Chapter 12

WARNING- THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS SELF HARM AND ABUSE, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS MAY UPSET OR TRIGGER YOU IN AN WAY

I have suffered with self harming before not long ago, and please if you or any of your friends/family are going through it, get help and just remember it DOES get better and you're not alone. I'm always here if you need any help I'll understand xx

Disclaimer- I do not own 'Twilight' or any of the other books written by Stephanie Meyer. All characters mentioned in this fanfic belong to the wonderful author and not me (although I wish Jacob aka Taylor Lautner belonged to me )

This story is set in New Moon, just after Edward left Bella and she is depressed and lonely.

Edward's POV

I can't believe it, after all this time, I'm in the same room as Bella, as soon as I saw her lying there in that hospital bed I forgot the reason I ever left, she makes me feel the exact same love and protectiveness for her I always did. It makes me sad and angry at myself that I was so far away from her whilst she's been having such a hard time. The least I can do is stay here in Forks for a bit longer to make sure she's ok, oh who am I kidding? I never want to let her out my sight again in case something bad will happen to her and I won't be able to bear it. Although I doubt that idiot wolf will let me anywhere near Bella with the way he keeps glaring at me across the room like it's all my fault, which I know part of it is, if I'd never have left her then maybe she wouldn't have gotten this bad but it's too late to dwell on that now.

"Visiting time is over now, Isabella needs her rest" the nurse says firmly, running her beady eyes over my family in curiosity as if wondering what the hell we were doing back here. That's the thing about most humans, they're so nosy it's ridiculous, they'll spend all their free time gossiping over something that has absolutely nothing to do with them just to distract themselves from their boring pointless lives. (bit harsh there Edward!)

We're all shooed out the room before the nurse shuts the door. Jacob gives me an icy look before leaving with his head down.

"so what now?" asks Rosalie, looking pointedly at me.

"I think we should stay in Forks for a while to make sure Bella's ok before we go and leave her again".

"But, Edward, I know you still have feelings for her but the whole point we moved away in the first place was to keep her safe, do you really want to come crashing back into her life again and disrupt everything?" Alice protests.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Jasper all nod their heads in agreement, but surprisingly Emmet stays quiet.

"Emmet?" Rosalie hisses, wondering why her other half isn't agreeing with her.

"I want to stay too, to check up on Bella, I don't want her to end up in the hospital again" Emmet answers determinedly.

"well, I'm not going anywhere without Emmet so I guess I'll have to stay too" Rosalie says moodily.

"why don't we all just stay then, the family sticking together?" Carlisle questions.

Esme, Alice and Jasper reluctantly agree although they don't look happy about it. I know they're just trying to look out for me and they don't think us staying here is helping either me or Bella but sometimes they really piss me off. I can make my own decisions, I don't need them telling me what to do all the time.

Although, deep down, I know that Bella being in trouble isn't the only reason why I want to stay in Forks, I don't want to be away from her anymore, those six long months dragged on forever and the whole time I had to force myself not to jump on a plane straight back to Forks and lift her up in my arms to never let her go again. But she probably doesn't want anything to do with me anymore anyway after everything that's happened and I can't blame her for that, I wouldn't even forgive myself.

Bella's POV

They discharged me from the hospital the day after and Jake dropped me outside the house.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" he asks worriedly.

"I'll be fine" I lie smiling.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow at mine, bye Bells."

"bye Jake".

I watch him drive off, waving as if I'm not about to have a panic attack just thinking about walking back into that house and having to face Charlie, who's more than likely drunk again. I brace myself before cautiously walking up the front steps and letting myself in with the key. I glance around nervously, before breathing out a sigh of relief. It'll be ok for now, the house is empty and there's no sign of him. I lock the door behind me and go upstairs to have a shower because I haven't had one in days as the nurses wouldn't let me because of my bandages. They're finally off though and I look down at my wrists, the healing cuts littered up them, the voice in my head telling me to do it again but I ignore it, not wanting to worry anyone like last time.

I hurry to get dressed, not wanting to look at the scars on my body for any longer than I have to because it always makes me hate myself even more seeing what I've done to my once perfect skin. I wish I could go back to being a child again, with no worries and Renee still being alive, having never met Charlie and never wanting to. Just me and my mom, always.

The door is slammed and I jump in shock, startled out of my thoughts. I hear Charlie's footsteps coming up the stairs and fear creeps up me like a snake until I can't breathe and my chest feels really tight.

"BELLA!" he yells, slurring his words.

Shit, he's been drinking a lot already and it's only early afternoon, that's never a good sign. I search frantically for a place to hide but my room is so cramped there isn't one. I feel sick as I watch him come into my room, stumbling.

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN THEN?" he shouts, anger written all over his face.

"nowhere.. I don't know what you mean", I stutter, cursing myself for such a pathetic excuse.

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME YOU STUPID BITCH".

I stand there, feeling my hands shaking as he comes towards me with that menacing glare he has when he drinks too much.

"YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR DAYS AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT, I KEPT COMING HOME FROM A LONG DAY AT WORK TO FIND THERE WAS NO FOOD ON THE TABLE!"

I just look at him, knowing that if I say anything, he won't like it and it'll only make the beating worse. I can't believe I was naïve enough to think I could be away for a couple of days and he wouldn't notice, he always notices. Especially when he's got back home and wants to take his anger out on someone, of course he'd come searching for me like he always does and when I wasn't there that'd only make him even more furious. And this'll never end, I can't get away from him because he'll come after me and if I tell someone other than Jacob, they'll never believe me anyway because he's such a 'hero' in Forks. I mean, everyone likes him, who will ever see him for the monster he is? The whole thing is hopeless, maybe I'd be better off dead. At least then he can't touch me and I'll be with Renee.

"YOU'RE AN UNGRATEFUL COW! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU, YOU JUST GO AND LEAVE ME? HOW DARE YOU, YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!"

Charlie undoes his belt from his trousers and brings it down hard on my face. The pain is unbearable and I cry in agony as he does it again and again and again. I curl up into a ball, trying to protect myself against his blows. He laughs cruelly, mocking me for being weak and drags me by the hair into my bedroom.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH IT, YOU WHORE! NO WONDER EDWARD LEFT YOU!" he slams the door shut behind me and I'm left lying on the floor, my face burning like it's on fire. I wipe away the tears and give into the tiredness I feel, there's no way I can bring myself to get into bed, my whole body aches too much. I fall asleep, dreaming of a way out of this pain and sadness, a way I can finally be free of him.

Hi, thankyou so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry if the last bit of the chapter was a bit too dark, I was just telling Bella's life how it really is. I'll try and update again soon let me know what you think :)