Shawn let Juliet's hand slide out of his and watched her walk down the hallway. He knew she was taking this hard. He knew she was scared for Lassiter. Shawn was scared too. Lassie was Juliet's protection. He knew she could take care of herself, but knowing that Lassie was always there to have her back, especially when Shawn wasn't involved, always made him feel better.
"Marlowe, how are you?" Gus asked, sitting down across from her.
"I'm okay," she said gently, smiling. "I mean, I've been better."
"Marlowe, you're never alone, okay?"
Marlowe nodded and tilted her eyes towards the ceiling lights.
Shawn knew the feeling though. He knew what it felt like to be the one stuck in the waiting room, his whole world in one of those loud rooms.
"I've been there," Shawn said to Marlow, turning to face her directly. "I know what those long nights are like after everyone else has to go home. And how uncomfortable the makeshift bed is. I know what it feels like to be the one fielding all the questions from everyone. It sucks. It's exhausting. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm so sorry."
"I just…" Marlowe's voice trailed off for a moment. "I'm so exhausted and scared and it hasn't even been a whole day. But everything changed so quickly. I just don't know what to do or think or… how am I going to work? And take care of Lily? And what about Karen and Juliet? They're trying to help out but they have to go to work too. What are they going to do?"
"Listen, we're a team," Gus said.
"Yeah, like you said before. We're his family. We'll make it work," Shawn responded.
Shawn looked up with the sound of little heels walking quickly down the hall. He knew it was her before he looked up. He didn't even need to see her to recognize her walk.
He jumped up to hug her. "You're okay," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear. "He'll be okay."
"Shawn, I don't even recognize him," she whispered back before breaking the hug and going to sit next to Marlowe again. She took Marlowe's hand and squeezed it tightly.
"What can we do for you?" Juliet said, jumping into no-nonsense mode that had gotten Shawn out of so many ruts before.
"I don't even know," Marlowe said, gazing down the hallway. "I don't know what I need. I guess we just wait now, I think. They said they're monitoring the pressure in his head to make sure it doesn't go up anymore. I guess this surgery was supposed to help. I don't understand. People just keep talking at me. No one will explain this to me. I feel like I need a PhD in neuroscience to understand any of what they're saying."
"It's okay," Juliet said. "It feels overwhelming. It feels like a lot of information at first. Unfortunately, it all becomes familiar as time goes on. You become an expert in topics you never had any intention of becoming an expert in."
Shawn nodded in regretful agreement. He thought about all the eighteen-letter names for drugs that Juliet had been on when she was sick, and how he could somehow name every one of them without looking at the labels by the time she was done with them.
"I'm gonna go see Lassie," Shawn said. He felt like he needed to see him. He hadn't actually seen him since he had been admitted. He had spent all his time in the waiting rooms. But Juliet was going back to see him, he felt like he needed to as well. Talk some sense into him.
"You sure?" Gus asked quietly, concern in his eyes.
Shawn just nodded, holding out his fist for his best friend before walking away.
"1203," Marlowe called to him as he left, giving him a soft smile.
The hallways felt blinding with the reflection of the bright lights bouncing from the white tiles to the shiny white walls. He squinted slightly and walked until he found his way to the correct door. He could see Lassie's feet falling to the side in a lazy point before he even walked through the door frame. A few more steps in and he could see the rest of Lassie's limp body completely still.
He willed himself to walk into the room and sit down next to him. He hated this position- next to a hospital bed. It felt so pathetic, sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone fighting for their life to magically get better. Knowing that in all reality, there was nothing he could do for Lassiter. All he could do was sit next to him and hope for the best.
But talking had helped him get through long nights with Juliet when she was so out of it she couldn't think straight. He would sit next to her and have conversations with her while she blurted out slurred nonsense in a state of intense exhaustion.
Thinking about those nights made him shiver. He tried to shake off the discomfort he had felt back then watching her struggle to finish the same sentence she had started not fifteen seconds earlier.
"Hey Lassie," Shawn said to the limp pile of limbs and tubes twisted together. He looked like the scene in Christmas Vacation with the Christmas lights tangled into a giant ball. "It's Shawn."
You sound like an idiot.
"I… uh…" Shawn struggled to find the right words. "You need to get better, okay? Jules needs her partner back. You've got a lot of people counting on you. I don't know if I can trust her life in anyone else's hands but yours. So I'm gonna need those hands to work."
He tried to smile but his face felt too heavy.
"Besides, who's gonna keep me and Gus in line if you're not around? I mean, mostly me. We need you, man."
He gave Carlton's stiff hand a quick pat.
"We're not leaving you here, okay? It's not happening. I would rather move to Canada."