November 2005
Buffy had generally avoided a life of crime but the going was tough and the tough needed to get going, which was made that much harder when their car broke down. "Stupid piece of shit!" Xander muttered as he kicked at one of the tires.
"I'm guessing the billowing smoke coming out of the front isn't of the good?" she asked with an innocent shrug.
Xander sent a grim smirk her way. "And you said you didn't know anything about cars," he bantered back. "There was a gas station a few miles back, maybe we can find a ride there."
"Like with a trucker?" she asked uneasily. She could take a skeezy trucker down with both hands tied behind her back but that didn't make the idea of traveling in a big rig any more appealing.
"More like in a small car that no one will notice is missing," her friend clarified.
Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You want to steal a car?"
Xander shrugged. "Desperate times and all that Buff. Besides, we need it more than they do and if we succeed in fixing the world they'll thank us in the end."
Buffy couldn't really argue with his logic. "Do you even know how to steal a car?" she asked skeptically.
"I'm kinda hoping that we can find one with the keys still inside but if we can't...I learned a thing or two from Spike," he told her uncomfortably.
Her mind reeled at that statement. "When did you and Spike boost cars together?" she asked incredulously.
"The summer you were...gone," he said as he brought one of his hands back to rub at the back of his neck. "There was this whole demon thing and we needed a distraction...anyway, I watched as Spike hot wired a few cars and I'd like to think I retained a bit of that knowledge.
"Huh," she grunted out in acknowledgment as she considered his words. The rest of their journey was relatively silent as they were both lost in their own thoughts. Buffy made it a point to walk within the piles of leaves built up along the side of the road, enjoying the crisp crunch as she walked over them. It reminded her of simpler times when she was a young girl playing in the fall leaves.
"You miss him," Xander suddenly spoke up.
Buffy squinted at him in confusion. "What?"
"Spike. You miss him like I miss Anya," he stated, it wasn't a question.
Buffy nodded slowly. "Yeah," she replied.
"You never really talked about him before we found out he was alive," he said without judgment.
"You never really talk about Anya," she pointed out softly.
"It hurts to talk about how much I miss her and how sorry I am for how things ended between us," he replied.
"I get that," she said quietly as she turned her attention back to the road.
"I know."
~BTVS~
She couldn't deny that there was a thrill of excitement that went up her spine as they boosted a car at the gas station and roared out of there, ignoring the attendant that came running after them with waving arms. They made a quick stop at their abandoned, broken vehicle to transfer their meager belongings into their new ride before putting as much space between them and the sleepy little Oklahoma town as possible.
They had now been in America for close to three months and had managed to make it nearly to Texas. Buffy assumed that this was probably about the area that Faith had been in when she'd first made contact with them which meant that Buffy and Xander had thus far been able to make progress quite a bit faster than Faith's gang had up to this point.
They still had not received any word from her fellow Slayer and Buffy was growing more and more uneasy and anxious as they slowly drew closer to the west coast. She was yanked out of her thoughts as Xander slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to an abrupt halt. She was flung forward, her arms automatically flying out to save her chest from hitting the dashboard.
She looked up, meeting Xander's wide eyes as she caught her breath, butterflies still dancing wildly in her stomach as she fought to calm herself down. She slowly turned to look out the windshield and couldn't help the exhalation of breath that left her as she took in the sight before her.
She unbuckled herself and shakily let herself out of the car. The sight before her reminded her a bit of standing on the edge of the Sunnydale crater, the asphalt had given way to some big impact and all that remained was a huge crack in the earth that separated them from the rest of the road that promised to lead them into Texas.
"Shit," Xander breathed out as he came to stand beside her. Buffy looked around, trying to find a way across.
"When's the last time you saw a turn off?" she asked him bleakly.
"One that didn't have a 'dead end' sign or barricade?" he asked and it was answer enough.
"Shit," she echoed.
Xander turned and walked back to the car, grabbing the map and unfolding it over the hood. He studied it for a few minutes before sighing. "We could double back towards Arkansas and enter Texas that way. Or we could go up into Kansas, through Colorado. Skip Texas completely and get into New Mexico."
Buffy huffed in frustration. "That'll add days and that's assuming there isn't more roadblocks like this on those routes," she pointed out as she flung an arm out to emphasize the damaged earth before them.
"I don't really see another option. A lot of the routes we already passed were washed out, Buff. This was our best bet."
Her eyes caught sight of a precarious strip of land that still connected their side to the other. It wasn't wide enough or stable enough for a car but maybe it would be for two people. She then looked to the other side and saw a few abandoned vehicles on the other side and assumed she wasn't the first person to think so.
"Or," she said. "We can pack up everything we can carry, walk over that little patch of land and steal us one of those cars," she suggested, pointing out across the great divide.
Xander looked over at the path doubtfully. "I don't suppose there's any way I could persuade you that that's a terrible idea?" he asked, resignation already heavy in his tone.
"We need to get to LA Xan," she said, wincing as the desperation she felt bled into her tone.
He sighed and shook his head. "Alright," he agreed. "Luckily we don't have much, huh?" he muttered as he started throwing the map and their food into a bag while she gathered the weapons.
Ten minutes later they'd managed to get to the narrow strip of land and Buffy's stomach clenched as she realized how precarious their little bridge really was. "Can I just say gulp?" Xander asked as he eyed the rocks that were falling from the bottom of the land bridge down into the deep crevice.
"Yeah, I'd say it calls for one," she replied distantly as she cautiously stepped onto the patch of grass, testing it a bit before putting her entire weight onto it. "I'll go first, wait until I get to the other side before you follow," she ordered.
"You sure that's a good idea Buffster? What if we get caught on either side?"
Buffy looked back at him, eyes serious. "Then at least we're both still alive and topside," she replied grimly.
"Right," Xander gulped again. "After you, then."
The path seemed as solid as she could hope for as she slowly made her way across, one foot in front of the other, and tried not to look down. She tried not to hear the rocks as they came loose from the underside of the strip of land she walked over and fell, tried to pretend she couldn't hear them as they bounced off of the rocky cliff walls until the sound of them were lost in the deep abyss.
A grass clod came up and fell over the side the moment her foot lifted up from it and she ignored the way her stomach clenched in fear and her breath caught in her throat. Ignored the little voice in her head that told her that maybe she should have listened to Xander. A deep sigh of relief expelled itself from her lungs as soon as her feet were back on solid land on the other side of the rift.
"Your turn Xan!" She yelled out across the chasm as she turned to watch his slow progress. She let her bag of weapons drop to her feet, rolling her shoulders to let the tension that had built up fall away, just as the thundering sound of rocks crashing against the jagged earth walls reached her ears. Her heart dropped into her stomach, green eyes widening as she watched the beginning of the land bridge start to fall away just a few feet behind where Xander was making his way across.
"Xander!" she yelled loudly. "Run!" she demanded. He turned to look back. "Don't look back! Just Run! Now! Run now!" she was frantic as she watched him pick of speed, his backpack bouncing and slamming into his back with every step. She watched in horror as the land literally disintegrated behind him. She could hear herself screaming at him to keep running but was barely aware of her own words.
She was aching to run out to him but some part of her held back, well aware that it would just cause more instability to the land. Ten feet. Eight feet. Six feet. Four feet. Two feet. One foot. The earth fell out from under him and a yelp escaped his mouth, his wide eyes catching hers as he started to fall.
Buffy worked on instinct, every move was reactionary and without thought, as she threw herself forward and swung her arm out wildly, barely believing it when her hand caught his. She used all her strength to hang on to him as her free arm swung back, her fingers digging into the dirt as she hung halfway inside the crater.
She groaned as the front half of her stretched down further, her leverage on the solid ground was tenuous at best. "Buffy," Xander called up, his eyes too peaceful as he looked up at her.
"No," she grit out angrily.
"If you don't let me go we're both going down," he told her calmly.
"No we're not," she replied stubbornly. "I'm going to swing you closer to the earth and you're gonna find something to hold on to so you can help me pull you up," she grunted as she strained under his weight. "Then you're going to lay off the donuts."
Xander let out a sharp, unexpected laugh and Buffy didn't give him any time to argue with her before swinging him towards the rock wall that she was hanging over. Her fingers lost a bit of purchase in the dirt and she sank a few inches deeper into the rift. Her heart was pounding wildly as she instinctively dug her toes into the ground to stop her continued slipping and began to acknowledge that this could be their end.
"That all you got, Slayer?" a familiar voice suddenly taunted her. "Done in by a bit of dirt? What a bloody waste," the voice scoffed harshly and she could almost picture his bright blue eyes searing into her. She dug her fingers back into the earth with renewed fervor.
Xander managed to grab onto a tree root that wove in and out of the rocky, dirt wall. It lessened the pressure on the Slayer enough that she was able to regain stability. She kept a tight hold on Xander as he slowly pulled himself up. It was slow going, his feet would slip and bring them both inches closer to death before her grip would bring him up short and he'd begin to climb again.
It seemed like what she imagined eons felt like when his free hand finally grasped the grass at the top of the cavern and Buffy rocked back onto her knees as she used all her strength, and both hands, to pull him out of the abyss. He came up easily and they both ended up sprawled out on the wonderfully solid land, breathing hard as they fought to recover.
"That's my girl," the voice in her head, that sounded suspiciously like Spike, echoed as she heaved breath after breath.
"You okay?" she coughed out, turning her head to look at her friend.
"Next time? We find a way around," Xander replied with a quick grin and they both devolved into incredulous laughter.
"Agreed," she replied through her guffaws.
After they'd recovered as best they could they found a Rav4 with a nearly full tank of gas and a set of keys still in the ignition. They threw their bags in the back and were back on their way towards Texas with a few hours left of daylight ahead of them. Buffy lowered her sun visor and jumped in surprise when a folded up piece of paper landed in her lap. She frowned as she picked it up and unfolded it, cold prickles of dread inching up her spine as she read the simple words.
"Do NOT go West."
Three and a Half Months Earlier
"Giles said he's only been able to secure passage for two people," Xander said as he came up beside Buffy and flopped onto the couch she was sitting on.
"Yeah. We're lucky to have found anyone willing to sneak us in," she sighed.
"I told him I was going to be the second person," Xander informed her nonchalantly.
Buffy looked at him in surprise. "Oh?" she asked.
Xander shrugged. "Giles said the position hadn't been filled yet and that he and Willow were needed here to start setting up the second line of defense with the newbie Slayers."
"That's true," Buffy said with a grin on her face and hope in her eyes. "Dawnie wanted to go but I told her that if the apocalypse wasn't enough to get me out of school then it sure as hell wasn't a good enough excuse for her."
Xander chuckled a bit. "I know I've been a bit distant since we found out about Spike…" he trailed off for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "You know, being alive and all," he sighed. "It's not 'cause I'm not happy that you have that second chance with the person you love," he assured her, looking at her with apology in his eyes. "It's just jealousy that I don't."
Buffy was quiet for a minute. "You're not mad at me?"
"For what?" he asked in confusion.
"Loving him?"
Xander exhaled deeply. "I deserve that," he muttered sadly. "I know I've been vampire enemy number one pretty much since day one," he acknowledged. "I should have wised up a long, long time ago. Anya didn't deserve the demon bias I had towards even her and I don't know why she put up with me as long as she did. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. And I'll never be Spike's biggest fan or anything but I liked him a hell of a lot better than Angel and he did die to save the world."
"And he fought for his soul," Buffy reminded him.
"And he did that," Xander agreed. He shook his head as a smile played over his lips. "Which I still can't wrap my head around," he chuckled. "Look, the point is that I don't hate the guy anymore and even if I did you deserve to be happy and if he's what does it for you then I want to help. Also, you need someone you trust watching your back. I hope I'm still that guy."
Buffy sent him a blinding smile as she tucked herself into his side. "Of course you are, Xan," she assured him. "And I don't think you were quite vamp enemy number one...it was Giles that plotted his death, remember?" she asked, the bitterness she felt whenever she thought of that betrayal making itself known in her tone.
"Yeah, even I wasn't on board with that one," he told her quietly.
"He might not be alive anymore," she whispered, giving voice to her darkest thoughts. "Faith hasn't heard from anyone in LA in months."
"Then at least you'll know that you tried to get to him and if it's too late...at least you'll know he went out fighting the good fight," Xander told her knowingly, not bothering with false platitudes. "It helps sometimes, when I think of Anya."
"Thank you, Xan," Buffy told him. "For more than just having my back."
"Right back atcha, Buffster," he replied with a grin.