Sylvanni always liked the name 'the Herald's Rest.' More than the simple aesthetic of the name, she loved the way Skyhold's little tavern embodied its name. Despite her rank, Sylvanni never felt as though she were intruding or that her presence made the other patrons uncomfortable. She assumed that there were fewer behavioral problems while she was present, but there was never a sense of stiffness or awkward formality from the members of the Inquisition when she entered. There was an easy comfort about the Herald's Rest that seemed to make it clear that sometimes, even the Inquisitor was a person who wanted to relax and kick her heels up with a warm drink and good music.
After long weeks on the road, Sylvanni thought the welcoming atmosphere of the tavern would be a needed relief for her clanmates, a place to finally sit down and relax.
They talked together, and for a while it felt like there were too many things to tell, too many stories that needed to be shared. Sylvanni told them of Antoine, of the plot which had stolen their clan away, of her quest to capture him and the plans for his execution. They told her of the attacks in the weeks leading up to that final, fateful battle when all had been lost. Sylvanni spoke of the declaration that she was the Herald of Andraste, of becoming the Inquisitor, recruiting her allies, and the threat that Corypheus and the Breach posed. They shared stories of their weeks on their own, banding together just to try to survive, and the challenges they'd faced out in the wilds. There were tales of things that had happened in the clan after Sylvanni had left for the conclave, and she talked about the experiences she'd had out exploring Thedas for the Inquisition.
Around them in the tavern, Sylvanni could feel the curious eyes of onlookers, though the looks were never rude or invasive. News traveled fast through the keep and she was sure that within an hour of walking through the gates, most people had heard that members of the Inquisitor's lost clan had arrived. They were curious, interested in this new element, but ever polite. There was a bubble of space around the table of elves, as other tavern-goers looked on from a distance, but left room for the sake of respectful privacy.
Sylvanni noticed this only absently, as one notices the stars on a clear night because they are expected to be there. She knew the culture of the Inquisition and she could have guessed how they would react. Confirming her prediction was an unintentional act, and not one that she paid much thought. Her focus was on her companions, on the stories and catching up, on making up for all the things she had missed.
As they talked, the afternoon light slanted sideways before fading into the evening red and disappearing altogether. Candles and lanterns were lit, and the room took on a warm glow and the hearths were tended to, keeping the chill of the evening mountain air at bay. Drinks were ordered, passed around, sipped and savored. Sylvanni drank in moderation, as always. It wouldn't do for members of the Inquisition to see their leader lose her inhibitions. She'd only done that once, and it was only because Bull had seemed to need someone to drink with.
After a while, the group started to trail away. Mythri and Dyani headed out together, wanting to explore some of the rest of Skyhold. Mythri said she felt more comfortable with a good mental map of wherever they were staying. Dyani wanted to see if she could find any good hiding spots. A little while later Kepi excused herself as well, explaining that she thought it might be a good idea to try to meet people.
Sylvanni stayed behind with Mihsa and Rowan, though the latter had laid his head down atop crossed arms and seemed to be drifting off to sleep. Sylvanni didn't mind; he'd had a long journey. Besides, she and Mihsa had known each other well enough to be comfortable talking just the two of them. 'Friends' seemed too strong a word for their relationship before, but Sylvanni hadn't exactly been friends with anyone in her clan. Duties as the First had encouraged her to keep distant from just about everyone, and she hadn't minded solitude.
Time had passed since the last time she was with her clan, however, and things had changed. Things seemed more comfortable after hours of catching up and reminiscing.
"I still can't believe it," Mihsa said, shaking her head. "Scapegoats for a fake plague. That's the reason our clan's dead. I'm not sure whether I'm horrified by the monstrosity of it, or sickened by the meaninglessness."
Sylvanni gave a soft smile. "I understand the sentiment."
"I think I almost would have preferred that he were just another noble shem who hated elves, you know?" Mihsa said. "At least that would have been about us. It might have meant something that way. But this? He could have picked a merchant caravan to pin his outbreak on, or a strange looking foreigner. Or a patch of flowers outside of his terrible town. Clan Lavellan didn't even mean anything to him. We just happened to be the nearby thing he picked to blame. Just something to destroy in order to sell his story and hide his crimes."
"Not hidden well enough. He'll pay for it with his life," Sylvanni said, keeping her voice calm. There was still a part of her that said just his life wasn't payment enough, but it was getting quieter.
"I think I want to watch you do it," Mihsa said. "It will be you doing it, won't it be?"
Sylvanni nodded.
"Good," Mihsa said. "I never thought I'd want to see someone be killed, but I'm fairly certain I want to see this one. I thought about going down to see him locked away, like you were saying. I don't think I could face someone like that, though. Not after what he's done. I don't really have any desire to see a monster like that. I think that's where Kepi went, though. She talked about meeting people, but I think she meant him."
Sylvanni didn't have much of a response to that. She hadn't known Kepi well, and Mihsa would know her better after spending months traveling together in this small group. Sylvanni had told all of them that Antoine was locked in the dungeon cells currently, and that they were free to visit if they wished. Everyone mourned in their own way, she knew. If seeing the person responsible might help, she wanted to be sure they knew they were allowed to do so.
"Did you know she was a mage?" Mihsa asked. "Before you left for the Conclave?"
Sylvanni shook her head. "I had no idea, honestly. I didn't talk much with her, but she must have hid it exceptionally well. I did know you were a mage, Mihsa."
Mihsa gave a small laugh, hiding behind her cup as though embarrassed she'd been caught. "I think the Keeper knew about me too, though I tried very hard to be careful not to reveal myself. I'm fairly certain that it was out of kindness that she pretended she had no idea. Kepi surprised me though. Until the moment she picked up a staff on the night of the attack, I never would have guessed."
"Perhaps you could have been First, in my absence."
"I thought about revealing myself and asking for the role, you know. After we heard you were staying with the Inquisition, the Keeper was trying to decide whether or not we should appoint a new First. We never did, though."
Sylvanni felt pleased about that for some reason. Strange, how she could fear competition for a title that no longer existed. If one wished to say she was Keeper, she was a Keeper with no clan. It shouldn't matter whether or not Lavellan had had another First, but she liked hearing that they had not.
"So," Sylvanni said, deciding to change the subject, acting on an instinct she'd felt sparked when they'd first reunited today, then reaffirmed throughout the day's conversation. Her eyes slid sideways to the sleeping elven warrior, though she addressed Mihsa still. Rowan seemed to be snoring softly beside them, a small bit of drool pooling on the table. "You and Rowan?"
Misha blinked at the friendly accusation, a small blush rising to her cheeks. She was only off-put for a moment however, before raising an eyebrow and quickly shooting back: "So, you and that human commander?"
Sylvanni felt herself blushing in return, but she covered her surprise with a laugh. "How did you figure it out?"
"Oh, it wasn't anything you did, of course," Mihsa said. "But you didn't see the look on his face when he was running toward us, thinking you might be in danger."
Sylvanni gave a fond sigh. "He worries too much for me sometimes."
Mihsa shrugged. "I think it's sweet. I never would have guessed that our lofty First would be the one to fall for a shem, though."
The term was fond, teasing, and brought a smile to Sylvanni's face. Shemlen Cullen. Her own 'quick child.'
"I don't think I would have guessed it either," she said quietly, almost with a note of awe. "It was one of those things that just seemed to spring up from the circumstances. I think after everything that happened, even though there have been so many terrible things, I'm glad that somehow it led to this."
"I know what you mean," Mihsa said, leaning her head against the sleeping Rowan's shoulder. He stirred slightly, but did not wake. "I don't think I will ever be okay with the fact that the clan is gone, but I also wonder if I ever would have noticed Rowan if things had stayed the way they were. It was just like, something fell into place in the midst of everything else falling apart."
The two lapsed into a comfortable silence for a few moments, a silence of agreement. They both understood the experience, and therefore there was no reason to explain what they felt any further. In a simple span of quiet, they could find comfort in knowing that they understood and were understood in turn by the other.
Mihsa's phrasing gave Sylvanni an opening to ask a question she'd been turning over. "Now that the clan is gone, though," she asked slowly. "What do you think you'll do next? Try to find another Dalish clan to join up with? There are some who might look for a mage, if they need a First."
"It was something we talked about between ourselves for a while actually," Mihsa said. "I'm guessing if any of the others survived, that's what they did. But none of use five felt it would be right to just try to seek out another clan like that, so soon after what had happened. It never really did feel right. Maybe it was the five of us staying together on our own, but I think we still felt too much like we were Lavellans to become anything else.
"Someone mentioned that you were probably still with the Inquisition, and then we thought we should try to come tell you what had happened. It was more difficult than we would have thought. We didn't exactly know where the Inquisition was and none of us had contacts. Finally we found someone traveling in to meet you and decided to follow at a safe distance."
Mihsa sighed. "Not that you needed us to come and tell you, we come to find out. You and your spies already found out more about what really happened than we could have guessed."
Sylvanni smiled. "I appreciate the gesture nonetheless. It means a great deal to me."
"Well, we kind of made a decision on the road," Mihsa continued. "Considering everything that we find out has happened with you in the meantime, I think it makes even more sense now. I mean, the clan is gone, yes, but you were the First. When the Keeper died, you became our leader, right? Then we find out that you're already a leader, here. You're in charge of something as large and powerful as this Inquisition, so… well, it just makes sense doesn't it?"
Sylvanni wasn't quite following. "What makes sense, exactly?"
"We'd like to join the Inquisition," Mihsa said with a small shrug. "If you've room for us, of course. I can't speak for the others directly, but I know they were thinking the same thing. If you were the First, then you're the leader now. And if you're leading the Inquisition, then the Inquisition is what we'll follow. Besides, all this stuff about Corypheus and Venatori and red lyrium is something that needs to be dealt with. If red lyrium is the reason they killed our clan, then I want to be part of stopping the people behind it."
For some reason, at that moment Sylvanni found the mask of the Inquisitor difficult to conjure. She'd formally accepted agents of the Inquisition any number of times, but this felt different. Perhaps because she'd known them before all of this. She thought perhaps she might be grateful for the difficulty in assuming her role. It made her personally feel just that much more real.
Her eyes were misty, but she didn't try to hide the reaction this time. It didn't feel right to pretend this wasn't affecting her. "Thank you, Mihsa," she said softly. "It would be my honor to accept you and the others as official members of the Inquisition. I don't just mean that in the formal sense. Truly, I am honored."
Mihsa smiled, seeming to grasp the depth of meaning behind Sylvanni's words. "You're doing good things here, I think. The way all these people follow you, Sylv: you're a good leader. Keeper Deshanna would have been proud."
The mist coalesced, and Sylvanni felt the tears slip free as she blinked. Her voice, when she found it, was no more than a whisper behind a smile. "Thank you, Mihsa. Thank you."