STARGATE ATLANTIS

PRIMIS : THE HURTING

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John woke up abruptly from yet another nap late in the afternoon. The tiredness he was feeling did not bode well for his return to active duty the next day as he had hoped; he would have to go along with Carson's original plan of two more days' rest. Crap. He needed to find Arla and Vari. He owed them so much.

"You, okay Sheppard?" Ronon asked from one of the lounge chairs, watching his friend jump.

John moved sluggishly up in the bed to face his friend.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, not just a bit surprised to see him there.

"Torren had a check-up with Carson. Teyla said she couldn't wake you to remind you, so she asked me to sit with you as she was worried. Are you okay?" Ronon asked not hiding his worry.

"Oh. Yeah. Damn." He ran a hand through his hair. "Can't stay awake. This is driving me mad."

Ronon noticed he was doing his best to ruin another bandage. "Stop it. Leave it alone. Here." He handed over a fine leather item to John, who took it with sleepy eyes. "What is it?"

"I made it for your arm." Ronon said simply. "To stop you scratching."

John's eyes grew big as he admired the fine stitching around the seams. "You made this. It's really well done. Great stitching."

"Yeah, well. My father was the real master at it. I kind of picked up bits here and there. Let me put it on for you. It will cover the area, so you won't need a bandage, and…" he said pointedly, "…you won't be able to scratch it!"

John smiled. "Thanks, Ronon. It's great." He flexed his arm. "It's really soft too."

"See how it goes. Anyway, you didn't answer me…are you okay? Cos, you were tossing and turning quite a lot…and shouting out."

John swung his legs over the side of the bed and shook his head. "Sorry. I was dreaming about the wraith with the long hair. I woke up once when I was strapped down and he was leaning over me -the feel of his hair on my face and chest was…well, that's what I was dreaming."

"You still haven't talked much about what happened to you."

John cocked his head in disbelief at what he was hearing. "And this coming from you!" He laughed.

Ronon chuckled. "Yeah, well. Still – I'm hear if you want to offload."

John tapped him on his shoulder as he passed him on the way to the bathroom. "I know."

When he next stepped into his bedroom, Ronon was gone, so he turned back into the bathroom and took a quick shower – remembering to take his leather armguard off first. He smiled at Ronon's kind gesture.

It wasn't long until he was clean, shaved and wearing fresh clothes. For the first time in a while he felt almost human. Picking up his ear piece he contacted Teyla to tell her he was awake. She replied that she would meet him at the mess with Torren soon. He smiled at his earlier time spent with Teyla. He would look forward to sending some time with his family over their meal. He was already missing having Torren walking beside him, but he knew some separation was healthy. Looking at his watch, he realised he had time to do one more thing that he hadn't had a chance to do yet.

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Normally, John would have announced his presence first, but this time John just wanted a quiet moment to watch his friend at work. The creak of his boots as they bounced up and down on the floor as he leaned back and forward between two computers were a familiar noise that he just realised was pure Rodney.

Almost as if he knew somebody was behind him, Rodney threw a look over his shoulder and stalled for a moment before resuming his work.

"You not going to invite me in?" John said light-heartedly; still worried at his friend's silent treatment with him – usually he would stay close until he was feeling better from whatever had ailed him.

"I didn't think the Military Commander of Atlantis needed an invite." He said without looking at him.

John drew close. "You are right. He doesn't. Except Lorne has that title at the moment." John leaned his elbows on the desk and looked at the nearest screen, only for Rodney to turn it away from him so he couldn't see what was on it.

"Rodney?"

"It's nothing you need to see….how are you anyway?"

"Tired…bored. The usual. You?"

"Busy, so if you don't mind…" Rodney stuck his chin out further, and furiously tapped away on the keys of his computer.

"Rodney, what's wrong. I have hardly seen you since I got back?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just gave you time to be with Teyla. I was going to come see you later…actually."

Perhaps he was, perhaps he wasn't, but John didn't push him further. He didn't think that was his true reason for not visiting him, but decided to just leave him alone after seeing his face turn red with the effort of maintaining his lie, so he gave him an out.

"Want to join us all for lunch?"

Food, next to physics and solving problems, was always the way to get to Rodney, so…

"Sure. Now?"

John nodded when Rodney finally looked at him.

"Great. I'll just close this down."

John brandished his arm. "'this' being?"

Rodney narrowed his yes. "None of your busi…" John whipped the screen around at the last moment.

"I recognise that! Did Carson give you my bloodwork?"

"It was me...me, remember, who figured out what was happening to you anyway! Besides, I have a theory I am not willing to share yet…and it's sensitive so don't destroy it…" He snatched his computer back and proceeded to shut it down before John could complain.

"I think you could share it with me, Rodney, if it's something to do with me!" John started to get riled up.

"I didn't want to because it's just an idea at the moment. And who knows if it's a good thing or not!" Rodney stared at John, angry that he had spied his work, but suddenly realised this is what he had missed: sparring words with John. A slow smile grew on his face; gradually joined by John's.

"I missed you, Rodney. It's not the same sparring with a toddler – who seems to win every time anyway!" John was suddenly melancholy.

Rodney sized him up, and realised he had been remiss at not asking his friend all that had happened to him. "What was it like...you know, with Torren on your own?"

John pointed to the door and they walked on towards the mess. "It was scary having the responsibility to look after Teyla's son, but I loved every minute of it, even though things were tough. He's not hard to look after…and it's not a difficult thing to fall in love with the wee fella."

"You seem very close."

"He's my son, Rodney. Or will be when Teyla and I get married, and I adopt him. How strange is that, eh! Me…a father?"

"You will be a good husband and father." Rodney said quite seriously.

"Thanks, Rodney!"

"And… I kinda missed you too, by the way!"

"So, we are good?"

"Of course. Just don't go snooping at my work until I know more."

John put his hands up. "Okay. But promise me you will tell me as soon as you know. I feel like I'm a walking time bomb."

"Sorry, John, I never told you I was still working on it…I will fill you in, as and when I figure it out. Not long for the results."

"Thanks, buddy."

The two friends talked about all sorts of things on their walk, until finally the scrape of cutlery on crockery had them at the mess and they could see Teyla, Torren, Carson, Amelia and Ronon sitting there already.

"Has food been a problem?" John asked before reaching down to scoop Torren up into his lowered arms.

"No. Not too bad. People are strange in this galaxy though. Not too willing to trade or share." Rodney said at his look. "There is a race of people called 'The Carakans' that dominate here. We are yet to meet them!"

John nodded as he hugged and kissed Torren. "So what did Dr Beckett say to you today?" John asked, whilst looking at Carson.

"I'm a good boy!"

"Really! I didn't know doctors lied to their patients." John pretended.

Carson shook his head and watched as John leaned in to kiss Teyla's cheek and then sat down beside her, pulling Torren onto his knee.

"He is perfect!" Teyla quickly said.

John could feel Carson eyeing him up. "I'm fine too Carson, before you ask."

"You look a bit peaky. Still tired?"

He looked at Ronon, who folded his arms and cocked an eye. "I was. Not now. Feel quite good actually. Famished."

Teyla stood and took Torren from him, before depositing him on his own chair and pushing his plate towards him. The small boy looked at his food and then at John, who was also staring at the sliced potatoes and some sort of meat.

"Daddy, are they the same?"

John was lost in a memory of the potato like vegetable Arla always cooked for them when they found some. Obviously Torren recognised it too.

"Huh? Erm, yeah, sport… looks the same." A brief flash of Arla's smile, made John almost sink into his chair. The weight of the decision to not let him go to rescue her and Vari yet was getting unbearable. He felt all eyes watching him, and then the soft touch of Teyla's hand on his knee centred him to the here and now.

"John?"

"Sorry. It's just…Arla. She always cooked a vegetable similar to these."

"They were yummy!" Torren said, and John ruffled his hair, admiring his quality to just carry on.

"So they were."

Teyla smiled softly and kissed her son's cheek.

"Where's Arla and Vari? Want them here."

"Daddy is going to find them." Rodney, surprisingly, piped up with. "Now let's eat."

Rodney would never know how grateful John was in that moment from almost getting upset and down at the thought of missing his friends.

"Yeah." said Ronon. "I'm starving!"

"You are always starving!" Rodney said, to which Ronon turned to face him….and so life, as he once knew it between his team mates returned to John in that moment.

Then …

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John flew into Woolsey's office.

He, and his team had just heard from Woolsey of an emergency situation. Amelia stayed with Torren, so the four friends and Carson ran to see what was up.

"Sit down, Colonel."

"I don't want to sit down. I want to know what's up." John paced.

Woolsey didn't push him. "It's Major Lorne. He is on Amitiyaz to gather some samples. He was checking in with me but got cut off…"

"Get him back on the radio, then." John felt his stomach drop.

"It was a video link…"

John moved towards the door but stopped at Woolsey's side. "Richard, times wasting here!"

Woolsey markedly looked towards Carson; as did John.

John flung his arms down to his sides. "Come on. I have to go. I don't want the same thing to happen to Lorne and the others that happened to me!"

Carson walked right up to him. "You are still not right, John. You are as white as a sheet…"

"I am perfectly fine, Carson. I lived over year without needing approval from a doctor to know when I am well enough to do my job. Hell, I felt worse all that time I was away than I do now, and still I managed to survive…" John stopped talking; realising he had just admitted to something he shouldn't have.

Carson raised an eyebrow, but decided to let it go. He filled in the stark silence that had seemed to hit everyone. "You are cleared." He said somewhat reluctantly, knowing full well John would just go anyway. "But, I'm coming too!"

John started to speak, but Woolsey beat him to it.

"It's a good idea, John…and not up for debate."

John did start to say otherwise, but was faced with his team siding with Woolsey. "We might need him for Lorne!" Rodney said the deciding sentence.

"Ronon, Rodney, you are with me." He turned to look at Teyla, realising she was about to hate him. "Teyla…" He started.

Teyla allowed a single tear to fall down her cheek. She wiped the rest away quickly. "I will stay with Torren. He does not deserve to have both parents absent at this fragile time of recovery."

John took her shoulders. "I will be right back."

Teyla's heart stopped. He should not have said that and he knew it. He hesitated on how to handle her next, but she came in for a brief embrace and whispered 'go!' in his ear.

"Look after yourself…and Torren. I love you both." He whispered back.

Then he walked out of the room followed by the rest of his team.

"Are we taking some marines?" Rodney asked as they jogged towards the armoury.

"No. I'm not endangering anyone else's lives."

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John flew the 'jumper lost in thought towards a planet he had not seen in a few months. A planet where he had been held captive; tortured and experimented on; leaving bad memories he did not wish to return to.

Ronon and Rodney watched him constantly out of the sides of their eyes; and occasionally glanced back towards Carson with concern. They were worried about him. They had just got him back and they did not know what they were about to fly into; whether it would be something that could tip John over the edge. If anything had happened to Lorne, well, they could not think about the repercussions of that.

John reached out to touch the HUD; his fingers darting over the various readings, and he did not like what he was seeing as they drew closer to Lorne's last known position.

"Are you seeing that, Rodney?" John's looked even paler with the reflection of the screen highlighting his face.

Rodney looked himself. "Life signs. They are not wraith!" he said.

"What's going on?" Ronon rose to stand behind John's chair but looked out the front as Carson also moved forward.

"Ships on the ground. Two from what I can tell, and as Rodney said: 'not wraith'."

Ronon narrowed his eyes. "Who are they then? We were told – and as you know all too well, this is a wraith home world. Crone said no-body comes here."

John remained silent for a time. "Only one way to find out."

They flew low along the ground ravaged by the release of the huge hive ship that had lain underground all that time he had been there; longer for Arla, Vari and the others, he reminded himself. John kept his thoughts to himself once he saw it; refusing to let his hands shake with adrenalin as he witnessed the area he had spent so long away from Teyla and the others. Finally he hovered; cloaked, where Lorne and his men had spent the night with Crone and more of John's old friends.

I will find them, he thought.

"There!" Rodney pointed.

Sure enough, the obvious signs of a smouldering fire, surrounded by a mound of round stones the way a marine would stack, came into view.

John quickly looked at Ronon, who nodded. He was prepared. The fire was still warm.

John landed the 'jumper and picked up his P-90. "Guys, we have to find Lorne. Stay here just now, doc. Radio silence, but two clicks for an emergency." He said as he walked down the ramp before cloaking it. "…but if I get the chance I am taking anyone that wants to, back with me to Atlantis. Twice this has been offered; I know; but this is suspect. Surely this is not something the wraith would do. The place has been trashed." John said when he took in the signs of their tents being ransacked and some contents thrown about in abandon.

"Looks like there has been a fight here." Ronon said, squatting down beside some squashed bushes and foot marks in the dust.

John looked and then nodded. "Any life signs, Rodney?"

"Not in the immediate area. Back where these two ships are though…many!"

"How far is that?" Ronon frowned.

"One click…give or take."

"Damn!" John stamped his foot and kicked some more ruined vegetation. "Raiders of some description, do you think?"

"Could be these Carakans. Rumour has it they fear no-one. Not even the wraith!"

"How do you know all this?"

"We came across loads of different people on various planets when we were looking for you."

Rodney stopped talking as John went paler still. "Oh! Of course. I guess I didn't want to think of all that you went through when I was missing… I…"

Ronon walked up to him. "It's okay, Sheppard. We will catch up with that soon enough."

"Sure." John felt a wind whip up and looked off into the distance. Something was bothering him.

It was the trees. John cocked his head to the side; weighing something up.

"What is it?" Ronon asked, instantly on alert; bringing his blaster up.

"I get the strangest feeling I am being watched." Together the three men; needing no words, put their backs against each other so they were covering three directions at the same time. Of course, it would be the missing fourth; that the danger came from.

John felt something slide across his forehead and the desire to reach up was great, but he remained focused and intent on keeping watch; the others spinning around at his slight grunt, and looking off into the trees that had perplexed John just seconds earlier. Soon, though, he felt his body waver, and noticed that both Ronon and Rodney were looking worried.

"Wha…" he started to ask, before a pain hit him again in the head. It was sharp and the urge to check on it became important when he felt what could only be blood slide down his cheek. He wiped it away.

His thoughts became like mud, and he realised that Ronon was talking to him, gripping his arm, and shaking him to get his attention, but his knees suddenly gave way, and if it were not for Ronon's grip he would have landed on his front.

"R'non?"

Ronon's answer became distant in his mind, blending with others he could have sworn were more than two.

Stone and brush shifted harshly beside him as he was lowered to the ground by Ronon. He frowned, pressing his lips together as his head sagged towards his chest.

The realisation that he had been shot somehow kicked into his muddled brain. "No!" he thought he cried. He could not be wounded and be captured again...Teyla!

He pushed himself up onto hands and knees realising Ronon was no longer holding him. Rodney was also gone. He felt a cold pit in his stomach, and anger was a distant armour he wore against the enemy. It would protect him as long as he was conscious, but he knew that might not be for long. John heaved his sluggish body back into a sitting position and watched a steady drip, drip of blood soak the ground in front of him.

The bullet must have skimmed his head, but was now causing the disorientation and blood loss. It didn't take long, but his hearing started to come back, and when it did, it was with gusto.

John groaned with the thumping of it. He scraped a bloody hand across his face and threw himself against a solid weight that had started to pull at his side. There was a grunt and John felt himself being pushed over with a strength that made him fall over face first, into the dirt. He reached out with a bloody hand, watching as his fingertips skimmed over fresh blood. His vision blurred, and he thought he heard his name. He tried to respond to the call, got one knee up to push with his foot, but it wasn't something he could master without help.

Of course, he realised, the raiders, or whatever they were, must have had snipers or the like nearby. Damn. He had been so intent on retrieving his men; so sure that he was firing on all full cylinders, that he never took to heart Rodney's prior warning of the Carakans, and that they might be here to grab the spoils of the huge hives departure

Is that what they did?

But this was a wraith home world. Why would they come here? What did they want with his men?

All these thoughts swam in his head until he balked. He could now hear the discharge of Ronon's blaster and an arm wrapping itself around his right bicep.

"John. Stop struggling!" he heard Rodney cry out.

He felt relief at the sound of his voice, and started to gather his legs out from under him to help Rodney raise him up.

Standing grim, Rodney pulled and then held him up straight as he started to sway. "Hey, Sheppard?" Rodney held his face still. "Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

John shook his head – the smallest of movements but it was like a drill digging in his brain and he struggled to remain upright. His sight was black on his left side and he thought perhaps that his eye was swelling shut with the force of the bruise he could imagine covering his face. He let Rodney guide him over to where Ronon was standing in a defensive position. He felt his strong grip around his waist and prompted him forward into a slow walk. John felt this was the wrong decision; they should crouch down, hide from the enemy, so he fought weakly against him, but Rodney did not leave his side and guided him – in full height – to where Ronon stood still.

It was an effort, he thought, for Rodney to hold him up and war against where he wanted his footsteps to go, but eventually they both arrived at Ronon's side. Rodney squeezed his arm tightly to get his attention, so he raised his aching head that had fallen down to his chest, and saw at once why Ronon had stopped still.

John's vanishing eyesight took in the man walking boldly towards him, and with a surge of energy, he willed his body to stay upright a while longer to digest what he was looking at. His hand clutched Rodney's jacket to remain upright. He had to appear strong enough – gun-shot wound aside – to project to this colossal size of a man that he was the leader of his men, and he should direct any conversation his way. Looking at the size of him however; and the confidence that came with his overly large size, John knew that any physical form of communicating would not work with him – even Ronon looked small, and that was saying something. Is that why Ronon had stopped fighting back; knowing he would not have had a chance? Wise move, Ronon.

"Who'r you…?" John started. His mouth full of cotton wool. Crap, his head hurt!

"Santana." The overly large man smiled, and looked at Ronon, who was physically growling his distaste at having been captured and John being injured.

"Tell your man to back off. I presume you are their chief?"

John reacted slowly, his words slurring. Ronon; never one to talk himself, started to open his mouth.

Santana moved so fast over to him, Ronon actually stepped back one foot. "Did I address you?" He said fiercely. The thing about Ronon was that he was never intimidated; so he brought his foot forward and took another threatening one forward. His glare never leaving Santana's face.

Santana smiled. "I like you. Might even save your life." He turned towards Rodney; looked him up and down, but said nothing. He walked back over to John and nodded at four other equally large men walking his way.

"I…am their leader." John spat out, shoving himself away from Rodney's reaching hold; strength returning to him in bucket loads. He stood on his own, portrayed how mad he was with a single look at Santana, and also took a step forward; pleased it had some strength behind it. He definitely could not appear weak here. "And you are?"

"Senior Chief Carakan: Santana. You?"

John reckoned he should be honest; it may stand in their favour. The man seemed to like protocol. "Lt Colonel John Sheppard. They are Specialist Ronon Dex, and Doctor Rodney Mackay. I am here to find some if my missing men. I don't suppose you have come across them in your… travels?"

John was holding up, although he felt light-headed and his eye had now closed shut. He felt the blood still running down his cheek, but he knew that head wounds always bled fast and scary looking, but he didn't think it was too serious.

Santana didn't reply. He seemed to be sizing him up. "One of my men is not a good shot. That was only supposed to be a warning."

"For what? I don't believe this to be your land."

"Ah, but you are not a native either, so what were you doing here, eh? Runners abandoned by our friends the wraith?"

John was getting impatient. "My men?"

Santana flicked a hand in the air, and behind him the four large men mustered forward, surrounding all three men until Santana waved them forward. "With the rest." He ordered, and John and his team had no option but to walk with them.

"Do you see the size of them?" Rodney was in awe as they walked.

"Yeah." Ronon said morosely.

John stumbled once; righted himself, and shrugged off Rodney's supportive hand. "Leave him, Rodney." Ronon spoke, fully aware of the situation.

"He…I…" Rodney started to protest, but after John glowered at him, he settled into watching where they were going.

At this point, John was worried for Carson. With the 'jumper cloaked, he was safe, as long as he remained within the shield. Worry for them, though, might cause him to look further afield. The need to tap his radio to alert Carson was present, but it might alert one of them to the hidden bud, so he refrained from now hoping the others did the same.

It turned out it wouldn't have mattered if he had given the game away, because, after a short walk, coming into view in front of them were, Carson, Lorne and his two marines.

Santana chose to walk beside John and laughed softly. John could have punched him. "Seems I found your men…oh, and your puny ship…no shield gets past our scanners by the way. Interesting to capture some men who can use Ancient technology though…very interesting indeed." He started to walk faster towards the men guarding the others, but stopped to throw over his shoulder. "This will go down very well in the Circle."

As soon as they had all been gathered, John caught Carson's eye and slowly shook his head. He did not want him to come to his aid – not yet!
"Major, good to see you? Men?"

"All good, sir. Colonel, are you okay?"

John ignored him. It was plainly obvious he was not, and truth be known, he was getting angry at the attention coming his way. So he didn't answer him. He was pleased the headache was residing, and the bleeding was slowing down. All good things.

So, what do you want from us?" John asked Santana.

"Your lives!" Santana said with a grin. "Welcome to our clan. You now belong to us."

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To be continued…..