Author's note: New batch of updates from chapters 30-34 as of 13/10/2022. Update illustrations for chapter 29.
Update warning for genitals spanking.
Chapter 30 The Home Invasion
If someone stepped foot inside Gin's home without permission, he would pick up his gun and blow the poor sod's brain out. However, when that someone brought a suitcase and a few soppy stories, he had to let her in, make her dinner, and watch her steal his life. Oh, joy!
The doorbell rang, and Gin's hell began. One peek through the peephole, and he couldn't regret his life's choices fast enough. He could have taken his family on a vacation. They could have enjoyed Vermouth's break from her crazy schedule in Switzerland, and appreciated two feet of snow instead of the depressing sleet covering London. Why? Why didn't they go? Right, because his beloved wife wanted to be close to family during the holiday season. And by family, she meant Michael.
Gin took a deep breath and opened the door while blocking the way, having no intention of welcoming his guest. He said curtly to the brown-haired woman occupying his porch, "She's not home."
"Who is it?" As if on cue, Vermouth's voice echoed from the kitchen.
"Are you sure?" Yukiko smirked and made her presence known. "Sharon?"
"Yukiko?" Vermouth called out and got to the door. After a quick scan of her old friend's barely applied makeup, her tone shifted to worry. "What's wrong?"
"I can't talk about it." Yukiko groaned. "Can I trouble you for a drink?
"Of course." Vermouth dislodged her husband's steel grip on the doorframe despite his resistance, nudged him aside, and signaled the fellow actress to come in. "Gin, be a dear and help her with the luggage."
"I'm not her lackey." He growled.
"Please." Vermouth pecked his lips and indicated that the curious little girl was watching their every moment. "Your daughter is watching."
"Fine," he said through gritted teeth and heaved the suitcase inside.
"Thank you," Yukiko said, her grin rubbing salt in his wound.
The moment Vermouth made her way to the kitchen and out of earshot, he slammed the heavy luggage down and whispered ferociously. "You can thank me by staying at the hotel."
"And miss spending time with this cutie pie?" Yukiko cooed, picking Kate up. "Do you miss me?"
"Yes! Can you stay here forever?" Kate asked, and her father couldn't roll his eyes hard enough.
"Aw. Aren't you the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world?" Yukiko squeezed Kate tighter, pressing their cheeks together.
"Red or white?" Vermouth asked, holding up two bottles of wine.
"Surprise me."
Thus, the dismantling of Gin's life commenced.
-o0o-
Yukiko settled down on the couch and downed a glass of red wine. Words started flowing into Vermouth's empathetic ears. "Can you believe him? The shack was in the middle of nowhere. No running water. No electricity."
Vermouth reached over the coffee table for the decanter and indulgently topped off the empty glass.
"I had to get water from a well with a bucket. A bucket! So Yu can get an authentic feel for his new novel." Red liquid filled Yukiko's glass. In the blink of an eye, it was gone.
Sitting next to Vermouth, Kate tugged at her mother's sleeve, clutched a throw pillow closer, and scowled at her father in the kitchen. "Daddy won't do something like that, right?"
"Fat chance." Despite standing all the way by the stove, Gin kept a close ear on their not-so-quiet conversation. He tossed a colorful mixture of vegetables in his skillet and nonchalantly said loud enough for everyone to hear, "I'd be dead by sunrise."
"He's kidding." Vermouth brought a glass of red to her lips, disguising a satisfying smile as she sipped.
"No, I'm not." He put the skillet down and glared at his wife. "You will kill me."
"Don't be silly. I would never harm you." Vermouth held her chest in exaggerated horror. Her scared expression shifted to a twisted glee. "You'll just have an accident."
"Ha. Ha." Gin laughed through gritted teeth and signaled her to join him in the kitchen. Once they had some privacy, he growled as quietly as he could manage. "Are you getting her drunk?"
With a grin, Vermouth offered him her glass of wine. "Take a sip."
He complied and immediately frowned. "It's watered down."
"It's not my first time babysitting Yukiko. Being upset dulls her senses. She shouldn't be alone." She glanced affectionately at her junior, who was busy cuddling her daughter.
"Then call her husband. Call her son. I don't care. Just get her out." He snarled.
She narrowed her eyes dangerously, snatching back her wine. "Yusaku deserves to suffer a little."
"I don't. What did I do?" He barked.
"She won't be here long." She grinned and peppered him with kisses, her nails trailing down his back, tickling his spine. Caressing his shoulder with her chin, she said, "And I'm sure Yukiko wouldn't mind watching Katie sometimes."
Softened by the affection, he begrudgingly said, "Fine."
Little did he know the implication. Only when Vermouth was left his sight did it dawn on him. Wait! Her five minutes turned into five hours. How not long exactly? A day? A week? A week!? His brain might have short-circuited at the ramification.
-o0o-
Akai peered through his living room windows at the house across the street and told whoever was on the other line of his call. "Yes, she's here. She seems fine. Why didn't you call her?" He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His tone dropped a notch lower than usual. "Oh, you did. I see. I will keep you updated."
"What's wrong?" Akemi asked as soon as he returned to the dining table.
"Mr. Kudo and Mrs. Kudo quarrel." As Akai took his seat, he explained to his wife and mother, then pondered Gin's frustration emitting from across the street. Then he warned Akemi. "You might want to avoid Gin in the meantime."
"Why?"
"He isn't in the best mood." And that would be an understatement.
-o0o-
Vermouth was about to enjoy her dinner when her phone rang. "Look who's calling me now." She arched an eyebrow and showed Yukiko the caller ID. The call was promptly declined without mercy.
"Savoy has a three days two nights free deal in one of their luxury suites." On this rare occasion, Gin ignored his steaming hot meal and stared down at his phone.
"No, it doesn't." Yukiko smirked, leaned in closer, and gazed steadily at him.
"It will if you play your cards right." He missed the days when he could simply shoot his problems.
"Nonsense." Vermouth instantly dismissed the idea and reassured Yukiko. "You're not staying at a hotel." Spending time with someone who shared her more conventional pastimes would be a nice break from all the bloody documentaries.
"We don't have a guest bedroom anymore, remember?" Gin didn't miss the chance to remind Vermouth, then gloated over his guest's misfortune. "Unless you want to sleep in a princess castle."
"A princess castle?" Yukiko asked.
Vermouth sighed and pulled up some pictures on her phone. "It's Katie's birthday gift. It does have a mattress if you don't mind."
The gloriously pink castle emerged from the screen, having a twin low loft bed perfectly capable of housing an adult. Yukiko flipped through the album and cooed. "Oh, how cozy!" Her smile was directed at the grumpy man who just happened to bend his fork in the same breath. "I wouldn't mind one bit."
He should have known the women didn't operate the same way as him.
-o0o-
Being the forever helpful lady, Yukiko stood up and helped clear the dishes when Vermouth promptly held her back. "Yukiko, sit down, relax. You're the guest."
"Unwelcome guest." Gin quietly grumbled in his wife's ears.
"I welcome her." Vermouth whispered back. Her glare swept past him, squashing his argument in the process. Then, with a bright smile, she turned to her friend. "Do you mind watching Katie for a minute?"
"Sure." Yukiko hoisted the girl up and beamed. "Do you want to do something fun, sweetheart?"
"Yes!" Kate immediately brightened up.
Vermouth's sharp glare diced her man up as soon as the pair sauntered away to the living room and out of earshot. "Behave."
"How long is she going to be here?" Gin asked, shoving a handful of spoons into the dishwasher; utensils clattered loudly under the force.
"Who knows?" Vermouth tilted her head, her fingers tracing along his pecs. "But if you fail to be the conscientious host that I expect you to be, maybe I'll ask her to move here. We can be neighbors."
And a cringe of untold magnitude gobbled him up. "Well played."
-o0o-
"Katie is so cute." On the couch, Yukiko sat the girl in front of her and braided the bountiful blonde hair with colorful ribbons while giving the scowling man in the armchair a trip down the traumatizing lane. "I've always wanted a girl. I was sure Shinichi was a girl for the first couple of months. I bought so many dresses."
"What a shame!" Vermouth said, painting Kate's nails.
"No, they didn't go to waste." Yukiko perked up, browsing the photo library on her phone. What was wrong with dressing her son up? No one shared her enthusiasm for photography, not even her husband. Well, no one except Sharon. She flipped through each picture and explained. "This is him as Madonna. Classic. Cher, Gretta Garbo, Sayuri Yoshinaga. He was adorable in a kimono."
"Aw—" Vermouth melted a little.
"No! You're not dressing up your daughter. Princess costumes were bad enough." He snapped and nipped the idea in the bud. In front of his eyes, the women resembled two hurricanes feeding off one another and merging into a super hurricane. There was a real chance that his house would turn into a photography studio. He wouldn't put it past these women.
"Spoilsport." Vermouth brushed off his objection and continued her stroll down Shinichi's childhood. "There are only a few pictures of him in costumes as a toddler."
"He started talking." Yukiko winced, then mimicked Shinichi's baby voice and grouchy demeanor. "No, mom, no."
Vermouth chuckled softly into her drink while Kate giggled. Then, the girl hugged Yukiko and urged. "Do it again!"
"No, mommy. No!" Yukiko was even more exaggerated the second time, making Kate fall backward and guffaw with her whole body.
"Do it again!"
"No! Mommy! No!"
"I wonder why." Gin muttered sarcastically to himself, watching the madness unfold.
"Katie, do you know what you need?" Yukiko asked, her eyes twinkling.
"No, but you'll tell me." Kate grinned.
"You need a facial!"
"She's four. She doesn't need a facial." He growled desperately, one hand partially covering his sight.
"We're just having fun, aren't we? Some yogurt, some cucumber slices, some oatmeal." Vermouth pinched Kate's cheeks. "Unless daddy wants to join?" She slowly turned her head toward Gin, daring him. Her expression brightened when he picked up a book and thus admitted defeat. She stood up and headed for the kitchen. "I'll prepare the facemasks."
"Katie, let's go wash our faces." Yukiko picked the girl up and made a beeline for the restroom.
"Okay." Kate nodded, wrapping her arms around Yukiko's neck.
He sarcastically said, "Sure, now you love washing up."
"Yukiko is making me pretty." Kate stuck her tongue out at him.
Yukiko's eyes twinkled. "No, sweetie. I'll make you sparkle."
"You don't mean with glitter?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the pair until they disappeared from his sight, and he still didn't get any answer. He walked briskly to the kitchen, looming over Vermouth's shoulders like a dark specter haunting her from behind. "She'd better not mean glitter. I'm not cleaning up her mess."
"Relax. We don't have any." Vermouth reassured him, thinly slicing a cucumber.
"Doesn't she have a husband to annoy?" He leaned over the kitchen counter with his hands on the marble surface, his muscular chest enveloping her slender back.
"Trust me. He's miserable." She chuckled, adding equal parts yogurt, honey, and oatmeal in a bowl and mixing it with a spoon.
"Annoy the brat then. It's the holiday season. He can't say no."
She grabbed her knife and thrust the tip at his throat, a hairbreadth closer, and it would have been a tragedy. Cool steel chilled the air as the light glinted off the sharp end. "Don't you dare. Shinichi is on vacation with my angel."
"You're willing to stab your husband for their vacation?" He leaned in, daring her. His skin dipped where the sharp tip was pressing.
"Don't. Test. Me." She tapped the blade on his throat. Her glare burned with the intensity of a thousand suns. But otherwise, she left him unharmed. "My angel has been waiting forever. For once, they have a little peace."
A smirk plastered on his lips; his arms folded. He knew it. The old Vermouth would have sliced him by now. Satisfied with her reaction, he adopted a playful tone. "You mean for now. He's the premier grim reaper."
She grimaced. "Don't jinx it."
"Mommy, I'm done." Kate eagerly announced her return, giving her mother just enough time to hide the knife and put on a smile.
"I'll be right there, sweetie." Vermouth's glare swept past Gin one last time before she walked to the couch with a bowl of mixture and a dish of thinly sliced cucumber. She sat down next to her daughter. "Ready, baby?"
"Yes." Kate leaned back into the couch.
"Close your eyes. It's a little cold, a little sticky. But you have to promise me to stay still."
"I promise." Kate complied and relaxed as Gin got back to his favorite armchair.
Vermouth applied a thick coat of the blend on the girl's face. "Give me a thumbs up if you're okay." She smiled at two little thumps wiggling for attention. "Speaking of masks, I'm quite impressed with yours. I didn't recognize Akai in his disguise."
He was about to resume reading when his ears perked up at the information. He didn't recognize Akai either. The disguise completely fooled him.
"You think so." Yukiko beamed with pride. It was a compliment of the highest order from the master of disguise. "He had absolutely no experience, so I had to start from scratch."
"I should have known. Subaru's features are your type." Vermouth smirked, mischief dancing in her eyes.
Yukiko smiled cheekily. "Don't tell Yu. Shuichi is so cute. I made up excuses just to drop by."
"I see." Vermouth drawled; her expression softened in realization. "That's why you taught him cooking."
"He was going to live on takeout and instant noodles. Poor thing."
"Poor handsome thing." Vermouth purred and knowingly eyed Yukiko. Her words adopted a playful hue.
Yukiko cupped her cheeks, blushing. "Please don't tell Yu."
He roared, "How about not telling me?" Hearing how women falling all over his nemesis in his own house was worse than taking a bullet in the face. "I'm still here." His protest fell on deaf ears, as the women were lost in gossip land. Even Kate keenly listened despite not fully understanding the chitchat.
"He's easy on the eye." Vermouth tilted her head to the side in agreement.
"You're married, woman!" His glare bore a hole in her side.
"It's an objective comment." Vermouth rolled her eyes in disbelief. Akai shot her, broke her ribs, and foiled her plans time after time. Whatever his physical attractiveness might have caused was buried under six feet of soil. "How did you get him to learn that fast? Even with a premade mask, the process still requires a delicate touch."
"So true!" Yukiko eagerly nodded. She knew Sharon would understand the dilemma. What a fresh appreciation for the art! "I added a little of my special latex recipe for easier application." She couldn't risk him nicking or worse tearing his mask while putting it on. She had to find the right balance between sturdy and realistic. After many sleepless nights, she finally cracked the code. "I'll send you the recipe."
Vermouth grinned, applying the mixture to her face. "There's no need, Yukiko. We have plenty of time. Just show me tomorrow."
"Sounds good."
Dread overcame him as the thought of waking up in the morning and seeing Yukiko's face sank in. He didn't know how long his head was slumped in his hands when content moans caught his attention. He looked up to see the ladies relaxing on the couch side by side with white masks on their faces, and cucumber slices covering their eyelids.
"Uhm." Their moans harmonized.
He groaned in agony.
-o0o-
After thoroughly washing off the mask with water and drying her face with a towel, Kate exclaimed and cupped her cheeks. "My skin is soft like butter!"
"You can't feel that after fifteen minutes." Gin frowned at the ridiculousness.
"I can feel my face, daddy."
"You're four years old. Of course, your face is soft." He sneered.
"Alright, sweetie. It's your bedtime. You can annoy daddy some more tomorrow." Vermouth added cheekily, inciting a disapproving dark look from him.
"Sure, but can Yukiko read me bedtime stories? Please." Kate was impressed with the actress's voice imitation earlier.
"Why not?" Yukiko said. Who wouldn't want to spend more time with this cutie pie?
"No!" Gin snapped, walking briskly toward his daughter, hoisting her up by the waist despite her protest. He shot back a glare before carrying the flailing girl upstairs. "I read her bedtime stories!" The woman waltzed into his home, hogged his wife, and cuddled with his daughter. But she crossed the line. Ever since Kate's newfound love for the macabre flourished, telling her a bedtime story had been the cherry on top of his day. Yukiko had to walk over his literal cold dead body for that privilege.
Vermouth smiled, affectionately watching the pair disappear before explaining to her confused friend. "It's a father and daughter thing."
"Oh! Isn't that sweet?" Yukiko exclaimed then her joy was replaced with more confusion. "I still can't imagine him reading fairy tales."
"Understandable." Vermouth didn't even want to think about what he read to her dear daughter. Instead, she looked the other way, taking comfort in the fact that they were bonding.
Now that the kitty was off to bed. A light bulb went off in Yukiko's head. "You know what I can never watch with Yu?"
"Go on." Vermouth leaned back on the couch, sipping her wine, her eyes twinkling.
-o0o-
Gin must have left for about half an hour. However, when he came downstairs, he was enraged at the sight of muscular men in g-strings gyrating on the television screen. Gripping the back of the couch where the women were sitting, he bellowed, "I read to your daughter so you can watch porn!"
"It's an artistic expression of movements." Vermouth grinned, hiding the remote behind her back.
"You're describing porn!"
"It's a proper movie," Yukiko said. Technically, it was classified in the comedy-drama category. "Haven't you heard of Magic Mike?"
"Porn!" He spat. His glare was incinerating. His grip clawed at the soft fabric.
"It's not porn. They're still wearing—" Vermouth was making a point when a change of scene rendered her argument useless. "I spoke too soon."
"What do you mean?" Yukiko wondered for a split second then her brain finished comprehending the image. She yelped like a wounded Bambi and covered her eyes as if acid had blinded them. "Ah!"
He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a moment to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, veins bulging in his temples. "Is that a pump?" His eyes opened and the thing was still there. Bigger even. He glared down at his amused wife. "On his dick?"
"Yes." Vermouth grinned, gathering a shocked Yukiko into her arms. Rocking her friend gently back and forth, she said, "There, there."
"Is it gone?" Yukiko whimpered, still covering her eyes, leaning into Vermouth's warm embrace.
"It's not a horror movie, Yukiko." Vermouth chuckled, her hand stroking circles on Yukiko's back.
"You're acting shy now?" He sneered, glaring at the shriveled-up Yukiko in his wife's embrace. A grown woman who was married most of her adult life suddenly became shy after glimpsing a man's genitals. Ridiculous.
"Don't snap at her." Vermouth's voice was low and grating, effectively cutting back his intensity. She glanced at the screen and back at Yukiko with a hint of amusement. "Yes, you're safe."
Yukiko peeked with one eye open through her fingers and breathed out a sigh of relief. Putting her hands down, she leaned back on the couch.
"I thought you wanted to watch?" Vermouth's brow arched at Yukiko's uneasiness.
"I wasn't expecting … that." Yukiko pouted. She read that the content was quite mild, consisting mostly of dancing.
He rolled his eyes at their interactions. Momentarily, he thought he was done being traumatized. Then, a thought occurred to him. He whispered in a dangerous tone, his hot breath against Vermouth's ears. "Do not get any ideas."
"No promises." Vermouth smirked, dangled the vague answer like a knife on his head, and took in the image of his white knuckles. "You don't have to watch with us. Go to bed."
"And let you enjoy yourself." He took a deep breath, then flopped down on an armchair with his arms folded. "No."
"Suffer at your own discretion." Vermouth arched her eyebrows and took his defiant in stride, more amused than irritated.
"Why are you so calm?" Yukiko asked her friend. She almost died from sheer shock.
For once, Gin and Yukiko had the same question. His suspicion was mounting. He piled on. "Yes, why?"
Vermouth rolled her eyes. "I know these people. I've worked with them before. It ruined the fantasy after someone asked you for waxing tips."
"Oh, true. They had to wax everything, didn't they?" The smooth chests should have clued Yukiko in. She was too caught up in the heat of dancing.
"Yes, everything from neck down. Gone. It wasn't pretty." Vermouth took a long sip of wine before divulging. "They screamed like little girls."
"Really?" Yukiko asked, glancing at the muscular display on the screen, and then back at her friend.
"Some put baby girls to shame."
"Aw, you've ruined it." Yukiko whined, poking Vermouth's arm. It was one thing to hear gossip, but coming from a renowned actress, she took it as fact. How could she enjoy the movie anymore?
Vermouth said with a hint of amusement in her tone, "Sorry."
"What about shaving? It'll be less painful." Yukiko wondered; she remembered seeing an actor do so in the movie.
"You know the problem with shaving is that hair grows back into stubble within a couple of days. Have you seen a stubble back or chest, Yukiko? Not sexy." Vermouth explained. "Chafed by someone's stubble is even less so."
Yukiko immediately turned her gaze to the only man in the room, making Vermouth chuckle in the process. She quickly clarified, saving her man's dignity. "No, it wasn't him." She leaned in and whispered into Yukiko's ears, earning a quiet snicker from the other actress. "He's quite smooth actually."
He didn't catch what Vermouth said, but her expression incited such a bad taste in his mouth. "Could you please stop talking?"
"Again. You don't have to be here. Go to bed." Vermouth smirked at his pain.
However, he stood, or in this case, sat his ground. Judging from what he had heard so far, he shuddered to think what they talked about without his interfering.
Yukiko bobbed her head in understanding and said, "Yu is the same, but he has this one long chest hair. I just want to snip it." Her two fingers imitated a pair of scissors.
Vermouth chuckled heartily at the mental image, wine crashing inside her glass.
"Please, stop talking!" He considered going to the bathroom and poured bleach down his ears.
-o0o-
Gin lay on the bed with his arms crossed, quietly stewing. It was by far the worst night of his life, and that was after taking into account all the time he was riddled with bullets and broken bones.
In a nightgown, Vermouth chuckled and settled comfortably next to him. "Yukiko is a force of nature. You don't fight a tornado. You take cover and let the tornado take its course."
"And watch her lay waste to my life." He scoffed.
"You'll be fine." She unfolded his forearm and wrapped it around her waist. "She'll warm up to you. Eventually."
"Like how you warm up to her husband," he said, arching an eyebrow.
"No comment." She chuckled softly, snuggling closer.
-o0o-