CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Mike sat in a booth in the diner with Wyatt. He had dropped Tom off at the therapist's office and headed straight over. Ginny had already brought him a coffee and had sat down for a second with them. She reached over and took his hand.
"You, okay?" she asked quietly as Mike was recessed in his own head. He looked up from the table and met her eyes, giving her an easy smile.
"Just thinking about things," Mike sighed out. Ginny cocked her head to the side.
"Like?"
"Lots of things," Mike said evasive. He wasn't quite ready to talk about everything.
But he was thinking about her, and the boys, and how things were changing. He was thinking about Tom and how he was changing. He was thinking about Sasha, and her phone call. Her actions and demeaner concerning to him. He was thinking about a future and what they could hold for him. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't dreading tomorrow. He glanced at Ginny and found her studying his face. He wondered how much of his emotions were escaping outward but still…he wasn't quite ready to talk to her about any of it. It wasn't that he didn't trust her enough to burden her with his thoughts, he just wasn't in a head space to articulate and express what he wanted. He needed more time to mull over the thoughts and form them into concrete items.
"You'll come around eventually," she whispered and squeezed his hand. He looked at her with a genuine smile.
"And that attitude is one of the main reasons…I fell in love with you." Mike replied quietly. "Thank you for understanding that sometimes I'm withdrawn." Ginny smiled back at him and nodded. She licked her lips.
"I understand a lot more than you think. I get it though. I noticed that you need to be one hundred precent sure on something before you voice it." Mike thought about her statement.
"I don't even know if it's even that. I just don't want to burden you with things that you don't need to be burdened with," Mike replied, his thumb absently rubbing along her hand.
"Mike," she began in a quiet but loving voice. "Your burdens will never be a burden to me. We can shoulder them together." Mike let her words sink in and he felt a tightness in his chest, and a telltale burn in his eyes. He swallowed and looked down at the table and could only nod at her that he understood what she was saying. Ginny squeezed his hand one more time. "I have to get back to work."
She stood up and he rose with her. He stopped her from walking away and kissed her gently. She pulled back and smiled at him.
"Love you," he whispered.
"Love you too, I'll see you later."
Ginny walked away and Mike noticed Sasha come in the diner. He raised a hand and waved garnering her attention and she walked up to him and embraced him. Mike hugged her back and they took a seat in the booth. Wyatt was laying with his back on the bench and his legs going up the back of the bench. Sasha glanced over curiously at the boy.
"Good to see you, Mike," she said while still looking at Wyatt. Mike glanced down at the boy and smiled.
"Likewise. It's been too long, Sasha," Mike replied. She looked back at him, and he saw the nervousness in her eyes. "What's going on?"
"Who's this little guy?" she asked deflecting. Mike looked at her for a long moment, then answered her question.
"This is one of my boys, Wyatt. Ty's at school."
"Boys? You really did find yourself a family," Sasha said a smile gracing her strained features.
"Yes. I'll introduce you to Ginny when she gets to the table," Mike replied. "But you didn't answer my question."
"In time, Mike," Sasha breathed out. Mike frowned but didn't have time to continued as Ginny walked up.
"What can I get you to drink?" Ginny asked looking at Sasha. Sasha looked up at her thoughtful then replied.
"Just some coffee," Sasha said.
"Sasha, this is Ginny," Mike cut in. "Ginny, this is Sasha, Tom's girlfriend.
"Hi, nice to meet you," Ginny said cheerfully. After the greetings were all exchanged, Ginny took their food order and walked away. Mike watched her go then turned back to Sasha. Wyatt had sat up and was bouncing on the bench of the booth.
"She seems great," Sasha said quietly. Mike nodded.
"Okay, Sasha, we don't have a lot of time so what's going on?"
"I'm sure Tom told you about everything."
"Look, Tom just told me it's been rough and that you're done with him. He's in a dark place right now, but the therapy is helping. I think being away from everything is helping too. There's been times where he's been his old self."
"That's what hurts the most, Mike. Tom's right. It's been rough since the James sank. But even before that he had been so emotionally distant. There's no…it's like mentally he's just not there. I guess it's hard to explain. Then…Sammy leaving…I think he feels like he failed as a father. I think he feels like Superman but wants to just be Clark Kent…if that makes sense."
"I think he's just overrun with survivors' guilt, and PTSD."
"We all have it," Sasha said defensively, and Mike got the feeling that they had argued this point till they were both blue in the face.
"Yeah, I know," Mike snapped back. Wyatt bounced to him and grabbed both sides of his face, pulling him to look at him. Mike let his face turn.
"Mike," Wyatt said, and Mike could see the concern in the boy's face. Mike smiled.
"It's okay, Buddy," Mike replied softly. "I'll get you some French fries in a second," he continued. He then turned back to Sasha. "Look, I get it. We all have scars and baggage, and bad dreams from the shit we went through in the last however fucking long this ordeal lasted. But Tom…he wears it different and for good reason."
"So, you're giving him a pass too?" Sasha asked bewildered and Mike felt defeated.
"No," he said incredulously. "I'm the one that got him to change scenery. I'm the one that got him to actually go talk to someone. Sasha, I'm the one that's going to finish breaking him so he can get better," Mike said with gritted teeth. He felt the pressure of the situation and pulled back. He leaned against the booth and tried to regulate his breathing, calm himself down. Sasha had withdrawn as well and was staring at her coffee cup. He could see her brain was spinning wildly and he wondered when they'd get to the real issue of her visit. He knew she was still holding something back from him. They were still quiet when Ginny brought their lunches and set them down. She looked tentatively from Sasha to Mike. Mike met her eyes, and she creased her brow, concerned. Mike shook his head slightly and gave her a forced smile. She nodded slightly, looked at Sasha, then walked away.
"She's good for you," Sasha stated quietly. Mike looked up from his food. He smiled weakly and nodded. Then he looked over at Wyatt, who was eating his French fries.
"The boys are too," he whispered. Sasha nodded. "And I'm not giving Tom a pass. I'm not excusing his behavior either. But he's said some things to me that…just know he is in a dark place, and he regrets his behavior." Sasha took his words in with no response at first. It was a few moments before she responded.
"I really miss him," she whispered, and her voice cracked. Mike looked up to see a tear run down her face. He sighed.
"He's still there. I'm working on getting him to come out. Just give him a little more time," Mike replied then took a bite of his food. Her tears increased and Mike felt his chest tighten.
"I don't know what to do," she mumbled. They both ate in silence for a while. When Wyatt had finished his own fries, he had started on Mike's. Mike let him, pushing his remaining fries onto Wyatt's plate. Mike finished his burger and pushed his plate away.
"You have to decide it you can wait a little while longer," Mike offered.
"It's not that simple anymore," Sasha said with a sigh. Mike cocked his head to the side, but Sasha didn't offer any more information.
"And why not? What's changed?" Mike asked.
"I'm…" Sasha began but the words seemed to catch in her throat. Mike watched, waited, determined to let her work this out. She obviously had something to say. He wondered if she had met someone new. He hoped not for Tom's sake. She looked up and made direct eye contact. Her eyes were shiny with tears.
"What is it, Sasha?" Mike asked gently. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "You can tell me anything."
"I'm pregnant, Mike," Sasha said, and Mike felt his jaw drop. He was not expecting that. She looked away and pulled her hand from his. His mind raced.
"That's exciting," he finally said a smile creeping onto his face. Then he frowned. "Does Tom know this?"
"No…I…I don't know how to tell him. I don't want it to…I don't know how…"
"He'll take it?" Mike asked. She nodded slowly and bit at her lower lip. "Sasha, he's going to be happy."
"Are you sure?"
"Really? You think he won't be happy to be a dad again? It is his right?" Sasha gave him a glare.
"Of course, it's his," she hissed. Mike smiled his boyish grin. Sasha's glare softened as she shook her head at him.
"So, what's the problem," Mike asked. "Obviously it's not planned, or this wouldn't be an issue."
"No not planned at all. I never wanted kids," Sasha admitted. "That was one of the reasons it didn't work the first time."
"And now?" Mike asked.
"I struggled with thoughts for weeks, Mike," Sasha replied, locking eyes with Mike. Mike saw the turmoil laying there. He frowned. "But I couldn't make any decision without him. It wouldn't be fair. Then I couldn't figure out how to tell him."
"And now?"
"And now I don't know. The night I called, and you answered?"
"The first night Tom was here?"
"Yes. I was calling to tell him then. But then you answered and…well I chickened out."
"You're not leaving without seeing him this time, are you?" Mike asked. "You know I can't lie to him. I'll tell him I saw you today."
"I know, Mike," Sasha sighed. She pinched the bridge of her nose with her finger and thumb. Her hand dropped. "No…I want to see him. I'm just not sure if it's the best thing to do…do you think it will disrupt him…getting better?"
"No, as long as neither of you picks a fight," Mike said with warning. Sasha nodded slowly. "Tell you what. Come to dinner tonight. Ginny's off at six today so we can eat around seven. I'll make sure Tom's there too."
"I don't know, Mike," Sasha said. Mike frowned.
"Just do it. Neutral ground. We'll have it at Ginny's apartment. You can meet Ty."
"Okay," Sasha agreed reluctantly.
"Do you want him to know ahead of time?" Mike asked. Sasha thought about it, then slowly shook her head.
"I don't think so. I think…let me surprise him."
"Okay. And can you make me a promise?" Mike asked.
"What?"
"Tell him you're pregnant tonight? I think it'll be good for him."
Sasha pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders a little. Mike glared at her, and she smiled and nodded slowly. Mike smiled in return and looked down at Wyatt who was now under the table playing with the shoelace of Mike's shoe. Mike glanced at his watch and sighed.
"I have to go pick him up and hope I can keep a secret until dinner," Mike said with a laugh. Sasha smiled. "You got somewhere you can hang until dinner?"
"Yes, I have a hotel room booked," Sasha said. Mike nodded.
"Okay," Mike replied as Ginny walked up with the check.
"Everything was, okay?" she asked as she started to collect empty plates and silverware from the table.
"Excellent," Sasha replied with a smile.
"Yeah, great," Mike said. "Sasha is going to come to dinner tonight. It's a surprise for Tom."
"Oh, good!" Ginny said. Wyatt heard Ginny and crawled in between Mike's legs and sprang to his feet next to her.
"Mom," he said and smiled. Ginny ruffled his hair.
"Hey, Wy. Be good for Mike," She whispered to him before leaning down and kissing him. She them headed off for the kitchen. Mike grabbed the check and went up front to pay after scooping Wyatt to his hip. Sasha followed him up.
As they were parting ways, Mike gave Sasha the address to the apartment building and then got Wyatt settled in the back seat of his truck. He drove off thinking about everything that had been discussed at lunch and worked to put it away as he pulled into the parking lot. Tom was waiting for him.
"Late today," Tom mumbled. Mike smiled.
"Sorry, honey, my lunch ran late," Mike smiled sweetly. Tom's grumpiness didn't ease. "Tough session?"
"Same shit different day," Tom muttered, and Mike sighed. Hopefully he wasn't in the same mood at dinner.
"Sorry I was late," Mike said more seriously. Tom looked over at him with a creased brow, then nodded slowly.
"Sorry I was an ass," Tom sighed. Mike laughed. Tom smiled.
"There's that beautiful smile I like to see," Mike quipped, and Tom laughed out loud.
"Stop it," Tom grunted and shook his head.
"Got you to smile and laugh," Mike said with a shrug. Tom looked at him and his face turned serious. Mike pulled the truck into traffic.
"Thanks for sticking with me, Buddy," Tom said softly. Mike glanced over at him then back at the road.
"I told you. You wouldn't let us quit. I'm not letting you quit. You have too much to live for," Mike said then cringed. Tom gave him a curious look but didn't push and Mike was grateful. It might be a long few hours of keeping his mouth shut about tonight.
To Be Continued…