Incredibly angry citizens shouted and surrounded the stage as Zhongli was backstage, combing his hair for his next speech. The look on his face was rather.. Hard to describe. Just like the situation he was facing.''I was just trolling… I didn't think Kaeya would actually buy ALL of the adepticoin! Hahaha..hahaha..''

He makes something for the people.. FOR THEM! And they reply with this hate? With this hatred..?

He turned to Ningguang, who was staring with a deadpan. "Honey, what do you think? I'm right, aren't I? Taxes should be raised and Adepticoin should be adopted as our everyday currency, yes?"

She outright refused to reply at how dumb her husband was. How fucking stupid he could actually be.

''...You didn't say no! Hahaha!'' With that, Zhongli made his way to the podium, people already raising their torches and pitchforks in the air.

"WE WANT OUR NORMAL ECONOMY BACK!"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!"

"MY CHILDREN ARE STARVING!"

"I HAVE AIDS!" This random citizen was just.. Stared at for a couple of seconds in silence, before the yelling continued.

"Everyone, everyone! Please." Zhongli raised his arms in the air, trying to calm down the standing ovation. Obviously, they were so happy with this change that they couldn't contain their excitement, they even left in the middle of their jobs just to watch him talk. How considerate of them..

''I have good news for you citizens of Liyue! You guys reacted positively to our tax raises (atleast the 1% of you did), so I want to present a new idea that I have constructed with my team at Qixing! So, prepare yourselves! I have decided to install a NEW currency. That's right, you heard right! NEW currency!"

The angered crowd looked at each other in confusion, before turning back to the president. "What?"

"I have started.. ADEPTICOIN!" He yells in a glorious manner, raising his arms in the air with a big grin on his face. "The money that will unite us all! Through the darkness.. And the light, too! With a current value of!'' He grabs a remote, turning on a screen, showing the live value of Adepticoin. He pauses for a moment, as the results show.

''...0.00000000000000000000000001… mora?'' He turns to the crowd, his smile dropping.

''...Uhhh, whoops..'' Zhongli scratches his head, smiling.

''...Give us mora back! We don't want adepticoi-''

''About that… I kinda… destroyed the bank? Hahaha… we only have Adepticoin left!'' Zhongli states calmly, crossing his arms.

..There was a moment of silence from both the crowd and the president himself, before he rushed to the microphone.

"IT WAS KAEYA'S FAULT!"

Meanwhile.. In Mondstadt.

"IT WAS ZHONGLI'S FAULT!" Kaeya states on LIVE TV to all the citizens of Mondstadt as everyone looks at each other in confusion.

"I fucking knew it.. Those damn Liyue SCUM!"

"We should've never allowed them past the border, they're the reason we're THIS BROKE!"

Clients at the brothel began theorising on who the actual culprit was, earning attention from Childe who was supervising the area.

"Can we shut the fuck up about politics? There's literally nothing but sex sounds in here, gentlemen." He adds swiftly, shutting them up as he makes his way cooly to the entrance..

Until Diluc appeared on his field of view, and he tripped and fell simultaneously.

Mona just happened to PASS BY.

And worst of all? Diluc had caught him by his ARM.

''Watch out, kid. You nearly fell.''

No.. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HE JUST MADE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF MY FUTURE WIFE!

"Woah, you're pretty quick, Diluc." Mona added, as she looked over at Childe in MILD DISGUST, might I add.

"Uh huh, whatever." He just added as he helped Childe back up and exited out again, unwilling to press on this conversation with Mona. Sure, she was okay, but she was not Jean.

Childe was at a loss for words, completely defeated internally. How could he save the situation right now? Mona was staring RIGHT at him, before he simply..

Did a backflip as soon as Diluc was out of the frame, crossing his arms cooly as he looked over at her. "So.. my bad you had to see that. I just got caught off-guard because of the recent news. Kaeya's ruining the country and all that.."

Mona dismissed his weirdness, and clapped at the backflip. "That was actually pretty cool, though unnecessary.."

''...KAEYA IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MONSTADT! THOSE DAMN IMMIGRANTS ARE THE PROBLEM! I HATE LIYUE! I HATE LIYUE!'' Some random old guy shouts, barely holding onto his walking stick.

''...Heyyy, Childe! I have a job for you, dude! Go to the disco room, my man!'' Aether smiles, shoving him.

Shit.. I was doing so well! I'll just have to keep going when I get a different chance..

"On it, on it.." Wait, I can still take this chance as I leave. She's still staring.. So I could do something cool while I leave.. What's a cool way to exit?

Oh yeah, FRONT FLIPPING towards the disco room!

As he was jumping.. Though. He noticed a hint of RED HAIR pass by. NO, DILUC APPEARED IN HIS FIELD OF VIEW AGAIN! He had suddenly lost balance, before suddenly..!

As he found himself collapsing to the ground, a pair of hands grab him, stopping his fall.

DILUC! FUCK OFF, DUDE! FUCK OFF!

''...Hillichurl… ask if… okay?''

Childe turns around, his eyes widening.

''...''

''..Thanks, PAL.'' Childe pats him on the back violently, groaning as he walks towards the disco room doors. ''...Here we fucking go..''

Childe opens the doors, and a wave of bright colours hits his face. That's when he notices… a literal fucking child.. Crawl up to the DJ stand.

''...DJ KLEEXY… IS IN DA HOUSE, YO! LEMME HEAR YOU CHEER!''

The crowd absolutely fucking SCREAMS. Childe raises an eyebrow. Why was a kid in a brothel? What the fuck is going on?

That's when he hears three bass notes, and a rapid-firing hi-hat. What was this fucking song? Why were they saying Hey so much?

He feels his mind spin, as the heys are placed randomly, and frequently throughout the song, with no rhythm to it what-so-fucking ever.

''HEY!HYEHEYEHEYEHEYEHEY!HEYEHEYEHY!HEYEHEYEHY!EHEYEHEY!'' The crowd screams. Why are they ENJOYING THIS?

Amber is in the crowd, twerking on some random ass dude to this absolute banger. Childe stares in amazement. People like this shit?

He sighs, and finally, the song ends. People cheer, clapping.

''YEAH!''

He turns to the shouting, and sees Aether, in a fur coat with a microphone.

''I HAVE A GUN! YALL TRYNA FUCK WITH ME? I'VE GOT A GUN!'' BANG! BANG!"

His ears get absolutely fucking exploded by gunshot noises.

''PA PA! I GOT A GUN! IMA KILL UR WHOLE FAMILY! DONT FUCK WITH ME!?''

Childe's eyes WIDEN.

''I SHOOT UR HEAD IN FRONT OF UR WIFE AND KIDS BITCH! I SHOT FIVE KIDS IN THE PRESCHOOL YEAH! I SHOT FIVE KIDS IN MY HIGHSCHOOL YEAH! I SHOT FIVE KIDS IN MY COLLEGE! PA PA! I GOT A GUN! I JUST SHOT THREE CHILDREN! I JUST SHOT THREE CHILDREN! I GOT A GUN!''

''WYA HOMIE? WYA? WYA HOMIE? HOMIE WYA? DONT FUCK WITH ME! DONT FUCK WITH ME! I GOT A GUN!'' The crowd SCREAMS, as Aether continues rapping aggressively on the stage.

What the fuck is this? Is this even music? WHY ARE THEY VIBING!?

Childe has to take a break, and he takes himself out of the disco room and into the bathroom.

This is a nightmare.. Wait, is that Mr. Brightside? IN A DISCO!?

So much for wanting to get close to Mona.. No, NO! Childe, you have to get through this, that's what a man does! He puts up with shit for his girl! Come on!

Childe stiffens up, as he hears the stall next to him open. He holds his breath, hoping that he won't be noticed crying in the stall, when he hears the fattest fucking eruption ever. He actually feels the heat crawl from the absolute ferocious shit crawl into his stall. The smell. It smells as if Diluc had sliced open his asshole, and just let his bowels drop. It smelled like Ted Bundy's basement. It made him want to throw up, but no, he had to be cool!

''Ah… Fuck..''

Childe's eyes WIDEN. THAT'S…A FEMALE VOICE! WHAT THE FUCK!?

Childe breathes in, and decides to try sneaking out.

Bad idea.

The woman inside the stall next to him exits, and they lock eyes on him, and start SHRIEKING.

"AHHHHHHHHH! PERVERT!"

''NO! IT'S A MISUNDERSTA- I SWEA-''

Are you fucking kidding me? THIS IS A BROTHEL! PEOPLE GET FUCKED EVERY SECOND HERE!

''You're quite the kinky boy, aren't you?~ Coming in here to see girls poop, you like poop, huh?''

''NO! NO I DON'T! I JUST… MADE A MISTAKE! I DIDN'T SEE THE LOGO! I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU!''

''...My name's Amber. There. Is that enough for you, you disgusting pervert? Getting off on such… disgusting things..''

''NO! IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTA- MAN… I DIDN'T MEAN TO! JUST LET ME LEAVE!''

''Yeah, RIGHT! That's what they always fucking say! I'm sick and tired of it! Take those trousers off already, big b-''

Childe sprints for the door, slamming it open and running back into the disco.

''I won't hold her off for long… Shit! I'm fucked!''

Aether is still there, before he grabs a hold of the microphone. "This is a song.. I dedicate to someone very special. He's actually in this very room as we speak.."

''Oh, Aether… You're so dreamy..'' Venti, the anemo god utters under his breath.

''I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO THE TONEDEAF BARD VENTI! LETS GOOOO!''

Childe hears a familiar song play on the speakers. Wait, isn't this from 2017?

''STFU! YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT! STFU! YOU'RE A STUPID CUNT, SUCK MY DICK!''

Venti gasps, and runs out the room in tears.

''SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT! STFU! NOBODY EVEN WANTS YOU HERE! LEMME HEAR YOU!''

The crowd screams shut the fuck up with Aether.

''I JUST WANNA LET U KNOW, UR A STUPID FUCKING CUNT!''

He screams into the microphone, tone filled with aggression and malice as he raps.

''I REALLY GOTTA EMPHASISE, NOBODY CARES IF YOU'RE ALIVE!''

''YOU'RE SO FUCKINGT UGLY AND UR FACE IS FUCKING FOUL JEEZ, YOU'RE SO FUCKING LOUD! CAN YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!?''

The crowd sings with him, Childe even grinning a little. He joins in with the song, a wide grin on his face.

''CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU'RE JUST REALLY FUCKING DENSE. IF U HATE ME WHY U TALKING U DONT MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.''

''I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE IN A HIGH SPEED CAR CRASH I HOPE YOU FUCKING FALL HEAD FIRST AND GET YOUR NECK CRACKED. I HOPE YOU WIN THE LOTTERY AND DIE THE NEXT DAY! AND YOUR DAUGHTER HAS TO SEE YOU GETTING LOWERED IN YOUR GRAVE!''

Childe is the very first to start clapping. Aether is met by a standing ovation, as he exits the room, smiling.

Mona looks towards Childe for a brief moment, giving a very small smile. Maybe he isn't so uncoo-

''OH TARTAGLIAAA~! WE AREN'T DONE YET, YOU PEEPING TOM!''

Nevermind. He's uncool as fuck.