Chapter 3 – Falling

Author's Note: I think that the chapter title says it all. :):):)

To Guest: Yes, that is Snoke. :'(

~ Amina Gila

"Luke!" Anakin calls again, almost desperately, but as before, there's no response. No, this was never supposed to happen. Why can't Luke see him? Why can't he reach his son? He's tried and tried, from the moment his funeral was over, but he can't reach him. He doesn't know if it's because Luke is blocking him, or... something else.

But this should never have happened. He's been watching him from the side, seeing how much his death is affecting Luke. If he could talk to him, it might help, but he can't reach him. And now he's...

Force, this is exactly the same path he had started walking, that led to all of this. Plagueis...

It means one thing and even as part of the Force, it fills him with dread.

Only one person could tell Luke a twisted version of that.

Sidious himself.

Sidious who was supposed to be dead, who he killed on the Death Star when he finally brought balance to the Force.

But when he tries to reach Luke even harder, he notices especially now that it feels like he's running into a barrier. And it feels... familiar.

"Luke?" he tries again, but it's useless. His son can't hear him. And he's walking right into a trap set by Sidious, almost the exact same way Anakin himself once did when he was also only twenty-three.

But this isn't getting him anywhere. He can't reach Luke, but maybe... there's someone else?

He can't stay projecting into the physical realm for long, so he lets himself dissipate, back to the inner parts of the Force where they always stay, the part where Yoda, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan all are.

"I can't reach him," Anakin says, frustratedly. "I tried but he won't respond. And now he is... going down the same path I did."

Obi-Wan moves closer to him, laying a hand on his shoulder – in a very metaphysical sense. It's not the same as touching, but in some ways, the gesture here is far closer and more intimate than it ever could be in a true physical sense. "I tried to reach him too, but he won't respond. I used to talk to him all the time."

"It's Sidious," Anakin replies, "It must be. Someone is blocking us. And somehow Luke heard about Plagueis."

Obi-Wan knows what he's talking about. They... talked in detail about what happened in the past, after getting here.

"Perhaps you need to try reaching someone else."

"But who?" There's Ahsoka, but... she wasn't responding to him. He doesn't think she actually believes it's possible, so she's unconsciously blocking him off. All he can do is watch her from the side and even here, it still hurts seeing how much she's grieving his death.

"Leia," Obi-Wan suggests.

No. That would... "It may be best if you did, then." He should, to apologize to her for everything he did to her, but... He doesn't know if it would work either, and if anyone is intentionally blocked him out, it would be her, and he can't blame her for that.

"She is untrained in the Force," Obi-Wan points out, "It may be difficult for either of us. We can do it together."

Anakin nods – as much as he can, seeing that ghosts don't really have bodies, at least not when they're in the Force itself – giving him a small smile. "Then let's go."

It's all he can do. He owes her a serious apology anyway, and not that even that would ever be adequate. He'd been thinking about her too, that moment when he turned back. He knew that if Luke died there, Sidious would only go after his daughter next. It had been for both of his children. He couldn't just stand there and watch his son die, knowing his daughter would be next. (He wouldn't do to them what Obi-Wan did to him.)

In those last moments before he died, he had wanted his daughter to know that she mattered, even if he had no idea who she was at the time. He needs to talk to her, and... he can't fault Leia for however she reacts to it.

And he has to do this for Luke's sake, before it's too late.

**w**

Luke can feel the Dark Side the moment he enters the atmosphere of the planet. He doesn't know much about Mustafar, but he really wonders why his father would have ever wanted to live in a place covered in nothing but rivers of lava.

To be fair, it's a good deterrent, a way of ensuring no one would be dumb enough to attack. And if he's being honest, it sounds like the kind of place a Sith Lord might want to live, but still.

"Where do I go?" Luke inquires, as he flies for the only towering structure on the surface. Vader's castle. That must be it.

"I will direct you to the place," the voice replies.

Something about it abruptly unsettles him again, as he lands the shuttle outside the structure. The Dark Side is so strong here. And... "How do you know about this?"

"As I said, I have studied these matters," it replies.

He's struck instantly by how strongly he can feel Vader's presence here the moment he enters the castle. It clings to the walls, everywhere. And it hurts. He misses him so much.

This is the place where his father lived, and Luke... can't help but find himself full of curiosity. It feels so dark here, but he can't help but wonder what it was like. He needs a few moments to get his raging emotions under control before he moves forwards with what he's about to do, so he starts off through the place, looking around.

There's no sign of life anywhere, and he wonders if anyone's been here since Vader last was. Probably, but he expected more... something. The place is far too huge to explore all alone, so he heads for the level that seems like it might be... living quarters, passing all the other floors on the way that can't hold his attention. He wants to look through all of this place some time, but not right now. (Personally, he thinks he'll probably regret it if he does, because at the end of the day, Vader was a Sith who did terrible things, but still.)

What he finds first is Vader's... office. The place feels so strongly of his father it hurts. It clings to the walls everywhere, probably not to fade for years – even if his father is never here again. It hurts so much, driving the blade deeper into his heart. He misses him so much, misses the time he never got to spend with him. He has to correct that. He will.

The large window at the back of the room overlooks endless rivers of lava. Is there some reason his father liked this view so much? Or was it just... a convenient location? It does look pretty Sithly, though, so maybe it's just a Dark Side thing.

Also, he thinks he'd be very sore sitting in a chair this hard for so long again. (Yes, he tried it out. So what?) Then again, Vader had armor, so it's not like that would matter.

He's about to ask the voice where he needs to go next, but his curiosity gets the better of him for one moment longer and he steps out of the office, continuing to make his way through that floor of the building.

What he finds next is Vader's... meditation pod, or whatever that's supposed to be. Presumably that's what it is, anyway. The strength of the Dark Side in here is almost... sickening. He can feel the pain, the anger, the hatred (the fear) radiating off the walls, and he has to wonder how his father could have stood feeling like that all the time. He needs to bring him back, so he can be alive and actually live because a life like this was no life at all.

The next room Luke stumbles into... he's not really sure what its purpose is. But he can feel the fait hum of lightsaber crystals, and he crosses the room immediately, going over to them. There's two of them here, and he recognizes one of them instantly.

It's – it's Ben's isn't it? Something about the feel of the crystal faintly reminds Luke of him, and the design is the same, from what he remembers. Vader... kept it? This isn't a trophy room, is it? He doesn't really think so, though.

The room feels more of pain than it does of something like dark gloating. It makes him wonder again, what was going on with his father and Ben anyway. They were obviously close once, and what led to everything falling apart? Why did Vader kill him?

Slowly Luke reaches over, picking up the other lightsaber. It's small, and when he ignites it, a blue blade hisses out of it. Did this belong to someone else once important to him? (Someone else he killed?) Luke has no idea, but it doesn't matter now. Maybe he'll get some of his many answers about his father when he actually brings him back.

That throws him into motion again, and he's about to leave the room when his eyes fall on a short chain of beads nearby. Luke has no idea what it's supposed to be, but something tells him it's of some significance. The presence lingering on it is too faint to really tell much, but he thinks it faintly, very faintly, reminds him of what that other unfamiliar lightsaber feels like.

The only other thing he recognizes in the room is robes of some kind, mostly concealed in a far corner of the room, where they wouldn't even be seen if he wasn't looking so carefully for something of interest. (This is his father's, after all. He wants to know more about him.)

The robes are light in color, and they're... Why are they here? The first logical conclusion might be that they're Vader's, but he doesn't think so. He can't imagine Vader wearing anything but black, and he has yet to see anything that indicates he really wore anything but his armor.

Besides, the robes don't really feel like Vader's presence that strongly. It's definitely there, but it's mixed with something else. An echo of something long gone.

It reminds him a little of... Ben?

Unless he's just imagining it.

Why would Vader have some of Ben's clothes here? That doesn't even make sense. Then again, why does he have his lightsaber here?

There's obviously a lot Luke knows nothing about, and he really wants answers. He wants to know more about his father, and that spurts him into motion again.

He slips from that room, heading into another one.

This one has a bacta tank in it. Considering Vader's condition that's not a surprise, but what hits him the strongest is the feel of the Dark Side here. It feels so... full of pain and anger (and lost and broken). How did his father feel like this for so many years?! It's not fair no matter what he's done.

There's mechanical chaos in one of the other rooms too, which makes him wonder just how much like him his father was. Although he gets the feeling that the mechanical mess – some of it at least – actually has a very important function, possibly for his life support suit. Luke doesn't know if he really wants to know.

Why is there like no bed or anything here, though? He would have expected at least something that showed the more human side of his father, even if he was mostly a machine by this point, but there's nothing.

The last room he pauses in briefly... looks like a medical room, but – even from just standing in the doorway, the feel of it is nearly nauseating. It feels like – like painsuffeingscreaming. He can feel it on the walls, in the air, far too freshly. And this – this is Vader's private medical wing, which means he's the only one who uses it.

Luke stumbles out, leaning against the wall in the hall, struggling to recollect himself. Why would a medical room feel like – like that?

Okay, Sith are all about anger and hatred, but he has a very hard time believing that Vader intentionally and willingly inflicted all of that on himself. That doesn't make sense, and it means...

Force, that room feels like a torture chamber. He would know, no thanks to some of the places he's broken into when trying to rescue other rebels.

What – what did the Emperor do to him? Presumably it was on the Emperor, anyway. He doesn't know who else could be to blame for that. He's the only person with ultimate authority over Vader that he knows of.

But just thinking about how much pain this place is full of... All because no one cared to try helping his father before he did. Luke can't leave things like this. He can't. His father should be alive. He should have the chance to be happy. He's going to bring him back, and he won't rest until he finds the way.

"Where do I need to go?" he asks, prodding at the presence in his mind. It's time to get on with this.

The darkness of the place decidedly unnerves him, but he ignores it, following the voice's directions on where to go in the building, to reach the right spot for what he needs to do. This is all that matters.

A strange sense of excitement floods through him, mixed with nervousness and fear. He's about to... to break the very laws of life and death and bring his father back. If it works. Now that he's come this far, he doesn't think he could handle taking no for an answer.

"You are powerful," the voice promises, "You can do it."

He nods, gratitude flaring through him for a moment at the encouragement before he closes his eyes, delving into the Force. He's never felt the Dark Side this strongly anywhere in his life, and he pulls back sharply as it nearly floods through him completely.

"What are you doing?" the voice asks.

"I – " He trails off, hesitantly. He can't stop now. He can't. But he doesn't know how to move forward without the Dark Side completely overwhelming him.

"You must embrace the Force in its entirety, if you want your father back."

"But I can't use the Dark Side," he objects. It's... it's not allowed. Or at least he shouldn't. Even so, the very thought of backing out is... He can't do it.

"It is the only way. Embrace the Force in its entirety. This is your only chance. Do you really want to lose it?"

No, he doesn't. "Alright," Luke breaths, closing his eyes and reaching out again. A part of him protests but he lets his shields down, letting the full darkness of the place flood through him. He feels the Dark Side, the sheer power of it screaming through every inch of his body.

Force, why did he ever deny himself the feel of this before? His every emotion and desire the Force responds to with ease. It gives him power. It's so much better than the calmness of the Light. Now he can see why the Sith say the Light Side is weak.

"Once start down the dark path, you do, forever it will dominate your destiny."

Is that really true? He's only doing this to help his father, to help his family. Nothing else. He isn't using the Dark Side for a bad purpose. And maybe when this is over, he can let it go. Maybe. (Way inside, he suddenly doesn't know if he wants to.) If he had been this powerful before, maybe his father would have never died in the first place. If he had taken up Vader's offer back on Bespin...

But there's no going back, only forward, and he will bring his father back.

Luke dives deeper into the Force, only half sure what he's doing, but somehow it's like he knows what to do as he reaches outward more and more.

He doesn't get much further, though, before he hits a shield. A blockage that feels almost impossibly strong. He throws everything he can against it, with all of his focus, channeling the Dark Side as best as he knows how to, but it still doesn't give way. Maybe it's getting weaker, he thinks, but he doesn't know.

Exhaustion is tearing at him but he tries to press onwards, struggling to break through the barrier between life and death. Once he gets through, he can find his father, he can –

The barrier seems to weaken ever so slightly again but he can't force any harder than he already is. He tries, and tries, throwing everything he can against it –

And then nothing.

**w**

Luke opens his eyes with a groan, staring up at the dark ceiling high above him. Where is – Right. Right.

He doesn't think he's felt this worn out in a very long time, and he twists around, scanning the room.

Nothing.

No one. He's still here alone. No sign of his father. He was supposed to break through the barrier, but he... failed?

"You said I could do this!" Luke accuses, pushing himself upright, despite the exhaustion. It feels like it totally knocked everything out of him. How long has he been unconscious?

"I did."

He looks up at the sound of the voice, this time not coming from in his head, to see the figure towering over him, or maybe it's that he's still half in a meditative state and doesn't know it, because how could this person actually be here?

"You are powerful enough, but I see now that you need more training."

Luke sags against the floor, disappointment and frustration flooding him. "Training in what? Who can train me? I'm the only Jedi left."

The figure shakes his head. "Not from a Jedi."

"I won't learn from a Sith!"

"You already embraced the Dark Side," the figure replies, "Do you not feel the power it fills you with? Sith do not have to be evil. They can use their power for good. It depends on their intentions. 'Good' is merely a point of view."

It makes sense, he supposes, even if it's against everything Yoda and Ben warned him against. Or maybe this place is just getting to him with how strong it is in the Dark Side, he's not sure. But the Dark Side does fill him with a power he can't imagine letting go of.

He doesn't feel dark and twisted or evil. He just wants his father back.

"But who would I learn from?" Luke objects.

"Come to me."

He blinks. "You're a Sith?!"

The figure sighs, almost as though exasperated with a small child. "Why do those who use the Force need labels? You have much to learn."

This... It makes sense. Of course the figure is a Force user. How else could he talk to Luke? At first he'd thought maybe he was a spirit or Force ghost, but... "Can't you teach me like this?"

"No. You can only truly learn in person."

"I... I want to think about it," Luke replies, finally. His mind feels muddled and it's moving in slow motion, but he does have half the brain to know that maybe he's not thinking fully clearly right now. And his disappointment is crushing him, because he was so close. He knows he can't say no to this offer, he just... needs a little time to clear out his head.

"Very well," the figure replies, and it abruptly fades into nothingness, leaving him alone in the room.

For some reason, that immediately leaves Luke's mind feeling a little more clear.

Force, what did he do?

He embraced the Dark Side. He –

But he doesn't regret it. He failed his father before – maybe multiple times because things might never have come to this if he accepted his offer on Bespin – and he won't again.

**w**

He can't feel the Dark Side nearly as strongly anymore as he leaves Mustafar, and suddenly, his mind is flooded with questions again. He was warned against this. He was...

But he doesn't have to keep holding onto the Dark Side. He just needs to learn what he needs to save his father, and then he'll let it go.

His disappointment over his failure slowly fades to determination again. He ruthlessly squashes any questions that arise in his mind. Only a little bit longer and then... everything can go back to how it was before, maybe even much better. Maybe he can learn more about being a Jedi from his father.

With how worn out he is, he sleeps most of the way through hyperspace back to the base.

It is mildly surprising that it's already the next evening when he lands back at the base. Mustafar was quite far away, but... clearly, he was unconscious for longer than he realized.

"Where have you been?" a voice asks cheerfully, though it comes out the slightest bit slurred.

He climbs down the rest of the way from his fighter, turning to see Wedge and several of his other pilot friends standing there.

Friends who... he's admittedly been studiously avoiding ever since everything happened, except when he has to fight with them in battle. He knows their opinions of Vader, and from how all of them carefully avoided ever mentioning a thing to him about what happened with the Alliance even though he knows they heard about it, it made him wonder if they agreed. If they were glad that his father died like that. A couple of them had been close by, after all, when it happened but none of them had moved to intervene.

"I was gone on Jedi business," Luke replies, trying to keep his tone casual.

"Come with us," one of the others offers.

"Care for a drink?" Wedge suggests.

Maybe. What could it hurt? Maybe it will give him a momentary respite from the pain, guilt, and anger smothering him constantly. He can see how much those emotions are filling him with power right now, but... that doesn't mean a temporary respite from them doesn't sound welcome.

Unlike when he was with Leia, Han, and Chewbacca, he can't quite find himself enjoying his pilot friends' presences the way he used to. Or maybe he's a little too tense and caught up with thinking over what happened.

Drinking just a little distracts him for a short time, and maybe it would have lasted if not for when someone else shows up, asking if anyone cares to join their target practice on a picture of Vader.

"What?!" Luke all but snarls, jolting to his feet. He knew, of course, that in the past there were some rebels who did things like that because it made them feel better, but now, it feels like intentionally ripping open old wounds, even if it wasn't meant to. But Force, they would literally kill him and then continue to mock him like this?!

Wedge gives him an odd look. "What's wrong with you?"

"He's already dead," Luke growls, "Because of you! Because of the Alliance!" Another spear of pain and fury stab through him. He failed his father once because of them, and he won't again.

All of them are looking at him like he just grew two heads, and it only angers him even more. "Good riddance," one of them mutters.

"Why are you upset about that?" Wedge asks, incredulously.

'Because he's my father!' he wants to scream, but even through his somewhat-alcohol fogged mind, he knows that still needs to stay a secret.

"He wasn't what you think," Luke spits, hands clenching. Maybe this isn't all their fault, but he's too angry to care. He won't stand for them talking about his father like it's some good thing that he's gone, when they were the ones who murdered him.

"What are you talking about?" one of the others demands.

"He was a monster," a third adds.

"He killed thousands of rebels," Wedge cuts in.

"That's not excuse for murdering a prisoner," Luke snarls.

"It is if you're talking about Vader. He deserved it," one of them retorts.

And something in him explodes. He lashes out violently, furiously, throwing them and the table across the room, lifting the person who said that in a Force choke.

Make them hurt.

That's all he wants to do right now, and he clenches a hand, feeling through the Force as the bone snapping beneath his grip.

He feels a flare of vicious satisfaction for a moment, until he distinctly feels the life fading into the Force. Luke staggers a step back, coming back to himself as he fully takes in the scene around him.

Everyone is on the ground, one of them dead and... some of the others are obviously injured from how hard he threw them. He can see the blood on them, even if it doesn't look that bad, and –

Force, what did he do?!

What did he –

No, he just...

They're all looking at him with varying degrees of shock and horror, and he whirls around without even thinking, and runs.

He has no idea where he's going or what he's going to do, but he keeps on running, past anyone in his way, dodging anyone who tries to stop him, until he finally skids to a stop outside of his fighter.

He doesn't know where he's going or what he's doing but he can't stay there, because what did he just do? He literally killed someone, and –

Luke scrambles up the ladder, firing up the engines and blasting away from the base, heart still pounding. He just killed someone. For no reason.

Well it was for a reason, but it doesn't justify it. (Or does it?) Force, what was he thinking?

"Come to me."

Luke stills, hand clenching on the controls of the fighter. "What have I done?" he says out loud, shakily.

"They had it coming, with how they kept pushing you."

"How can you say that?" he snaps, and maybe half of what's making him so hysterical is how much he... thinks he should feel a lot worse about it then he does. There's a tiny part of him that's still viciously satisfied over what he did.

"Perhaps we can discuss this in person."

Right. That. He was supposed to be thinking about... that. "I..."

"You have nowhere else to go," the voice points out, and he can hardly argue with that logic. It's the truth. He doesn't have anywhere else to go. How can he go back to the Rebels after what he just did? How can he ever face Leia or Han or Chewie again, after what he did?

(What happened when his father Fell? Is this how he felt, when he first started down that path?)

"Where do I go?" Luke asks, numbly.

"Exegol," comes the reply, after a brief pause. Maybe it's just him, but he's almost certain there's a certain amount of satisfaction in the voice. Glee that... that reminds him of someone, but he can't quite place who or why.

Frankly, he's too shaken up to even care right now. What did he do?

The voice tells him the coordinates, and he enters them into the navicomputer, disappearing into hyperspace before anyone can come find him. He tightens his mental shields too, because he doesn't want to feel how his friends – or is that former friends? – will feel when they realize what he did.

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