This is NOT the final chapter

Chapter thirty-Seven: Out Of Hiding

Quinn was pissed at herself. She stood in the bathroom staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes red and puffy from crying last night, she looked tired and worn out. Her hair was a tangled mess and when she moved her head to the side she noticed the fresh hickeys and bite marks on her neck. When she went to bed last night, she was still crying over her relationship with Alex. The fact that time and time again, she allowed Alex to disrespect her and her feelings in so many ways. She's been lied to, cheated on and dismissed far too many times. And the latest slap to the face happened when Alex went to see her ex-boyfriend behind her back.

Even though she said nothing happened between the two of them and Quinn did believe her, she still knew the real reason Alex went to see Kendal in the first place. Quinn was no dummy. She knew Alex still had a thing for her Kendal. Quinn also knows that Alex doesn't know how to be in a monogamous relationship. She tried, but she just loved too many people. Quinn believed that Alex loved her, but she just didn't know how to be in a relationship.

For years, Alex went from man to woman bed to bed, not being tied to anyone for more than a few weeks. And now here she was living with one woman, in a relationship with one woman. She was trying right? Maybe. But there was still the fact that no one knew about their relationship except friends, her sister and her sister's boyfriend. Quinn was still reduced to just a roommate to some. It broke her heart every time she had to pretend in front of Alex's family. Pretend and deny who she was. After years of being in the closet, afraid to come out, and then the elation she felt when she finally did come out. The pride, joy, and immediate release she felt. To now go back to pretending and hiding who she was again felt even worse than being cheated on.

Alex had a hold on her. Quinn loved her passionately, but she didn't know how much longer she could stay in this relationship. At some point she was going to have to admit that Alex was toxic for her and that maybe they were toxic for each other. Constantly yelling and arguing. They had good days and good sex, but lately the bad days were outweighing the good. Was it worth it anymore? Was this relationship worth the pain and hurt? Was it worth the look on her face now?

Last night Quinn was determined to keep her resolve and anger. Quinn knew that Alex used alcohol to coax a reunion out of her when she knew she was angry with her. She knew just how loose to get Quinn to get her to comply, which in itself is toxic and lowdown behavior. Quinn was prepared to ignore the charm Alex was laying on. The honey bedroom eyes, the sweet talk, and whispers of apologies. They had already argued about the Kendal situation plenty of times and Quinn was tired of arguing about it. She was tired of arguing period. And honestly, she was getting tired of Alex.

Quinn knew she needed to separate herself from Alex. If not forever, then at the most for a few months. Quinn was tired of the disrespect, the lying, humiliation, and hiding. She knew Alex was not ready to come out to all her family. Quinn knew just how hard it was coming out to your family, and how scary it was. Not knowing how they would react, afraid that they wouldn't be able to take it. Quinn's parents kicked her out if their home and disowned her when she came out and she knew Alex feared the same would happen if she told her parents that she was bisexual and currently in a relationship with a woman. Quinn knew Alex had to come to the decision to tell her parents on her own, but she didn't know how much more she could take. This was all beginning to get to her, Quinn felt like she was losing herself in this relationship. And she'd spent way too much time discovering her true self just to let someone else wash her away. Quinn had made up her mind. She would tell Alex in the morning that they needed a break from one another. She would move out and move back in with her old roommates. Maybe they could still be friends during this separation, but they needed a break from their relationship.

But when Alex came home with her sweet talk and soft touches, Quinn folded. She fell right back into Alex's hold.

The next morning, Quinn stood in the mirror staring at her reflection, trying to remember who she was. This wasn't herself staring back at her. This wasn't the strong, free-will, live out loud, and open woman she once was. This was just a shell of her former self.

Quinn wiped a rolling tear away just as the door to the bathroom opened. Alex came in, still naked from the night before. Alex noticed Quinn's eyes but didn't say anything. She hugged her from behind.

"Alex we need to talk." Quinn said. "It's something I should have said last night instead of…"

Alex had a feeling where this conversation was going and there was no way she was going to let Quinn finish her sentence. "You seemed to enjoy last night."

"That is not at all the point of this conversation. Alex we-"

Alex refused to let her finish. "You telling me you didn't enjoy it?" she pulled on the shoulder of the old oversized t-shirt Quinn had on. It was large enough that Alex could push it down her legs, revealing Quinn's bare body underneath. She smooth her hands over Quinn's breast, pinching her nipples and the heat rose in Quinn's cheeks. Quinn moved her head to the side and Alex trailed kisses along her neck, following the same path from the previous night.

Get it together Quinn! "Alex stop. I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing?" Alex moved one hand across Quinn's belly and to the valley between her legs, as the other continued to play with her breast. She parted Quinn's lower lips with her fingers and gently played with her clit and Quinn's knees became weak.

"You're trying to distract me." Quinn grabbed Alex's wrist to pull her hand away, but she found herself hold her hand in place instead.

"And is it working?"

"No."

Alex stopped kissing Quinn's neck and gazed at her through the mirror. "You sure?"

Of course it was working, and Quinn was pissed at herself all over again. She was weak when it came to the sexual pull of this woman. Quinn swung around on her heels and crashed her lips with Alex's. She clung to her as if she could feel this would be the last time, she would kiss her. The last time she would get to hold her again. Alex may have been successful once again in seducing her. But Quinn had a feeling she wouldn't be in this trance for much longer.

Alex walked them backwards out of the bathroom and back to the bed. When she felt the mattress, she pushed Quinn backwards and crawled on top of her. Alex knew she was wrong, she knew that Quinn deserved so much more from her or even someone better than her. But even though she could admit that Quinn deserved better than her, she couldn't let her go. She may not know how to love or communicate it, but she could make Quinn feel how much she loved her. Alex used sex as a way of communicating and as a weapon. And she would do anything to keep Quinn in her hold.

Alex kissed Quinn along the tattoo in the middle of her sternum, licking the valley between her breast. She sucked her left breast into her mouth, releasing it with a loud pop before doing the same to the right. Quinn felt a tingling sensation all over her body, she always felt this way whenever Alex touched her. It didn't matter what mood she was in, whenever Ale touched her she was only in a state of pure ecstasy.

When Alex made her way to where Quinn wanted her the most, she raised her leg and propped it up on Alex's shoulder. She looked down and met Alex's eyes, as she finally sucked her clit into her mouth. She held her gaze, until Alex pushed a finger into her pussy and she fell back onto the bed whispering her name.

"Alex."

Neither of them heard the front door open or Alex's name being called from downstairs. They were too wrapped up in their own world to hear anything but moans and the sounds of their coupling. But it didn't last long. Not when the door to their bedroom opened and in walked in the last person either of them wanted to see at that moment.

Dianna stood frozen in the doorway, hand still on the knob. Her face was ashen and red all at the same time. She didn't know what to do. She'd just walked in on her daughter with her face between her roommate's legs. They were on top of the covers, so there was no hiding, even as they both scrambled off the bed to hide and grab something to cover themselves with. Dianne caught the eye of her daughter and then Quinn, before she turned and briskly walked back down the steps.

"Ma!" Alex desperately called out. She found her robe on the floor and quickly followed her mother before she left. Quinn wrapped herself in the bedsheet and followed behind Alex.

"Ma wait please." Alex caught her mother just as she was about to head out the door. Quinn stayed on the steps watching the two. This was not how she saw the morning going, no one did. She could only imagine the things going through Alex and Dianna's heads right now. This is not how Quinn imagined Alex finally coming out, but maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this was the push Alex needed to finally come out to her parents. The door was basically open at this point.

"Ma I can explain." Dianna had yet to turn around.

When Alex failed to say anything else. "Mrs. Pope, I know this may be a shock. But Alex and I are more than roommates, we're a couple and-"

"No! No! we're not. She's lying!" Alex cut Quinn off before she could say anything else. This was not how she planned to come out to her parents and Quinn was not going to force her to do it. "It's not what you think. I'm not… we were just drunk and we- It was a mistake, I swear. Momma, please look at me."

Quinn knew Alex was hurting, but her heart broke just as well when Alex called her a liar and referred to her as a mistake. She had been a lot of things to a lot of people, but she'd only been a mistake to her parents before now. When Alex called her a mistake, she was brought right back to the day she came out to her parents and that rejection stung today just as it had all those years ago. Quinn silently made her way back up the steps and back to the bedroom.

"Momma just please say something." Alex begged with a single tear rolling down her cheek. Dianna raised her head and slowly began to turn around but at the last second, she stopped and turned out the door. Alex stood in the same spot watching Dianna leave her heartbroken.

Alex's fears were coming to reality when her mother walked out the door without even looking at her. This moment was the exact reason she had yet to come out to her parents. She couldn't face the possibility of rejection. She wasn't like Quinn, she didn't think she could bounce back if her parents decided to disown her. And the look on her mother's face when she caught them in bed together. Alex didn't think she'd ever seen her mother so hurt.
Alex shut the front door and turned back upstairs to find Quinn. She just needed someone to hold her for a while or forever. Her heart was hurting so bad, but she began to panic when she walked in her room and found Quinn packing a small bag.

"Wha- what are you doing?" Alex asked with a shaky voice. Quinn didn't answer as she continued to put some clothes into a small suitcase. "Quinn!" Alex grabbed both of Quinn's hands stopping her from packing anything else.

"Get off!" Quinn yelled, snatching her arm from Alex's grip. "You called me a liar. A mistake."

"What?"

"I haven't felt this rejected since my father threw me out on my ass. A mistake?"

"I- I didn't mean it like that… I didn't know what to say Quinn. I was confused."

"You're not confused Alex, you're scared and embarrassed." Quinn went back to packing her things. "And I can no longer be scared and embarrassed with you. I know who I am and I'm not ashamed of it. And you don't have to be either. Today was your out, the moment for you to finally come out and all you could say was it was a mistake."

"You… you think this was the perfect time to tell her?" Alex looked at Quinn like she had two heads.

"It may not have been perfect, but it was a chance. A chance to confirm what she just saw, to tell her that you are in love with a woman. To tell her you love me." Quinn began to cry. "Dianna is not stupid Alex. What do you think, she's going to believe we tripped and fell into bed together? Or is it me you think is stupid?"

"Quinn no-"

"No, I must be stupid. Stupid for putting up with you for all these years. Stupid for taking you back after you cheated on me and then allowing you to put me back in the closet. Hiding who I am, lying about who I am after what I had to go through coming out. Pretending to be someone I'm not. I can not believe I let my love for you blind me so much."

"Quinn I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry! Sorry for cheating on me. Sorry for lying to me. Sorry for faking our relationship. I'm sick of your apologies. I can't do this anymore."

"What? Baby no you're overreacting. I wasn't calling you a mistake. Just I panicked, I felt like you were trying to force me to come out to my mother and I just had to stop you."

"No. I feel like a teenager in my parent's house again and I will not go back to that life not for anyone."

"I understand that. But you were stronger than me Quinn. I can't risk the rejection of my family. I can't be disowned by my parents, I'm not strong like you."

"I can't do this anymore. I know who I am Alex and I'm proud of who I am. I can't be with someone who doesn't know themselves. Someone who is okay with keeping me in the dark and hidden. Ashamed of me and-"

"I love you, I'm not ashamed of you."

"No Lex, you're ashamed of yourself." Quinn zipped up her bag and walked out the door. Alex was right on her heels as she went down the steps.

"Quinn stop, please don't do this. I can't lose you, not after what just happened, I need you, please. I love you."

"You keep saying that, but I don't believe you. You can't love me Alex. You can't just love me or anyone private and not publicly, it doesn't work like that." Quinn saw the desperation in Alex's face and she could feel the hurt, pain, and panic she was going through. This wasn't easy for Quinn and she knew this would be a double blow to Alex given what just happened with her mother. But if she didn't do this now, he feared she would never do it. And she meant it when she said she would not go back to hiding for anyone, no matter how much she loved Alex. Quinn placed her hand lovingly on Alex's face and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Goodbye Alex."

For the second time in less than half an hour, Alex stood watching as a loved one walked out on her. But this time she didn't have the strength to walk or stand and she slumped to the floor, watching as Quinn got into a taxi and drive away.

X

When Olivia woke up this morning, she reached out and felt the cold sheets. Fitz must have gotten up a while ago. They were staying in the city for the rest of the week and Fitz always loved to go on morning runs when they were in the city. She sat up, when she noticed the shower was running in the bathroom, he must be back already.
The thought of Fitz in the shower was enough to create a pool between Olivia's legs. Since the baby was born, Olivia and Fitz had yet to have sex again. After they waited the suggested 6 weeks, it was Olivia who was not in the mood. It took her longer than six weeks to heal from all her tearing and plus she was dealing with her postpartum, there was no way she was having sex with him. But that was over two months ago now and she was feeling much better. She was off her medication, but she decided to continue with therapy. Just having someone to talk to sometimes was a great feeling.

But now, she was ready to just have sex with her boyfriend again, but he was keeping her at arm's length. She was sure that after the show, last night they would be tangled in the sheets all night long. But that wasn't the case. When they got home last night, Olivia took care of Jordyn's nightly routine and put her to bed. When she went back to look for Fitz, he was already in bed with a glass of scotch and reading something on his tablet.

Olivia changed out of her dress and into her nightgown, washed her face and brushed her teeth. When she got back into bed, she scooted close to Fitz, throwing her leg across both of his. She rested her head on his stomach, playing with his happy trail of hair disappearing into his pajama bottoms. After a while when it was clear that he wasn't putting the tablet down any time soon, Olivia sighed and gave up. She scooted back to her side of the bed, turned off the lamp, and went to sleep, sexually frustrated.

And a night of sleep did nothing to calm that sexual frustration. She and Fitz had flipped positions when it came to sex. Normally it was Fitz that always had sex on the brain, and Olivia was keeping him at arm's length to get a break, to give time for her soreness to alleviate. Now, Olivia was the sex-crazed one.

With the image of Fitz in the shower currently in her mind, Olivia decided to just take care of herself. She slid further under the thick duvet cover and lifted her nightgown. Masturbating wasn't something Olivia did often now, nor before she met Fitz. But She felt like she was about to burst if she didn't get some type of release soon.

Olivia slowly roamed her hands across her stomach, imagining they were Fitz's thick fingers. She could feel his lips trailing behind his hands. Feel the heat of his breath on her cool skin. He would grip her thighs next, she felt the indent of his fingers digging into her thighs. His grip tightening the closer his lips got to her pussy. His excitement rising with each kiss on her skin. Fitz got just as aroused as Olivia did whenever he tasted her.

Olivia widened her legs on the bed and parted her lower lips. Fitz's name was on the tip of her tongue. It came out as a breathless sigh Fitz. The second she pushed her finger into herself, her eyes flung open. This was not working, it was only heightening her arousal. She needed the real thing she needed Fitz. She tried to take care of herself, but it didn't work and now he was going to have to take care of her.

Olivia flung the covers off herself and marched to the bathroom with determination. The bathroom door was unlocked as normal, neither of them locked the door when they were using it. The bathroom was fogged up from Fitz's shower and so was the glass door. But as foggy as it was, Olivia could still make out Fitz's thick and muscular frame leaning against the shower wall with one hand. When she walked closer, she finally noticed exactly what Fitz was doing. She then heard his rough grunts and saw his left arm moving as he jerked himself off.

Olivia was in a daze for a moment, watching him pleasure himself. But then she got angry, What the hell? He's in here getting his rocks off while I'm still horny and frustrated.

She opened the door to the shower and Fitz noticed he was no longer alone. He turned to find Olivia standing there with a look of arousal and anger on her face.

"What the hell?" Olivia said.

"What?"

"What are you doing?" Fitz was about to open his mouth to answer, but Olivia spoke again. "Why didn't you just wake me? Why are you in here masturbating when I'm laying in the next room? As a matter of fact, why haven't you touched me in weeks Fitz? Since Jojo was born we haven't had sex." Again, Fitz was about to speak, but Olivia kept on going. This time Fitz just stayed quiet and let her continue to rant. "I get it in the beginning I still had stitches and then I was going through my problems and wasn't ready, but now I am. And I have been practically throwing myself at you and you've done nothing." She threw her hands up in frustration. "And now I'm in the bedroom about to burst because I'm so horny. And I come in here and you're whacking off down the shower drain. I mean will you just fuck me already?!"

Olivia wasn't prepared for Fitz to grab the front of her nightgown and yank her inside the shower with him. One minute she was standing on her own outside the shower. The next she was slammed up against the shower wall and lifted off her feet. The nightgown she still wore, soaking wet and clinging to her body. Before she could react, Fitz's mouth came crashing down on hers, covering her lips in a bruising kiss. She'd worry about the pain and inevitable bump on the back of her head later. Right now, she wanted to focus on Fitz's hard body smashing her against the wall. The feel of his hands squeezing her hips tightly. She didn't have to imagine it this time, it was happening for real.

He was moving so fast and with a punishing strength. Afterall, it had been months since the last time he'd been inside her. And before the baby, they were having sex just about every day. To be starved after so long, Fitz was not going to be patient.
He bunched the rest of Olivia's nightgown around her waist so he could hike her legs up further. Olivia squealed, when Fitz lifted her legs, on his shoulders, leaving her feet to dangle behind him.

Fitz lined his painfully hard dick up and pushed himself into Olivia in one swift motion, groaning in satisfaction. Olivia's eyes rolled back and a deep throat scream escaped her lips. She was grateful that the baby was still sleeping and Ms. Betty had the day off. She wasn't trying to quiet her screams of ecstasy. She didn't think she could manage even if she tried. Not when Fitz was working her as hard as he was. He took no mercy in his strokes pumping harder each time, banging Olivia's hips again the wall each time. She was sure going to have more than Fitz's fingertip bruises on her when he was done.

"There, oh God!" Olivia locked her ankles around the back of Fitz's head.
He swiveled his hips in a circle and hit her spot each time. "Fuck Livvie." Fitz growled, then bit the side of Olivia's neck. From Fitz's dick, mouth, hands and the wall, Olivia was getting delirious from the pleasure and pain. And when Fitz moved his hand from her waist to her neck, she saw stars. She squeezed his wrist as he squeezed her neck. Fitz watched her facial expression change from shock to erotic pleasure. He could feel his orgasm coming and he released his grip around Olivia's neck.

"Say my name Livvie."

"Fitz."

"Louder!"

"Fitz!" Olivia shouted as they both came together, knocking Fitz back on the tile bench bar in their shower. His eyes were still closed as Olivia sat on his lap, her head on his shoulder. Both of them struggling to catch their breaths. Between their passionate lovemaking and the heat and steam from the shower, Olivia felt like she was going to pass out. They sat quietly for a few moments, letting the water beat down on them.

"You hit my head." Olivia said, when she gained her composure. She could feel Fitz's chuckle.

"Sorry." Fitz said with a smile on his face.

Olivia lifted up to look at him with a smile of her own. "No you're not."

"No I'm not."

Olivia playfully punched him in the chest. "It's not funny. I'm going to have a knot, my head is big enough, I don't need a knot in the back of my head."

Fitz laughed louder and leaned in to kiss Olivia's breast. Her gown was so wet against her skin that it looked like it was painted on. He could see her still hard nipple pressing against the fabric. He sucked her nipple in his mouth, then gripped the hem of her gown and pulled it over her head. Tossing it on the shower floor behind them. When her bare breast was exposed, he repeated his actions, sucking and nibbling on her skin.

Olivia cradled the back of Fitz's head, moaning as he slowly showed each breast the same attention. When he pulled back, she had a fresh red mark. "Why do you like marking me so much?"

Fitz shrugged. Rubbing circles in her thighs. "Why do you let me?"

Olivia shrugged back at his question. "Well let me put my mark on you then."

Fitz gave her a look to go ahead, and Olivia smirked. She leaned down and softly kissed his chest first, then she bit him just as he'd done to her moments earlier. She looked up when he grunted and the soft caress on her thighs turned into a hard grip. She kissed up his chest to his neck, sucking and biting until he had three marks on his neck. Two on one side and one on the other. She smirked at the sight, something about him walking around in public with her mark on him excited her. This mark said he belong to someone else. He belonged to her.

"Satisfied?" Fitz asked.

"No." Olivia raised herself up on Fitz's lap and sat down on his erection. He'd been hard ever since Olivia started kissing his chest. "But I'm about to be."

With Fitz's hands on her hips, Olivia moved at a steady pace. Rocking and bouncing on Fitz's dick to their own rhythm. They didn't rush this time, now, they took their time. Kissing and caressing, licking the water from each other's skin.

"I love fucking you." Fitz said in a deep raspy voice.

"I fucking love you." Olivia moaned. Fitz's habit of cursing was beginning to rub off on her, especially when they were having sex. Fitz loved it. Her dirty talk was the sexiest thing to him.
A buzzing noise broke Olivia out of her haze. "What is that?"

The buzzing was loud but faint at the same time, and it was throwing Olivia off. She tried to focus back on her building orgasm after the buzzing stopped. But a moment later it started back up again.
"Ugh! What is that?"

"Doorbell." Fitz said. Olivia forgot their was a speaker for the doorbell in all the bathrooms. "Ignore it, they'll go away." Fitz tried to keep Olivia focused, but he could tell by her broken rhythm that it wasn't working.

"Fitz." Olivia sighed.

"No, Ignore it keep going." Fitz was sure he could get her back on track, but then they heard the baby crying through the baby monitor on the counter. Once Jojo woke up, Fitz knew he wasn't getting this nut for a second time.

"Fitz I can't, I lost it."

"Olivia!"

"I lost it."

"Fuck!."

Olivia stood from his lap and turned off the water. They both walked out the shower dripping wet and again sexually frustrated. Fitz stomped over to his towel, dried off, put on his joggers and a t-shirt to check the door. Olivia just put on her robe to check on JoJo.

"Whoever this is, it better be fucking important or I'm going to be pissed."

The ringing had turned into an incessant knocking. Fitz angrily unlocked the door and flung it open. He was prepared to give the unannounced visitor a piece of his mind for ringing his bell and banging on his door this early in the morning. But his anger dissipated when he found Alex standing at the door with a pained and tear-stained face. He had a look of confusion on his face to find Alex like this, and to look so unlike herself. He'd never seen Alex this upset before and it threw him for a loop. Then he thought something must have happened to her, or someone must have happened.

"Alex what happened?" Now Fitz was prepared to kick someone's ass.

"Is my sister here?" Alex choked out, then hugged Fitz.

He wasn't sure what to do besides hug her back and call for Olivia. "Uh Liv."

A moment later, Olivia came down the stairs cradling JoJo in her arms. "Babe who was at the door this early?" Olivia asked, but the minute she saw Alex crying in Fitz's arms her protective instincts were activated. She along with Fitz first thought that someone had done something to her sister.

"Alex?" Fitz and Olivia traded, Fitz took the baby and Olivia took Alex. "Alex, what happened?"

"Me, I happened. I really fucked up this time."

X

"Um…" Olivia tried to find the right words to say to her sister in this moment. Alex had just finished telling Olivia everything that happened on this short morning. It was only 11 am, but it felt like two days had passed. To say that Olivia was lost for words was an understatement. Between their mother catching Alex and Quinn in bed and then Alex and Quinn breaking up, Olivia understood why Alex was crying on Fitz's shoulder. But in some way she thought maybe the breakup was harder than anything else to Alex. And based on what Alex said and Quinn's response, this breakup felt like a final one.

"So…" Olivia was still searching for words.

"Say something Olivia."

"Alex I don't know what to say. I mean what do you want me to say?"

"Tell me how to fix this."

"Fix what? I mean with mom all you need to do is have a conversation with her and dad, a conversation you probably should have had years ago. And with Quinn… I don't know. I don't think this can be fixed."

That made Alex begin to cry again. "Well don't say that."

"I'm sorry, but what did you think would happen? She's been telling you for years during your on-and-off relationship that she's tired of hiding who she is around our family. And today you were handed the opportunity to finally come out to momma and you-"

"How do you think that was a good time to tell her 'yeah ma I'm gay'."

"Okay fine, no one said it was perfect. But come on Alex. She caught you with your head between Quinn's thighs! What did you think she would think you tripped and fell in puss-"

"Okay!" Fitz really was beginning to rub off on Olivia.

"Look, momma is not dumb Alex. And I'm sure she didn't believe you two just fell in bed together after one drunken night. I've seen you two together, even when you think no one is watching and you're putting on your friend façade. You two can't hide that you are more than roommates. And if I've seen it, I'm sure Ma has as well and even dad too. You just need to put on your big girl drawers and go confirm what she already knows."

"I'm scared." Alex whispered. "What if she… I can't lose my family."

Olivia reached out and held both of Alex's hands in hers. "Alex no matter what happens after that talk, you will still have a family. Momma and daddy will forever be your parents and I will always be your sister and Jojo will forever be your niece. And we are not going anywhere. Okay? You'll always have me, no matter what."

Alex appreciated hearing those words, but they didn't make her any less nervous to have that inevitable conversation with her mother. Nor did it calm the ache in her heart over Quinn.

"I really screwed up with Quinn didn't I?" Alex huffed back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm afraid so kid." Olivia rubbed Alex's hair like their mother used to do when they were little. "You called her a liar and a mistake."

"I didn't even realize I'd said it until she said it back to me. I swear I just panicked. She was about to tell momma everything and I just blurted out the first thing I could think of to shut her up. And now she thinks I never even loved her."

"Well Lex do you really love her?"

Alex looked at Olivia confused. "Of course, I do. Why do you always ask me that?"

"I'm just saying Alex, ever since you lost your virginity you've been hopping around from guy to girl and back again."

"Hey!"

"I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, I'm just being honest. Alex you only recently figured out how to be monogamous. Quinn has been your longest relationship since Kendal. Before that, it was just a blur of one-night stands and relationships that lasted a few weeks tops. You've claimed to be in love before Lex, but you and I both know it wasn't real. And now with Quinn, this has been your longest relationship, but it's been on and off and you've already cheated on her once. So I'm asking again. Do you really love her or are you just scared of losing her for now?"

Alex thought about what Olivia said and she realized she was right. Her love life mainly consisted of blank-face hookups and one-night stands. She'd never been in a real relationship since Kendal, and while she did love him, it was not the same way that she loves Quinn now. Alex knew she loved Quinn, but she didn't know how deep that love was until she was faced with the possibility of losing her forever. And when she thought about the possibility of losing the love of her parents or Quinn, losing Quinn felt worse.

"I love her." Alex admitted. "I really love her. It may have taken me some time to figure it out, but I truly love her and the thought of losing her forever breaks my heart. I know I've been a shitty girlfriend, but… I don't even have a chance to make it right."

"Well, the first step is talking to momma and daddy. You can't fix things with Quinn until you start being true to yourself."

Alex sighed and stretched out on the couch, putting her head on Olivia's lap. "You're right, as usual. But I need a few hours before I have that talk with her. I need to get my thoughts together and shower. I still smell like Quinn. My head is about to split in two, you got any Advil?"

Olivia left Alex asleep on the sofa after she gave her some Advil and a glass of juice. She expected Alex to sleep for the next few hours. She went looking for Fitz and found him in the nursery. He was sitting on the floor with Jordyn, doing some tummy time. Olivia sat down with them, rubbing her baby's back.

"How much of that did you hear?" Olivia asked, referring to her conversation with Alex.

"I might have been eavesdropping." Fitz admitted, he purposely took JoJo back to her nursery instead of his bedroom, because it was closer to the living room. And with the door cracked open, he could hear the conversation between the two sisters. "Sounds like Alex has a lot of heavy conversations and some ass-kissing in her near future."

Olivia nodded. "That she does. I just hope it works. My fear is that Quinn will be the one that got away."

"How do you think your parents are going to react."

"Well, I'm sure my mother has told my dad what happened by now. I think it will be an awkward conversation, considering how my mom found out. But I think she will take it well. Honestly, I'm sure my mother knew years ago. Quinn's been coming around our family for years now, she's practically part of the family. And no matter how well Alex and Quinn hide their relationship they always slip sometimes. My mother is very observant, and she is far from dumb."

"I know this must be hard for your sister."

"Yeah it is, but I think she's taking the break up worse. She wasn't even this heartbroken when that loser Kendal left her." Olivia looked over at Fitz, watching him play with the baby. "It reminds me of the year and a half when we broke up. I tried to pretend that it was easy, but I felt just like she feels now. Probably worse."

Fitz didn't like talking about that time, or the reason they broke up in the first place. They were passed it and he wanted to keep it in the past. "I don't want to revisit that time."

"Neither do I." Olivia replied. "But I do want to revisit that talk we had about marriage."

Fitz almost sighed, but he held it in. "What is there to revisit?" Fitz asked, looking up to make eye contact with Olivia. "I thought I was clear about how I felt."
"You were, but I don't think I was clear."

"Oh, I think you were. You want marriage."

"And I don't understand why you don't Fitz. I mean we have a home together, we have a child, we're basically married now. What's the problem?"

"If we're basically married now, then why do we need to have a big spectacle of a wedding if nothing will change?"

"Is that your problem with marriage? A spectacle? Fitz, I wouldn't care if we went to the courthouse or had a shotgun wedding." Olivia definitely would care and she for sure wanted a big spectacle of a wedding. "I don't want to end up like Alex and Quinn."

"And how would we end up like them?" Fitz asked confusingly.

"My sister cried herself to sleep on our sofa, because she's lost the love of her life. That used to be me when we where broken up."

"Olivia married people can break up too you know, divorces are real things."

Olivia scoffed. "How can you just say that so nonchalantly? So you're saying you'd leave me?"

"Woah what?" Fitz was confused, how did they get to the subject of him leaving her? Had he said that? "Are we arguing? What are we even talking about?"

"Oh I forgot, you're a pro at divorces. Maybe they'll give you a discount on your second one."

Olivia got up and walked out of the room leaving Fitz more confused than when the conversation started. One thing Fitz was sure of, was that this conversation was not over.

X

After a few hours of hiding out at Olivia and Fitz's place, Alex decided, with some push from Olivia, that it was time to go talk to her mother. She showered and borrowed some clothes from Olivia and headed to her parent's house. The ride over to the house felt like the shortest ride ever and before she knew it, she was standing at the door to her parent's home. She had her hand up to knock as if this wasn't her childhood home and she didn't have a key.

Alex slowly knocked on the door and waited until it opened. She was slightly relieved when her father opened the door instead of her mother. Alex hesitated to look at him. But when she did, she could tell by his expression that her mother had told him everything.

"Hey daddy."

"Hey Lexi." Eli said with a smile. He hadn't called her Lexi in years and the only one who called her that now was Olivia. "Come on in honey, your mother is in the living room."

Alex stepped through the doorway into the home and hesitantly walked towards the living room. Dianna was sitting on the loveseat, nursing a glass of wine. She'd been on the same glass of wine since this morning. She and Eli had been talking all morning long and she'd yet to finish it. Dianna had, of course, shared with her husband this morning's events and at first his reaction was the same as his wife's, silence. He didn't know how to respond. They were both trying to figure out the right words to say to their daughter when she finally came to them.

Dianna knew she didn't take today's revelation well, but to be fair she was taken completely off guard. It was her own fault for just walking into people's homes and bedrooms, even if those people are her children. But still, she could honestly say that was the last thing she expected to see when she walked into that room. And now looking back over the situation and her response, she wished she had handled it better. Walking out without so much a word was not the right way to handle her shock.

Dianna looked up when she heard footsteps coming towards the room. She smiled when she saw Alex, but then frowned when she noticed her appearance. It was clear she'd been crying and crying hard for probably that entire morning. She looked worn out, and quite pitiful.

"Hey Ma."

"Hi sweetheart."

Eli came to sit beside his wife on the love seat and Alex sat across from them on the sofa. For a few moments, none of them spoke. Alex played with her fingers, Dianna took a few sips of her wine and Eli just sat still waiting for someone to start the conversation.

Once Alex knew she couldn't put it off any longer, she begin to speak. "Um.." she started off with a shaky voice. "So I first, I think I need to apologize to you mom for uh what you walked in on. I never intended for that to happen."

"I appreciate that. But I feel I must also apologize. You and Olivia are not little girls anymore, you have your own space and I need to start respecting that."

Alex nodded, so far so good. Right? "So, um… about what you saw. I… Quinn and I…" Dianna and Eli just waited patiently for Alex together thoughts and words together. "Quinn wasn't lying. I'm gay." Alex blurted out before she psyched herself out again. And she had to admit that it felt amazing to finally say those two words out loud to her parents. It felt like the biggest relief and boulder had been lifted off her shoulders. She'd finally said it, and there was no taking it back. And once she started, she just kept going. "And I am in love with Quinn."

Dianna and Eli glance at each other, before turning back to Alex. They knew what she was going to say, but they were not expecting her to say she was in love. As far as they knew, Alex didn't do relationships longer than a few weeks.

"I know this may have come as a shock to you and I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I was just so scared. I was so scared of being rejected by you and so scared to lose you that I let my fear make me lie about how I am. And I let myself hurt Quinn by making her hide who she is and I don't want to do that anymore. I can't do it anymore. Pretend I'm someone I'm not and throw away our life together." Alex wiped a tear from her face, willing herself to stay strong. "I may have lost my greatest love because I was scared to be who I am. So, I'm done being scared. I'm done keeping secrets and hiding who I am. I love you both so much, and I just need you to tell me that you still love me."

Dianna and Eli were busy processing. Alex just unloaded a lot on them. But the silence was beginning to unnerve Alex.
"Please say something. Anything." Alex begged.

Dianna didn't speak as she sat her wine glass down on the coffee table and stood. Alex's heart dropped because she thought her mother was going to walk out again. But she still broke down when her mother stood in front of her and pulled her up by her from the chair and just wrapped her in her arms. That hug was just what Alex needed, it was the reassurance of their love that she so desperately needed. Alex hugged her mother as tight as she could as she cried on her shoulder. She didn't think she could cry anymore after this morning, but the tears just kept flowing.

"Alright let me in there." Eli said, making the two women laugh. Dianna reluctantly let go of her daughter so that Eli could wrap her in an even bigger hug. "Alexandra, your mother and I both love you and Olivia more than anything on this earth. There is nothing either of you could say or do that could change our love for you. You don't ever have to be afraid to tell us anything."

"I really needed to hear you say that daddy."

Dianna and Alex sat next to each other on the sofa and Eli sat on the coffee table in front of them. All three were holding onto someone's hand, and this was beginning to feel like a scene from a movie.

"Alex, I'm glad that you finally felt safe to tell us this. But I must admit that I've had my suspicions for a while now."

"Wait what?" Alex's eyebrows raised to her forehead. She knew?

"Alex I am very intuitive-"

"Some might call it nosey." Eli said, and Dianna rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, I'm intuitive and I notice things. Like how you love to stare at other women when you think no one is watching. The fact that you've never brought a man home to meet us or had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. And how close you and Quinn have gotten over the years. I had no idea you were in love, but you two didn't act like just roommates."

"So you knew this entire time?" Alex asked.

"Well no, I didn't know anything for sure. I just had my suspicions. A mother knows her children and you two have not been as discreet as you thought. I didn't say anything to you, because maybe on one hand I just wanted to ignore it. And on the other I wanted you to tell me yourself."
"So if you knew all along, what was the deal with inviting Kendal to dinner? What did you think you could change my mind or something? That one look at him and I would decide not to be gay anymore?"

"No! Of course not. I don't know what that was… well maybe I did have an ulterior motive for inviting him here. I… honey I have to be honest, this was not the life I saw for you. Hell, this wasn't the life I saw for either of my children. This way of life is all new to me. You know how I grew up with very religious and traditional parents. And I tried to raise you girls with the same values. And now your sister was pregnant and had a baby out of wedlock and you're…"

"A lesbian mom. Actually, I'm bisexual, but I prefer women."

"Well okay. Again, this was not the life I saw for my girls."

"Mom-"

"But I understand that times are different now, and you girls have your own life to live. I may not always approve of how you girls choose to live your life, but I will always support you. And that no matter what, you will always, always have my love. Don't ever doubt that again."

"Yes ma'am." Alex smiled.

Dianna sat up and straightened her cardigan. Her eyes were getting teary, but she refused to cry right now. "Now it may take me a moment to adjust and wrap my head around this, but I promise I will try. You just have to be patient with your father and I. Deal?"

This was the best version of how this conversation could have gone. All the worry and stress was for nothing. Alex came out to her parents, and they handled it very well. Better than she could have imagined. And for that, she was very grateful. So, if it took them a little time to get used to her being gay, she would give them that time. At least they were trying and right now that's all she could hope for.

"Deal."

Until Next Time…