Warning: Character death ahead.
Finally, on an unusually warm day at the beginning of June, Harry's stag Patronus found Sirius. From it, Harry's voice emerged. "The Headmistress is opening Hogwarts to you so you can watch the graduation! Are you available? Please come if you can! Prongs, my stag that is, will wait for a reply."
"You have no idea, Prongslet!" Sirius muttered to himself. "Am I free? The question is am I ever busy?" But to the stag, Sirius simply said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
Sirius allowed himself plenty of time to work his way north to Hogwarts. He paused between the winged boars at the entrance gate and then hesitantly floated through them. When nothing happened, he shrugged and continued up to the castle.
The entrance hall was full of students and parents milling about. Sirius floated up to the ceiling so he could look for Harry. When he was unsuccessful, he floated up to the seventh floor Gryffindor common room. There he found Harry tugging on dress robes. The wizard looked up as he was smoothing out the last wrinkle. "Sirius! I'm so happy you were able to come! Say, did you see Ron downstairs? He forgot his ascot. Can you bring it to … I mean can you tell him I'll bring it down with me?"
Sirius hid his hurt at being treated as an owl when this was the first time he'd seen Harry in months. "Sure, no problem! I saw a cluster of redheads when I came in. Say, did you want to invite them to Grimmauld Place afterwards? The place hasn't seen a real party for far too long."
"Oh – did I forget to tell you we're all meeting at the Burrow later? Of course, you're invited too."
"When did you plan … never mind. Sounds like great fun! I'll be right back after I find Ron."
Harry heading for the door. "I can just meet you down there – I'm done here and will be right behind you. Did you see if Ginny was with them? She looks beautiful, doesn't she?"
Sirius, who had been looking for Harry so hadn't paid much attention to the other students, merely nodded.
"Graduates, over here now. Graduates, come this way," came the booming voice of Hagrid as Sirius approached the entrance hall.
The actual ceremony was longer than normal with students who should have graduated the year before joining the current seventh years. While the Hogwarts ghosts joined the faculty and staff, Sirius, as the only guest spirit, joined the families but over their heads so he had a great view as names were announced. Harry got a huge cheer, but Sirius felt bittersweet. He was happy to be there for Harry, but was sad that the boy, the man now, had no other family to dote on him. He resolved to be all the family Harry could ever want.
The post-graduation party at the Weasleys was punctured by fireworks that spelled out the names of the graduates, a pick-up Quidditch game, and a massive spread of food that Sirius wished he could taste. Sirius recognized many of the guests, including Hermione and her sometimes bewildered looking parents and Luna and her father, who appeared to be in a different world. Few of the guests took notice of Sirius and those who did talked to him only briefly before returning to the living. When Sirius saw Harry disappearing around the corner of the house with Ginny, he decided to go back home.
It was late when Harry returned to Grimmauld Place. "I was wondering where you'd gone," Harry told Sirius and he tossed his cloak on the chair. "Hi, Kreacher! Thanks for taking care of this for me."
"Master is welcomed back to his home," Kreacher croaked. "Does Master wish anything special for breakfast?" He gave a malevolent look at Sirius. "Previous Master has no need of food."
"Yes, I noticed that Kreacher. Maybe eggs benedict tomorrow morning?"
"Of course, Master."
Sirius broke into the conversation. "The party was really for the living. I stayed for a bit and talked with a few people, but I knew we couldn't catch up there so came back home."
"Yeah," Harry laughed. "It was quite a scene. I'd love to chat, but can we do it tomorrow? I'm dead tired. Oops – I mean ..."
Sirius forced a laugh. "No problem, Prongslet. We'll have all the time in the world to catch up starting tomorrow."
Harry, who had started up the stairs, stopped and slowly turned around. "I guess I forgot to mention that Ron and I start Auror training in three weeks. We're going to spend that time traveling around the continent. You know, I've never been out of Britain. Hermione laid out a schedule for us." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment. "Hermione's going to Australia with her parents. They decided not to move back permanently to England, you know, but it's easy enough for Hermione to visit them."
Sirius was hurt that he hadn't been informed of events obviously important to Harry but shrugged it off. "A trip to the continent sounds great! I can show you some of my favorite beaches there. Hey – this time I won't have to worry about getting sunburned!"
Harry took several careful steps back down the stairs. "Actually, Sirius, we were kind of planning this as a get-away-from-the-parents get-away."
Sirius felt conflicted. On the one hand, he was being told he wasn't wanted, on the other he was being considered a parent. "Of course, I understand. I'll just hold down the fort here until you come back. When do you leave?"
Harry was relieved that Sirius understood. He glanced at the parchment in confirmation. "We catch a portkey to Brussels after dinner tomorrow. But I'll be here most of the day," he added swiftly when he saw Sirius' disappointed face.
Sirius forced himself to smile. "You'll have a great time."
The next day passed far too quickly for Sirius. Harry tried to make time for him but kept dashing off to check if had one more thing he suddenly remembered he might need. Too soon, Ron had apparated to the house ready to go.
The next three weeks passed slowly for Sirius. Even attempting to rile up Kreacher had lost its entertainment value. He found himself often thinking of the past.
With Harry's return, color returned to Grimmauld Place. Even though Harry was gone during the day, at night he and Sirius would compare their training. Unfortunately, it was difficult for Sirius to help Harry study his Auror training lessons since he could not hold Harry's books to go through and ask questions. After one too many times when he told Harry the wrong answer due to relying on his memories from the first war, he found himself politely shunted aside.
Ron frequently visited, saying it was easier to study at Grimmauld Place since it was quieter than the Burrow, Ginny came with him when her training with the Holyhead Harpies allowed, and Hermione stopped by as frequently as her law training allowed. Grimmauld Place was busy, but Sirius felt left out of the games and refreshments since he couldn't partake. He would retreat to his old bedroom and just listen to the laughter from below.
At the end of the three years of Auror training, Sirius was proud to attend Harry's pinning on ceremony. Now, he thought, when Harry was off duty his time would be free and they could once again spend time together.
That evening, Harry proposed to Ginny.
"I thought the bride did all the planning," grumbled Sirius as another evening he'd planned to regale Harry with stories of the past instead involved deciding whether the corsages should include pentas or salvias, with finding red and gold shades that didn't clash with Ginny's hair color difficult. "Can't you just charm your hair a different color for the day?"
Ginny slammed down the garden guide she was perusing, causing it to shriek a complaint about being poorly handled. "I'm getting married to Harry looking how I actually am, not as someone I'm not!"
Sirius backed away. "Whoa – I didn't mean it like that. Say, how about a nice red lily?"
"Good save," Harry muttered to him.
"Say, we haven't talked about my role. I can't change what I'm wearing, but transparent goes with everything, right? Did I tell you I was James' best man too?"
Harry suddenly looked uncomfortable. He looked at Ginny for support and then back to the ghost. "About that, Sirius. Naturally I want you there standing – er, floating – with me, but you can't hold the rings or the candles. Ron is going to be my best man – he's my best mate after all. Of course I want you in front with me!" he added hurriedly at Sirius' expression. "Umm, you can go down the aisle before me."
Sirius put a smile on his face. "Whatever you want, Prongslet!"
When Ginny moved into the house, Sirius discovered Harry had even less time to just sit around and shoot the breeze. However, when Ginny announced that she was pregnant, Sirius was overjoyed.
"I loved being the fun godfather! Did you know I got you your first broom?" the ghost announced cheerfully.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Even I've heard that story more than once. Anyway …"
Sirius looked at the two suspiciously. "Anyway?"
Harry took a deep breath. "It's like this, Sirius. A godfather has to be able to take care of a child should something happen to the parents."
The spirit recoiled as if caught in a sudden gust. "Look, I know I should have been the one raising you, but I hadn't planned on Wormtail framing me! It's not fair to punish me for that!"
"I know, Sirius, and I understand. I'm not upset about that, and certainly am not punishing you. It's just that practically if something happened to us how would you take care of the little one?"
Downcast, Sirius drifted to the floor. "Oh, I see what you mean."
"But you'll still be important in their lives!" Harry hurriedly added. "You just won't ever have diaper duty!"
"There is that," Sirius happily responded.
"Besides," Harry added after looking at Ginny and seeing her nod, "If it's a boy we're going to name him James Sirius."
The ghost was dumbfounded. "James … Sirius?"
"I think we broke him," Ginny said in a stage whisper.
Sirius shook himself. "I just don't know what to say."
The spirit was less happy two years later. "Albus Severus? Albus SEVERUS? How could you? You change your minds right now! How could you possibly consider …!"
"Stop it right not, Sirius. We've made up our minds," Harry scolded. "Without Severus Snape, we would have lost the war. I would have died in my first year at Hogwarts! You certainly weren't there to protect me."
"Through no fault of my own. It was Albus who could have demanded a trial for me, you know," he said bitterly. "I've had a long time to think about that."
Harry sighed. "I'm sorry – that was uncalled for. But just as you and Dad were important to me …"
"Were?"
"Are. Albus and Severus were important to me too."
"Fine. I know I can't change your mind. Just don't expect me to call the boy by his middle name."
"And if I ever catch you calling him Albus Snivellous," Ginny added in utter seriousness, "I will put up a ghost ward around this house so fast that you won't have time to say good-bye. Not even in a joking manner. I know how fast kids can pick up things and I will not have James learn that slur."
"Heh, I almost forgot that nickname. Come to think of it, I haven't thought about Snape in a long time."
Harry's eyes opened in surprise. "You haven't?"
"Not at all. I haven't forgiven him, mind you. His actions did lead to the death of my best friend as well as Lily. But I now understand that a person can take an action thinking it was right only to have it boomerang on you. I thought I was right to chase Wormtail, and ended up wrecking my own life. It sounds like Snape sentenced himself to a lifetime of self-punishment."
Harry looked at his hands. "I've thought a lot about it too. If Voldemort hadn't attacked me, and if Mum hadn't given her life to protect me, he might have won the first war. If I were ever able to go back in time to that night, I might just have to stand by and watch them get killed."
Ginny hugged him, and the three stood in silence, broken when James began to bang on a pot.
Sirius enjoyed floating around the babies' cribs and watching them follow him with their eyes. He quickly learned, though, that if got too near to them they would scream and cry from the sudden cold. He tried entertaining them by recounting the pranks he found so hilarious but that didn't keep their attention, and he wondered if maybe those pranks weren't so funny after all. He couldn't read to them because he couldn't turn the pages of their books. He listened to Harry and Lily telling the children stories out of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, stories his own parents had never read to him, and tried to repeat them, but found they wanted the stories repeated exactly and with the voices their parents used.
"They even prefer Kreacher to me!" he grumbled to Harry one evening. "Kreacher!"
"Kreacher can hold them. Babies like to be held," Ginny explained as she collapsed on the couch in exhaustion after a long day.
"Well, at least I can keep an eye on them and call Kreacher if they get into trouble," Sirius said philosophically.
The spirit was less philosophical and more panicky with the birth of Lily Luna. "A girl! What do I do with a girl?" he moaned.
"The same that you do with a boy," Ginny dryly replied.
"All you have to do is love her," Harry added.
Sirius decided his time to shine had come when James was old enough to get his first regular broom. James had just mounted the broom when Sirius shooed Harry and Ginny aside. "I've got this. Jimmy-boy, just listen to me and you'll be a champion Quidditch player before you know it! Let me show you how to grip the shaft."
James jumped off the broom when the cold, ghostly hands covered his. "That's OK, Uncle Sirius."
Harry found Sirius later hovering in the shed. "I'm useless," he moaned. "I can't even teach the kids how to fly. And I was great on a broom!"
Harry slumped down on the floor with his back against a sled. "You're not useless. The kids adore you, you know. It's just they need others in their lives as well. I'll tell you a secret. As the kids get older, sometimes I'm beginning to feel superfluous as well. At least Lily is still young enough to view us as the center of her world. James spends more and more time with his friends, and Albus just wants to tail his big brother. A day like today, when we can be the center of their attention again, is a treasure."
Sirius drifted downwards until he was just above the floor. "I guess we'll just have to spend more time together, just like the old days. Did I ever tell you about the time your father and I took my motorcycle into …"
"James Sirius Potter! You come here right now, young man!" Ginny's voice rang out over the yard.
Harry stood up. "I guess I'd better see what that's about. How much trouble could he have gotten into in just the few minutes I've been here?"
"Well, one time your father and I were able to damage a seventeenth century table in your grandparents' house by accident when…" Sirius started to say, but stopped when he saw Harry had already left. "Yeah, I guess I've told you that once or twice," he said to himself.
The years passed. James went off to Hogwarts, and the house got quieter, and after Albus and Lily left it got quieter still, but Harry had gotten promoted which resulted in even longer hours and Ginny worked all day as well, now a sportswriter for The Prophet. Sirius became used to being the cheerleader at events and then drifting randomly around the house with little to entertain himself with except his own thoughts.
Eventually the children got married, leading to a flurry of activity, and then it became quiet again until the grandchildren and even later great-grandchildren started to arrive. They waved cheerfully at their Uncle Sirius whenever they visited, but Sirius could tell they only talked with him because they were told to be polite and they took off as soon as they had an excuse.
Finally, the day came that Sirius was looking forward to. Harry retired. To Sirius' disappointment, though, Harry was still gone most of the time, doing consulting work or visiting friends. Then Ginny retired from her job as well. The two started traveling, and they made it known that they wanted private time on their journeys.
Yet more years passed until the day that Sirius noticed Harry breathing heavily as he collapsed into a chair clutching his chest. Harry realized he had left his wand on the nightstand. He started to shout for Ginny, but then remembered she was visiting Lily and her family for the day. He cleared his throat and with difficulty said, "I think my time here is coming to an end." He realized he felt oddly calm. "I don't have any regrets. I've had a full life."
Sirius tried not to panic. "I'll go get help!"
"I think it's too late for that Sirius." Harry gulped in some air. "Would you just keep me company?"
It hurt Sirius to see Harry in such a condition. He reached towards his godson but knew he couldn't offer physical comfort. Instead, he tried to put a good face on the inevitable situation. "Hey, Prongslet. Just think of how we can spend the years together! You can show me the places you've gone, and together we can explore new ones."
Startled, Harry tried to lift himself up but failed. "Become a ghost myself?" The exertion made him cough. "I can't. I'm sure Ginny won't when her time comes – she misses her parents and brothers too much –" He paused to gasp. "And I wouldn't want to be without her. And I really want to see Mum and Dad and all the others I've lost … I've been able to spend time with you, but I'm sure they're waiting for me." His face was rapidly losing its color.
"But …" Sirius drifted down to the floor and started over. "I thought I came back to be with you, but it seems I never accomplished anything except spend a century in utter boredom punctuated by only occasional moments of excitement."
Harry felt his heart fluttering. "I feel terrible you think that way." His breath became labored. "I've treasured my moments with you and the stories you could tell me of my parents ... I didn't realize you felt ignored."
Sirius shook his head. "It's not your fault, Prongslet. You've been busy with living." He looked around then back at Harry. "I now often think this was purgatory for me, forcing me to think about the past as a way of punishing me for my misdeeds before I move on." Transparent tears appeared in his eyes as he watched Harry. "I was able to do a lot of thinking about my own life. Every time I censored myself because I knew you'd give me that disappointed look it occurred to me that maybe what I did was … extreme."
"Extreme?" Harry coughed again.
"OK, wrong. If I could do things over, I'd be less of a bully, even for a good cause. I'd give people more chances. Mind you, I'd still fight injustice and would never just stand there when I was attacked, but remember when I told you that the world isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters? I really believe that now."
Harry tried to rally himself. "When I'm gone, will you finally be able to move on?" Pausing for moment to catch his breath again, he added, "I wouldn't want you to be trapped here in this plane." Continuing softly, he added, "Albus – Dumbledore, that is – once told me that death is the next great adventure." He was now trying desperately to keep his eyes open to see Sirius' response.
The ghostly tears rolled down Sirius' cheeks. "Yes, Harry, I'm ready to move on. I can feel a pull now. We can go together."
Harry's eyes closed. "I'd really like that, Sirius."
A tearful Ginny found Harry that evening.
Sirius' ghost was never seen again.
Did you catch the reference to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child? Even if you didn't, thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think. I hope to see you at LeakyCon!
