepy...
...sleeping through the pick-up process.
...sleeping towards the actual start of the challenge.
When Deadpool and three other people awoke, they were at the very beginning of the next challenge, ready to do some cool business and some of that good shit included figuring out who else was with him.
"I don't know about you, but this looks like a film studio!" Deadpool exclaimed. "My third movie's gonna come out in two years, incase you wanted to know."
"Bro, I don't care about your movie thing. I just wanna figure out how we're gonna have some fun here!" The second guy said, a bit more excited...with his furry ears and blonde hair.
It was the Medieval Dudebro, Lowain.
"Easy, we do all of the craziest stuff as potential homies!"
"Brah, I've gotta be pragmatic or else, I'm in the elimination zone!"
Deadpool did a serious look, as Lowain didn't really know what the look was.
Third person just threw his clackers out of nowhere, as he bounced back up with a anger.
"I'm going to get this Chris fella! Anyways, what's up, Lowain?" Joseph Joestar was back in business and was understandably glaring at Deadpool.
"Nothing much just hanging out with an enemy teammate." Lowain cracked his knuckles. "Besides I'm not gonna sugarcoat it."
"Yeah, stay away, I've fought vampires before!" Joseph was preparing another one of his clackers, this time rippling with energy.
"Now that's someone that I want to hang out with, but I've gotta get back to my teammates!" Deadpool shouted. "If we're on the same team, give me some memes!"
Lowain and Joseph just shrugged at the weird superhero leaving with a message to bring some memes, as Deadpool was wildly running towards whoever was going to be his teammate.
Or running randomly, but the next person practically ran off Deadpool's logic was the gambling girl, the girl that somehow found the first challenge and the girl that was looking at...whatever was going on with the monster.
"Oh shit, Yumeko, what up?" Deadpool asked.
"Nothing much, just waiting for you and someone else." Yumeko answered. "But mostly you because this challenge is quite the gamble."
"You say that for everything besides strip random gamble and throwing rocks."
"Oh, you know..."
While Deadpool and Yumeko was having a conversation about...gambling, the first challenge was definitely working, as the two captured contestants from each team were just sitting there casually, being "ravaged" by Izzy controlling the monster suit.
It was an obvious expy of the Monster Cash challenge minus the buildings that would cost too much to set-up, as Izzy was controlling the monster that was sending trees to the ground.
Joseph and Lowain finally caught up, as the two Foxes finally stopped their talk and got ready to hear the conditions that Izzy brung, as Izzy stopped and slowly turned the bootleg Godzilla around.
"Hey, you wanna get these guys!"
Bayonetta, Mikasa, Tails and Sakura were all (badly) pretending to not untie themselves, as Izzy was stomping around and generally making a big scene.
"If you beat me, then these guys will be free!" Izzy shouted...from the controls.
"Okay." Deadpool remarked, pulling out a bunch of pop guns.
"Then that's easy." Joseph had a reason to throw the clackers.
Why was that important for Izzy to be there?
The projectiles were just flying at light speed towards the controls and specifically the off switch and unlike any other joke, the projectiles not only hit the off switch, but the self-destruct button.
Hilariously, Izzy was far out of there, practically watching the thing...spark electricity, as the other four simulteanously got freed by...corks, clackers and amazing programming that allowed the four to be eight people.
"Oh no, Izz-zilla, you won't have died in vain!" Izzy shouted, as the bootleg monster just blew up...with soot in it. "Oh, I thought it was going to die."
*Yumeko's confessional*
The gambling girl had the thought of a lot of people on her mind.
"I can't believe that just happened and no-one thought that it was a little ridiculous that Izzy just let it happen! This show's honestly incredible!" Yumeko was just wowed by the biazzre-ness of the first mini-challenge.
*Mikasa's confessional*
The titan slayer had some words for this.
"All of the equipment to capture his fellow military people and all it took was one man's clackers to destroy that machine. Finally, Chris gets sloppy!"
*Confessional cut*
Izzy was there, definitely doing some fuckery with the machine, as the four members each of the two teams weren't sitting around to watch the crazy girl do her business.
Which included extracting some rare metal out of the shoddy monster that was lying down on the ground and covered with soot and it was gold.
"GOLD! Who put this thing in here because I'm outta here!"
The two teams' four members each split up to have a relatively good time in the middle of Pahkitew's lowland forest...well, relative is a good term for some of the players.
Because Mikasa was not having this conversation.
"Let me teach you the Hadouken because you look like you need it!" Sakura exclaimed.
"Yeah, it's going to be a hard one. Never went wrong with the Glock and the machine gun!" Deadpool shouted. "And I saw it a bunch of times."
"Really...then why's the energy not coming out?" Sakura said.
"Because I'm too funny for the Hadouken!" Deadpool just formed the motion for it. "I got attacks up the butt and I got the words to back it up!"
"Oh, what! You're just talking big 'cause you're always talking!"
"Well, yeah-"
"Have you seen him this season!" Mikasa yelled, clearly too tired to give a shit about Deadpool's everything. "Yeah, he keeps real quiet when he's not around."
"I was not written to be a quiet boy, but I wasn't written really at all!" Deadpool proclaimed, as Mikasa just didn't understand him.
It would be a weird to cut off the part here.
"Okay, so, the campers are starting to find each other and this is a weird way to have a break, but trust me, this challenge is going to be more fun than that monster flop...after the break!" Chris just had to transition into a break.
To be continued in the second part, where the title continues to show up throughout this entire thing and I'm not willing to explain why it does other than there's going to be more than a few faces that are supposed to show up!
16 (or more) challenges set up with our 52 remaining contestants shored up either inside them or locked behind them, as Lowain, Yumeko, Joseph, Deadpool, Bayonetta, Mikasa, Tails and Sakura try to win the challenge for their team!
Even if they're not sure what the challenge is...other than to be part of another dangerous challenge showcase for what probably is the 20th time this season!
Also, Courtney.
Yeah.