A/N Read and review!
I wake up as my alarm clock goes off, and begin my morning routine - I brush my teeth, shower, get dressed, and enter my closet to stare at my collection of Helga's pictures.
"Yet another school day, and yet another day that I get to see you, my love," I say, stroking my favourite picture of her softly. It's taken from a distance, and in it, she's laughing at something off camera, just happy and cheerful like she always is. I give the picture a brief kiss before I leave. Yes, I know, it's weird, but it's the closest thing I can get to an actual kiss.
I make my way downstairs, rush through breakfast, and join Gerald outside on the pavement. We walk to school, complaining about homework and figuring out what to do after school. When we enter the classroom, I take my usual seat in the middle, doodling bows and scrawling Helga's name in my notebook.
A few minutes later, Helga and Phoebe sit down at their desks just in front of Gerald and I.
"Good morning, Arnold, Gerald," says Helga, smiling at us just as she does every morning.
Gerald says hello back before leaning over to talk to Phoebe, flirting with her as he always does. If only I was that confident when talking to Helga.
"Um, good evening, Helga. I mean good afternoon; no good morning, I mean good morning. So, um, good morning, Helga," I stutter out, my face heating up because of my stupid nerves.
"Are you okay, Arnold? You're looking a little red."
"I'm, I'm fine... just, just a little hot," I say.
"Well, it is nearly ninety degrees out, and you're wearing a sweater," she laughs.
"Yeah, um, probably, probably not my brightest idea," I say, rubbing the back of my neck nervously as I look away from her.
She's about to respond when Mr. Simmons arrives, beginning our geography lesson. The morning passes by slowly as I do my best to focus on the lesson, although it's extremely difficult with my love sitting right in front of me. Unfortunately, my grades have been slipping because I'm always distracted in class because I'm always staring at Helga. So really, my bad grades are her fault; if she wasn't so beautiful and amazing and kind, then maybe I'd actually be able to get some work done for once.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not be in love, and to just be a normal, average kid. A kid who isn't constantly fixated on one particular girl; a kid who doesn't have dozens of pictures of said girl in his closet; a kid who can actually say more than five words to the girl without stuttering.
When the school day is finally over, Mr. Simmons calls me over just as I'm about to leave. "Arnold, may I speak with you please?"
"Is something wrong, Mr. Simmons?" I ask.
"No, nothing's wrong, Arnold. I just wanted to talk to you about your schoolwork," he says, pulling out my most recent math test, the one I got a C-minus on. "Your grades have been dropping recently, and I've noticed that you've been very distracted in class lately. Is everything okay?"
Great - even Mr. Simmons has noticed that I'm always distracted. I just hope he hasn't figured out the reason. "Of course, Mr. Simmons. Everything's fine."
He looks a little skeptical as I say it, as if he doesn't entirely believe me. "Well, if you say so, but just know that you can always talk to me if you need to."
"May I go now, Mr. Simmons?" I ask, not wanting this conversation to continue any further. The last thing I need is for my teacher, of all people, to know about my secret.
"Yes, Arnold. I'll see you tomorrow," he says, finally allowing me to leave.
I exit the school to see Gerald and Phoebe beginning to walk home together, so I decide to roam around the city for a while on my own. I see Helga's face and pink bow everywhere - on billboards, in the river, up in the clouds.
Why do I have to be so obsessed with her? Surely it's not healthy to spend every moment of every day thinking about her, wishing that she was mine. I wish that just seeing her didn't turn my knees into jelly. I wish that I could actually speak to her without falling over my words like an idiot.
Sometimes I wish that I wasn't in love with her full stop. My life would be so much easier, and so much less complicated.
When I finally look up from the pavement, I find myself outside a peculiar-looking store that seems to be selling potions and elixirs - Madame Blanche's Love Potions. There are adverts for all types of concoctions in the window including healing remedies, good-luck charms, and, of course, love potions.
If this Madame Blanche sells love potions, then maybe she sells out of love potions too, which is exactly what I need right now.
I enter the store, glancing at the shelves stocked to the brim with jars and jars of ingredients. From the back, a woman who must be Madame Blanche emerges, greeting me with a warm smile. "Hello, young man. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I have a problem," I say, sitting at the small table in the middle of the store. "You see, there's this girl who I just can't stop thinking about. I'm completely obsessed with her, and madly in love with her, and no matter what I do, I just can't get her off my mind."
"And you would like a love potion for her so that she loves you too?" says Madame Blanche. I guess love potions must be a pretty common request.
"No, of course not. I don't want to force her to love me. In fact, I want the complete opposite. I want to be out of love with her," I say, keeping my eyes on the floor since I know how crazy I must sound right now. "Is that possible?"
"Of course, my child. Anything is possible," she answers, beginning to collect various ingredients from the shelves. "Now, tell me about this girl. What is she like?"
Where do I begin? I could spend days describing every little thing that I love about Helga, but I doubt Madame Blanche has time to listen to all of my ramblings.
"Well, she's pretty much the sweetest person I've ever met. She's so kind to everybody; she literally has a heart of gold," I say, smiling happily just because I'm thinking about my love.
"I see. Keep going, my child," says Madame Blanche, continuing to gather yet more ingredients from around the store.
"Plus, she has the most beautiful blonde hair in the world, and this adorable pink bow that she never takes off. Oh, and her eyes; her eyes are the most vibrant blue I've ever seen." I let out a lovesick sigh, happy that I can talk about my crazy, mixed-up feelings to an actual person rather than just my journal. "She's pretty much perfect."
Madame Blanche places a small glass vial filled with an odd-looking pink liquid on the table in front of me. "And voila! If you truly wish to be out of love, here is the solution."
"What do I have to do?" I ask.
"Simply drink the potion and say the name of your beloved three times before you go to sleep tonight. When you awaken in the morning, your feelings shall be no more," explains Madame Blanche, throwing her hands up with a dramatic flair. "Oh, and pay me ten dollars."
"Great!" I say, placing the ten dollars on the table. "Thank you so much, Madame Blanche!"
Later that night, safe and alone in my room, I begin to follow Madame Blanche's instructions from earlier today.
I throw out anything and everything that could possibly remind me of Helga - my collection of pictures, my journal filled with romantic fantasies, and the jacket that I've never washed because she touched it whilst I was wearing it once.
"Helga... Helga... Helga," I say, holding the glass vial in my hands, studying the potion that will hopefully erase all of my feelings for my beloved.
I down the potion in one gulp and get into bed, falling easily into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
I sure hope this works.
I wake up the next morning feeling like I've been hit by a truck. For a brief moment I wonder if I really was hit by a truck last night, but then I remember the potion. I have to give myself a test to make sure that it worked.
I grab my favourite picture of Helga out of my trash bin, and stare at it for a few seconds. Why do I have a picture of one my classmates in my room?
I decide to test myself again, so I take my journal from the trash bin, too, flipping to a random page; Helga, my love, you looked even more beautiful today than you did yesterday. Oh, how I wish I could hold you tight in my arms, and kiss you until the end of time.
Why, in the name of all things good and right in the world, would I be writing about Helga like this? Surely I can't be in love with her...
It worked - the potion worked. "I don't love Helga!"
Happy that my jumbled up feelings are now gone, I get ready for school, looking forward to not being a stuttering mess for once.
When Helga greets me in class this morning like she always does, I'm actually able to respond like a normal person. "Good morning, Helga. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Arnold," says Helga, looking at me with a confused yet happy smile, as if she knows something's different about me.
Mr. Simmons enters the classroom before Helga can say anything else. I find it much easier to focus on my schoolwork now that I'm no longer distracted by Helga, and the morning passes by smoothly.
Helga approaches me in the lunchroom as I'm waiting for Gerald. "Hi, Arnold."
"Oh, hi, Helga. Did you need something?"
"No, I just wanted to ask you something," says Helga, taking a seat next to me. "This probably sounds a little weird, but I noticed that you're no longer stuttering around me, which is great and all, don't get me wrong, but I just wanted to know why. Is everything okay? You didn't get hit in the head or something, did you?"
"No, everything's fine, Helga. Thanks for asking, though."
"Oh, well that's good to hear," she says, standing up from her chair. "See you in class."
She waves goodbye to me as she walks away, and I wave back slightly, no enthusiasm or giddiness in it as there used to be. Helga - so normal, so average, and yet, just a regular girl.
In class that afternoon, Mr. Simmons returns our math tests from this morning, and I notice that my grades are back up. I know I should feel happy, or at the very least relieved, but instead I feel nothing.
When the end of the day finally comes around, Gerald is once again walking Phoebe home, so I decide to take another walk around the city. Unlike yesterday, I don't see anything that reminds me of Helga at all. The clouds are shaped like normal clouds instead of bows. The ripples in the river are just ripples instead of Helga's face. It's relieving to be rid of my obsession, but also dull and boring in a strange way.
I no longer feel anything - not passion, not longing, not love. I'm devoid of all emotion, which saddens me for some reason. Without emotions, life is just boring.
Maybe I need my feelings for Helga back. Maybe I need to be madly in love with her. Maybe I need to get tongue-tied and stumble over my words when I'm talking to her, if for no other reason than just to feel something, anything at all.
I have to get back to Madame Blanche; hopefully she has some kind of antidote for that stupid potion.
"Madame Blanche!" I call, bursting through the door of the shop. "I need to be back in love!"
"Huh?" says Madame Blanche in a confused voice.
"Please, please - take this spell off me," I say, practically begging at this point. "I have no feelings whatsoever. My life is empty without my love."
Madame Blanche stands up from her seat at the table, walking over to place a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Relax, my child. That potion was just a homemade concoction."
"What?"
"It wasn't magical. It was just apple juice, peppermint, and a bit of ginger for flavor."
As the realization that I just got scammed sinks in, I become slightly annoyed. "Wait, so you're telling me that I gave you ten dollars for apple juice?"
"And a bit of ginger, yeah."
"So, there's nothing stopping me from being in love?" I ask, starting to feel a bit better, even though I did get scammed out of ten dollars.
"Of course not, my child," she says. "You can be in love with whomever you want."
"Oh, thank you, thank you, Madame Blanche!" I wrap my arms around her waist in a tight hug, before hurrying out of the store and onto the sidewalk.
I run down the street, noticing Helga's face and adorable pink bow reappear in the clouds and in the ripples of the water. I sigh happily, for although my feelings make me a complete and utter lovesick mess, it's good to have them back.