December 1986

It was so typical of Hawkins to prioritize Christmas decoration over actually valuable, community work. For the first half of the week, Andy and the girls were busy bringing the food to the workers that were re-building the Mayor's office but come Thursday, they were dragged off to help decorate the town.

Bringing the Christmas spirit back to Hawkins was the whole theme of December, apparently, and Andy just got the memo too late. Tangled into one too many lines of Christmas lights, she learned that Gerald Adams will be dressing up as Santa to surprise the kids, that there will be organized caroling, as well as a big New Year's party in the gym of Hawkins High - the whole town's invited and everyone was going all out. For the life of her, Andy couldn't understand why celebrating an annual holiday was such a priority over getting the town up and running at its full speed, but she didn't bother asking. She just did as she was told, and if that meant she and the girls were decorating a Christmas tree in gold and red ornaments in the middle of the town square, then that was what she would do.

"I hate decorating this shit," Robin sighed, almost as if she could hear the thoughts swarming in Andy's head, and decided to agree with them. "You know what the worst part is? When we're up here, on ladders and literally in the damn tree, we can't even see if it looks good!"

Andy had to push a branch away from her face as she tried to reach the one above it. "I'm sure someone will let us know if it's tragic. You know how these old hags get - if it's not perfect, they'll complain immediately."

"Yeah, and then what?" Robin snapped. "We do it all over again?"

"Like hell," Andy laughed. "I'm doing this once and never again, and if Hawkins Housewives have a problem with it, I have plenty of branches to stuff down their throats."

"Violent!" Robin laughed.

"Eh, deserved," Andy shrugged. She might not have been proud of it, but her patience was running thin. She did have to take down the lights and put them up again yesterday, and while she did that without much complaining, she'll be damned if some random lady makes her re-decorate an entire Christmas tree that was twice as big as she was.

"Nancy tells me you won't be going with us to grab dinner later?"

"Nah, I won't," Andy told her, grimacing. "I have too much shit to do at home. Living with my parents, and even Steve alone was easier in it that we could divide chores, but now I have to do it all by myself. But hey, at least I don't have two floors to clean, right?"

"I don't know, I'd rather take vacuuming two floors than doing every single chore in a one-bedroom apartment," Robin disagreed. "But then again, I'm still living at home, so…"

"Yep, you'll know what you prefer once you experience the other option."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd try to think you're saying that to convince me I don't like girls," Robin joked, and Andy was so unprepared that she had to hold the ladder in the hopes of not falling. She laughed so hard, not used to Robin throwing around jokes like that. It made her happy that she felt comfortable enough to do so now, even if it's just the two of them that get to share that moment.

"If there ever was a moment to take my words at face value, it was that one."

"Noted," winked Robin. "So, um, you're not going to be going to Eddie's tonight?"

Andy didn't miss a beat. "No, I don't think so. We don't have anything planned."

"Is… everything okay in that department?" Robin tried to sound casual, but she failed. Andy could tell that she wanted to ask sooner - subtlety was never one of Robin's traits. She no longer minded it; Andy had simply grown to accept that they will all be curious, especially with how little she shared when it comes to Eddie. It was just the way things were.

"I'd say so," Andy lied. "Business as usual."

It wasn't like that, but she was pretending. Ever since the night when they both knew they were about to kiss and Eddie pulled away, she hasn't been over to see him. They'd see each other around town pretty much every single day, and every time, Andy would smile, say hello, maybe even chat a little bit. She was treating him normally, like any other friend. The only difference from before was that she no longer went to see him, and he didn't ask her to.

They were more awkward than they were before, that moment hanging over them menacingly, and neither of them knew how to continue the same way as before. Andy had pretty much taken it off the table, aware that it will never be the same as it was.

She wanted him to kiss her. And she had to watch him decide that he wasn't going to do it, after all. As far as precious memories go, it wasn't on the top of her list by any means.

"Andy… Don't like, push me off the ladder or anything, but you're not making it sound like it's okay," Robin was careful with her words, probably wondering if she was misinterpreting everything. The sad part was that she wasn't, but Andy didn't want to dwell on it.

"I promise you Robin, everything is okay," Andy gave her a genuine smile, as she was touched by Robin's worry. "Also, just for future notice, I would never push you off a ladder."

"Good to know," Robin laughed, and they resumed decorating the tree in silence.

Well, with music, since Nancy brought a stereo to keep them company. It definitely made the task more bearable, with Andy singing under her breath while going up and down the ladder, each time moving it a bit in a different direction, and carrying more boxed ornaments on her way up. She and Robin started at the same point, but were moving in opposite directions, so other than her little sing-a-long, she was mostly working in silence.

Nancy would yell instructions every now and then, which Andy was grateful for, as she couldn't get the hang of what the tree looked like before she went down for more decorations, and if she did something wrong, it would be too late by that point. She already had to make some changes, so having Nancy helping from below was life-saving.

Not even the sound of Tears For Fears playing on the stereo had managed to ruin her mood. Andy realized, with a little bit of regret, that she will always associate a dear song with a bitter moment. After Jared, she had learned not to connect music to people, but at times, like the entire van situation, it was beyond her control. Head over Heels will forever be connected to Eddie, and to what she wanted but couldn't quite have.

The morning after the unfortunate event, Andy allowed herself to wonder what would have happened if she had reacted differently. Perhaps she should have said something, told him that it was okay and that she wanted it to happen. Or even kiss him herself? There were so many ways in which that moment could have ended and somehow Andy felt that she had picked the worst one. However, just because it was the worst outcome for her, didn't mean it was that for him. If she had told him something, maybe he would have felt pressure to do it. If she had kissed him, maybe it would happen against his will. She had accepted that her worst-case scenario was likely salvation for him. And it was okay. She was going to be okay and they, as friends, will be okay. So long as she gets a little bit of time to cool her head, and maybe calm her heart, things will be alright. Not the same, definitely not, but alright.

"You doing okay up there?!" she heard Steve yell; he earned an immediate eye-roll.

"Just peachy!" Andy yelled back, stretching to hang one of the globe ornaments. "Why don't you grab a ladder and help us out up here?"

"Why don't you come down?"

Andy turned around, and she wasn't surprised to see Eddie standing next to her brother, both of them dressed in worker overalls. She was still getting used to the sight of them in those outfits, even though they wore them almost every day, especially since they'd started the work on the Mayor's office.

Eddie and Steve have become all but inseparable, and Andy felt a bit as if Eddie had given Steve her place. She didn't allow that to make her feel bad, as they were apart mostly because of her own decision to keep her distance. At least when she smiled at him, he'd smile back; that day, she even got a wave as he looked up at her.

"The tree, unfortunately, won't decorate itself!" Andy yelled at Steve as she waved back at Eddie. "You have your fun, I'll have mine later."

Robin got down to talk to them; they were all gathered up, discussing god knows what - probably which movie they will watch that night and who will bring what snacks. It felt a bit weird, knowing that they will all be together in her house and she won't be there, but Andy consciously wanted to keep her distance. She suspected that Steve had given Eddie a permanent invitation, and she just wasn't ready to deal with all of that just yet. The blissful distance was a much better option, and she truly did have a bunch of cleaning to do.

Neither Steve nor Eddie said goodbye, and she knew that they were away when suddenly, almost at the exact same time, two ladders were placed by hers. Confused, Andy watched as Robin and Nancy made their way up, each on one side of her.

"What's going on? Did I place the golden orbs weirdly?" Andy looked back at the branches she had finished just moments ago, and she couldn't tell if something was off with them.

"What the heck is going on with you and Eddie?" Robin demanded, as direct as she wasn't not even half an hour ago. "You both are acting weird. Like, super weird."

"Andy, I wouldn't be asking," Nancy at least had the decency to look somewhat guilty about being a part of this. Robin just exploded, unable to not know the details for a moment longer, but Nancy must have had a different motivation. "I just have a horrible feeling that whatever it is that is happening will mess up the group dynamic."

"What are you talking about, we literally just said hello to each other?" Andy reminded them.

"Yeah, and there was no banter, no shoulder pushing, no inside jokes," Robin cut her off. "You didn't even come down to talk to him!"

"Because I am actually working!" Andy was growing more exasperated by the second. "And by the way, regarding the group dynamic: since when are you guys ready to consider him a part of said group, 'cause I must have missed that memo?"

"Since Thanksgiving!" Nancy was growing more exasperated, too, which annoyed Andy immediately, as she couldn't understand why on earth would she be this opinionated about her and Eddie's relationship. Or the lack of one.

"Well, if our group managed to survive Steve and yours break up, I'm sure we'll survive me not getting down a goddamn ladder to say hi."

It was a low blow, and the look on Nancy's face confirmed it. Andy didn't feel particularly bad about it, as she did feel cornered by her and Robin, but she admitted to herself that it wasn't the nicest thing to say.

"If you don't want to say what's going on, that's completely okay," Robin decided it was safe to speak again. "But you need to say it like that. Insisting that everything's just fine and dandy when it clearly isn't, it's you lying. I don't like being lied to, Andy."

"And I don't like discussing certain things," Andy argued back.

"You don't have to," Robin insisted. "If you had told me to fuck off and mind my own business, I'd joke around and respect your decision. But you kept on insisting until I started to believe I'm imagining things, only to realize that I'm not. Say the word, and we won't mention it again, but don't pretend, because you're insulting our intelligence, and you're not doing yourself any favors, either."

Robin was never confrontational, at least not with Andy. It was jarring to see her react that way, almost as if she was close to being angry. Andy knew better though, and if there was some anger behind Robin's words, it was likely born out of worry. As much as she wished they weren't right, both Robin and Nancy had a point. She lied, when there was no reason for it. And if she keeps avoiding Eddie forever, it will affect the group dynamic. And more than anything else, they were right about her not doing herself any favors. Bottling it up might not be detrimental, but it sure as hell isn't helpful.

"We almost kissed," she let out a deep breath, letting the weight of that memory fall from her shoulders. If Robin or Nancy had a reaction, she couldn't see it, as she chose to stare at the branch directly in front of her face. "It happened a few days ago. He drove me home and we had a whole moment: the pause, the look, everything. He leaned in, I leaned in too, he leaned in some more and then just… pulled away and looked like he regretted every second of his life that led him to that moment. I went home, he drove away, the end."

It wasn't a gross oversimplification of the events of that night - Andy explained it, just as it happened. The only details she hadn't shared were the ones she considered the most important. She kept quiet about the way goosebumps covered her skin when she realized what could happen. She would never share the way Eddie's eyes seemed like they sparkled when he looked down at her lips. No one except the two of them will know which song was playing. A play-by-play? She could do that. But explaining what it felt like, and what it meant, or could have meant to her? No one will know that. Not even Eddie himself.

"He hadn't said anything?" Nancy asked, her tone careful.

"Other than goodbye, nope," said Andy. "Nothing else in the days since, other than casual greetings. That's on me, too, as I didn't bother talking much, either. That whole day was just so weird… His uncle was with us and we ended up talking about some of the shit that went down with Vecna, and that's hardly fun, right? But when we had the moment, hours passed since we talked about the dark stuff."

"Do you have any guesses as to why he pulled away?" Robin took turns with Nancy asking questions, and this one made Andy laugh, albeit bitterly.

"Other than realizing he was likely going to make the biggest mistake of his life, no," she laughed, reaching towards other ornaments in the box she kept under her arm, hoping to move on with the decorating and that they would drop the topic soon.

"Andy, I know self-depreciation is our thing, but come on," Robin snorted. "Why the fuck would he regret kissing you?"

"I could think of a plethora of reasons, and I'd have no idea how plausible each of them is," Andy shrugged. "If you wanna know my main theory, the one I came up with when I was losing sleep because I am an idiot, it's because he fooled himself into thinking he liked me. My guess is that he was just glad he had someone he liked spending time with, and my being a girl led to him thinking about the possibilities. Before deciding he'd rather not."

"Maybe he's just scared?" Nancy suggested.

"Of what, cooties?" Andy rolled her eyes. Her reply made Robin laugh and Nancy annoyed; Andy didn't often make Nance frown, but when she did, she knew she took it too far. "I don't know, maybe he was scared of… whatever. That's for him to know and for me to not lose sleep over. That's all there is to it. I'll lick my wounds and once it's out of my system, I'll be back to the regularly scheduled shitshow. You don't have to worry about our dynamics; I can absolutely be around him, talk to him, whatever. I'm fine with being his friend, and I'll be even more comfortable with it once the dust settles. I'll gladly be his friend, but I'm not going to waste my time pinning after someone who doesn't feel the same."

"Yeah but, you can't know if he feels the same or not," Robin reminded her.

"You're right, but I'm making conclusions with what I'm given. Guys, it was clear as day. I wasn't going to pull back. Not even the biggest idiot on the planet would think that the situation wouldn't play out that way. I leaned in, he knew I wanted it, and that's it. On paper, that's enough for me to decide that he just didn't want it to happen. He's just… not into me. And that's okay. Hell, crushes are cute and all but would we even make sense? I don't know how to function in a couple, and I doubt he's an expert. There's a whole bunch of reasons why we would be a bad idea, and only one on the opposite side: we'd be good because I like him. And if the like was mutual, maybe it would be enough. But…"

She let the silence hang. The girls needed time to process what she had said, and she needed a deep breath or two. The decision wasn't quite reached until she said it out loud. She won't be wasting time on someone who doesn't feel the same. That was never her way and that won't change. And Eddie might just be in luck, as she is a much better friend than she could ever be a girlfriend.

"I think he just needs time, Andy," Nancy spoke up. "You've had time to process your feelings but maybe it hit him out of nowhere? Maybe he didn't let his thoughts go there until that night?"

"Maybe," Andy shrugged. "I repeat myself but, that's for him to know and for me not to lose sleep over."

"Just throwing this out there, okay?" Robin leaned towards Andy, wobbling her ladder in the process. "Holy shit, if I die while discussing your love life and Eddie Munson, I swear!"

"Talk about unworthy causes of death," Andy joked.

"Again with the self-depreciation," Robin rolled her eyes at her, now firmly gripping the top of the ladder. "Anyway, where was I? Yes. If you have a moment again, if you think it's about to happen, don't run from it. Say something, ask him something."

"Why, because I want to push him into liking me?" Andy was annoyed. "Fuck no. If he can't decide that for himself, I'm not going to be desperate and pleading. I told you, to me, it was a clear no and I refuse to waste my time on someone who just… isn't into me."

"Did it occur to you that maybe the wonders if you've fooled yourself into thinking you like him?" Nancy asked. "That you saw him as a potential more just because he was there?"

She did have a point, Andy realized. Sort of. "I would be more convinced if he wasn't a dude. They're all the same. If it's not written in pink, neon letters, they can't figure it out. Most of them don't dig deep like that. We overthink, they take it as it is. There's no way."

"No way for you to know unless you ask," Nancy gave her a knowing smile. "You told me once to give him more credit - maybe you should take your own advice," she added as she started descending her ladder.

"Or, I don't know," Robin pretended to think about it. "Write it in pink, neon letters?"

She too made her exit, and Andy stood there, like a complete idiot, holding one stupidly ugly golden ornament in hand, as she pondered over their suggestions. It occurred to her that that was precisely why she avoided talking about Eddie with just about anyone - the moment they offer their opinions, she would start second-guessing everything.

The Eddie she knew in passing was all about confidence and cockiness. The Eddie she had truly gotten to know was all about shedding that mask of fakeness. If she was an outsider, she might think as Nancy and Robin did. Maybe he was scared, maybe he was insecure, maybe he thought he read all the signals wrong. Maybe. Who knows? But Andy's not on the outside, and if continued, this could end up properly hurting her.

It just wasn't worth it. After all the shit she went through, to risk being hurt wasn't a luxury she could afford. She needed to have more self-respect than that.

February 1986

She woke up due to the sound of someone moving around her room. The bed dipped and she opened her eyes, seeing a naked back directly in front of her. She smiled instantly, glad to see that Aiden was still around.

Andy kind of liked Aiden. Not liked as in, wanted to date him and consider a future with him, but liked in a way that she would rather continue having strings of one-night stands with him than wasting time with other men. It was tiring, having to meet new people if she was in pursuit of a distraction. Not to mention that she had to be careful, as there was always danger in bringing an almost complete stranger home.

Aiden wasn't a stranger. He was a hot guy with a great sense of humor, who already knew what her likes and dislikes were and has proven time and time again that he can adapt accordingly. Aiden was worth keeping around, if only for a little while longer.

He was absolutely gorgeous; way too good for her, if she was to be honest with herself. Ashy blonde hair, curly and long enough to fall into his huge brown eyes, and sunkissed skin. He was miles away from Jared, miles away from what she considered her usual type. He was charming as all hell, and the night she met him was the first time that Andy walked into a bar and figured that she would do her best to leave with the bartender.

"Leaving already?" she asked, startling the guy as he obviously still thought she was asleep. Andy didn't think it was like him to sneak out - maybe he just wanted to be kind and not wake her? She tried to remember what happened last time they spent the night together but try as she might, she couldn't. Every possibility was just as likely as the last one.

"You kicked me out last time, Andrea," he laughed, not turning around to face her. "I just figured you'd want me out of your way as soon as possible."

"I'm not mean all the time," she joked, sliding closer towards him, pulling the covers with her as she went. "You don't have to run if you don't have anywhere to be," she told him, reaching with her hand to drag it down his back, slowly taking in his warmth. He still hasn't turned around and it annoyed her, as she wanted to look into those adorable eyes of his. She realized with a smile that she won't stop teasing him until he turns around to look at her.

"I do, actually," his reply is short and somewhat snappy. Well, maybe they won't have another round then, Andy thought.

"Is everything okay?" she checked, knowing that although it was not as important, it will annoy her throughout the day. She had always hated wondering if she had done something wrong or made someone feel bad without any intention of doing so.

"Yeah," he turned around a bit, enough for her to see a small smile on his face. "Actually, yeah, it is."

Something was off, and Andy could tell. Not knowing Aiden well, she wasn't sure how to approach it, so she decided on the simplest question of them all. "When will I see you again?" she asked, but the moment the words left her, she felt that it was a mistake. When they will see each other has never been up to Aiden; it always depended solely on whether or not she decided to go to the bar he worked at. Some nights, she did. Most nights, she did not. He couldn't answer that question, not when she was the one who made that decision.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Andrea," Aiden spoke up after a moment, and that did surprise her. While she sat up in the bed, wrapping herself in the sheets, Aiden turned to face her and she could tell that he was dead serious. He wasn't angry, or anything like that, but he was not joking around either. "I think we shouldn't do this again."

"I mean… okay," Andy spoke up after a brief silence. The math was simple: the moment someone from the two doesn't want to continue, it's over. And luckily for her, she wasn't emotionally invested in any capacity. Sure, Aiden was fun and somewhat safe, but she wasn't going to continue this for too long regardless. She was, however, curious. "Can I just ask… why? Is everything okay? Did something happen or-?"

Andy was dead scared that he actually had a girlfriend and suddenly decided to have a conscience. That was the one thing she didn't want to have in her baggage, and she made sure to ask, the night she first met him. And yes, he did say that he was single, but that would hardly be the first time a man had lied to her. It sure as hell won't be the last.

"No, it's all good," Aiden reassured her. She wasn't buying it. "The thing is, you haven't been around in a few weeks and I found myself missing you, you know? Thinking about you. You should have seen how pathetic I was, hoping that every time the door opened, it would be you walking in," he joked. Andy still wasn't getting the humor. "I like you, Andrea. And when you showed up last night, I realized that I really am interested in you, in being with you. Just as I realized that you don't want that at all."

She doesn't. She told him that the second time she showed up, she didn't want him to get the wrong idea. Andy didn't know what the hell she was looking for, but the one thing she surely wasn't in search of was a relationship. Honesty was also something she found necessary when organizing arrangements like those, and if one party doesn't want anything serious, it needed to be out in the open. She made sure of that, Aiden seemed okay with it, and she thought that they were good to go. And they were, but only for a little while.

"Aiden," she started and stopped immediately, not quite sure what to say. "I'm sorry? I hope I wasn't leading you on or anything like that."

"No, no," he insisted, now fully facing her. Andy didn't think that was the way that morning would go. "You've made it clear from the get-go; everything you did was more than fair. You just don't want the same things I do. And for a night, I thought I could make do with what you give me; but I can't. And honestly, I don't want to spend my time liking someone who doesn't care the same way about me."

"I understand," Andy nodded. She was more selfish than Aiden was, apparently, as she wondered how she might just take what was given than refuse everything together. "I would like it if you thought differently," she added, jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit and not stay a sour memory for him. "But I understand why you need it to be like this."

"I'm not sure you do," Aiden smiled at her. "But, you might one day. And if you're in that kind of situation, when you realize that you want something with a person who… doesn't care, not like that at least… I have more self-respect than that and I think you should, too."

He kissed her one last time before he left; it was brief, nothing more than a peck, but the emotional weight of it was heavy, as Andy knew they were saying goodbye. She would never go into his bar again, knowing that she is better than baiting someone like that, knowing that Aiden deserved better. He was a good guy, and he'll be a good boyfriend to someone who wants one. Their stars just weren't aligned.

After he left, Andy was left with thoughts of how this breakup was the cleanest, most straightforward end of her life, and it wasn't even a real breakup to begin with. She wasn't sad, not in the true sense of the word, but there was some regret there. If she could be more stable and more open to certain emotions, maybe she and Aiden could have stood a chance. If she was willing to take a risk and care for another person, maybe it would have been worth it. It was too late, for sure, and Aiden definitely wasn't that guy, but what if?

Andy wasn't stable. She wasn't open to romantic emotions and she sure as hell wasn't ready to care for another person. She was bitter, hurt, tired, and more than ever before since she left, she missed home. She missed home terribly.

AN: I bring good news - I have another Eddie x OC story in the works - much different from this, but just as fun to plan. I won't be starting it before I wrap up Well I Wonder, though, as I want to see this through. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and will continue to do so. If you have any comments or questions, suggestions even, don't hesitate! Love, Daisy