Two months later….
'Mac, I'm home.' Harm put his cover on the hook by the door and pulled off his shoes. There was no response from in the house, but he could smell food, so his wife must be home.
His wife. He smiled. Six months and he was still so grateful he could call her that.
'Mac?' He wandered into the living area. Mac's back was to him. Her hair was longer now, and it hung down past her shoulder blades. She was looking out the ranch slider, but she stood rigidly. One hand was gripping the opposite bicep, and she held her phone in her other hand.
'Honey?'
She started and turned to him. 'Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn't hear you come in.' She smiled, but it wasn't her real one, and she didn't come to him for a kiss like she usually did.
'What's wrong, Mac?'
She forced another smile. 'I'm fine. Just distracted. Dinner should be ready soon.'
She wasn't fine, but Harm let it slide. He watched her throughout dinner, and as they did the cleanup, and she just wasn't herself.
Who had been on the phone?
He walked into their bedroom looking for a comfy hoodie. Usually after dinner they'd go for a walk if the weather was nice, or if it was cold, like tonight, they'd watch TV together. 'Mac, have you seen my — Mac?'
She was sitting in a ball on their bed, her arms on her drawn-up knees, crying into her jeans.
'Mac, sweetheart.' He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. He thought she might pull away, but she let herself be held. He cradled her head and told her he loved her, that whatever it was, it would all be okay.
He hadn't seen her cry like this since before they were married.
He felt her starting to calm down. He just kept holding her, waiting for her to talk to him. After a while, her small voice said, 'I'm sorry.'
'Oh, Mac, don't be. Please just talk to me. What's wrong?'
She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She brushed her hair impatiently from her face, and Harm gently pulled it back into a ponytail. She sighed and laid her head back on his shoulder. 'I had two phone calls today.'
'Okay, from who?'
'The first was from General Rutledge. They want me back on duty, temporarily. There's a situation in the Middle East and they need a legal expert who can speak Farsi. They want me to report to duty in two days' time.'
Harm felt a stab of worry. The Middle East was not a safe place right now, especially for American military personnel. But this was who they were, so he pushed it down. 'And the second?'
'My doctor.' Her voice broke, and she paused for a minute. 'They found something in my check-up last week. They think my endometriosis could be getting worse and I need to go back in for more tests and maybe exploratory surgery.'
'Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.' Harm kissed her hair. 'But even if it has, it won't be serious, right? They'll be able to fix it?'
'It won't be serious for me. They can stop it before it does any life-threatening damage.' She looked up at him then, and her chin quivered. 'But it means it is probably impossible now for me to have a baby.'
A tear rolled down her cheek, and he caught it with a gentle finger. 'I know the odds were slim, Harm. I know what they told me about having a baby. But I never stopped hoping that we would somehow get there. That I could give you a baby.' Another tear escaped. 'I thought maybe after leaving the Corps, that with less stress, if I ate right and tried fertility treatment…' She shook her head. 'But it seems like that's been lost now. And even if it hasn't, there's a chance they'll have to do a hysterectomy. And that will make it final.'
'Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.' He held her close and rubbed her back. She rested against him. He was grieving too, because he'd also held onto hope. But he wouldn't show her. Not now while it was so raw. He'd take care of her first.
She'd wept against his shoulder, and then she'd dried her eyes, and tried to smile, and told him she loved him. She loved him more than anything, and she'd be okay if they never had a baby of their own.
Harm had promised her that he didn't need a baby to be happy, as long as he had her. And it was the truth. But he felt her grief as well as her own. He kept it under wraps, because he couldn't bear for her to think he was unhappy with her for not being able to have children, or that he somehow resented her.
It wasn't until two days later, after dropping Mac off at the airport to catch her transport to the USS Guadalcanal and then on to the war zone, that the tears fell onto the steering wheel.