"Alyssa we need to talk," Megan snapped as Alyssa poured herself a glass of wine.
"Want one," Alyssa offered.
"No," Megan said, "of the last six nights you've been drunk three of them. Enough. It's 2pm anyway. "
"It's not that bad," Alyssa said.
"Lyss last night you were vomiting you were so drunk," Megan snapped, "it's that bad. You are damm lucky I was here and looked after your daughters. I get it your entire world has fallen apart. Matt left, he cheated, he left you with three month old twins on your own. You are also making choices. Put the wine down and come talk to me."
"Mom," Alyssa groaned.
"We're not drinking," Megan said, "Alyssa if you want custody of your kids you can't drink like this. Alyssa you have to be sober to parent. I kept Derek away because he was drinking, and doing drugs and cheating."
"Hasn't changed," Alyssa shrugged, "he refused to hold the girls."
"I think this is a trauma reaction from you," Megan said, "Alyssa you need help. The future you saw for yourself and your children is gone. The stability you thought you had that you had been searching for is gone. How can we help you find that stability? You don't need wine, I don't want it in my house until you are mentally in a better place. If you want to keep drinking you can go home. I can only help you if you are sober."
"Everyone fucking leaves me," Alyssa roared, "Every One! The people who say they love me always leave. I'm always alone. I don't know why you care because you left. You left two. You're my mom and you left me. You left me like everyone else."
"Stop," Megan said, putting her hands on Alyssa's shoulders.
Alyssa shoved her off.
"You left," Alyssa screamed, "I was nine and you left me with grandma for your big adventure to play soldier. You left your own daughter. Derek left before I even knew him, he never gave a flying rat's ass about me. Uncle Owen played soldier. Beth disappeared. Christina moved to Switzerland. Auntie Teddy went to Germany. Henry fucking died. Nathan went with you then was around when it was convenient. Matt cheated and moved out. And I'm left behind every time. I'm left alone while everyone else gets to do what ever the fuck they want. I'm always left for everyone else's dreams. I wanted one simple fucking thing. I wanted to be loved to have my kids know they're loved but that's apparently too much to ask. So like everyone else Matt left. Because that's all I'm good for. I'm just the person who gets left behind, forgotten, discarded. I'm just something for everyone else to get around an obstacle in the way. I can't fucking do it any more because I matter. My feelings matter two."
"I hear you," Megan assured, "I'm sorry for leaving you. I didn't know how hard it would be. Alyssa I was wrong. I shouldn't have left you."
"I should be used to it," Alyssa ranted.
"No you shouldn't," Megan said., "I felt so abandoned when my dad had to go away like I did. Then when dad died in a car accident. Lyss, your dad left me like Matt left you."
"My babies I'm doing the same to my babies," Alyssa sobbed.
"No you're not," Megan said, "because we learned from me and Derek. And you're not me. You're not in the military, you're 30 not 20, you're 10 years older than I was."
"But he left them," Alyssa bawled, "they got left at five months."
"And you came to me," Megan said, "you came here. I don't know why you didn't sooner."
"I left the day I got their passports," Alyssa replied, "I was waiting for passports and Faroke shouldn't travel unless he has to you're a single mom. I had everything in the truck when I picked up their Canadian passports."
"Why didn't you call your uncle," Megan asked, "why didn't you tell Teddy or grandma?"
"I'm embarrassed," Alyssa said, "they did so much to give me a stable home life and how do I repay them by failing my girls."
"You have not failed," Megan said, "Alyssa we will work this out. You are not alone. You will not do this alone."
"I live in burnaby ," Alyssa said, "you're a three hour flight away."
"You said yourself that moving is an option," Megan said.
"I'm not going to consider the army offer unless I can be a civilian contractor," Alyssa replied, "I can't do that to my kids. I won't do what you did."
"I know you won't," Megan said, "the Grey Sloan job is promising. Go home, go to Seattle, you have people there."
"I can't," Alyssa snapped.
"Why," Megan asked.
"Because I failed," Alyssa said.
"You haven't," Megan assured, "I felt the same and telling my mom."
"I'm scared," Alyssa said.
"You are so much more prepared than I was," Megan said, "you own your home, you have a career and you planned your daughters and you have me. I won't let you struggle and feel as alone as I did."
"I'm alone," Alyssa said.
"You feel alone but we won't let you be alone," Megan said.
"You can't say that because you've left me before," Alyssa said, "you all have."
Megan's phone rang, interrupting them.
"Owen," Megan barked answering it.
"Why are you in a mood," Owen asked.
"Lyss is here," Megan said.
"I knew she was surprising you," Owen said, "she's still there?"
"Getting her sorted out. It's a nightmare ," Megan said.
"Do I need to come down," Owen asked.
"Yes," Megan said, "Owen she needs you and she's scared. She doesn't want to tell you."
"What's wrong," Owen asked, "Alex and Celeste?"
"The girls are napping," Megan said, "they're happy and growing. They love beach walks and tummy time and are close to rolling all the way . It's Lyss we're worried about."
"Megan you have to tell me," Owen said, "is she sick?"
"No," Megan said, "it's trauma and mental health. She's not doing well Owen. We need to help her."
"Where's Matt," Owen asked, "did he fly down?"
"No," Megan said. She covered the end of her phone, "lyss im telling Owen. You need him and he'll tell Teddy."
Alyssa nodded.
"They broke up three other four weeks ago," Megan said, "she caught him cheating. It started just after your wedding. He's been sleeping with the other woman. She's barely 18. Lyss fled to me. Owen I'm over my head here. She's breaking. She's a mess. We need you."
"I'll tell Teddy and be on the first flight tomorrow," Owen said, "I'll text you my flight info and Uber to you. What's she saying?"
"That she's alone and everyone leaves her," Megan said.
"I'm for sure coming maybe Teddy," Owen said.
"What might I be doing," Teddy asked.
Owen turned to her.
"Matt cheated. Lyss is at Megan's and an absolute mess," Owen said.
"We're going," Teddy replied.
"Teddy," Owen asked.
"It's preschool for ours," Teddy said, "we're going. Alyssa needs us. She needs all three of us."
"Teddy and I are coming," Owen said.
"Good," Megan replied, "she's been so strong for all of us. We hardly got to celebrate her babies because you were hurt and Faroke was so sick. Lyss needs us to put her first. She's not well."
"Teddy is booking the first flight we can get," Owen said.
"Owen pack," Teddy called, "there's one in 3hours you can go tonight. The flights at 6 you'll land at 8 and be there by nine thirty."
"You and the kids," Owen asked.
"I texted your mom," Teddy said, "Evelyn and I will fly with the kids at ten am."
Owen relayed the information to Megan and quickly packed an overnight bag. Teddy would bring more clothes tomorrow.
Alyssa heard Celeste cry and walked upstairs to get her daughter.
"Shh baby mommy's here," Alyssa soothed, "I got you. Let's clean you up and then we can have a good snuggle while your sister sleeps."
Alyssa changed Celeste and sat on the bed to feed her. Gently cradling her daughter as she nursed.
"Lyss," Megan asked at the door.
"Just feeding Celeste," Alyssa sniffled.
Megan opened the door, "oh lady bug."
"We'll be okay right Duckie," Alyssa said, "I just needed to lose it today."
"Your aunt and uncle are on their way," Megan said, "Owen comes tonight then Teddy, grandma and the kids tomorrow afternoon. Lyss you need them and you're afraid to ask them but I'm not. You need Owen and Teddy here."
"Mom, can you stay with me tonight," Alyssa asked.
"While Owen and Teddy are here let's move you Alex and Celeste to my room," Megan said, "it's the king bed and we'll put the bassinets on your side but I'll be right there to help if they wake up. I can give bottles or change diapers or rock or snuggle ."
Alyssa nodded tears still streaming down her face. Alex began to fuss making Alyssa cry harder.
"Shh baby girl," Megan smiled at Alex," grandma's here. I've got you."
"Her diaper," Alyssa said.
"I've got it," Megan replied, changing Alex.
"Now she needs food," Alyssa said, "mom I've got this."
"You do," Megan said, "can I take their beds across the hall?"
"Yes," Alyssa replied.
Owen arrived after Faroke had gone to bed Megan let him in and led him to the living room where Alyssa sat on the couch staring blankly at the wall. Owen sat beside Alyssa, "Lyss. You doing okay kiddo?"
"No," Alyssa stuttered, "Matt cheated. I kicked him out. He won't answer my calls or text me back about my babies. I'm alone."
"You are not alone," Owen said knowing Alyssa's biggest fear, "your mom, aunt and I won't let you be alone. We are a family and we stick together. "
Alyssa collapsed crying.
Owen wrapped his niece in a bear hug, "I'm here. You're okay we'll work it out. Lyss we always work it out. Your not alone. Matt was wrong he was so wrong to cheat on you."
"Why am I never good enough," Alyssa asked, "you left, mom, Henry, Christina auntie Teddy went for a while."
"I know all of your caregivers left you or died. I know it feels like everyone you love leaves you, " Owen said, "I know you don't trust people or relationships."
"You let yourself trust Matt," Megan said.
"I love him," Alyssa sobbed.
"Then you have a couple choices," Owen said, "you can work it out or you can start over."
"Start over," Alyssa said, "I will not be cheated on."
"That's fair," Owen said, "so kiddo a plan?"
"I don't know," Alyssa sobbed, "I'm scared."
"I know," Owen soothed, "I know. You are not alone. I'm here, your mom is here. Grandma and auntie Teddy are coming. Meredith asked me about you today and Bailey and Webber."
"When we talked to Nathan last weekend he still wants to be in your life and Farokes," Megan said, "let him in."
"Can I go back to Seattle," Alyssa asked.
"Yes," Owen replied, "come stay with us or grandma and we'll help you find a place."
"I need to sell my house," Alyssa said.
"Teddy and I will come up and help you pack and move," Owen replied.
"I can do it," Alyssa said, "I'm not working, I have time when they sleep. I'll work out what to do with our stuff. And Matt still has stuff."
"Can he gets in," Owen asked.
"I changed the locks and the alarm code," Alyssa replied, "I took my cat to Catie's."
"You planned coming down," Owen said.
"I had almost two weeks," Alyssa replied, "I planned and packed. I had his parents come get most of his stuff a couple days after I threw him out. It's just two big tool boxes in the garage and some bigger tools that his parents and I couldn't move. He has a table saw, band saw and drill press."
"We don't have to plan tonight," Owen replied.
"Lyss tonight you need to let all these feelings out safely," Megan said, "what do you want to do?"
"I want to run until I physically can't anymore," Alyssa said, "I just want to run and never stop."
"We will run tomorrow morning," Megan said, "let Faroke babysit for an hour while they nap and go run."
Upstairs a baby cried.
"Celeste," Alyssa said, "she's my needier one."
"That's a hungry cry," Megan said.
"It is she's growing," Alyssa said, "she grows first then Alex catches up."
"Fraternal," Owen confirmed.
"Yes," Alyssa said, "the last couple weeks their hair is really starting to grow. Alex has reddish hair and Celeste is a brunette for sure."
She walked upstairs and fed both girls before curling up on the bed sobbing. Megan heard her and went upstairs she wrapped her arms around alyssa and held her daughter tight whispering to her and rubbing her back like she had as a little girl. Owen joined them sitting on the edge of the bed not speaking but silently reassuring both Alyssa and Megan. When Alyssa had friend all the tears she could Owen left the room and Megan helped her completely exhausted daughter get ready for bed.
The next morning Alyssa stood on the sun deck staring at the waves and sipping her coffee when her phone rang.
"Hello," Alyssa answered.
"Is this Alyssa Hunt," the voice asked.
"It is," Alyssa replied.
"Alyssa it's Nick Saker calling from Mountainside. I know your on maternity leave but I'd like you and your family to consider something, I have an offer you might like," nick said.
"Okay," Alyssa said, "what's the offer?"
"We're moving forward with the Seattle office in January and would like you to head up the surgical tools division in Seattle," Nick offered.
"That's quiet the offer," Alyssa said.
"We are aware of your dual citizenship which makes you perfect for this role," Nick said, "I know you've been a driving force in the neuro and cardiac surgical tools for years and your connections are at a hospital in Seattle."
"Grey Sloan memorial," alyssa replied, "I know the heads of trauma surgery, cardiothoracic surgery and neurosurgery very well and am well acquainted with the chief of surgery and residency director. In terms of the offer other than requiring that I move my 5 and a half month old twins."
"So it would be a raise," Nick said, "an additional 30 grand a year, you run your team for surgical tools. It will be small to start 2-3 juniors reporting to you in Seattle with room to grow as the office grows. There would be a moving allowance."
"Healthcare and benefits," Alyssa asked, "I grew up in Seattle medical care is not cheap."
"We are looking at a plan that would cover 90% of most costs and 100% of preventive care after a $100 yearly deductible," nick said.
"Will my daughters have the same coverage," Alyssa asked, "they were three weeks premature and do need ongoing care. Does that include dental and vision?"
"Vision would be covered as well as dental," Nick said, "your extended health would be similar to what you currently have."
"Start date," alyssa asked.
"When you finish maternity leave," Nick replied, "there may be a few meetings in November and December we may ask you to come in for or join through teams but you will have your entire maternity leave. How are your daughters?"
"Alex and Celeste are good," alyssa smiled, "we're actually in LA to see my mom for a few weeks."
"Consider the offer," Nick said, "talk to your husband."
"I'm single," Alyssa replied, "but I do need to speak to my ex about the custody agreement with me moving to Seattle and bringing my children."
"I'll touch base in a week," Nick said, "take the time to think about it Alyssa."
"If I have to say no," alyssa asked, "I'm interested it's just going to depend on my ex."
"Then you stay at the down town Vancouver office," Nick said, "we'll move you to running cardiothoracic surgery tools that seems to be your strength anyway."
"The aunt who raised me is a cardiothroatic surgeon,'' Alyssa replied, "we do a lot with auntie Teddy and her team at Grey Sloan. I will let you know that I've had an offer of a similar position from the US military based in LA which is attractive because it's close to my mom. She's a trauma surgeon in the hospital there and while the salary isn't as attractive as your offering they are offering full medical and dental. For me and my kids."
"You would go military," Nick said.
"I'm an army kid," Alyssa said, "second generation. My grandparents both served, my mom and stepfather, uncle and aunt. I won't enlist now but I considering it as a civilian contractor because it's close to my mom and baby brother. Seattle I'm close to my aunt, uncle, cousins and grandma. Nick I need full medical care if I'm to go back to America. My twins were premature they're healthy but will need monitoring as they grow. "
"I'll look into the medical," Nick said, "there will be a moving allowance to move if you choose to take the offer we will pay to ship your stuff and give you paid time to find a new home."
"Start date," alyssa asked.
"February 1st 2024," Nick said, "after your maternity leave officially ends. The office won't open until then anyway."
"I'll think about it and let you know," Alyssa agreed.
They ended the call and she kept staring at the water. Seattle, a job in Seattle she could do she wasn't serious about the military position she would take it if it meant closer to Megan and Faroke but that was it. With this offer she could sell her house in Burnaby and go home to Seattle, houses were cheaper there, she could get something that worked for her, a cute little three bedroom close to work or to uncle Owens. But LA meant help with her girls and her moms help.
"Morning kiddo," Owen greeted stepping out onto the deck, "your mom went to work and dropped Faroke off at school. Arguing with Matt?"
"Haven't heard from him yet," alyssa said, "that was the ceo of mountainside. They're opening a Seattle office and offered me running surgical tools there."
"Take it," Owen said, "come home."
"I've been looking into switching back to aeronautics," alyssa said, "I miss planes. I'm good at medical and it's precision work there's no room for flaws or error in medical but it's not planes. I love planes I still want to do my pilots one day. My degree is mechanical and materials it would work in aviation."
"Jobs," Owen asked.
"Lots around Vancouver and Seattle," Alyssa replied, "I've been looking and working on my resume. But the mountainside job is a $20,000 raise. I can't turn that down as a single mom. I want to make things fly but maybe it's not the time. My girls have to come first."
"Lyss that doesn't mean you can't be happy as well," Owen assured, "what do you want to do?"
"I want to come home," Alyssa said.
"Then when you're ready you come home," Owen said, "you can always come home."
"I think I want to stay here with mom while I figure it out," Alyssa said, "you and auntie Teddy are adopting a new baby you're busy you don't need my messy life and my girls there when you have a new born."
"We found out two days ago that the mom has decided to keep her baby," Owen said, "it's okay. We're still on the list and prepared to foster to adopt again as well. It'll take time."
"I'm sorry," Alyssa said, "I know you're disappointed."
"We are," Owen agreed, "but we knew that until the papers had all been signed it was a possibility."
"It still sucks," Alyssa said.
"It does," Owen agreed, "but maybe it's not the right time for us. It'll happen when it's right. We didn't expect you or Leo or Allison or Faroke or Alex and Celeste but you all came into our lives exactly when you were supposed to. It'll happen when it's time."
"Why did Matt cheat," Alyssa asked.
"Because you're too strong for him," Owen said, "it's not right it will never be right but you were too good for him, too smart, too strong. Matt is the type of man that wants to dominate and over power and you challenged him. He thought when you had the girls that you might soften but it's only made you stronger. Matt wanted to control and dominate you and you protected yourself and didn't let him."
"We never mixed finances," Alyssa said, "I still have to battle him about hospital bills from the girls care. My own I get that I pay, but he can pay part of the girls."
"No but you kept your career he encouraged you to work from home and free lance many many times and you stood your ground," Owen said, "that was him trying to isolate you so he had control. Alyssa you are better away from him you should never have been with him. We were concerned all of us then COVID I think you hid how manipulative he is or you didn't see it but we all did."
"I wanted what he promised," Alyssa said, "what I wanted as a kid."
"You wanted a home and your kids to have two loving parents," Owen said, "I know you wanted that and your dad to be around. I don't know if we always did the best job showing you healthy relationships. Alyssa you will create a stable home for your girls. You crave that stable home life because your mom went away. But you came to her first this time you didn't tell us."
"I couldn't," Alyssa said staring out at the water, "I let you down. Mom doesn't have that same level of expectation. Everything you did for me that you chose to do and I let you down."
"You have made me proud," Owen smiled, "Lyss you did the hard thing and looked after your family. I'm proud of you."
Inside a baby cried.
"Alex," Alyssa said, "I guess nap one is over."
"I'll come play with them," Owen said, "I doubt you've showered yet."
"I haven't," Alyssa said, "girls snack then a shower and you can play with them."
"Deal," Owen agreed following Alyssa inside.