One more prewritten chapter after this one.
A couple days later Alyssa and Megan sat with coffee on the back deck looking at the ocean.
"Mom, could I move in," Alyssa asked.
"Why," Megan asked.
"Matt and I aren't going to work," Alyssa said, "he moved out two weeks ago. I'm either coming here or going to Seattle with the girls. I just need something temporary until I can sell the house."
"You," Megan asked.
"It's in my name. I own it. He didn't have the down payment," Alyssa said, "he's paid me rent towards the mortgage. I bought for 695 and it's worth 1.1 now but most places are going over asking so I'll be able to buy."
"Work," Megan asked.
"I'm still getting EI from Canada for another 6 months," Alyssa said, "but US military has approached me again. It would be on your base. It's a pay cut from mountainside but cost of living and taxes are lower."
"Why don't you stay here for a bit and see," Megan suggested, "be here with me and Faroke. What about custody?"
"He cheated," Alyssa said, "it started before the girls were born."
"But legal custody, " Megan said, "we'll come back to the cheating in a moment."
"Why Seattle might be better," Alyssa said, "there's a research engineer position at Grey Sloan that the heads of trauma, neuro and cardio will back me for."
"I think you should talk to your aunt and uncle about this," Megan advised, "they both have been on both sides of cheating. I've cheated and been cheated on it hurts, it's hell."
"Uncle Owen and auntie Teddy," Alyssa asked.
"He cheated on Christina, " Megan said.
"Where was I," Alyssa asked.
"Teddy's I think," Megan guessed, "but he's cheated, both have been cheated on and she's been the other woman. I think you should talk to them."
"When," Alyssa asked.
"It's all Iraq era for her," Megan said, "we did things there we never would have at home. The stress. It was bad.
"I'll let them down," Alyssa said.
"No," Megan assured, "we all want you happy and healthy. Your mental health is a big part of that. Where are you going to have the most support?"
"Seattle," Alyssa admitted, "uncle Owen and auntie Teddy, grandma, I still have good friends in Seattle. Here I have you and mackie. The girls can play with Leo and Allison. They're adopting again, they want another baby but age is working against them. They should meet their new baby in a few weeks, I've seen pictures of the birth mom. She looks like Auntie Teddy, it's crazy. But the mom is like 14."
"Owen and Teddy are 50," Megan said.
"She's younger than him," Alyssa replied.
"Are you okay with having a cousin younger than your kids," Megan asked.
"As long as it's not a surprise sibling younger than my girls I'm good," Alyssa said, "they want it. They wanted a big family."
"Four kids," Megan said, "they've said three for a few years."
"Four of us," Alyssa replied, "they're Opa and Oma to the girls. She chose the German for them so you got grandma. I asked them to be grandparents."
"I knew you would," Megan said.
"I need to be with the family I grew up with," Alyssa said.
"It's only a couple hours from where you are now," Megan said, "Matt can easily come down and see them. You can go see all the Jarrett's easily. What if you rented your house out and rented in Seattle?"
"With the equity I have in the house if I sell I can be almost mortgage free," Alyssa said, "I keep my truck and importing it should be easy. I just have to change out the gages but I can do that. But I want to be close to you."
"I've been offered a promotion and a move to Fort Lewis. It's closer," Megan said, "two hours from Seattle."
"Are you taking it," Alyssa asked.
"I need to discuss it with Nathan," Megan said, "we're friends and legally to get Faroke here Nathan had to sponsor him and has legal custody with me."
"It's Seattle," Alyssa said, "let's both go home."
"I can't," Megan said, "Alyssa, Seattle isn't home to me anymore. If I was to go back to where I was happiest we'd be going to Baltimore."
"What if," Alyssa said, "I have my professional engineer and my degree in mechanical and materials I can work anywhere. I could do remote for mountainside. You're a surgeon, there's a doctor shortage. Take the girls and Faroke."
"If we." Megan asked.
"I have Faroke when you're on call," Alyssa said, "I can babysit my little brother. I work and I make good money. I don't need you to support us. I make more than Matt."
"What do you make," Megan asked, she had never asked what Alyssa made it hadn't mattered.
"115 a year before taxes," Alyssa said, "it's not doctor money but I'm only 30 and I have time to move up and make more."
"You do well," Megan said, "at your age as a resident I was making less than a third of that and supporting us."
"My girls," Alyssa said.
"You're stronger than I was," Megan replied, "we know better. You're going to fight for full custody of your girls and get Matt to pay child support. You're strong. We might not have shown you stable relationships but we have taught you how to be strong. I will be right with you. Whatever you need."
"I failed them," Alyssa said, "I promised myself I would give my kids a stable home, two parents. But I can't make it work with Matt."
"Do you love him," Megan asked.
"I love him but I can't trust him," Alyssa cried.
"Okay," Megan said, "there's options."
"Okay," Alyssa said, "leave or leave."
"Could you work through it," Megan asked, "with counselling? Would you do counselling?"
"How has that worked for you," Alyssa asked.
"Nate and I aren't a good example," Megan said, "it was too much time, too much distance, too much happened."
"No," Alyssa said, "mom he was sleeping with her while I was pregnant. While I was with our family because Faroke was sick. I found the messages on his phone. I don't want him anywhere near me. He said he loved me and we were talking about marriage. Then when I'm told I can't for my health and our daughters survival he sleeps with someone else? He's not going anywhere near our girls. This other girl is 19, a child he was involved with her while she was still 18. And he's been getting drunk most days. I won't expose Alex and Celeste to that. "
"Sweetheart your girls should have their dad in their lives," Megan said, "you and Matt do not have to be in a relationship but you should be a team. Derek and I should have been a team for you. That wasn't fair to you that we weren't. Nate and I aren't together but he's always going to be in your life and Farokes. He's coming tonight."
"Showing off Alex and Celeste," Alyssa asked.
"Yes," Megan said, "my grandbabies. Where are they?"
"Playing with their favourite Uncle," Alyssa answered, "he likes them and is so sweet with them."
"He's always liked little ones," Megan said.
"It's tummy time and he had a stack of their books to read to them," Alyssa said, "mom how do I do this?"
"What is going to make you and those girls be as happy and healthy as possible," Megan asked.
"I don't know," Alyssa cried, she broke down sobbing, it was the first time she had cried over the break up. She hadn't let herself trying to be strong for her girls.
"It's okay lady bug," Megan soothed, "we'll work it out. You will not be alone. I'm here baby. You cry and let me hold you."
"I need my mommy," Alyssa blubbered.
"I'm here," Megan assured, "I'm here."
"I can't see him," Alyssa said, "why wasn't I enough?"
"He was wrong," Megan said, "he'll have reasons, I did when I cheated on Nate in Iraq but it wasn't right. It was never right."
"How do I raise my girls alone," Alyssa asked.
"You don't," Megan replied, "you lean on me and Owen and Teddy. You tell them what happened and why you're moving home or with me. You do your very best and you are there as much as you can be for your girls. They will always know mommy loves them. And one day when you're ready, when the time is right you date again."
"How," Alyssa asked.
"Start by loving yourself as much as you love your daughters," Megan said, "learn to love yourself."
"I promised I would give them a stable home and a stable family," Alyssa sobbed, "parents who love them. I can't tell Uncle Owen and Auntie Teddy, I'm scared they'll be so mad at me."
"You will," Megan said, "a stable home doesn't mean mom and dad are together . It means people who love them. I had to learn that with you that your healthy stable home was where you were loved. And your first few years that was me and your uncle. Owen and Teddy won't be mad, they'll worry but they won't be mad. He always loved you as his own."
"He uses the same little phrases he used to use with me with Leo and Allison," Alyssa said.
"Tell him," Megan said, "they'll want to help you. Alyssa, safe, healthy and loved. You're not well right now ladybug. Stay here for a while, work on you and what you want. I'll help with the girls. I didn't do it alone with one."
"I've done it since we went back to BC when they were 5 weeks old," Alyssa said, "he hasn't slept in my room unless you were around since about 20 weeks. I was up and down too much and moved too much to get comfortable, I kept him up and he had to work. Now the girls are up at night."
"I've heard the three of you the last couple nights," Megan said.
"Alex first then Celeste," Alyssa said, "the both need to be changed and nursed at that point. They only get formula once or twice a day. I'm able to do it."
"What would be better for you," Megan asked.
"If someone could get up with them in the morning and let me have that 45 minutes to an hour," Alyssa said, "someone can give them a bottle and snuggle them in the morning."
"I can," Megan replied, "Alyssa you also have to tell me when you need help and what I can help with. Two babies is a lot."
"Diapers," Alyssa admitted, "and bath time is tricky. I have to do one at a time which means the other is fussing which is why I only do it every other day."
"I've been waiting for you to ask for help," Megan said, "I didn't want to push you because pushing myself in with you hasn't worked before."
"I need help mom," Alyssa said, "I don't know what I'm doing or what's next and I don't have time to not know."
"I think you do know," Megan said, 'but your scared to say it."
"I want to go home," Alyssa whispered, "I want to go home to Seattle."
"Then you make it happen," Megan said, "and I will always support you and love you."
Inside Faroke laughed at the faces his little nieces were making unaware of what was going on on the deck.
"Shh," Faroke shushed when Celeste began to cry, "Celeste your mom is outside."
Alyssa came in, "what happened sweet pea?"
"She just started crying," Faroke answered.
"I think she's hungry," Alyssa said, "Faroke let me get them some lunch then you and I can swap out the heater and Bowden tube on your printer while they nap."
"You know how," Faroke asked.
"I do," Alyssa said, "and I want to see what you've been working on in tinker cad."
"Lyss." Megan asked.
"Can you give Alex a bottle," Alyssa asked.
"Can I," Faroke looked hopeful.
"You can," Alyssa said, "let mom heat it."
"What am I using," Megan asked.
"The pumped milk bottle with the blue lid in the door of the fridge. Breast milk is blue lids, formula is purple lids ," Alyssa answered, "Celeste had formula earlier. She does better with it than Alex. Just mark it down on the chart. I try to keep it even."
"Where," Megan asked.
"I left the binder on the table," Alyssa said, "it's green. It has all their info in it."
Megan flipped through the binder, "detailed enough chart?"
"Auntie Teddy set it up for me," Alyssa said, "I was tired and overwhelmed and crying so she put the sheets together and I just have to print and fill them in. Grandma helped me figure out the colour code for their clothes and shoes."
"This looks like nicu charts," Megan said.
"It helps when others are around," Alyssa replied, "but 23 weeks today I should weigh them."
"And we should go swimming," Faroke said.
"Maybe next weekend," Megan said, "let Alyssa settle in here first."
"I'll take you to volleyball today." Alyssa offered, "practice is in an hour?"
"Alex and Celeste," Faroke asked.
"Mom can babysit," Alyssa replied, "mom do you mind?"
"I can," Megan said, "the girls need time with grandma. Maybe we can make sugar cookies."
"Lady bugs," Alyssa asked.
"Yes because your brother made me cookie cutters not long ago," Megan smiled, "lady bugs, lions."
"Axalotols," Faroke asked.
"You two will have to make me a sweet pea and a duck for the girls," Megan said.
"We will," Faroke said, "once Alyssa fixes the 3D printer."
"You're doing it with me," Alyssa said.
"Lyss what are you doing," Megan called from the kitchen.
"Supervising Faroke taking apart the printer and feeding Celeste," Alyssa replied.
"Are you," Megan asked.
"He can't see anything," Alyssa said, "and it's biology. I wasn't shielded from much biology info. The adults I was with were pretty honest with me."
"If you're comfortable with it I won't stop you," Megan said, "Faroke be respectful of Alyssa."
"Why does she do this," Faroke asked.
Megan joined them in the living room.
"This is how the girls get their food," Alyssa said, "in two or three weeks when the doctor says they're ready we can introduce solids. Until then most of their nutrition is from breast milk. Sometimes they get bottles but usually those are pumped breast milk. It lets you and mom feed them and help me out. We do a little bit of formula because I can't keep up with twins alone."
"The body is designed for one baby and to feed one baby so with twins things are harder and more risky," Megan explained, "Alyssa is working really hard physically."
"What about Matt," Faroke asked.
"He left," Alyssa finally told her brother, "Matt and I broke up and decided for their well being the girls are best with me."
"We'll be okay," Megan said, "Alyssa is going to stay for a while and the five of us are going to come up with a new plan. Alyssa and I are going to look for work in the same city. We'll likely all move. Nathan and I have to sell this house anyway."
Faroke asked," Vancouver?"
"It's possible," Megan said, "maybe Seattle, we've thrown around the idea of Boston or Baltimore we don't know yet. Alyssa only just told me outside and he left a couple weeks ago. We're working it out and you will have a voice and a say."
"What about Alex and Celeste," Faroke asked.
"I'll decide for them and Matt will need input," Alyssa said, "we'll make sure we're all okay."
"We are a family, the five of us," Megan said, "it'll work out."
"Mom," Alyssa asked.
"We can do it together," Megan promised, "the five of us together we'll be unstoppable."
That afternoon Alyssa walked into the gym with Faroke.
"Alyssa," her old roommate called.
"Mackie," Alyssa smiled.
"You're here but you have babies," Mackie said.
"I'm here for a few weeks, we'll do coffee," Alyssa said, "but I have twin girls. Alexandra and Celeste."
"Faroke loves them. It's all he talks about," Mackie said.
"He's a good uncle," Alyssa smiled.
"Where are they," Mackie asked.
"At my mom's napping," Alyssa replied. I'm going to do a few baby free errands while they're with my mom."
"So hubby," Mackie asked.
"Matt and I broke up," Alyssa replied, "a month ago. So I'm at my moms for a while."
"How," Mackie asked, "when do you go back to work?"
"Because I was in BC I get canadas 1 year maternity leave," Alyssa said, "and with dual citizenship I can come and go as I please. The girls have dual."
"Lyss, can you go get them and bring them to pick me up," Faroke asked.
"Not this time," Alyssa said, "but we'll all come to tomorrow's tournament."
"Today," Faroke asked.
"No," Alyssa said, "I'm trying to find a new bathing suit. I need something that isn't a two piece."
"No two piece," Mackie asked, "I'm sure I have some of our old beach volleyball uniforms."
"Nope," Alyssa said, "I'm 30 and have two kids."
"Should we decimate them," Mackie asked.
"I'm not playing again yet," Alyssa said, "once I start really working out again I'll come help."
"The girls are how old," Mackie asked.
"Five and a half months already," Alyssa said, "but they were three weeks early which for twins isn't uncommon."
"Do you have pictures," Mackie asked.
"I do," Alyssa smiled, pulling out her phone and showing her friend a photo of her and her girls on the beach the day before.
"They're identical," Mackie said.
"No," Alyssa said, "Fraternal. That's Alex on the left and Celeste on the right."
"How do you know they're so little," Mackie said.
"Different blood types," Alyssa replied.
"They're gorgeous," Mackie replied, "like their mom."
"Thanks," Alyssa smiled, "I'll let you start practice and can work with him at home. I'm here for at least a couple months. My girls need to know my mom."
Nathan knocked on Megan's door. She went to open it carrying Celeste who she had just changed and was about to read to while her sister still napped.
"Hi," Nathan said looking shocked, "did you forget to tell me something."
"This is Celeste," Megan said, "I never got to tell you Alyssa had twins. By the time I knew Lyss was pregnant you and I had broken up."
"So this is your," Nathan said.
"One of my granddaughters, Nate," Megan smiled, "Celeste and Alexandra."
"So Lyss is visiting with what's his name," Nathan said.
"They broke up," Megan said, 'she's staying here for a few months."
"Is she okay," Nathan asked.
"Devestated," Megan said, "there's similarities to Derek and you and I."
"Cheating," Nathan asked.
"Ya," Megan replied, "she's talking to me. She said she would talk to Teddy and Owen, they don't know yet. We have people who love her in place to support her. I'm suggesting therapy."
"Alyssa," Nathan asked.
"Focused on her girls," Megan said, "twins are a lot. She drove down for three days with them. She's not letting herself feel it and focusing on the girls. She needs to give in to the feelings and let herself feel but she was raised by my brother and Teddy who deny those big hard feelings until they explode."
"Can I meet them," Nathan asked.
"I want to ask Lyss first," Megan answered.
Megan texted Alyssa who gave her permission for Nathan to see and play with her girls. As they walked into the living room Alex began to cry in the pack and play.
"Nate, can you play with Celeste so I can change Alex," Megan asked.
"I can," Nathan agreed, had he not messed everything up with Megan this would have been his granddaughter.
Megan changed Alex on the family room floor then laid her on her tummy on a play mat.
"They don't crawl yet and can roll from front to back . Alex is stronger and rolls back to front. Celeste will soon," megan said.
"Full names," Nathan asked when Megan came back.
"Alexandra Megan Hunt and Celeste Theodora Hunt," Megan said, "technically their last names are hyphenated with the jerks last name but I won't use it. Alyssa's is as well legally."
"I knew Alyssa's is," Nathan said, "but how are you?"
"Furious," Megan hissed, "I want to fly up there and kill him. Nate I want to kill Matt and make it look like an accident. Owen would help me hide the body right?"
"You and Owen are not murdering Matt," Nathan said, "but other than that? I miss you."
"I miss you and part of me will always love you," Megan said, "Nate we are great friends we don't work as a couple. I love you and I always will but we're not going back there."
"I know," Nathan agreed, "but I want to be in your life and I'm not losing my son, we have grandkids Megan."
"I do let Alyssa decide what the girls will see you as," Megan replied.
"Hunt and Altman," Nathan asked.
"Teddy chose the German for them," Megan smiled, "she's Oma and he's Opa. I'm grandma. I'm shocked Alyssa hasn't told them about Matt yet. I was the last to know about Alex and Celeste. She was afraid to tell me for some reason."
"But she came to you," Nathan said, "Megan just be here and be her mom. What did your mom do when Derek left?"
"When I kicked him out," Megan asked.
"Ya," Nathan said, "I was hanging out with Owen. I knew what was going on because he wanted to kill Derek. I had to hold him back a couple times from going to look for him."
"I want to and so will Owen," Megan said, "he used her and cheated, he's used her for years. But she's here for now and I guess I just listen like my mom did."
"Let her decide," Nathan said, "how's she holding up?"
"She was sobbing," Megan said, "full body shaking sobs."
In Seattle Owen was in the emergency room working on a woman around Alyssa's age. Her young nieces hovered outside the curtain.
"They can't lose another parent," the woman said, "I'm all they have."
"Their parents," Owen asked.
"A car accident a few years ago," the woman replied, "I was never planning on having kids but they needed me, they need me. I'm all they have and I love them. I just don't know how to do this."
"You love them," Owen said, "you let us treat you and you love them. I raised my niece, you show up and you love them you give them every ounce of love you have and that's all they need."
"Your niece," the woman asked.
"Alyssa just turned 30," Owen said, "she has daughters of her own, my granddaughters."
"I can't give them trips and the latest game system," the woman said.
"It didn't matter," Owen said, "Lyss doesn't talk about the things, she remembers backyard campouts, hikes, beach days, that I went to every volleyball game I could and I never missed a dance recital. They'll remember that you showed up, that you were there for them, you cooked together and played classic rock in the kitchen, that you built a lego set together instead of watching TV and had ice cream every night when their homework was done. They'll remember the little things. And the big things you were there and you love them."
"How do you know," the woman asked.
"Because she's talked about doing the same things with her kids," Owen said, "that she wants them to have those memories."
"Did you have help," the woman asked.
"A lot," Owen admitted, "do you? Who can we call before we take you up to surgery?"
"My mom," the woman said, 'she's in Tacoma."
"We'll call," Owen said, "we'll take care of you. We have you."
"Your niece what does she call you," the woman asked, "the youngest has been trying to call me mom."
"My wife and I have always been Auntie Teddy and Uncle Owen," Owen said.
"I can keep that boundary," the woman asked.
"It's between you and your girls," Owen said, 'but they will always be your kids. They know how much you love them and appreciate them."
"I don't want them to forget their mom," the woman said.
"I felt the same," Owen replied, "we talked about her mom and I shared my memories and stories and we had her mom's picture up in the house. You help them remember. Lets get you up to surgery. I'm going to go scrub and will meet you in there."
"Thank you dr Hunt," the woman said.
"Any time," Owen replied, "and we'll have someone come sit with your nieces. Theres a stash of colouring books somewhere. Do they have allergies?"
"No," the woman said.
"We'll get them some cocoa and cookies," Owen replied, 'you and I should be done in about 90 minutes."
Alyssa and Faroke got back to Megan's.
"There's my girls," Alyssa smiled seeing her babies playing on the floor.
"Good to see you two," Nathan teased.
"Nathan," Alyssa forced a smile sitting down with them.
"Congratulations kiddo," Nathan said, 'they're gorgeous. Alex looks like you did when you were that little."
"You knew Alyssa as a baby," Faroke asked.
"I was friends with Owen and your mom first," Nathan said, 'I remember baby Alyssa. Alex looks like she did the same determined look on her face when she wanted something. Alex looks more like Alyssa but Celeste has Megan's eyes."
"She does," Alyssa agreed, "they're my world."
"They are," Nathan said, 'but we wanted to talk to both of you. Megan and I aren't going to be a couple again. We've been emailing and we've come to some decisions."
"We're still good friends," Megan said, "we still want to be friends."
"Faroke you are my son," Nathan said, "Alyssa I've never known what to call you but I have loved you and cared about you since you were as tiny as your girls. Step daughter is the best I've ever come up with. But I still want to be in both of your lives however you want me to be. I want to know these little girls. I want to be in your lives but it's your choice, you especially Lyss."
Alyssa hugged Nathan, "we've always talked and texted Nathan. I want to see you and have you around and I want you to be in my girls lives."
"Please don't go again," Faroke said.
"Megan's filled me in," Nathan said, "I'm going to look for something close to where the five of you go."
"Okay," Alyssa said.
"We will work it out," Nathan said, "and Lyss what do the girls need? I would have sent you a baby gift months ago if I had known."
"They don't need anything," Alyssa said, 'but they love stories and story time. You used to read to me and tell me stories about New Zealand can you tell them the stories?"
"I will," Nathan assured.
"Mom we're they okay," Alyssa asked.
"Angels," Megan smiled.
"With dirty diapers," Nathan chuckled.
"Did they eat," Alyssa asked.
"I gave them formula," Megan said, "both had a bottle of formula I fed Alex and Nate fed Celeste."
"Thank you for watching them," Alyssa said.
"I want to," Megan smiled, "you have your hands full on your own with two."
"I do," Alyssa agreed, "but I'm putting routines and systems in place. Uncle Owen and Auntie Teddy had routines and procedures for everything but it made life easy. I knew what to expect."
'Those things give kids comfort," Megan said, "you'll work it out Lyss. You're a Hunt, we always do."