In New York
Buck pulled the blanket over him and drifted off the sleep on the couch. Abby was sat in the kitchen eating some food, watching Buck as he slept. She was flicking through channels on the tv when she heard Buck moving around, he was pushing his arms around and spinning his head around. Abby stood up and he started whimpering, she sat on the edge of the couch and gently touched Buck on the shoulder, Buck shot up and pushed her but he held on to her,
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry"
"buck it's okay. Look at me"
he looked up at her and wrapped his arms around her,
"I'm gonna get you some help buck. You're gonna be okay I promise. I'm going to help you just keep fighting"
he laid back down and held her hand,
"I'm here with you, you're safe okay. You get some sleep"
Abby held on to his hand until he feel asleep. Abby grabbed her comforter and pillow and laid on the reclining chair. She went to sleep with buck on the couch next to her just in case.
It was the next morning and Buck woke up. He rubbed his eyes and saw Abby curled up in the chair asleep. He smiled a little as she moved and woke up wiping her mouth,
"I was not dribbling" she laughed
"maybe a little" buck chuckled. She moved next to him on the couch
"I'm sorry about last night. If I scared you-"
"you didn't but I want to talk to you, I know a really good psychiatrist at the local hospital. He isn't like most psychiatrists are, he makes you feel different and I think he would be good with you"
"they tried to do that in La-"
"buck these nightmares aren't helping you and he can make you feel some sense in everything that's happened"
"would you come with me?"
"of course... but first breakfast because you're wasting away"
"I can help. I make a mean scrambled egg"
"you can cook now?" She asked shocked
"my Boss, Bobby from my firefighting job, he is an amazing cook and he taught me some things"
"show me then" she said pulling him up
They were cooking away in the kitchen but as buck turned around he knocked the frying pan off the counter top and it hit the floor. He jumped as it made a bang and he started to breathe heavily, Abby jumped over and grabbed him,
"it's okay buck. You're safe. It was an accident, it was just the pan"
"I know. I know. I'm sorry"
The phone disturbed them both and it was ringing on the holder. Abby picked it up,
"hello?"
"abby?"
"yes? Who's calling?"
"is buck there?"
"how did you get this number? Wait... Athena?"
"yes it's me"
Buck looked over and walked to Abby. He shook his head,
"buck?"
"yeah. Evan Buckley?"
she passed the phone over and buck took a hold of it. He breathed as he pressed the red button and hung up.
"buck!" Abby sighed
"I want to get better Abby and I can't do that with them all suffocating me. I came here because I knew you would understand and you could help me"
In La
Athena scoffed as the phone call abruptly ended. She put her phone away and looked at the firehouse team,
"So?" Bobby said
"did she say anything? Was he there?"
"she knew it was me but didn't say anything but he's there"
"... how do you know?" Hen said
"there's only one person I know who breaths as heavy as a horse and that's buck" Athena said as the others nodded
"I need her address" Eddie said
"I can't just give out people's addresses. I could lose my job... but we could make a visit when I'm off duty but pack a bag, it's not gonna be a quick visit" Athena said
"well where does she live?" Chimney said
"she lives in New York"
Eddie put his head in his hands and laughed, "this is ridiculous"
"go on Eddie. We can cope without for a few hours" Bobby said relieving him.
Eddie hugged him, "thanks cap"
Athena gave Bobby a quick kiss before they left the firehouse. Eddie went home to get some clothes and to take Christopher to Carla's house.
In New York
Buck and Abby arrived at the hospital. They made it up to the third floor and took a seat in the waiting room. Abby was reading a magazine and buck was staring into nothing. He pulled out his phone and turned it on, message after message pinged up,
"wow Buck. You're a popular guy. How many missed calls?"
"92."
"Jesus buck"
"Evan Buckley" the doctor said coming out
he stood up and grabbed Abby's hand, "you want me to come in?" She said as he nodded.
They both went in and sat down,
"hello buck. I'm doctor Stafford. I've had a read over of all your notes and I can see how difficult this may be for you but you can take your time and I will help you the best I can."
"I don't wanna talk about what he did because I know you can see that anyway. It's now, I can't sleep without nightmares so I'm not sleeping. If I eat, I'm physically sick. Loud noises are making me panic and I don't know what to do anymore"
"this is PTSD. You have been through a lot in the last couple of years Buck. Your job is dangerous in itself. You were the victim of a serial bomber and you got thrown out of a fire truck as it exploded and landed on top of you crushing your leg-"
"what?" Abby said as he heart broke
"it's okay. I'm better now"
"physically Buck, you're better physically but mentally this has taken its toll now. After the attack, all of your memories are taking over and it's slowly killing you. You live in La, and you're here now?"
"he's living with me now" Abby said
"we knew each other when she lived in La... doug, he is still out there and I couldn't stay in La looking over my shoulder forever"
"I want us to start meeting weekly buck. I can see talking is going to help you but I'm going to prescribe you some anti-psychotics-"
"anti? What?"
"they will stop the nightmares buck. You may actually be able to get a good nights sleep"
"okay Thankyou"
"Pick up your prescription and take them for a week and we will review next week"
"Thankyou dr" buck said taking the script
"Thankyou" Abby said
Abby and buck left and went to the pharmacy. Buck picked up the meds and they went home. Buck read the bottle,
"take one daily with evening meal... is this my life now. Pills and feeling crazy"
"you're not crazy buck just hurting. Anyways.. the fire truck?"
"it was a kid who bombed us. Trying to kill Bobby. I took the full force of the explosion and it nearly killed me. Nearly lost my leg. I was out of work for months. I was finally better and the day before I went back, I started coughing up blood due to clots in my leg and one in my lungs, I was on blood thinners for a while"
Abby grabbed his hand and smiled, "is this what happens when I leave you alone"
They stopped by the grocery store to grab some food and as they got back to Abby's house, she spotted a black car, "buck?"
"yeah?" He looked up from his phone
"I've never seen that car before"
Abby pulled in the driveway and saw her front door open.
"stay here" buck said
"not a chance" Abby said getting out with him
Buck walked up to the door and grabbed the umbrella that was sitting in the porch. He pushed the door open and stepped in, he saw the black hoodie looking through his stuff, "heyyyy!!!" Buck said running at him
"Buck!" He screamed
"wait.. I nearly killed you"
"with an umbrella buck" he said grabbing it
"what are you doing here Eddie!"
"what do you think?"
"how did you get in here?" Abby said
"we let ourselves in" Athena said as Eddie threw Abby the spare key from under the plant pot.
Buck turned around and grabbed Abby, "are you okay?"
"yeah, I'm okay thanks" she breathed, "I'll get the groceries".
Buck looked at them both, "you know this is breaking and entering right"
"buck listen to me. We were worried. Why would you come here.. you haven't seen Abby in years. She left you" Eddie said
"I knew she would help me with no judgement"
"we don't judge you buck" Athena said
"of course you do even Maddie. 'Ohh get over it buck, you survived. You were fine, we'll all help you' well I get shot no one else"
"you really think that's what we think?" Eddie said, "we love you buck and just want you home."
"this is home for now"
"buck-"
"Eddie listen to me. I need help, serious help and Abby is helping me with that. She got me in with a really good psychiatrist. Im going crazy and It was either leave La for a while or I couldn't take it anymore"
"I know you buck a lot better than Abby"
"I know Buck perfectly well" Abby said
"yeah.. this doesn't really concern you" he snapped
"Eddie!" Athena said
"buck please come back with us. I can help you. Maddie is worried sick"
"I need to you to let me do this Eddie and I will come home after I can control how I feel. When Doug is gone"
"he is gone buck. He hasn't been seen since it happened. He's ran and won't come back"
buck sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "I can't do anything right. I'm stupid. So stupid" he said to himself
"I think you should both go" Abby said as she opened the door.
Eddie sat down next to buck, "please buck. Please" Eddie pleaded
Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie and hugged him, "I'm sorry I'm like this but I will get better"
"are you sure this is what you want?" He asked
"yes. It is"
"ok.. ok" Eddie stood up and walked straight out the door not even looking behind him. Abby shut the door and buck burst into tears. Abby wrapped her arms around him,
"you're ok Buck. Im here. You've got me"
The next day
Athena and Eddie arrived home at Athena's and Bobby was there with Hen, Chimney and Maddie.
"so?" Maddie said
Eddie grabbed a beer off the counter and sat down. He didn't say anything
Athena looked at them all,
"was he at Abby's?" Maddie said
"yeah he was. He's not coming home"
"what.."
"he's getting help over there. This wasn't the normal buck we know. He is broken" Athena said
"what's the address? Im going" Maddie said
"he doesn't want anyone there" Eddie said not looking up
"He's my brother"
"Maddie you're in no condition to travel" chimney said
"I'm fine!"
"I'm not letting you go Maddie"
"chimney, I have to get him home"
"You are still recovering from a stab wound, you were beaten-"
"yeah thanks for reminding me"
"you can't, it's not safe for you yet or-"
"chimney!"
"sorry... Maddie please"
"at least give me Abby's number Athena please. I can speak to him"
"I'll send it you but you did not get this from me if anyone asks" she said
"Thankyou"
Athena pulled Maddie aside,
"please Maddie. Promise me you won't find this address and go yourself. You could hurt yourself and seeing buck how he is mentally will not help you or your situation" Athena said looking at her
"you know?" Maddie said, "how?"
"call it mothers instinct" she said smirking
"Thankyou for the phone number" Maddie said smiling at Athena.