Knock, knock. Who's there? Pain.

Red Base

Grif: And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and.. shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. (sighs)

Sarge: (exhales in exasperation) Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?

Hanby: Hey Fong! help me why don't Ya!?

Fong: I am! But, I don't wanna!

Hanby: Fuck!

Simmons: You know, its a good thing we still got a second one...

Grif: I-I don't know, uh, like, uh, what.. ten, ten.. twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, you-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?

Sarge: Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten-second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya.

Lopez stops working and Terrorizer follows, stands up to face Grif.

Grif: Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sorry here, and-

Lopez puts down his tool for a gun.

Sarge: Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.

Grif: (backing away) Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then.

Lopez and Sarge look at each other then turn and start firing at Grif. As Terrorizer returns fixing the warthog.

Grif: Hey guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here.

Blue Base

Cunningham: So that's basically it... They have over seven guys over there, and uhmmm... Another warthog...

Tex: And your flag. (reloads)

Cunningham: Right, that too.

Shots were heard

Tucker: Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here. Only Basically does that, and when his pissed off...

Pans, showing Tex has been firing at Caboose.

Caboose: I'm scared.

Jonathan: Don't worry Caboose, were also scared.

Tucker: So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?

Tex: (looks at Tucker while reloading a gun)

Tucker: Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-

Tex runs off.

Tucker: Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later.

Caboose: (whispering loudly) I don't think he likes you.

Tucker: …Thanks.

Cunningham: Hey were you going?

Tex: Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.

Caboose: Oh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans.. porter...

Jonathan:... Should we help?

Red Base

Grif: So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because SOMEBODY didn't believe in it.

Simmons: Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges.

Patterson: Man, why you gotta be SUCH a kiss-ass?

Grif: Maybe, we should ask Sarge to change his codename to; Kiss-ass?

Patterson: Great Idea!

Donut: Hey, since I captured the flag, d'ya think they'll give me my own color armor and a codename now?

Simmons: What do you mean "captured"? You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot.

Donut: Still, you think there's a shot?

Simmons: Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog.

Grif: Hyeah, heh-wait... You don't.. You don't think they'd do that, do you?

Patterson: Maybe...

To the other reds

Sarge: Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingy there.

Lopez stands up.

Sarge: I think that's what's makin' that rattle.

Hanby: Sarge I think we should let this handle ourselves?

Sarge: Uhhh, well... Alright then

Lopez returns back to work. Invisible Tex runs behind Sarge.

Sarge: What the...? What was that?

To Fong and Wine

Wine: Man I cant believe I got hit by a tank!

Fong:(doing a nail polish movement)… Nah, It's alright maaaaan.

Grif: Simmons, what's going on? What's over there?

Simmons: (looking over the edge of the base) I thought I saw something for a second.

Patterson: I don't see it...

Grif: Hey rookie, tuck the flag some place safe until we can figure out what's goin' on.

Donut: Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway. (drops the flag into the middle of the base)

Simmons: Did you hear that?

Grif: Yeah.

Donut: (whispering) Hey! What's going on?

Patterson: Why are you whispering?

Donut: (brief pause) I dunno. (shrugs)

A plasma grenade then laches onto Donut's back of his head

Grif: What the fuck?

Donut: What?

Simmons: (turns around) What is that thing?

Patterson: I think its the same thing, Vanoss threw at the tank.

Donut: (concerned) What thing?

Grif: That thing? what was it again?

Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!

Simmons: No, it's not a spider, it's, like a.. blue thing.

Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!

Grif: It's not a spider! Calm down. It's some kinda.. fuzzy, pulsating thing.

Donut: That doesn't sound much better than a spider.

Simmons: Does it hurt?

Donut: No.

Simmons: Maybe we should try to take it off.

Grif: Good idea. Go for it.

Simmons: Me? By "we" I meant "you". Asshole.

Patterson: Hold on... I think its a grenade.

Simmons:...

Grif:...

Donut:... Well somebody needs to get it off, before it explo-

Donut is interrupted as the grenade explodes.

Patterson: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Grif and Simmons: Son of a Bitch!

Donut: Ah! the back of my head!

Grif: Sim- Where'd he go?

The sound of someone getting hit.

Grif: (heard in distance) Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die!

Shorts: XX/XX/2554

Fong: ALRIGHT!

Fong slammed the iron table looking in front Wine.

Wine: Alright!

Patterson: Alright!

Grif: (lazily) Alright.

Simmons: Alri-

Hanby: Can we just move on now!

Simmons: Aww...

Donut: Alrigh-

Donut gets punched in the front of his helmet by Hanby.

Donut: Ouchy!

Fong: ANYWAYS!... So!-

Wine Interrupts.

Wine: Pffftt, "ALRIGHT! ANYWAYS! SO", what the fuck (laugh)

Fong:... So Wine! Why are you here. How did you get to our... position.

Simmons: What have you done to get here?

shows a board filled with pictures of everything the Reds and Blues done.

Donut and Wine: Woah

Wine: (genuinely intimidated) You've done all of these?

Donut: Woah, Genuine Intimidation

Wine: I haven't done any of these.

Fong: Don't worry man, With us around, You'll get the fun out of these!

Wine: Like what?

Fong: Like… Uhh…

… Building a Giant Rocket Dick?...

Wine:...

Fong: That explodes white water in impact?...

Donut: …Is it tasty?...

Donut gets slapped in the back.

Donut: Ouchy!

Wine:...

Fong:...

Wine:... Okay.