Author's Notes: So... we've reached October... Let's celebrate with another Lucy chapter bwahaha!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Loud House, the brand, as well as all of its characters and settings belong to Chris Savino and Nickelodeon, all rights reserved.
Chapter 65: Night.
Lucy's P.O.V:
.
"Filled with Gluttonous eagerness
Subtlety denied due to Sloth
Greedily accepting their darkness
Envious, for the freedom of a goth"
.
"They lose their will to trust
They await for the night
For when it comes to Lust
Nothing else feels right"
.
This is me, again, in the corner of my dark coffin, writing this piece of revolting literature, only for the remaining passion behind this dive of degeneracy to fade away by the second.
My name is Lucy Loud, I knowingly supported the relationship between my brother and one of my younger sisters, my relentless thrill for the dark and the forbidden, my unfulfilled desires of an impossible deeper connection with said brother, they all lead to this, I am to blame, I know.
My family is decaying again, Lori's efforts to fix it, to fix them, were not only in bane, they were a trigger, like a drug, only… worse.
They created a false sense of peace, an illusion of hope, we all played along, not because we believed her, but because we wanted to pretend that everything would get better.
But then she left, Leni, Luna and Luan also left again, to their happy, independent lives, leaving the people stuck in this house to face reality again.
Still in continuous harassment, getting vandalized by people completely external from our lives, the internet and the "fangirl" culture does not forgive, does not forget, the man that I was once forced to spy, fortunately, proved to be an exception, but even then, the hatred wouldn't stop.
Lynn is gone, Lana is gone too, everywhere but physically, Mom and Dad continue living In denial, Lily is… hard to read, but her energy is gone as well.
Lincoln and Lola…
I'm currently writing, it's the only thing I can do, the warnings from the past proved to be useless, because I tried with subtlety and reservation, so once again, I'm cornered, my writing has hit a dangerous block and I'll need to be more direct.
But I'm exhausted, I can't do this battle anymore, I may have to admit defeat, I've been put on the spot, insulted, denigrated, judged and accused, almost as much as them.
I'm an enabler.
I'm a rat.
I have endured the death stares of Lana for far too long, it's been 4 months since my eldest sister's wedding, tomorrow is Lincoln's birthday, and I can't avoid this foreboding, inescapable dread, a primal fear for finalization, the expectant anticipation for everything to go downhill.
And it only takes simple observation skills to know why.
During the day, he is perfectly normal, the kind, supportive brother that we all remembered, ready to start a conversation with his dad, ready to assist Lily with her homework, ready to interact with Lisa and to help me with my poems, ready to perform magic tricks, he even seems to have taken a more "body positive" approach, going to the gym, lifting weights and going on walks.
He's… back… and better than ever… right?
During the night, he doesn't exist for us anymore, nobody cares, a mutual, silent agreement was reached, but no one is fully aware of it; Mom and dad never check upstairs, it would be to respect their privacy, a normal person would assume, as Lori told them.
But I know better, they don't want to check, what little stability is left in the family, they want to hold on to it.
Lana stopped caring altogether, Lisa's "professional approach" made it impossible for her to intervene, and Lily is being censored on all fronts, which means that the road is free.
During the night, Lincoln belongs to Lola only.
And the princess's performance is quite impressive as well, during the day, she's just as kind and attentive as her brother, and she's not exclusive, she's open at hanging around with everyone else in the house (safe for Lana), she has been shown to ace her studying regime while also proving herself even more successful at her pageants.
During the night, Lola belongs to Lincoln only.
Their recent success is tied to each other only, I know, I can feel it, their bond is the basis for them trying harder; together, they can feel like clearing every obstacle there is, I know that powerful drive, the love for each other is not a bad thing, a part of me wants me to remember that.
But their loneliness is palpable, they act like they love us, but they fear us, they no longer trust us, they no longer trust anyone, I can also understand that.
Transforming that frustration into the objectifying vile desire to perform the forbidden act, even at the clear knowledge of those who live nearby, without care for the world, without awareness of their surroundings, focusing exclusively into each other, is not something that I can understand.
They know what they have gone through, they understand the rejection, the destruction of the family core, the hatred and the pain that can come from being caught in the forbidden act again, yet… They keep doing it, every, single, night.
Subtlety is dead, their actions feel daring, almost, taunting of fate, obfuscating the truth in their surroundings, embracing the escapism of pleasure, hiding beneath a cover of safety: that room.
The room that has also become a jail for them, covering them from the temptation of a freedom that they cannot have, like a dark cave that provides warmth and creates and illusion of peace.
But once said illusion is gone, once our parents grow curious once again, they only need to walk upstairs once, and darkness will reign, this time for good.
And tomorrow, they are going to be given several reasons to spike their curiosity again…
*Beep*
Finally, it's time, this is it, the last action I will do to help them, I know I cannot control anything else from this point, for once, in these last draining 4 years, I'll hide again in the shadows, exclusively observant, not to be disturbed again.
*Hello Lucy, I have the bloody concoction with phosphorescent glitter ready, shall we se each other tomorrow?*
11:25PM
*May the souls of the departed assist me in my eternal gratefulness to you, Haiku, yes, we may see each other tomorrow*
11:25PM
*No problem Lucy, I wouldn't hesitate to assist a fellow mortician with further inquiries*
11:27PM
*Although, I have a question, if you would be so kind to clarify to me?*
11:28PM
*Anything, friend?*
11:28PM
*Why the strawberry flavor?*
11:30PM