Underneath it All

by LauGS

Blaine first meets the mysterious Kurt Hummel at his brother's engagement party, and he's immediately struck by the quiet, handsome stranger. He doesn't expect their paths to cross again, but when life gives an unexpected turn, Kurt might be the only one with the power to help him save everything he cares about.

11. Chapter 11

Happy Wednesday! I hope you all had a great week.

Thanks for the comments for the last chapter. I'm so happy that you're enjoying this story so far. We're a little over halfway to the end now, can you believe it?

Thanks to Christine and Sofi for being the best team I could ask for.

This chapter is probably one of the longest ones in the story, so I hope you'll enjoy it :)

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As they waited for the laptop to come to life, Kurt looked around his study, feeling a little light-headed. He was so relieved that he was almost dizzy. Of course Blaine had had a very logical reason to be at the Berry's. He hadn't gone to defy him, to upset him: he had been there because of Cooper's flash drive, the one currently sitting on his desk.

Kurt took a bite of the slice of mushroom and olive pizza Blaine had ordered for dinner. It had arrived just a couple of minutes earlier and it was still hot. While they waited for it, they had each gone to their rooms to change into something more comfortable, and now Blaine sat next to him in a soft, worn hoody that shouldn't have been as distracting as it was. All Kurt wanted to do was wrap his arms around his husband and pull him into his lap, nuzzle into his neck and stay there.

He was used to everyone else disappointing him, everyone else doubting him or thinking the worst about him. He never wanted Blaine to be one of those people. He never wanted Blaine to look at him in the same way Finn had looked at him tonight.

I'm proud to have married him, Finn. Despite whatever differences you two may have, your brother is a good man.

Those words had felt like a balm on his soul, mostly because he hadn't expected them. He never expected anyone to defend him, and Blaine had done so completely unprompted. It had meant more than Kurt was willing to admit.

"What happens if the flash drive is password-protected?" Blaine asked anxiously, leaning a little closer to look at the screen.

"We'll have to try a few different options, I assume, until I find the right one," Kurt replied.

"And you're sure you can find the right one?" Blaine glanced at him, and Kurt could read in his big, hazel eyes just how important this was for him.

"Yes," Kurt said without a single doubt. "Cooper and I used to have a list of different passwords we would use, back when we worked together. I'm sure he used one of those."

Blaine nodded and stood up. It looked like he couldn't sit still while they waited. He grabbed the box of pizza and approached Santana, who was standing a few feet away, keeping a respectful distance. Blaine had insisted on her staying for dinner. Kurt had been half amused, half annoyed: he wasn't sure if Blaine had wanted her there because he was afraid Kurt was going to still be upset about him wandering off to the Berry residence, or if he was truly that kind and sweet and he just didn't want Santana to go home without having dinner first. It was a fine line with Blaine, sometimes.

She accepted another slice rather awkwardly. Kurt was sure Blaine didn't notice her discomfort: you had to know her well to be able to read what she was truly feeling or thinking. Kurt tried to hide a smile. Santana looked as out of her element as Kurt sometimes felt with Blaine. Maybe that was just the effect he had on people like them.

There was something sort of magical about him.

Blaine went back immediately to his side when he saw he was plugging in the flash drive. Kurt ignored the temptation to settle his hand on Blaine's thigh, to feel the softness of his worn jeans on the tips of his fingers. Instead, he tried the first password, and failed. He saw Blaine frowning out of the corner of his eye, already disappointed.

He didn't like disappointing Blaine, he discovered right then.

He probably should have still been mad. In any other circumstances, he would have been. But he realized that Blaine hadn't exactly betrayed him: he had just been after the flash drive. On Blaine's list of priorities, anything that had to do with Cooper was at the top.

He didn't allow himself to wonder what place he occupied on that list. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He tried another password, and then a third and a fourth one. Blaine started shifting next to him, his anxiety making it impossible for him to stay still. When he entered the next one, though, the screen changed.

"Oh look, Kurt," Blaine said, leaning even closer. "Look, something's happening…"

There was a folder with several files, and Kurt clicked on the first one. Won over by curiosity, Santana walked towards them and stood behind them.

"Interesting," she said, her attention unwavering. "Looks like a series of files regarding Noah Puckerman. Dates, times, observations…"

Blaine blinked in surprise. "Santana's right. This is all about Puck. Why would Cooper leave you a bunch of information on Puck, Kurt?"

Kurt glanced at the data on the screen, impassively. "It seems like Cooper figured out that Puckerman was selling Anderson Unlimited's proprietary information to the competition."

Blaine looked livid. "What? That's not possible."

"I'm afraid it is," Kurt replied calmly, as he went over the very meticulous list Cooper had put together. "It seems like Cooper got suspicious just a couple of weeks before he disappeared."

"But why would Puck do that?" Blaine asked, truly bewildered, bless his naïve soul.

"The usual reason," Kurt shrugged. "Money."

"But…" Blaine pressed the tips of his fingers to his lips. "But Coop trusted him. He was his friend."

Kurt glanced at him. Blaine seemed sincerely shocked at the turn of events. There was no way he would survive in the cut-throat business world with that attitude. Sometimes it was better to assume you couldn't trust anyone, than to trust absolutely everyone and get royally screwed over.

"I'm surprised Cooper didn't fire Puckerman as soon as he realized what was happening," Kurt commented instead, scrolling through the list.

Blaine frowned. "Maybe he wasn't completely certain that Puck was guilty. Maybe he wanted more evidence."

"Blaine, there's more than enough," Kurt said, pointing at the screen.

Blaine turned his head to study Kurt's profile, lit by the screen. "You don't sound all that shocked to find out about this…"

"That's because I'm not," Kurt said, as he opened another file containing even more dates and observations. "It correlates with what Santana and I found out during the past couple of days."

"What?" Blaine exclaimed, clearly upset. "And you didn't tell me?"

"I was going to tell you as soon as I walked through the door tonight," Kurt said, and didn't bother hiding how upset he was, either. "I had planned to give you a full recount of the events over a nice glass of wine. But you weren't here waiting for me. If you recall, I had to track you down first."

Blaine narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't you dare try to excuse your secretiveness. You must have already known about this before you went to California."

"I only found out on the way to the airport. Santana informed me," Kurt said. He closed a file and opened another. He would have to go through them one by one later, when he had more time.

"You had Santana investigate Puck?" Blaine asked, casting a quick glance at Santana, who didn't look away from the screen. "Without asking me?"

Kurt had to tap into his endless resource of patience. "I had her investigate Featly and Moss. In the process, she uncovered unexpected information about Puckerman's last trip to California. He seemed to have some very interesting, unscheduled meetings with some of Anderson Unlimited's biggest competitors…"

Blaine stood up and began to pace around the study. "I should have been kept informed."

"I'm informing you right now," Kurt said, sitting back to look at him.

Blaine pointed a finger at him. "This is just another example of your terrible communication skills."

"Blaine, please be reasonable, I just found out about this. There hasn't been time to brief you," Kurt said calmly.

"Are you telling me you had no idea this was going on when you called me last night?" Blaine asked.

"I didn't want to discuss it over the phone," Kurt pointed out.

Blaine pursed his lips disapprovingly. "I told you very clearly that I want to be kept informed on any major developments that have to do with Cooper's company."

Coldness spread through Kurt's chest, and he couldn't keep the bite out of his words: "Yes, I know. His precious company comes first at all times, doesn't it? Don't worry Blaine, I'm very aware of what my role is in all this. I'm supposed to save Anderson Unlimited for you and, believe it or not, I'm doing my best."

Something flashed in Blaine's eyes. He bit his lip. "I didn't mean that I don't think you're doing your best. I know you are. I just don't like not knowing what's going on."

"I told you right from the beginning that you would need to trust me, Blaine," Kurt said softly.

Blaine seemed to be about to say something else, but then glanced at Santana, a little embarrassed, like he had completely forgotten she was in the room with them. Santana was stoically ignoring the quarrel, but her presence was enough to make Blaine say: "We'll talk about this later."

"Yes, let's table it for the meeting we're going to have later. There are a couple of items on tonight's meeting agenda already…"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Don't you try to intimidate me, Kurt. It won't work."

"Just stating a fact," Kurt said and returned his attention to the screen. "This looks like the last of your brother's notes."

Blaine hurried back to his side, falling on the chair next to his and leaning in to be able to read along. "It's dated only two days before he disappeared…"

There's been a change in the pattern. I suspect Puckerman has a new contact in New York. Not related to the California crowd as far as I can tell. This is a fresh development and I don't like the feel of it. There's something more involved here than a little routine corporate espionage. Puckerman's more nervous than he was a few weeks ago. And there's a lot of money involved. Too much money. I checked Puckerman's bank accounts. I pay the man well, but not that well. I could fire the son of a bitch now and be done with it. But I'd rather find out more about this new arrangement before I give him the ax.

Hummel, if you're reading this, it's because Blaine has found this flash drive and asked you for help. It means that for one reason or another, I'm not in the picture. I don't know what to tell you, because I haven't got anything more to go on than Puckerman's actions, evidence of the money he's salting away, and a solid hunch that this is more serious than I thought at first. You and I both know things can get tricky when there's a lot of cash involved.

If Blaine comes to you, my friend, I'm going to hold you to that promise you made to me a few years ago. Take care of Blaine and Joanna for me and we'll call it even, though God knows I'm the one who owes you, even if you're too stubborn to accept that. By the way, my advice is to keep Blaine out of this. If I know him, he'll be on a one-man crusade for truth and justice. You'll want to handle this with your own methods, and he probably won't approve of the way you do things.

Blaine immediately spun around on his chair to face Kurt. "What the hell does Cooper mean with that last bit? What's that about you making him a promise years ago? What exactly did you promise and why?"

Blaine's questions were frantic and Kurt wasn't particularly eager to answer them. He turned the screen off and reached for another slice of pizza. It had gone a little cold, but he didn't mind.

"You must remember what I told you about that incident that happened a few years ago," Kurt said at last.

"That business with the arms dealer?" Blaine asked. "John Taylor?"

"Jacob Taylor," Kurt corrected. He took a bite of pizza, as he allowed the memories of that night to come back to him. They weren't pretty: the darkened warehouse, the sound of gunshots, a dead body bleeding on the floor, Cooper rushing towards him, blue eyes wide and frightened, to check he was okay. Cooper wrapping his arms around him in a way no one had since his father had died, squeezing tightly. You saved my life, he said in a bewildered whisper. "That night, I told your brother that I owed him for helping me uncover what was going on in my company. I told him that if I could ever repay that favor, he had to let me know."

He didn't tell Blaine that Cooper had laughed almost hysterically, the adrenaline still very clearly coursing through his body, and told Kurt he was insane, that he was the one who had the debt. But Kurt had waved that away – he knew deep down that Cooper would have saved his life if the roles had been reversed. I owe you, he had insisted. You helped me.

Cooper had rolled his eyes and punched him in the shoulder in that brotherly way Kurt had never quite understood. "Sure, you owe me," he had said sarcastically. "You owe me big time, Hummel."

So Blaine didn't know to read the tone of the note like that, like an inside joke. But Kurt did, and it made a knot appear in his throat. Cooper was a good man. Whatever had happened to him… he hadn't deserved it.

Blaine stayed silent for a couple of minutes, clearly still processing what they had just read, what Kurt had just said. "I see," he said at last, his voice so soft, and Kurt could sense the hurt right underneath his words. "Well, since Cooper wanted you to be in charge, what should we do now?"

Kurt tilted his head to look at his husband. Without realizing what he was doing, he reached for his hand and held it, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Blaine, your brother didn't mean to imply he didn't trust you."

"Don't you think I know that?" Blaine murmured, but he seemed upset. "But he sure as hell did not think I was capable of handling anything on my own."

"That's not fair, to you or to Cooper," Kurt retorted calmly. "He just knew you didn't have any experience with companies the size of Anderson Unlimited, and certainly not with things like industrial espionage. You did the right thing when you turned everything over to me."

Blaine chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. "Did I? Somehow, it seems like everything's getting way too complicated…"

Kurt looked at him. "I know you're upset, but this is not the best time to be having second thoughts."

"I know," Blaine said, so quietly Kurt could barely hear him. He glanced up at Kurt from under those unfairly long and dark eyelashes of his. "We're in this together, aren't we?"

Kurt squeezed his hand again. "Of course we are," he said. He wondered if Blaine was having second thoughts for real, if he was starting to regret their hasty marriage.

He didn't have time to wonder long, because Blaine pulled his hand free and said: "So what are we going to do? About Puck, I mean. Fire him?"

The abrupt change of subject made Kurt feel like he had been slapped and he needed a few seconds to gather himself again. "I don't think so," Kurt replied, and looked up at Santana, who was still standing there next to them. "It's always better to know your enemy before you make any decisions. We'll do what your brother intended to do. We'll give Puckerman time and see what he does, and we'll catch him in the act. In the process, we might even find out who his client is here in New York. We might need that information in the future."

Blaine ran a hand through his hair, loosening some of the curls from the gel. "I'm having a hard time thinking of Puck as an enemy."

"You haven't had much experience identifying enemies."

Blaine's eyebrow arched as he looked at his husband. "You know something, Kurt? Sometimes I see why you make people nervous."

Kurt turned to look at him, his blue eyes sweeping over Blaine's handsome face, looking for signs. "But I don't make you nervous, do I, Blaine?" He asked very softly.

There was certain defiance in Blaine's voice when he said: "No."

Subtly, Kurt glanced up at Santana and gestured towards the door. Without saying a single word, she left, the sound of her heels the only thing breaking the silence that had fallen in the study. Kurt waited until the door had closed behind her to turn back to Blaine.

Blaine seemed to get a little restless. He crossed and uncrossed his legs, reached for his bottle of water and decided against taking a sip at the last minute so he put it back on the desk, and then simply stood up and wandered away, stopping by the large window overlooking the city.

"I suppose you'll assign your robot to watch Puck?" He asked from there, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Santana is excellent at surveillance work," Kurt said simply.

"She certainly gets lots of practice and keeps her skills sharp working for you, doesn't she?" Blaine said, his voice turning brittle. "Lots of work within the family to occupy her, and now you add keeping an eye on Anderson Unlimited's competition. I don't know how she'll get anything else done…"

It took just a couple of seconds for Kurt to connect the dots and realize where he was going with that. "Blaine, I didn't assign Santana to watch you while I was out of town."

Blaine didn't turn away from the window, the lights of the city framing him like a halo. "You obviously knew exactly where to find me, Kurt."

"Not because of Santana," Kurt said. He stood up and took a few steps towards Blaine but didn't get too close. He stopped with enough of a distance between them: enough to bother him, enough to give Blaine his space. "Your note worried me, so I called the shop, then Joanna, then Tina. She told me you were probably after the elephant."

"Really?" Blaine muttered, glancing at him briefly. "You were worried?"

"Blaine, you left a note saying something unexpected came up, and you weren't answering your phone," Kurt said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I may not be as communicative as you may like, but I have never lied to you, and I never will."

Blaine paused and then something seemed to relax within him. He let his arms fall, like he didn't need to hold himself to keep himself together for now. "I believe you."

Kurt nodded, but when Blaine remained at the window, he took a couple more steps towards him, still a little worried. "What's wrong, Blaine?"

"Everything," Blaine said, sounding tired. "I've been worried enough about Cooper as it is, and I thought I was handling it. I thought I was doing everything I needed to do in order to hold things together for him."

Kurt's eyes were fixed on the curve of his shoulders. He could see the tension on them. "You mean that by marrying me, you thought you had taken all the necessary steps to protect the company? And the baby, too, of course."

"Yes," Blaine said with a sigh. "And now this stuff with Puck… I just don't know what to think." He turned slightly, looking at Kurt. "There's more going on than we suspected, isn't there?"

"Maybe."

Blaine frowned. "What do you mean, maybe? You don't think that everything we just saw puts a new perspective on Cooper's disappearance?"

"Like I said, maybe," Kurt repeated patiently. "We don't know for sure, Blaine. We don't know if there's any connection between Puckerman's little espionage sideline and your brother's disappearance. They might be isolated incidents."

Blaine didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around himself again.

"That's what frightens you, isn't it?" Kurt murmured. "The possibility that Cooper might have been murdered?"

Blaine shuddered visibly. "It's not a possibility I contemplated until a few minutes ago."

Kurt hadn't heard him this hopeless before and it broke his heart a bit. "Blaine, most of these cases end up being only about stealing information. Puckerman's probably only a thief and a liar, and not a murderer."

"God, I hope you're right," Blaine sniffled, and he raised his hand to wipe his eyes. "But Coop was uneasy enough to leave that flash drive for you."

"Yes."

"He must have been worried. Maybe he thought he was in danger. He specifically asked you to take care of me and Joanna if something happened," Blaine said, looking helpless. Kurt nodded. "That's precisely what you're doing, aren't you, Kurt?"

"I'm doing my best, Blaine," Kurt whispered.

Blaine gave him a tiny little smile. "You're a good friend, Kurt. Coop said you were. He said that you were dangerous, but that he trusted you."

Kurt closed the remaining distance between them. He caught Blaine's chin on the edge of his hand, gently. He could feel the growing stubble against his skin. "You and I are more than friends now, Blaine. We're lovers, who happen to be married."

"I guess so," he said forlornly.

"I know so," Kurt replied, and bent his head just enough to brush their lips together, lightly, enough to feel the tension leaving Blaine's shoulders. He, too, felt more relaxed now that he was this close to Blaine. He hadn't realized how hard it had been to go to California and not see him until now.

He'd grown used to Blaine, to having him close, to seeing him every day. He had grown used to calling him his husband, and he did so proudly.

A shiver seemed to go through Blaine, and then he was throwing his arms around Kurt and burying his face on his chest. He hugged him so fiercely that Kurt felt breathless for a moment.

"What are we going to do?" Blaine asked quietly.

Kurt wrapped his own arms around him, keeping him close. He pressed his lips to the top of his head. "It's going to be alright. I'll take care of everything."

"Just as you always do?" Blaine said with a choked laugh, burrowing even closer. "Try not to make me too nervous in the process, okay?"

"Trust me, Blaine," Kurt said softly. "The last thing I want is to make you nervous."

Blaine tilted his head up and captured Kurt's lips in his, taking him a little by surprise, but it was a very, very welcome one. Kurt tightened his grip around him and kissed back at once, loving how Blaine immediately parted his lips to give him more access, to give himself entirely to Kurt.

The brief time he had spent apart from him suddenly seemed to fill Kurt with a kind of urgency he hadn't experienced in a very long time. He shifted so he could fit his arms around Blaine's shoulders and behind his legs and he lifted him up, smiling a bit at the little whoop he let out, and how he grabbed onto Kurt for dear life. But he immediately kissed him again, like he too was feeling that same urgency.

Kurt carried him out of the study and down the hallway to his bedroom. Blaine seemed perfectly happy to simply kiss him, until he put him down on the bed, and he sat up abruptly.

He blinked owlishly at Kurt, like he was trying to clear the fog of desire, and said: "Oh, no. No, no, Kurt. I'm going to stop you right there."

Kurt instantly took a step back, chill spreading through him, worried. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes, I think there is," Blaine said, looking at him with a speculative guess.

"You can tell me anything," Kurt murmured, as he sat on the edge of the bed, keeping a few inches between them to make sure Blaine wasn't uncomfortable.

Blaine turned a bit so he could face him and took a deep breath. "Have you noticed that you are just as in charge of what happens in the bedroom as you're in every other aspect of your life, Kurt?"

The question wasn't exactly what Kurt had been expecting. He arched an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you had any complaints."

"We might need to try something that diplomats like to call a shift in the balance of power," Blaine said.

Kurt stared at him, uncomprehending. He felt restless, so he stood up again. He had no idea where Blaine was trying to go with this. "What do you mean, Blaine?"

The smile that Blaine gave him was daring, but there was a hint of uncertainty in it. "Tell me something. Would you be afraid to let me run things in here for a while?"

Something that had been twisting in concern seemed to loosen up inside of Kurt. Blaine wasn't pushing him away. "I'm not afraid of you."

Blaine's smile widened a bit. "Then prove it."

"How may I prove it?" Kurt wanted to know. He had never quite cared about the element of unpredictability, but he found it quite entertaining in Blaine.

Blaine took a deep breath and then stood up. "To begin with, stay right where you are," he said. "Don't move."

"If that's what you want," Kurt said with a little shrug, like it didn't matter to him, but the truth was that he was intrigued. "What are you going to do?"

"We're going to play a game," Blaine informed him. "First, I'm going to undress you."

Blaine began to work on the buttons of Kurt's crisp white shirt. There was a bit of uncertainty to his fingers, his hands shaking slightly, but Kurt could see the determination on his face.

"Okay," Kurt said, and reached for the hem of Blaine's sweater.

"Oh, no, no," Blaine took a step back, out of reach, and slapped Kurt's hands away. "You're not allowed to touch me. That is the first rule."

Kurt looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "There are rules?"

"Yes," Blaine replied, and resumed unbuttoning his shirt.

Kurt smiled down at him, deciding he would indulge him, but as soon as Blaine's fingertips grazed his bare chest, Kurt let out a little shuddering breath. "Blaine…"

"Don't move," Blaine reminded him sternly. "I've been telling you all along, Kurt… you're too controlled. You need to lie back and let others be in control every now and then…"

"But I like being in charge," Kurt replied. He tilted his head down as Blaine removed his shirt, and took the opportunity to nuzzle into his neck, where he smelled amazing.

"I know you do. Now stop that, you're not allowed to kiss me yet," Blaine chastised him.

Kurt felt a whine building in his throat, but he managed to hold it back. And Blaine thought self-control was a bad thing… "Why not?"

"Because I said so," Blaine said firmly. "This is my game, remember?" As he said this, he stepped back and observed Kurt, standing shirtless in front of him, clear interest in his gaze. He lifted his hand and traced the curve of his shoulder.

The look in his eyes made desire pulse through Kurt. There was no doubt that Blaine wanted him, not with the way he was looking at Kurt, the way his eyes were shining, the way he bit his lower lip as his thumb traced a circle around one of Kurt's nipples. Kurt felt himself hardening, very fast. It was possible that Kurt was starting to have trouble keeping control when it came to Blaine, he realized.

He instinctively took a step towards Blaine, needing to be closer, but stopped obediently as soon as Blaine shook his head, disapproving.

"You're not taking your clothes off?" Kurt asked, and there was an edge of eagerness in his voice.

Blaine's hands travelled down his stomach and started undoing his belt. "Eventually, sure."

"Why do I have the feeling that will be a long time from now?" Kurt murmured. He was now fully aroused and Blaine hadn't even done much yet, not more than brush his fingertips on his bare skin.

Blaine lifted himself on his tiptoes and kissed him, his lips soft on Kurt's, slow and deep. Kurt kissed back, but Blaine pulled away before he could push his tongue into his mouth and show him in a more graphic way exactly what he wanted to do to him, the desire that Blaine was awakening in him. He moved down, kissing Kurt's collarbone, down his chest, over his navel, as he sunk to his knees. Kurt let out a shuddering breath at the sight: Blaine on his knees, hair curling at the edges, lips parted, big eyes looking up at Kurt in a way that shouldn't have been as innocent as it looked.

Kurt groaned as Blaine slipped his hands into his pants and pulled them down, taking the underwear along with them. He was acutely aware of his erection, curving up right before Blaine's face, his warmth breath on him. When he reached to wrap his fingers around him, Kurt truly worried for a moment that he was about to lose it and come just from that.

He had no idea what the hell was happening to him.

"You're really beautiful," Blaine whispered, thumb slipping down the vein on the underside of his cock.

"Blaine," he said in a rough voice. He let his hand find its way to the back of Blaine's head and buried his fingers in the dark curls. "This has gone far enough. Let's get into bed."

"Alright," Blaine agreed, far too cheerfully. "Go ahead. Lie down."

Unfortunately, Kurt hadn't realized that would mean Blaine would take his hand off of him, that he would no longer kneel at his feet. He rose smoothly and headed to the bed, pulling back the comforter.

Kurt followed him and wrapped his hand around the nape of his neck, trying to pull him close. There was a hunger burning inside of him that he knew he would only satisfy if he kissed Blaine and slipped his tongue into his mouth, if he got him on the bed, parted his legs and buried himself deep into the heat of his body.

This was insane. Only one night away from him and he felt wild with urgency.

"Nope," Blaine said, clearly very pleased with himself. He moved away, out of reach. "Not yet. Get on the bed, come on."

Kurt allowed him to push him down onto the gray sheets. He wanted to reach for him again, but knew it would be pointless. "What about you?"

"I'm going to get undressed," Blaine said.

"About damn time," Kurt growled. "Let me help you."

"Nope," Blaine said again, smiling. "You, Kurt, are going to watch."

He grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it up and over his head, letting it drop to the floor. Kurt let his eyes roam over the dusting of dark hair on his chest that lead down, down, down and got lost under the waistband of his jeans. Blaine was compact but muscular and as he watched him, he just wanted to grab him and throw him on the bed so he could put his mouth all over him.

Blaine very, very slowly, torturously so, popped open the button of his jeans. Kurt couldn't look away.

"You're taking your damn time about this, aren't you?" He asked roughly.

Blaine had just slipped his fingers into the waistband to pull down his jeans but paused. His hazel eyes filled with disappointment and uncertainty. "Don't you like it?"

Kurt stared at his naked chest, his own body wracked with an aching need that was very, very quickly pushing towards the brink of sanity. "I think I like it too much."

Blaine sighed faintly. "I'm glad," he said and wiggled out of his jeans. He was wearing the smallest, most mouth-watering black boxers Kurt had ever seen.

"Come here," Kurt said in a husky voice, forcing himself to look away from the boxers and up to Blaine's face.

But Blaine shook his head as he put a knee on the bed, pressing his hand against Kurt's thigh for balance. "Not yet, Kurt. We have long, long way to go."

"Like hell we do," Kurt muttered and reached for him again.

Blaine was quick to get away. He stood up and took a few steps away from the bed, before he turned around and headed to the dresser. "This is my game, remember? I'm the one in charge tonight."

Kurt let out a little curse under his breath and let himself fall against the pillows. He took a couple of deep breaths to try to regain some control. "I don't think I'll be able to take much more of this little game of yours, Blaine."

"Really? Well, I'm surprised you say that. You're the one who taught me to play it, Kurt," Blaine said with a little smile, and then turned around and started searching in one of the drawers.

Kurt stared and scowled at the line of his back and the roundness of his ass in those goddamn boxers. "What are you talking about?"

When Blaine turned back to head to the bed, he was holding two of Kurt's silk ties. "You've been giving me lessons in this game since the first night we spent together. Although… you never tied me to the bedposts, to be fair."

"Fuck," Kurt whispered, watching him approach. He eyed the ties a little warily. "You're not serious about this, are you? I thought I was the one who had a reputation for being weird…"

Blaine shrugged. "Don't worry. The ties are symbolic. We both know you could break free if you really wanted to." He stopped right beside him and looked down at him. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to, so… can I?"

Kurt's blue eyes focused on Blaine's face. He knew what Blaine was asking of him: tying him meant he couldn't take control of the situation. And he was a little turned on by the idea, he wasn't going to lie, and least of all to himself, but he wasn't sure he could deal with not being in absolute control of himself, his body and every single aspect of his life, including sex with Blaine. Losing control meant he was vulnerable. Being vulnerable had never really paid off, not in Kurt's experience.

He considered grabbing the ties, ripping them from Blaine's hands and throwing them across the room before he threw Blaine down on the bed and fucked him so hard he would never dream or think about these stupid little games anymore…

"Kurt?" Blaine murmured, and there was hesitation in his voice again.

He looked unsure, and suddenly smaller, shrinking in on himself. If Kurt wanted to take charge of the situation, now was the perfect time, because he didn't think Blaine would actually protest. But now it was Kurt who hesitated, because in Blaine's nearly-golden eyes he found something he hadn't expected: he was disappointed.

He was disappointed that Kurt wasn't understanding what he was trying to explain to him. And Kurt hadn't imagined that disappointing someone could hurt him this much. He didn't want to ever see Blaine looking at him like that.

It wasn't a game to Blaine, not really. This was important.

And Kurt hadn't trusted anyone in years, but he realized that if he wanted things to work with Blaine, he would have to learn to trust him, too.

For a second or two, neither of them moved. Then Kurt slowly relaxed against the pillows. "If you want to play, Blaine, let's play."

He was rewarded with Blaine smiling at him like he had given him the moon. He reached for Kurt's right hand and let his fingers trace the inside of his wrist, sending shivers down his skin. "Thanks, Kurt. I promise I won't hurt you. You can break free anytime."

He brought Kurt's arm back over his head and started tying his hand to the bedpost. He was gentle about it, and Kurt could tell at once that the knot was a joke: he really could tug twice and set his hand free. It wasn't about making him submit or making him vulnerable just for the sake of it: there was something else here that Blaine wanted him to learn.

Blaine got on the bed and straddled him in order to tie his left hand. Kurt closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he felt Blaine's ass pressing against his erection.

Once he was restrained, Blaine smiled, clearly satisfied, and leaned in to kiss him. His mouth was warm and perfect against his, and Kurt kissed back in earnest, as he wrapped his fingers around the ties that bound his wrists, tugging slightly to resist the urge to break free and hold Blaine instead.

Blaine broke the kiss sooner than Kurt would have liked and let his lips trail down to his neck and his chest. His fingers traced the contours of his body, feather-like, and Kurt couldn't understand how that seemed enough to push him closer to the edge. It was nowhere near enough, and yet it was too much.

Blaine certainly took his time sliding down his chest. When he was face to face with Kurt's hipbones, he kissed there while his hand slid between Kurt's legs. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, too softly, not enough pressure, and stroked him. Kurt let out a jagged breath as he watched Blaine shift until his head was level with his crotch, the warmth of his breath right where Kurt felt more sensitive.

When he replaced his hand with his mouth, Kurt arched slightly off the bed, ripples of pleasure coursing through him.

"Blaine," he said in a rough voice. "I don't think this is going to work."

"How can you say that?" Blaine asked, pulling off. He licked around the head. "I think it's working wonderfully. Just like the book said it would."

The words took a moment for Kurt's brain to process. He frowned. "What book?"

"I read a book to prepare for tonight," Blaine explained. Kurt felt the light scratch of his teeth on the underside of his cock. "It's called Three Nights with the Amazons. It was very informative."

It was very difficult to follow the conversation, but Kurt made the effort. "You… you studied for this?"

"Of course," Blaine said simply, and licked around the head again before gently touching the slit with the tip of his tongue. Kurt swallowed back a groan. "I wanted to get it right."

Kurt had to use all the self-control he had left, which admittedly wasn't much, not to thrust and get the warmth of Blaine's mouth right where he wanted it. "Why did you feel like you had to study for this?"

"I wanted you to understand exactly what it's like, Kurt," Blaine said, shifting down so he could kiss the muscles of his thigh instead. Frustration gathered down in Kurt's belly like arousal. "I wanted you to know what it's like to be the one who isn't in control."

Kurt wasn't proud to admit connecting the thoughts was getting progressively more and more complicated. "Later," he grumbled. "We'll talk about this later."

Blaine had gone down to his knee now, which was probably the last place where Kurt wanted him. His fucking knee. "Alright," he agreed nonchalantly.

Even his voice felt like torture, travelling across his skin raising goosebumps. "Fuck this. It's enough, Blaine. Let's finish this the way it's meant to be finished."

He could feel Blaine's smile against the skin of his calf. "There's no rush. We've got all night. Isn't that what you always tell me whenever I start to beg?"

Kurt glared down at him. "I am not begging," he said, indignantly. "I'm merely telling you that if you don't finish this, I will."

Blaine was suddenly gone, taking all his heat with him. Kurt was cold as he watched him get up and walk towards the nightstand. "You know as well as I do, that if you truly wanted to, I wouldn't be able to stop you…" He opened the first drawer and rummaged in it. "You're bigger than I am. You're strong. You can free yourself very easily, but you know that would ruin my game…"

Blaine closed the drawer, lube and condom in one hand, and stroked down Kurt's naked chest, glancing at his naked body with eyes full of want. The way Blaine was looking at him made Kurt's cock twitch against his stomach.

"Blaine, for god's sake," he muttered brokenly. "Sweetheart, enough is enough. I can't last any longer."

"Now you know how I feel," Blaine whispered and surrounded him with his fingers again, the grip too loose to do much. "You have to let yourself go, Kurt. I'm the one who is in control tonight."

Kurt threw his head back as Blaine settled on top of him, the weight just perfect on him.

"I want to make you go wild," Blaine whispered into his ear.

Kurt was baffled at his words, but not as baffled as he was at the little whine that escaped past his own lips. "Why would you want that?"

"Because it's what you to do me," Blaine explained as he started kissing his throat. "I'm going to show you what it's like to be helpless. Just a little taste of your own medicine, Kurt."

"What about you?" Kurt asked.

Blaine raised his head so he could smile down at him. "I'm going to watch you."

"Watch me?" Kurt repeated in dismay.

"Yup, just like you watch me when we're having sex," Blaine replied calmly.

Kurt groaned and tilted his head back when Blaine went back to kissing his neck. It felt better than he was willing to admit. "I didn't think you had complaints about it. I know you like it. You can't hide it."

"No, I can't hide it, you're right," Blaine nodded and the tip of his tongue traced a line from the dip of his throat to his collarbone. "But I don't like feeling like I'm the one who loses control while you remain completely composed. I feel like I'm a puppet and you're the puppet master. I need to know that I can make you feel good, too."

"Of course you make me feel good, this is crazy…" Kurt protested.

Blaine ground his hips down, giving Kurt's cock some much needed friction. "After you've surrendered, I'm going to make you do it all over again. And again, and again, and again, as many times as you can take it. And then, when I'm ready… I might let you fuck me."

Kurt could feel a bead of sweat making its way down his temple. He was so close already. Before he could think of something to say, Blaine was gone again, sliding down his body, his mouth everywhere but where he was hard and desperate. Kurt followed his every movement, not taking his eyes out of him, and saw him reach for the lube.

Kurt thought he was going to get at least a bit of relief, that Blaine was going to slick his hand and stroke him to get rid of some of the tension building in him. But when Blaine instead reached behind himself, Kurt let out the second whine of the night.

"Fuck, Blaine," he said. Watching Blaine stretch himself was enough to feel the orgasm building inside of him. He hadn't even noticed when Blaine had slipped out of his boxers. He was so far gone that he wasn't entirely conscious of what was going on. "This has gone too far."

"We haven't even begun, Kurt," Blaine said mischievously.

"Like hell we haven't," Kurt growled and tugged on the ties until they came undone and he was free.

Blaine didn't try to stop him when he reached for him this time. He let Kurt wrap his arms around him and turn him so he was the one lying on the bed now, Kurt on top. He held onto Kurt's arm with fingers slicked with lube. His cock was hard and pressing against Kurt's stomach – he was just as aroused as Kurt felt, then. His little game had taken a toll on him.

"My sweet little sorcerer," Kurt groaned, reaching between their bodies. He slipped his hand between Blaine's legs, where he was wet, but still not stretched enough, and he let out a little noise in protest. He couldn't wait, and he didn't want to hurt Blaine by rushing him if he was still too tight.

Blaine simply smiled up at him, clearly unconcerned with his predicament.

With a frustrated grunt, Kurt removed his hand and pressed himself against Blaine, their cocks aligning a little awkwardly, but it was enough to send him into a bit of a frenzy. He thrust against him and realized it wasn't going to last, and that Blaine was nowhere near where he was. Unable to stop himself, Kurt thrust against him once more and exploded, burying his face in Blaine's neck to stifle his moans, his entire body jerking with the pent-up tension that had been building in him since Blaine had first touched him.

His climax was rampant and unstoppable, like a river that had broken through a dam and could no longer be contained.

For the first time in many, many years, Kurt realized he had lost control.

---

It felt like an eternity later when Kurt finally came back to himself. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked down at Blaine, who smiled up at him tentatively. In the cold light of his returning sanity and self-control, Kurt saw some wariness in his eyes.

Kurt frowned and touched his cheek, the roughness of his stubble against his fingertips. "Is that what it's like for you?"

"I don't know," Blaine murmured. "What was it like for you?"

"Intense," Kurt replied, and then thought for a moment and added: "It was good, but it just wasn't good enough."

"Why not?" Blaine wanted to know.

"You weren't with me."

Blaine seemed relieved. "That's exactly what it's like for me, Kurt. It's hot and it's erotic, and you definitely get the job done, but I feel like I go through it completely alone."

"Because I'm just pulling the strings?" Kurt said and Blaine nodded. "Fuck." He rolled onto his back. It was pretty obvious that Blaine hadn't found his own satisfaction. He was still hard, his cock resting curved and hard on his thigh. "If you'd let me stay in charge, we both would be in the same state right now."

But Blaine shook his head. "No. You don't get it. We wouldn't be. You would still be exercising that amazing but kind of annoying self-discipline. You'd make me come three or four times before you allowed yourself to follow me."

Kurt glanced at him, eyebrow slightly arched. "I make you come?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Fine, enjoy your little macho pride for a moment. Yes, you do make me come. As often as you want. It's like you use my body and it makes me feel so helpless, Kurt. And sometimes it's great to feel helpless. Sometimes that's exactly what you need. But not all the time. I don't like having absolutely no power. I want to have the same effect on you as you have on me."

"This is about power, then?" Kurt said.

"In a way, yes. Shouldn't we be equals in this?" Blaine asked, searching his face. "We're supposed to be lovers, after all."

"Of course we are," Kurt said, a little growl in the back of his throat. He didn't like that to be questioned.

"Well, then we should share sex, not make it a contest of wills," Blaine explained. "We should enjoy together. We should enjoy each other. You're allowed to touch me – I love it when you touch me, actually. But I want to be able to touch you, to make you feel good, too. Do you understand?"

Kurt studied him for a second and then nodded. "I think I'm starting to, yes."

"And you don't like it one bit, do you?" Blaine said sadly.

Kurt reached to run his fingers through Blaine's dark curls, loosening them up a bit more. "I'm not saying that. It's just that this is new for me. So I might need time to adjust."

Blaine considered him for a moment. "Are you saying you never had sex that wasn't about power before?"

Kurt closed his eyes. Memories flooded him, vague and almost foreign. "Yes, I have. It's just… it's been a long time since I've been that vulnerable. It's been a long time since I allowed myself to let go. I don't… I don't really remember what it was like."

Blaine cupped his cheek, thumb stroking the edge of his jaw. "You can let go with me, Kurt."

"Thank you. I'll do my best to get it right," Kurt said, and let his hand slip down Blaine's body, where he was hard and waiting.

Blaine paused. "Kurt?"

"If we're going to try for a more egalitarian approach to sex, we should probably start on equal footing, don't you think?" Kurt murmured, wrapping his other arm around Blaine to pull him on top of him.

Blaine shivered as Kurt stroked him lightly. "I suppose."

"We should make sure that we're even then," Kurt murmured and lifted his head to catch Blaine's lips in a searing kiss. "So that means you need to catch up with me."

Blaine frowned down at him. "Wait. I think we need to talk about this again. I don't think you understood what I meant…"

Kurt brushed their lips together and reached for the lube that Blaine had abandoned between the wrinkled sheets. "Don't worry, baby. This time we'll make it happen together."

"Really?"

"Really," Kurt assured him.

Blaine beamed at him and kissed him. "I knew you'd get it. You're not as arrogant and thick-headed as most people believe you are."

Kurt kissed a line from his mouth to his ear and caught the lobe between his teeth. "Good to know."

He slicked his fingers as he kissed him and then reached behind Blaine to help him finish what he had started. He used two fingers and Blaine groaned at the delicious stretch, immediately rocking back against his hand, silently asking for more.

Kurt was ready to give him whatever he asked of him.

---

EVENTFUL, AM I RIGHT?

I can't wait to hear all your thoughts about this!

Have a great week, see you next Wednesday!

Love,

L.-