AN: Alexa, play the Pot by Tool ;)

Chapter 10

I am patiently waiting for the blonde, and my mental state is in shambles. I am so disconnected from reality. Everything had been flowing swimmingly. I foolishly believed I was well over my inexplicable attraction to Axel. The previous three weeks had been manageable. I am not completely unaware that my green-eyed keeper is now my ideal type. I acknowledge that he is a marvelous sight to behold. However, I have consistently been capable of resisting any temptation to transgress the restrictions he has placed. My actions moments ago have to be the culmination of my addiction's initiatives. And when I expel the smoke from my lungs, I curse the blasted impairment beneath my breath. It must be the source of these sick demands congesting my mind. I have discovered that it governed the bulk of my life. To be honest, I respect it in particular instances. It gives me the assurance to pursue men without being intimidated, like most people are. However, for the sake of my sanity, I pray it will sever the impulsive and obsessive ties with Axel. And I realize I need someone else's flair to remind me that he is off limits.

A loud noise arises from my right, and I observe the wooden frame of the fence door swinging open within the low lighting. A hooded figure stalks across the entry, shutting the door, and I see his visage acknowledge my existence on the porch. His strides carry him to the terrace's stairs, where he elevates both hands to shed his hood. He immediately beams at me. It's difficult to imagine I thought of him as anything other than harmless.

"Hey there." As he aligns his vision with my leaning stance, his head dips to the side, falling over his shoulder. "What would you like to do?" I do not respond; instead, I offer him the joint. The day was wonderful, but after my mortifying slipup with Axel, I am beginning to detest people and the world I reside in. I am in a foul mood and consider sending Seifer home to save him the hassle of my waning spirit. He chuckles and snatches the joint, taking a deep drag that renders the chalky ashes dense and limp. "I heard you were over at Aqua' s."

"Who?"

"Aqua? She's a total bombshell with blue hair and killer curves. Thanks to her big tits, hips, and ass." He growls and has a dreamy gleam in his eyes. I swear he is going to drool buckets, and I am picture myself getting a mop to tidy up the mess. "She threw a party at her place."

"Ah, right. I know the one." I snicker at his juvenile phrasing. If only his voice were more soothing to hear outside of his flirting.

"Are you alright?" He wonders aloud, then takes another suck from the compounded mix of leaves. He presents it to me, his orbs straining critically.

"Hmm…I should be soon." I murmur more to myself, and my countenance softens in proportion to his concern, and my lips offer him a paltry grin.

Rather than smoking, I prefer a different euphoric chemical. I make my way to the seats ringing the firepit in the porch's nook. I catch a glimpse of Seifer's silhouette in the glass door as I flick the joint onto the pile of ash from a distant midsummer fire. He is pressing behind me to get into a chair. I dismiss my own reflection, instead focusing on the black room on the other side of the glass, searching for the person who is occupying the area. My focus, however, drags to Seifer. He was ranting about missing Aqua's gathering, and I assure him that he had not missed much. I did not summon him here to listen to him speak. His voice is shrill like nails scraping along a blackboard and I have to combat the impulse to plug my ears whenever he speaks. The only suitable movement from his mouth is it merging with my own.

My legs creep forward, and they crawl onto his lap while he is mid-sentence. Whatever he was muttering freezes in his throat, and I seize his jaw with both of my hands, dragging his face to mine. My lips gently push into his, and I shudder at the thought of kissing him delicately; the same kiss I attempted to share with Axel. And I promptly mold my lips fervently into his, and he groans from the extra pressure. As he sinks into the low-back chair beneath him, I feel hands hold my hips, pulling me closer. His neck cranes to adjust to my touch and I wrench his jaw apart with my grip, prodding the moist cavern with my tongue. My pelvis touches his waist, and I grind my growing length into his tense abdomen. As our tongues roll across each other, his hands are roving all over, urgently pursuing skin rather than clothes. I abruptly climb away and rise to my feet. As I stand proud and fearlessly in front of the sandy blonde, my blue orbs remain locked with his.

For a brief minute, I was apprehensive about where we were; my neighbors may see us, or worse, the vermillion haired man sleeping obliviously through the glass paned door. I giggle because a sinister part of me hopes he will stumble upon me once more desecrating myself with someone other than him. My responsiveness returns to the needy blonde before me. His breath is heavy, with a scar decorated gaze distorted from cannabis and the bursts of passion I imparted to him. I hastily unfasten my jeans and wriggle out of the restrictive material before discarding my boxers. The frigid air sails along my bare skin, compressing the follicles of hairs stippling the dermis. I flung the clothes away and pull on the enormous black sweatshirt before recognizing Seifer, who was also undressed, however more streamlined. The materials of his bottoms are stretched firmly against his parted ankles, his dick weighing heavily on the crease of his athletic thigh. His slit beads with droplets of pearly fluids, and I advance forward, easing back into his lap.

My face rises above his, and I move in closer through the puffs of cold induced vapor to nibble at his bottom lip. My teeth dig into the skin pulling on it lewdly, and his face winces. His hand forcefully grabs my chin and draws my mouth flush with his. In return, he bites pruriently into my lower lip, and I moan into the exertion. My fingers run through his sandy hair, snagging in the large locks atop his crown. Seifer's other hand slithers beneath my sweatshirt and kneads one round globe. In reaction to his touch, my hips rock forward, and he clutches the mound of meat even tighter, tugging it apart. A rush of cold blasts at the heat between my private areas, making my clenched hole tremble.

"I am gonna be inside you." He growls directly into my mouth. Normally, his voice makes my ears want to bleed, but when it is steeped in lust, the tone is burly and jagged. There is no trace of the intrusive whine it is usually cloaked in, and it is far more enticing. "This time, no interruptions."

"Mhmn...now stop talking and kiss me." I insist, and he answers attentively. The kiss is vigorous on both of our parts. My knees are wedged between the cushion and the wicker of the chair when my body firmly descends upon his thighs. His cock brushes up against the slope of my ass and the tip prods at my hole. "Stretch me out..." I moan breathlessly as he smothers me with sticky lips. His tongue proceeds to probe my mouth while I murmur, "...Ahh, so you can…put it in me." He is my student and I play the role of his teacher. As the pressure of his hand goes from my ass to the seam of my thigh, I suckle on his snaking tongue. The pads of his fingers tickle the skin of my sac, then the tender path of flesh to my hole. Before pressing in, a single appendage rubs concentric circles on the hypersensitive pink ring. I chirp and cringe away from the rough intruder. He only got to the first knuckle before withdrawing it promptly upon my distressed noises.

"There isn't any lotion." He mentions while dissolving our kiss. His gaze is aridic with need, and his hand rushes from my ass to beneath his chin. He lusciously kisses the tips of his fingers, then slides them into the place my tongue had been studying. He sucks on them proactively, making my limbs tremble. "This will have to do, right?" His skull leans to the side, and he beams slyly at me. He licks his lips then resumes lapping on his fingers, his head rotating, the ligaments of his neck flexing throughout the lights, and he groans in time with the activity, making my now eager cock bounce against our sandwiched stomachs.

"Looks wet enough." I whisper wantonly.

"You can never be too sure, Rox." His eyes darken, and a ravenous smirk shifts the hills of his face. He tuts and wags his finger at me, then fiercely spits into his palm and reaches across my body to rub the slick across the cleft of my cheeks. I yelp in response to the unruly motion. He hastily replaces his finger, and I grit my teeth at the rapid intrusion. He did not bother playing things slow this round, the pad of his finger curls deep into my velvet inner walls. He rips his finger out, then instantly reinserts it.

To refrain from making too much commotion and disturbing the morally justifiable saint inside, my teeth dig into my lower lip. He drags his finger along the slippery smoothness of my rippling insides. He commences scissoring me open with a second slender finger. My neck wrenches back, and my sight is drawn to the eternal cosmos overhead. Soon after, a slimy feeling accosts my bare neck, followed by painful punctures replacing the slick sensation. I blurt out a startled cry into the blanketing night as a consequence of the combined pleasure. I throw an arm behind me. My quivering hand glides among my thighs, and my fingertips search for his own. I recognize the warmth and wetness of his efforts right away and convulse at the depravity. He moans as I stroke at the stretched rim he was violating.

"Give it to me." I taste his lips, bending my face forward.

"Let me hear you beg for it." He grunts while licking my jaw.

"Fuck you." I snarl at him.

"You have bite, Roxas." As he whispers into my ear, his fangs tug at the lobe. "Hmm, but so do I." His fingers completely retract, and my skin stems as I feel a stream of saliva trickle from his fingertips onto my thigh. "Fuck me, huh? Wasn't that your plan all along?" He returns his hand between us and spits into it before it grazes the front of my body, travelling low and for a split second it contacts my clothed leaking cock. He grips at his own stiff manhood and his other palm pushes into my lower back, pushing my waist closer to him. "I've been waiting for this."

Before slipping within, the tip of his cock slickens my entrance, rubbing back and forth. He swings his pelvis upwards, and the length of his dick sheaths itself to the hilt. His hips are flush with my ass cheeks, and my skull is inclined forward. I tuck my face against his shoulder, panting into the navy cotton. His forearms are cradled, his hands grasping the bottoms of my thighs and round ass. He holds me for a fraction of a second to permit our connected bodies to acclimatize to the exploit. He pries our lower halves apart, raising me until only the tip is within before lowering me so that only a mere half his shaft is buried, and my knees fidget as the modest pull and press teases my twitching insides. Fortunately, Seifer is doing all the hard lifting; otherwise, the weaved wire would slash my knees apart. He picks up the pace after gradually extending his divots into me. Our hips have not made full contact for several minutes, so I am bobbing above his hips, bouncing up and down as he sets a routine with his tremendous biceps.

"You're so tight." His tone is pitched.

"Hah…have you never had…ahgn…anal?"

"Girls are, mmn…picky." He says this with a concentrated expression, and I giggle at how adorable it is.

"Does it…ohhh - ngn…feel good, Seifer?"

"Like…hah, a peach." His head drops back, and at the mention of the fruit, his hips surge forward, slamming against my ass. My lurid hole has adjusted entirely to the breadth of his cock, and he suddenly decides to drive the entirety of it to the recesses of my stomach.

As Seifer becomes engrossed in the satisfaction, his initiatives make a loud smacking sound that darts across the yard. His jabs into my soft tissues are arduous and unpredictable, wavering my movements, and the slit of my untouched cock is smearing on the textiles of my top. With each pump of the blonde dick, a false sense of stored attachment to my babysitter claws its way up from my subconscious. Its sweet nothings are hushed whispers, offering hollow promises about Axel and his previously divulged sex drive. Telling me that it was cruel that he preferred Namine over me.

Why couldn't it have been me?

The demons in my head become bolder, bringing flashbacks and irrational fantasies of Axel to the forefront of my awareness. Seifer's breathy gasp scarcely awakens me, and I choke on the knot developing in my throat as I remind myself that it was the blonde, not the redhead, fucking me. My mind is jumbled by how obsessively I want my ex-best friend to pry me apart with his massive hands and slam his monster dick into me. Yearning to see him squirm with delight, gasp my name, and call for more of me. Every day, he is within arm's reach, yet I could not dare lay a finger on him the way my psyche is now begging me to. My writhing form is quivering with exhilaration, but my soul is burdened with despair. The potential of my mentor rocking wildly into my quivering hole has me unleashing a sultry moan, but there is no room for feelings like concern. My emotions are crowded with only anguish and bliss. Sick impulses are coursing through my body and seeping into my bones. It is getting unbearably difficult to deal with the conflicting feelings. I am near sobbing; my illustrious moans are weepy because the agony I feel is so acute. I am not sure why I want Axel so badly. My eyes begin to ache and Seifer's grip on my ass hardens. His movements strive to drag me back into reality, but my thoughts rewrite everything around me.

The sound of the chair striking the timber intertwines with the reverberating slapping of flesh. I was blissfully unaware that I have been wailing madly with each brutal plunge into my body. Seifer's body is slack in the chair, his brows are furrowed, and he stares at me as if I were some legendary divinity conferred upon him. His lower lip is hooked between his incisors, and his eyes are glued on me, his blonde hair disorderly as it loops on the seat's rim. A blazing glow in my peripheral attracts my attention away from Seifer's meticulous vigil to the formerly pitch-dark living room. My breath hitches as the soles of the previously sleeping saint's feet shift from hanging off the couch to the area rug. He awakes and swivel his head in my direction. He resembles a deer struck with spotlights, and I cannot contain my laughter as I mentally thank the heavens for his sudden appearance.

"Mmm, something funny?"

"Hah…ah, your fingers tickle." Without glancing at the blonde, I lie to the man below me. My interest was riveted on the redhead as he relocated from his seat to the pathway behind the couch.

A part of me fears that he may rip Seifer away, but that dark place my brain is inhabiting decides to entertain the notion. This is what Axel deserves, regardless of how he intends to act out. It may also be a lesson for my current partner who nags me for sex daily. The irony of the situation is glaring. All other snide thoughts are drowned out by the thrilling sensation of getting caught again, and my body jolts whenever Seifer drives his cock deep into me. Axel seems dejected, nodding side to side, but then, unexpectedly, marches into the kitchen, disregarding us entirely. The response is contrary to my earlier expectations, and I am grateful that he does not stop me from taking refuge in the embrace of another. I draw the hem of my pullover to my chin so that I may distract the blonde underneath me.

"Lick it." I issue the order, and the blonde lets out a guttural resounding whine. He leans closer, and a palm creeps up my spine between my shoulder blades, as he kisses the pink buds of my chest. I let out a lengthy groan while his tongue flicks the straining tip. His teeth nip at it before enclosing it wholly in his lips. I watch as Axel walks back into the living room, straight ahead of me, without turning around to confront my sex fevered form. Here I was, making a fool of myself for someone who was not going to give me the time of day. Seifer's unrelenting invasion on my feeble and convulsing hole persists, his tongue lapping at my soaked nipple, but my concentration is split between two competing entities: Seifer praising my body and Axel shamelessly avoiding it. My innermost desire has been in control since the moment it dredged up thoughts of Axel, and it chooses who means more in this moment, as if the result was not obvious, and on the following push into my heaving form, I become a wreck incapable of ignoring. I beseech to the crimson haired observer aurally, "Pleeease!"

"Hah, what do you want, Roxas?" Seifer's inquiry is muffled, from either my chest or my lack of care. When I notice the man before me pause in his tracks and turn his head, peering over his shoulder, an overwhelming rush of elation pours down on me like fresh rain. He is so attractive that it is hurting my feelings, and I am scrambling to cope with it.

"I want you!" I howl, disregarding the blonde's question completely. My voice is velvety with nymphic intents as well as broken from desperation. The sound gains his full attention, and my mouth forms a delicate shaky smile in relief. I am confident I appear perverted and utterly out of my wits. His entranced green eyes have a gentle appearance before he chews into his lip and furrows his brows. His countenance is pained, and the hint of guilt I sense vanishes as I hear Seifer answer my cry for Axel.

"You want more of me, hmm?" Seifer ponders, ramming fervently into my gripping core. The tall redhead spins on his heel and firmly faces my withering frame. He regains his equilibrium as he observes me reach for the rapturous finale. His forearms are clasped tight to his breast, and his focus is unrelenting as he grants me his undivided attention via a squinting glare. It serves to remind me of his remarkable self-control a few weeks ago, while he watched me drill my own hole on the settee for him. My hands descend from Seifer's hair to palm my own cock. I yelp from the unexpected warmth as I grasp the crown, its flesh is frigid from pre-cum dribbling out of my slit. I quickly glide my fist down, tightening the head and base and loosening my hold along my shaft. As I concentrate on my passive spectator, I create a rhythm.

"That's it! Yesss…just like that." I hiss sharply. My gut clenches as a pleasant warmth courses through my circulation. The blonde asks whether it feels good. Although, I am not paying attention to him right now, because this moment was for Axel. The moment his eyes fixated on me; true pleasure enveloped me. A fundamental part of me identifies that I am not human for accepting such iniquitous ideas. "You're gonna make me, uhnn - come!" I whimper. Axel's vibrant green eyes darken, and the corner of his tense lip twitches.

"Fuck! You're squeezing my dick, Rox. I'm going to blow my—." His thrusts become sporadic, and I lean forward to bury Seifer's face in my chest to mute him. His lips lock around my untouched nipple, circling the silky skin with the tip of his tongue between harsh sucks.

The sound of my sopping wet insides merging with the clap of our thighs encompasses us, and I moan pathetically all for Axel to hear. The venomous green orbs have not left my hazy blues, and the smoothness of the moment between us is hypnotic, beckoning me to shatter into utter delight as I rut my spasming cock into my hand. I am an anchor going under, sinking into the depths of devotion for the redhead, unswaying as Seifer's flinching cock soaks my pulsing inner walls. My shirt falls from my chin and my gasps become stuck in my throat momentarily as I feel the familiar heightened tingle burn my gut. My brows flex, my eyelids flicker, and I gush fiercely into my hoodie while belting out a sudden operettic cry.

The redhead's chest swells in a deep inhalation that I presume is a long, aggravated sigh. With his eyelashes cast towards the ground, he combs his fingers through tangled strands of red, before retiring to the couch. My vision shutters a few times after he has made himself at ease, and a flood of shame pours over me as realization settles in. My cheeks burn, and my sight becomes drawn to the blonde underneath me. His irises are milky, and he still peers at me as if I were a divine sex deity. He is positively radiant. Even with the scar on his face, all I see is youthful grace embellishing his contented expression.

"That was incredible." His cheeks tremble as he grins up at me shakily.

"Mhm. It was." I back out of his lap and grab at my boxers to wipe myself off. My knees were a little raw and burn with the movement. "You should get going though."

"Ah, so you like to hit it and quit it...I respect that." He rises from his seat, his arms extended above him, and his back arches. As I retrieve the dusty clothing off the ground, he smoothes his shoulders. Seifer's gaze scans the sparsely decorated yard before settling on the now-lit home.

"When did the light turn on?" His voice chirps with alarm.

"Um, the lamp is on a timer." I lie to the cherub faced man. "My parents get home around this time." I pepper the previous fib with another falsity to pressure him into leaving.

Seifer nods and rushes over to me rather than the exit. He leans in and kisses me on the lips gently. I almost backpedaled out of the unexpected, sweet touch, instead I remain awkwardly still. "I can hardly wait 'til next time." He puts his hood up over his head and turns away, going for the steps.

"Sure, me also. But bring a condom next time." I chastise his retreating form. And I can hear a mirthful chirp escape his vocal cords as he departs my lawn.

My senses survey the desolate night for any sign of my neighbors. There are zero nosy bystanders, and I am left to reflect on the night. My damp flesh shivers with dread at the inevitable trek inside and confrontation with the most likely enraged redhead. He should know my shenanigans enough by now. At the absolute least, he should be pleased that I remained at home and spared him the trouble of tracking me down. I want to fully dress, but the idea of walking around in two pieces of sticky apparel bothers me more than just wearing a soiled top. The pullover, after all, shrouds my body down to my upper thighs. The one article gave enough coverage to travel upstairs overlooked.

Now that I am alone and delaying going inside, I cannot shake this awful rotten ache in my chest. I could not put my finger on why I felt repulsed. My fiendish disability has been nourished for the evening, but I have never felt so vile. Even while I used Axel as material in Riku's bedroom. In my mind, rubbish is presented, and I realized it was the most appropriate portrayal. I felt like a piece of garbage. And, as entertaining and perplexing as the night was, I felt terrible. Anything the redhead has to say could not possibly make me feel more miserable than I already do. I glance around and consider spending the night on the deck swing. My folks would be mortified if they saw me partially naked resting outdoors. And now that I was not intertwined with another warm body, the cold chill in the air was brisk on my bare legs. I grasp the handle and gradually slide the door open, evading the crackling board as my feet delicately contact the tiles within. I am standing behind the couch, and Axel is laying on his back. A sluggish arm rests a throw pillow over his face. His red hair sparkles as it webs against the coarse, flowery sofa cushion. When I hear his muted tenor mumbled into the material, I am assessing his posture.

"Did it feel good at all while you deceived me?" The resting figure huskily asks. And my eyes widen with surprise.

"Uh, it was enough. He is still unfamiliar with men, but I can train him." As I peer at him, I lean into the top of the couch and rest my chin on my folded arms. He rips the cushion away from his face and shoots up straight, a lethal glare fastened on me. I giggle at him because he has a tangle of bed hair.

"You're really cheeky, Roxas. You know that?" His voice is scathing, and I extend my position upright from the couch. "Did you want to argue with me…is that it?"

"Excuse you!? I simply answered your question!" My hands are steadying my stance with the cushions, fingers paling with the grip I have in the fabric.

"Read the room, Roxas!" His one hand his clutching the pillow on his lap as he grits his teeth at me. "What was he even doing over here?"

"Don't play dumb, Axel. You know the drill... I wanted relief, so I invited someone over who could assist me." My frame retracts and I place my hands on my hips, snapping my neck to one shoulder. "Was I meant to simply climb into bed and pretend to be the innocent little baby you've been aching for me to be?"

"I see you've got some jokes. You are a born comedian!" He bites out sarcastically and as he swivels his body more, one of his feet connects with the floor. His jaw tendons are flexing, and I can tell he is incensed. Exactly as I anticipated he would be. "Stick to what you are good at, Roxas." He hisses at me spitefully.

"Jokes on you, I'm good at getting fucked!" I hiss back and jut my face forward. If this was a pissing contest, I was certain to win. "You saw that for yourself." I open my palms and brush them along my outline, emphasizing my untidy look. Although it had previously brought me euphoria, the image of him watching Seifer and me through the glass made me want to vomit. And suddenly, I did not care if I won or lost the discussion. I want space, clean air to breathe that is not polluted by the seductive fragrance of Axel. He has every right to be irritated. I conned him into something he despised. "I'm going to bed," I say hastily, "I don't want to talk to you if you're drunk." My feet are exclusively aimed at leaving the area and I am almost to the stairwell, then I hear the brisk shuffling of the lumbering man trailing me.

"Luckily for you, I got the chance to sleep it off. It is a shame I had to wake up to your Babylonian activities on the porch!" He directs his shouts at my back.

"Really clever, Axel. He was giving me what I need!" I bite out, swallowing down the frustrated scream searing my larynx.

"Does he even like you?" He swiftly asks, I almost asked him to repeat himself. I had no time to register his words or their implications.

"I don't know, and I sure as shit don't care if he does. Why does that even matter?" My body spins around to face him. My hand is resting on the banister, for the purpose of swiftly barreling my way up the stairs if the topic gets too heated. Yet, I was still engaged in the discourse. Axel's fascination hooks me in once again. His gaze is lured to my naked legs. They recede to my face, and his cheeks have grown a bright scarlet.

"He looks at you as though he just wants to…use you. As if you were a fleeting sliver of—-" While he reveals his findings, his temper softens. He should have figured out by now that I prefer to be treated like a piece of ass. But he is still unfamiliar to this side of me, so I give him the benefit of the doubt. "You should have sex with someone who...cares about you. And they should be meaningful to you as well."

"Aww, how romantic of you. Not surprising, your thought processes are rather archaic." My throat vibrates with a snicker as I fire him a look of complete incredulity. His gaze sweeps the room, as if he is too ashamed to continue speaking about this.

"So, you're not interested in dating him?" His inquiry proved me wrong; he was embarrassed over something entirely unrelated. And I have absolutely no idea what it is.

"No, for God's sake! Axel, I have several partners." My body cringes instinctively at the concept.

"And Hayner?" His eyes flutter to mine with an inquisitive expression. My mind grapples for any logical rationale to explain why he was prying me about such private things.

"What about him? He left." I did not realize I was squinting at him as though he were a small child begging their mother for water before bedtime.

"I thought you were smitten with him. You spent so much time together…and…"

"And now he's gone. We never even dated!" I flung my hands in the air. His theories horrified me. I figured now was the perfect opportunity to educate the redhead on all things 'Roxas.' "I'm not into dating, Axel. I only have sex."

"You should be saving it for marriage. And you have to date to marry..."

"Says a book written by an inventive guy and translated a billion times!" I break the silence by barking the point across the room.

"Roxas!" He roars, his voice sickened by me.

"By that reasoning, your cultish ideologies are motivated by sick delusions. Getting married is the practices' creepy road to sex." As I bend over, the words slip right into his outraged face, I am two steps above, preparing to evacuate the area. "I'm simply getting right to the good stuff. You did it too, remember?" I hiss harshly.

"Roxas, this is serious. You'll inevitably get hurt. More importantly, it's a sin, remember?" He leans forward, and we are nose to nose. I can feel his breath on my skin. I choke on his heavy exhale as the recollection of his flavor rushes over my tongue.

"Save your breath, Axel. I don't fucking care!" As I lunge up the stairwell, my piercing shout is tempered with disdain. "I have issues that your concerns won't solve. I'll deal with these urges anyway I see fit." I return my gaze to him at the top of the banister and confidently clarify.

"Everybody is volatile, Rox. Everyone doubts their decisions when they feel vulnerable. You can control it just like everyone else." His retort scorches my skin, and I let out an indignant growl before slamming my palms on the railing, rattling the beams.

"If only it were that simple, Axel!" I holler at him and toss my head side to side. "Diz found that I have an addiction…I. Am. A. Sex. Addict. So please - excuse me - if I don't give a rat's ass about God - or your opinions on my personal matters!" Axel's eyeballs are the size of Saturn, his jaw is tense, and mouth agape with bemusement. My nostrils flare as I take deep breaths to slow my racing heart. The humiliation of my admission strikes me in the belly, I bare my teeth, because the grief from earlier returns. I prevent the tears from escaping their respective ducts, but my voice reveals my mournful disposition. "Axel…go to bed. I'm sick of talking about this." I say timidly, my voice trembling.

I stalked to my bedroom without looking back. I am so annoyed as I traverse the chamber in rapid, short steps. A nail scratches the side of my ribcage as I remove my hoodie, and I hiss in distress. I underestimated the situation and found myself taking back my previous sentiments. Anything the redhead had to say could make me more miserable than I already was. Cursing loudly, I sling the clothing onto my computer chair. I yank at the blankets as I flop into bed and attempt some regulated breathing. In the dark, I rummage through my recollections for the specific chants Diz suggested I try the next time I needed to find release.

My muscles are taut from anxiety - or last night's fling with Seifer. Nevertheless, after slipping out of bed, I found myself stretching on the black carpeting. I centered on my breathing. Upon expanding my belly, I inhaled five seconds and then exhaled for the same measured moments. This meditation technique soothed me and primed me for the day ahead. Any residual traces of yesterday night's events were banished by the concentration. I aimed to keep it that way. With Axel away until Monday, I would have plenty of time to conjure a means to apologize to him for blowing up. After all, I had put him in yet another complex scenario, testing his boundaries when I had already agreed not to do so. And beyond that, I bestowed upon him the heavy burden of my personal troubling and tedious issues. He did not deserve to share any of the torment. I am hopeful he will forget about my condition all together. However, knowing him, he will clutch it like a prized possession and spring it on me when I least suspect it.

To retain my senses, I tug at the tips of my toes and repeat the timed breaths. Anything that is complicated about the world and my existence evaporates. It is a dreary day outside, and I am watching puffy streams of condensation flutter across the grey sky from my window. My stomach gurgles immediately, triggering me to ingest something soon. As I descend the stairs, I discover my father in the kitchenette. The drapes of burgundy and cream tartan are folded over the bay window. As he reads the daily tribune, the subtle gleam of shrouded daylight emphasizes the creases on his forehead. A flicker of red erupts to the side of my vision, and I experience a transient anxiety attack on my neurons.

"Oh, good morning...Sophie went to the store," he pauses, "she told me to tell you before I left. " At the bottom of the stairs, Axel meets me. I give him a blank stare; my morning ritual having served to pacify my aggravation from the night before. "Hey, Rox…" Axel says as he ties his boots, "Can I speak to you outdoors for a moment?" I return my gaze to the kitchen, where my father's shadow stains the sage tiles below. My stare returns to Axel's awaiting green orbs. I grunt and shrug my shoulders, and he gives me a ghostly contented chuckle. I follow outside, and the door has barely sealed behind me as he whispers pensively.

"I apologize for raising my voice yesterday." His pursed lips run over his teeth, each corner of his mouth pulling up one after the other, and the appearance somewhat cute.

"I'll accept your apology if you can accept mine." He nods in agreement. This is precisely what I hoped. It was the overall conclusion I formed after a few moments of meditative calisthenics. His attitude is eased, as he languidly rocks back and forth on his heels. "Alright, let's forget everything that happened last night."

"I'm afraid I can't, Roxas. You mentioned some fairly significant things, and it's been having an impact on my conscience." He was not looking at me when he conveyed his apprehensions. Instead, he was combing his clothing for all of his valuables.

"What exactly do you mean?" I queried meticulously. As he struggles for words, his glance switches to me and then to the canopy.

"I want to assist you with more than just your schoolwork. I want to be available to you…in whatever way you require." He is staring at everything except my face. He appears to be intrigued with the little panel window that outlines the front door. "To be honest, I dread the notion of you going about town having sex with anyone who would have you. You're inflicting harm upon yourself without even realizing it." My brow furrows as I analyze his words, and he adds, sighing, "So... if the necessity arises, I'd want to serve as a type of…sanctuary for you. Someone you can rely on to aid you with your...needs."

"Why would you do anything like that for me?" As I examine his daring offer, my eyelids slit.

"I am concerned about your safety and future. This...issue of yours is merely another impediment to your attention on more important concerns."

"No."

"What?"

"Are you offended, shocked even?" I lean onto the railing behind me, my hands propping me up, and I cross my calves at the ankles. "You pretend as though this invitation of yours is a gift from above, but it isn't."

"And why is that?" He travels away from the door and aligns himself ahead of me.

"Axel." My neck relaxes, and I curtly rotate my neck and shoulders to lessen the freshly generated tension. Then I rapidly push off the banister and advance on the redhead until his back is against the porch's foundation wall. We are tucked into the side, out of sight from the terrace window, and I whisper gingerly, "I crave being choked...with my ankles at my ears…" My hand rests on his chest and daintily creeps downwards until it is directly over his waistband. My eyes fixate on his as I enunciate slowly. "…a brutal smack to my ass…while being fucked so hard that I forget my identity and shoot come all over my own face." His lungs come to a standstill as his airways cease their circulation, and his pupils are vast as he blinks so rapidly his lashes could shed. I peek around the yard to ensure our privacy, before backing away from his startled figure. When I address him once more, I state matter-of-factly, "Can you give that to me, Axel? Because to be frank, I don't believe you have it in you. So, give up this insane concept and... stick to what you're good at."

"What gives you the idea that I am not good?" He wanders away from the wall, and it is his turn to pursue me. I retreat from him, and my thigh strikes into the wooden rocker. My vision alternates between the item and his commanding presence.

"I don't need your pity or support with this, Axel." My hand rushes out to his abdomen to stop him.

"I don't feel any pity. I just think there are too many bodies distracting you." He taps the bottoms of his boots against the cement. He overlooks the yard, and his captivating facial profile greets me. "If you're going to teach Seifer, why not me?" He asserts almost under his breath, still looking into the bleak nothingness before him, before gathering himself and continuing somewhat assertively, "Look, think of it like the drinks I take at parties for you. Simply share your addiction with me too." His hand climbs to my palm and sweetly captures my wrist, dropping it to my waist. He passes around me and descends the stairs. "Don't dismiss the idea just yet. Give it some consideration first." He adds, returning his gaze to my unmoving image before him. My pulse stutters as he beams at me. He does not give me enough opportunity to protest to the offer before strolling to his parked vehicle on the curbside. His hands start fumbling in his pocket for his keys, and I am left wondering why I feel the need to resist him to begin with. Even though I had every right to deny Seifer, I had not. He was a bully and a pig. But he was handsome, and I succumbed easily. Axel is infinitely better than the blonde, why falter with an answer.

Come on Roxas. You were crying out for him last night. So, why turn him away now?

The day passed, and I spent the bulk of it fighting off recollections of the two times things got steamy with Axel. My body became increasingly turned on, aided by Axel's readiness to assist me in getting off whenever I want. As I attempt to ignore my thoughts and capitalize on my studies, the echoes in my conscious pressure me to give Axel's notion due consideration. I dismissed any thoughts of calling him and telling him how much I would appreciate having him consume all my libido. He had a fixed belief system that I have never been able to break. He had also drawn a very clear line not to cross. And here he was breaking his own rule. Demolishing the line of simplicity, he so desperately needed, for what exactly. Which made it challenging for me to comprehend whether this was such a simple affair for him. There must be hidden motives or at least fractures in his convictions. Said fissures are sure to be eventually stitched back together. And this would leave our relationship estranged and even more complicated than it was. I had enough of dwelling on his request, so I rationalized that finding someone else to fuck would suffice. Just like it has always been.

It is the Friday following Thanksgiving a week later. Sunday, the congregation was deeply appreciative of their testimonies. After each tale, everyone was overcome with thankfulness. Axel and I have been acting normal throughout the week. We avoided openly exploring his plan and instead focused on studying together. This week, after treatment, I unlocked my phone to see a private message from Demyx. The days that followed were spent getting to know one another and forming a tighter bond. After the blonde sent me some flirtatious texts, I found myself easing into his enticing words and enthusiastically joining in. Throughout the week, I slipped out to a few parties, my redheaded shadow hard on my tail. He gave in to our initial proposal and got drunk, and to my surprise, I started wanting to attend the gatherings just to see Axel lighten up and act recklessly with the other socialites. Each following day, I regretted the past time, and I could see Axel had as well.

Despite my body's fatigue after the week, I slipped out to another soiree this evening. My dutiful babysitter is sitting alongside me on the couch, and we are both watching two idiots wrestle for twenty dollars. Before leaving home, I stole a pint of vodka and chugged half of it in the powder room upon arriving. Axel is completely oblivious and smiling from ear to ear as he pays attention to the lads below. A throng has gathered around the sweaty, struggling figures. I get off my perch and proceed to the kitchen to gather some more munchies. The fever on my skin is fading with each sip of water and snack I consume. In the corner, a familiar figure is speaking with a delicate blue-haired 'bombshell.' Terra's focus shifts from Aqua's to mine. I nod his way as I feel a warm body brush against me from behind.

"Are we hoarding snacks?" Axel laughs in my ear and reaches around me, snagging a handful of pretzels from my plate. Terra's gaze drifts away from my face and back to his partner ahead of him. I huff in annoyance and spin to face the redhead.

"Regarding your proposal..." His stare shifts from the brunette behind me to my own. I try not to concentrate on why his eyes were set there in the first place before asking, "Were you being sincere... you really believe you can handle it?"

"I wouldn't have volunteered if I wasn't confident." His attractive features are complemented by a meager smirk.

"What about God?"

"It's for a good cause…I'm hoping he can read my soul well enough to fill in the blanks."

"I just worry you're not entirely sure about what you're throwing yourself into. It will be problematic if you back out down the road. So, I find it difficult to believe you when you present something so serious as this. After all, you're not even interested in men."

"Yet, I am drawn to you. That ought to count for something." Questions buzz about his gemstone orbs, and I sense the fraying thread of my tolerance.

"I thought you liked things to stay simple."

"I was kidding myself, Rox. Things with you stopped being simple three years ago. They will never go back to being easy either. So, you are going to have to show me a little faith."

"Prove it." I urge.

"'Scuse?" His alluring visage is flecked with confusion.

"Prove your sincerity, and I'll accept to the offer."

"How would you prefer me to initiate this? Would you like me to kiss you or something?" He stares blankly and sways his head to one side. "But we've already done that."

"You are right. So, think beyond the box. I won't touch you until I'm convinced." I fold my arms and, instinctively, my hip arches to one side as I legitimize my pompous stance.

"Ah, well then…" He casts a peek behind me, and his face brightens, his lips tugging into an exuberant grin. "I've got an idea!"

"What? You're not obligated to confirm anything at this exact moment!" I shriek as his fingers surround my wrist and drag me out of the dining area.

"If not right now, when?" He guffaws ahead of me. "I'm not willing to let you evade this again. I might as well get started!" The contest of who was stronger had been brought to an end in the living room. We proceed past the people who are still congregating in the area, and Axel guides me down the narrow corridor that is lighted by every single wall sconce. Axel's boot collides with a door gracing the wall to our right, ripping it open.

Axel and doors do not mix. Noted.

"Xaldin~" Axel hollered across the small room to a terrifying man who is cleaning up a jumble of weird gadgets. My stomach sinks with extraordinary trepidation as I notice a strange massage seat in front of the rolling chair on which the hefty man is situated.

"Axel?" He was taken aback, rising from his seat and laying down an object akin to a Dremel.

Axel breaks away from me, and they lock arms with each other gesticulating a secret handshake. The room lacks overhead lighting, instead relying on a spot lamp in the corner with a branching arm to illuminate the space. The brilliant rays are aimed squarely over the leather bench in the room's center. A wheeled toolbox is next to it. Miniature glasses of colorful liquids sit atop the metal apparatus. I instantly grasp the significance of this space, and my hand whips out for Axel's wrist amidst his chatter with an old friend.

"You have free reign over my temple, sir. Be gentle with it!" He informs the towering behemoth as I draw him to my side. An inebriated stranger enters the room to speak with the black-haired man and I appreciate the diversion as I want Axel's full attention.

"This is a terrible idea." I warn, and Axel responds with a snicker. His emerald orbs are glassy from alcohol, and I am envious that my own tipsy has worn off.

"Why is that, hmm?" He slips my hand off his wrist. His palm brushes up against the crown of my skull, ruffling my hair. "I thought you demanded proof?"

"It's alright, I believe you. So, let's just head home." A flashing red flag descends on my conscience, signaling me that Axel would detest this far more than engaging in sexual activity with me.

"Roxy, I'm sticking to my guns. He has already agreed to do his part. And I am not going to budge. I promise you that." I bounce on my heels anxiously as he walks back to the artist seated in front of him. "'Sides, I trust him!" He calls as he lies back on the bench. Xaldin is preparing his station, and his only reaction to the assertion is a short lift of the brows.

I am an overseer bound hostage, like if I were witnessing a horrible car wreck occur right in front of me. I could not tear my eyes away from Axel as he gleamed at whatever concept Xaldin uttered. The black-haired guy has only addressed my presence once, referring to me as a child, and I would be more appalled by the title if I was not preoccupied with fretting the consequences of Axel's rash behavior. I could not endure it any longer. I dash out of the room and race to the liquor table. I down a couple drinks from the bottle I had hidden while Axel was busy trashing his life for himself. The heat envelopes the lining of my esophagus, and I exhale in satisfaction. Terra immediately joins me and inquiries about my evening. I would be impressed by his small talk and casual dalliances if I was not thinking of Axel and his loose propensity to ride the breeze while he is intoxicated.

Should I have tried harder to persuade him not to go through with it? Is this a strategy for him to express just how committed he is about his promise?

I was not his closest friend anymore. I could have called Demyx to beat reason into him if I had enough time.

"It's difficult for me to keep my attention away from you. You resemble someone I know." The desirable brunette says, and I am about to reciprocate Terra's compliment, but I hear Axel's lively accent shouting for me over the swarm of inebriated revelers. My focus pivots away from the tall figure in front of me and toward my caretaker. I am immediately struck by the noticeable alteration in his flawless appearance.

"There you are." He says this in a sing-song tone that softens his raspy baritone. "Ah…Terra, is it?" The moment he notices the brunette, he drapes his arm over my shoulders and tucks me against him. Slyly, Axel purrs, "Greetings and salutations."

"Hello, Axel. New look?" His face is void of any emotions.

"These? Well, I promised someone important that I wasn't as puritanical as they imagined." He replies, and my eyelids flutter with disbelief. With Axel closer, my neck cranes to examine his face and the new ink that has been applied on it. He claimed to trust Xaldin, yet there were two visible marks on the top of his cheekbones immediately beneath his eyes. The placement of his commitment was put somewhere so obvious that I wished I had been there to stop him. The tattoo was comparable to tears however, forming the reflection. Flipped thin triangles in shape, colored a deep indigo, shining purple, but initially appearing black. My knees feel weak, and my thighs burn at how much more attractive and wilder he appears. Just when I thought he could not be any more my type, he continues to become a perfect view.

"Terra, I apologize for cutting things short." I cast a quick glance towards the man in front of us and mutter, "However, we must go."

"As always, it's an absolute delight to see you." Terra coos but looks at the redhead next to me as I assent. We depart the kitchen, and Axel's arm still has me buried into his waist as he waved farewell to the brunette and a few others.

I have been tossing and turning all night, tormented with remorse. Axel is an exquisite paragon of a man, and I could not bear the thought of him dishonoring his flesh in the presence of his Lord only to win a wager against me. I venture out into the early morning light, double-checking Axel's sleeping position on the couch. I hurry out the house and sprint to the nearest extravagant cosmetic boutique. I spent the most of my agitation scouring the web for the finest tattoo concealer to assuage Axel's regrets. I arrived at the strip mall storefront one hour before it opens. I knelt on the curb, thinking about his effort to prove me wrong. It appears to have been successful. I trust him. Or at least I think I do as of last night. Above anything, his response to the freshly added emphasis on his face will testify to me his true determination. I dashed back to the house after obtaining the exorbitant tube of masking paste. My shoes clamp down on the front doorstep and my legs wobble from the sudden halt. My blood is on fire, yet my skin is quite frozen. As I discreetly open the door, I thaw my fingers by blowing into the palms of my hands. The room is silent, and I praised God that my folks are still snoozing blissfully. I am sure they would be concerned if the contents of Axel's facial features were modified. And my stomach twists when I consider how his parents may react. I nudge the languid figure in front of me, his breath flowing equally steady. I jab at his side a second time, and his hand swings out to slap my hands down. "Axel..." I murmur.

"Mmn..." He peers at me with one eye open.

"I bought you something." I pluck the small tube from my coat's denim pocket and dangle it in front of his face. He studies the packaging with a grimace. His eyes bulge, and he springs from the sofa.

"Ouuuch." He hisses and pats his cheeks while sitting stark straight. "Thank you; this will come in handy within a few weeks."

"I trust you." I mumble. His eyes travel from the window curtains ahead of him to my own. Suddenly, he wraps his arms over my shoulders and inches in.

"Thank you for doing this, Roxy. I genuinely appreciate it."

"I need a little time to think about it some more though..." I speak onto his warm shoulder. "However, I believe you now." The embrace is startling, but I interpret it as his way of saying thank you.

"I should leave. I ought to think of a plausible reason to steer clear of my house for a while. Surely Demyx will keep me hidden." He rises gracefully from the couch, his feet skimming across the foyer's hardwood.

"I am optimistic he will." My mouth becomes a tentative grin.

"I'll see you again on Monday. Prepare to have your butt kicked. This weekend, I'm going to purchase that new game we've been eyeing." He fastens his shoes and unlocks the front entrance.

"You're on, pretty boy."

"Thank you once again." He waves the present I had given him and slinks out the door, timidly shutting it behind him.

This wasn't an easy decision. It's nothing like it's ever been…I guess it's about time I sought Diz's counsel.

AN: He wouldn't be Axel without the tattoo's. Like, for real, my Funko pop says so. Any who, what a cute and fun Easter egg.