Chapter 4: Diet coke and mentos

He kissed me. Naruto KISSED me. I thought I stopped breathing or exploded or both. He caught me completely off guard. My brain was high on dopamine it couldn't process any information. I was about to open my mouth and moved against his lips unconsciously when the lights came back on and his warm breath left me just as quick. I opened my eyes only to see the back of his neck. He avoided my eyes the rest of the visit. None of us said anything. I had a million questions but something stuck in my throat.

He followed me home in silence. I guessed he wanted to walk me home. There was guilty written all over his face. "I'm sorry." Finally he said when we reached our door. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't know what I was thinking… I didn't mean to…" he looked down, like a wet puppy.

"Don't go around and…, and touch people randomly without their consent," I didn't find it uncomfortable, it was the opposite. But it pissed me off when he said that he didn't mean to do it.

"It's not like that, I don't… I'm sorry. It was gross, wasn't it? I promise I won't…"

"Why did you do it?" I interrupted him. "I just want to know the reason. I don't hate you." I can never hate you, you usuratonkachi.

"I… I… I wanted to do it. I couldn't hold myself back."

"But, why?" I narrowed my eyes, grasping the umbrella's handle.

"Isn't it obvious? I —- —-." A loud thunder rumbled, drowning his words. I couldn't hear what he said. But I could read the movement of his mouth and saw him staring at me with his dewy eyes. A lighting struck, brutally tearing the sky apart, at the same time, another lighting struck my heart down.

"No freaking way" I whispered.

I lent Naruto my sweatsuit to change his wet clothes. He was milling about, shifting his glance around the room like a puppy looking for his favorite toy. He didn't know where to sit, even though he had been here many times before. "You're making me dizzy." I ordered him to stop. We sit across the coffee table. "We need to talk." Gosh, I was like his parents trying to ground him. I gave him another wasabi candy. I had a whole box at home which I bought a year ago, just in case.

"You said you li— hmm, have some kind of feelings for me." I should be on the ninth cloud right now but a deep down I thought wasn't this too good to be true? My question made him squirm in his zaisu. It might be the tone of my voice that sounded like an interrogation. "Is this a joke? A practical prank?"

"NO. I'm dead serious." He shook his head with intensity. "I would never do that to you, or anyone."

"So, did you mean, as a… friend?" Hundreds of theories flooded in my mind: He misunderstood his own feelings, he was in minor shock after the power outage at the museum, he was high on sugar by eating two candies, he was getting a cold because of the heavy rain…

"No, I mean romantically, as… lover." He flustered like a ripe tomato.

My heart skipped a beat at 'lover'. I sit up straight, trying keep my composure. "Why do you have this feeling? When did it start? Why did you choose today to confess? What characteristic do you find me attractive?" I wasn't going to stop my investigation any time soon. I simply didn't believe what he was saying.

"Geez, did you interview everyone who confessed to you like this?" He laughed nervously.

"Basically, yes." Usually, I didn't ask this many questions. I was only curious about why people liked me in order to figure out how to make them stop confessing. I just couldn't handling confessions. "And if their answer is that I look cool or I'm smart, I'll tell them they're shallow and fake."

"My gosh, poor those tortured hearts," he cried, pressing hands to his chest. "Next time just say that you can't return their feelings and thank them, won't you?"

"You think I'm an insensitive jerk?"

"Don't exaggerate. But there is other way to put them down kindly."

"Now, I don't know whether I am being confessing to or criticizing." I knew it. He couldn't like me for real. If he knew everything about me, he couldn't come to like me at all. I'd better stop this before it lead to deeper pain.

"I didn't mean to confess like this," he rubbed his neck, "I'm sorry I didn't give you a proper and romantic confession."

"I don't need those frivolous things." I blurted out.

"I somehow understand how people you rejected feel," he let out a small sigh.

"I haven't given my answer yet. Whatareyoutalkingabout?" I was feeling uneasy as my words made haste to pour out. Maybe I was worried he would change his mind about me. Normally, it didn't bother me if people dislike me after my rejection. I thought it was for the best. They would move on quicker. So even though I knew my words were insensitive, inconsiderate, I didn't try to change. This was truly karma.

"I want to make a grand gesture for the one I like, to prove my feelings for them, for you, not this slip of the tongue. To make you believe me." After a short awkward pause, he said. I saw the reflection of myself in his blue eyes as if I was the only one on his mind right now, like I was special, on top of the world. And it would be horrible to fall down from here.

"What grand gesture you think that will make me believe?"

"I don't know. At least, I should have been able to tell you what make me fall for you. But right now I can't think straight. There are many things I want to tell you but don't know where to start. You aren't perfect and I like you just as you are." He avoided making eye contact with me, scratching the back of his head. "Knowing your weaknesses makes me feel closer to you. You're insensitive sometimes but I know you aren't mean. You're straightforward. Even if you complain, you scold me, you never refuse to help me. You know how to solve problems. You give me good advices. You just think differently."

"It's like you're describing a good manager or teacher." I sounded like I was sulking but I didn't care.

Naruto gave me an awkward smile. "Okay, I failed terribly. This must be the least romantic confession ever in history."

"So what are you planning to do afterward?"

"I need to hear you answer first. But I don't want to push you or anything. If you don't return my feelings, it's totally okay. Just… don't hate or avoid me. I want to stay in your life. I'm happy being your friend." He reached out to touch my hand but held himself back. "I surely don't know everything about you but I'm craving to know more."

"What if we stay as friend, how long do you think your romantic feelings for me will go away?"

"This is such an extremely hard interview," He laughed softly, "I don't know. But let me tell you a secret: I broke up with Hinata because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I liked her. It's easy being with her. She is a great girl. But I don't feel about her like I feel about you. You aren't the easiest to be with. I mean, you are not easy at all. But you make me feel things I've never known before. For example, when my feelings are being questioned, interrogated, I should be sad or offended, but all I want is to hug you and tell you just believe me, then kiss you until our lips turn numb." He took a deep breath then smiled. "Well, I talked too much. I should leave and let you rest. Take your time to…"

I cut him off by an unexpected kiss, then whispered against his lips "stay!". His whole body froze by the sudden kiss. It was a bit awkward at first but then Naruto kissed me back aggressively. He reached out to cup my face, adjusting angle to deepen the kiss. His other hand slid down to the my waist, pulling me closer. His warm and firm body had never been this close. He shoved his tongue inside my mouth, hastily searching for pleasure. "Damn it, you taste like wasabi candy," I regretfully pushed the blond away to take a breath. I wasn't used to kissing. This was only my second time. He grinned then leaned forward to suck my under lip one more time. "And you taste like the most wonderful thing in my life" he brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. Our heated breath mingled. I was drowning in those bright blue eyes. I was simply happy, so happy that every single toes of mine was tingling with excitement. In a brief moment, I forgot about my worries, doubts and secret. I showered kisses all over his face, I like you too, on his nose, I like you so freaking much, his cheeks, his eyelids, I like you the most, his chin, his forehead, his ears… wishing this moment would never end.