It turns out that the flow of time as a manga shows it is total bullshit. We were two days into our journey towards Wave and there still hadn't been an inexplicable puddle at the side of the road yet. It was really beginning to grate on my nerves. The anticipation kept my energy up at a constant level.

Luckily, I'd found an outlet for my increased energy.

"…But I would walk five hundred miles!

And I would walk five hundred q!

Just to be the man who walked a thousand

Miles to fall down at your door!" I sang to the open air as we walked down the long dirt road.

"Da-da da da!" Naruto called, having long since become part of the song.

"Da-da da da!" Sasuke responded, much less exuberantly after having finally caved to my and Naruto's jeering to sing along.

"Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da!" We all sang together.

"Shut up you brats!" Tazuna, the bridge builder, shouted in irritation.

It utterly ruins the moment. "Jeez gramps, no respect for the classics." I say with a solem shake of my head. "Guess they don't have good music in whatever bog you crawled you wrinkly ass out of, huh?"

The bridge builder bristled at the comment, turning towards Kakashi with an incredulous look. "Are you gonna let her speak to me like that?" He whined.

"Meh." Kakashi drawled, turning the page of his book before glancing at Tazuna. "It's just easier to accept it. Sakura will make your life a living hell if you decide to test her."

"Isōrō's a master of being a pain in the ass." Sasuke informed the old man before smirking. "But by all means, try and impose rules on her. See how your sanity lasts."

"Sakura's stubborn." Naruto said with a shrug. "Maddeningly so."

"Aren't you supposed to protect me!?" Tazuna turned to Kakashi again.

"Contract says to protect you from physical harm." The cyclops corrected absently. "Psychological protection…"

He closed the book, giving the old man his patented eye smile. "...Costs extra."

"Sakura? What's that?" Naruto asks me from the side as I look at the segmented paper in my hand.

"Well, Anko-sama's been teaching me some really interesting things about chemical warfare." I begin, making sure to give our client a grin with too many teeth before turning back to the blond. The slight grunt of fear from the old man was like music to my ears. "And she said that the best way to know about the effects of what you're using is to sample it."

"So it's… poison?" Naruto asked as Sasuke also seemed to perk up at the conversation.

"They let you have poison?" My dark haired teammate drawled, like the prick he was.

"Firstly, fuck you." I began, glaring when he had the audacity to grin back. "Secondly, anything can be poisonous in the right dose. Salt poisoning. Alcohol poisoning. Water poisoning."

"Water poisoning?" Naruto asked, confusion written on his face.

"Otherwise known as drowning." I reply with a grin, gaining a snort from Sasuke and Kakashi, who had apparently been listening in. Naruto on the other hand took a second to process before letting out a laugh of his own.

"No chance of that, it's been bone dry for days." Tazuna decided to comment to which I ignored him.

"Anyway, Anko-sama said that this particular poison is designed to induce… pleasant sensations in the target." I explain, holding up the paper to the sun. "She said to save it for a long walk, it'll make time go like that." I clicked my fingers for emphasis.

Apparently, Naruto decided at that moment to be a complete buzz kill and decided to try and save me from the evils of drugs. He did this by trying to yoink the paper out of my hands. It wasn't long before we were essentially playing tug of war with the surprisingly resilient chemical paper.

"Sakura don't! Didn't you hear Iruka-sensei back in the Academy? Say no to drugs!" Naruto cried.

"Don't you pull that shit on me, I know what Iruka grows in his backyard!" I counter. Where did they think I'd nabbed my own personal supply of devil's lettuce from? There was no way I was going to live in this world without the option of getting baked.

"Will you too grow up already!" Sasuke shouted, trying to get in the middle of our scuffle, sending the paper out of our hands and into the air. The breeze caught the paper, carrying it a short distance before landing in a puddle on the side of the road.

"No! All my plans! Laid to waste by those I trusted!" I howled, falling to my knees in despair. I glared hatefully back at the bridge builder. "Bone dry huh? Then what do you call that puddle…" My mouth went dry as I slowly looked over at the puddle.

Shit!

The Ambush!

There was a soft pop in the air as the area was suddenly filled with a very moist fog. Myself and my teammates acted quickly, forming a triangle formation around Tazuna as we prepared for combat. I couldn't see Kakashi through the fog. He was probably doing his whole "dead sensei" routine.

"Any sign?" I call out to my teammates.

"Nothing."

"Nope."

Dammit, what was taking so long? The fog was already beginning to clear.

"Duuuude! Look at the sky Bro!" The voice cuts through the remaining fog as we are greeted to the sight of the Demon Brothers both laying on the floor.

"Nawww Bro! You gotta check out this grass man! It's like wibbly and shit!" The other brother responded, running his hand over the tips of a small patch of grass next to him.

"Well that was…" I began.

"Weird?" Naruto suggested.

"Idiotic?" Sasuke grunted.

"Anticlimactic. Well, it could be worse. Maybe they've got bounties to collect?" I suggested to my teammates before turning towards our client. It seemed the old man had pissed his pants during the whole ordeal. "Clients soiled themselves from fear."

I blinked. "Or that might just be something he does, with his age and all."

"Oi brat I'm not that old!" Tazuna decried, having regained his senses finally.

"Heeeey! Hey Gōzu? Isn't that the really old guy we got sent to kill?" One of the brothers asked from their shared spot on the ground as he looked up at the bridge builder.

"Naw! It can't be! He's much too old for that Meizu!" Gōzu responded. "Gato would be pissed if we got the contract wrong! Oh hey! A butterfly!"

As the two brother's descended into another round of drug fueled mist, we all turned to look at the client once again. To say the man looked even more scared now was an understatement. He nearly fainted when Kakashi appeared behind him, radiating angry chakra.

"We need to talk, Tazuna-san." He said sternly.

"Aaaaagh! No! It's not pretty! It's evil, look at its soulless eyes." Meizu cried, scrambling away from the butterfly he'd been enamored with just moments before.

Maybe it was for the best that I hadn't sampled it after all.

"I can see the future! Gaara becomes Kazekage! Asuma and Kurenai have a kid! Danzo becomes Hokage but it doesn't count! Choji turns out to have the most game!"

Definitely.

You know how the song and dance goes, Tazuna tells us about the plight his settlement is under, it pulls at Naruto's heartstrings. Kakashi leaves the decision up to us and soon enough we're back to traveling to Wave. But not before getting the old geezer to agree to a very sizable tip once his project was over and done with. Along with a flash of kunai steel to show him what was coming if he tried to opt out of that contract.

We'd also nabbed two missing nin with decent sized bounties that we could cash, safely tucked inside a sealing scroll to keep their bodies fresh. Apparently having the entire batch of hallucinogenic paper had been just enough for them to overdose. They'd died screaming some oddly specific predictions about the events that were to come in this world. Or at least the canon version anyway.

I am also now fairly convinced that I must be a fictional character in some idiots fanfiction. How else could you explain the blatant theft of a Team Four Star joke. The writer must be some sort of hack. I bet he's even putting these thoughts in my head as a sort of deprecating humor. Meta prick. Readers, you're still lovely.

"There it is. The bridge that will save my island." Tazuna said as we took a boat towards Wave through the fog, the imposing structure silhouetted in the haze.

"So you said Gato has your country under his complete control, right?" I ask as I look out over the still under construction bridge. It honestly looked to be a good amount of the way to being done, most of the supports already put in place.

"That's right." Tazuna grumbled at being reminded of the state of his country.

"So why has he allowed you to get this far?" I ask as I swivel around to look at the bridge builder. "I mean fuck, why not just bomb the thing when the supports were put in? Or hell, just take it off you, finish it and put a toll on the freaking thing."

"The people of Wave would never allow that!" Tazuna cried, in complete disbelief of my assessment before turning to Kakashi. "Why won't you say anything to her!?"

"For one, I agree with Sakura. The bridge could be a huge boon to Gato's businesses. Second, I don't like you." He made sure to send the old drunk a rather nasty look. Seems Kakashi didn't like that he put his pups in danger. Good, prick put my team in danger knowingly.

"Hey Teme?" I heard Naruto say from my side.

"Yeah Dobe?"

"Are we the normal ones on the team?"

"We?" Sasuke seemed offended to be lumped in the same group as Naruto. "I'm the sane one in the team!"

"Hate boner for your brother." I comment with a grin.

"Shut it Isōrō!"

"It's just a rabbit?" Naruto asked as he looked at the petrified snow white rabbit he'd just very nearly killed. "Oh no! I'm so sorry Mr.Snowy!" He cried, taking the rabbit in his arms and rocking it from side to side.

"Nice colour for a rabbit living in this swampy dump." I observe, smirking at Tazuna's squawk at the insult to his homeland.

Sasuke turned towards me with a surprised look. "I think you have a poi-"

"GET DOWN!" Kakashi shouted as he tackled the bridge builder. We followed suit, only just dodging the knock off buster sword that would have cut us in half.

"What was with the surprise there Uchiha, huh!?" I cry with a glare.

"Just take the win when it comes, Isōrō!" Sasuke barked back before raising his head. It seemed he'd noticed our foe's weapon, if the slack jawed expression that formed on his face was any indication. Though, to be fair my face matched his when I was finally granted the privilege of seeing the vaunted Demon of the Hidden Mist Zabuza Momochi for myself.

And what an absolute man he was!

Oh god! Am I blushing?

Not that anyone could blame me, considering the gun show the rogue ninja was currently displaying. Images of him holding me in his strong arms came to mind and I couldn't help the little giggle that escaped my lips.

"Sakura?" Naruto asked wearily.

"Yeah Naruto?"

"Your nose is bleeding." He stated, making me bring my hand up to my face. Just as Naruto had said, there was a small trickle of red liquid flowing out of my nose. "Oh, and Kakashi-sensei has been captured."

"He's been what now?" I asked, suddenly pulled out of my slightly perverted thoughts to see that indeed, Kakashi was now trapped in Zabuza's water prison jutsu. Once again I was reminded to tell Kakashi to get off his fat arse and train more. He should have wiped the floor with Zabuza, only his slacking that had led to them being on equal footing.

"Wait!" I suddenly shouted at the enemy ninja. "Before we do this I have just one question!"

Zabuza raised his eyebrows before letting out a snort. "Sure kid, I'll sate your curiosity."

'He could satisfy more than just my curiosity.' Was the thought that came to mind.

"Oh god, not a fangirl." Zabuza said with a bit of horror in his voice as apparently I'd said that out loud. "What kind of shit are you pulling Hatake?" He asked, rounding on his prisoner with a growl.

"I take no responsibility for Sakura's damage. They came to me like that." Kakashi responded, having pulled out his usual orange book. Considering he was encased in water it was a brave thing for him to do. Or just stupid. I wasn't really sure which.

While our sensei and the Mist ninja began to argue about the responsibility of teachers, I turned to Naruto before a grin spread across my face. "Hey guys, I've got an idea."

I tried not to be offended by the unsure looks my teammates gave each other.

Tried.

Too engrossed in their argument, Zabuza was surprised when a trio of Naruto's suddenly swiped at him. They didn't do much, being turned into smoke with a quick slash of a kunai but it did also enshroud him with smoke. From outside I could hear the noises of my teammates trying to injure the jonin or at the very least release his hold of our sensei.

It wasn't long before both Naruto and Sasuke came flying out of the smoke, landing with a not too soft thud near myself and the bridge builder. "Doing great guys." I said with a thumbs up.

"Why aren't you helping Isōrō?" Sasuke asked with a growl.

"Someone's gotta watch after the client. His safety is my number one priority." I replied innocently.

"Bullshit." Naruto, Sasuke and Tazuna replied in unison.

"Well fuck you too! Not appreciating my efforts. I am offended."

"If you're quite done with this little show." The voice of Zabuza growled from just in front of us. It was a clone, considering the real Zabuza was still holding Kakashi. "I'd like to end this."

"Oh? Are you going to run us through with your big sword, Zabuza-sama?" I reply with a sing-song voice.

"When will this day just end?" The clone sighed before pulling out his sword. I took a stance, ready to pull my teammates out of the way of the swipe if their plan didn't work. Tazuna could look after himself.

"Oh Zabuza-sama!~" A voice called from beyond the treeline, the faint sound of scrambling footsteps growing in intensity. Both Zabuza the original and clone turned paler somehow.

"Fuck this." The clone choked, dispersing into water instantly.

"Oh? Fans of yours Zabuza?" Kakashi asked idly as the noises grew closer.

"No, it can't be. I covered my tracks perfectly." Zabuza said in abject horror.

"Please let me have your babies Zabuza-sama!~!" Another voice yelled, definitely closer this time.

"Seems they found you." Kakashi commented smugly.

"I can see that Kakashi!" It was clear the Mist ninja was panicking now. Then he saw them, several women in various states of dress pouring through the forest towards them.

"Oh wow, that is a lot of them, isnt it?" Kakashi observed only to gain a glare from his captor. "Quite popular back home, weren't you Momochi?" It was clear at this point that Zabuza was considering abandoning his mission right then and there. Then Kakashi hit him with the final punch.

"Oh my, is that a strap-on?"

Zabuza let out an uncharacteristically high pitched scream as he decided to cut his losses. He was running away before his jutsu even collapsed, scrambling away from the army of fangirls at his back.

A new individual jumped in front of the fleeing ninja, his face obscured by a mist assassin mask."Zabuza-sama! They're not-" They began only to be scooped up by the muscly ninja and slung over his shoulder.

"No time for that Haku! We need to make space between them and us!" Zabuza babbled as he ran, soon disappearing from sight as the obsessed women followed behind him.

"Hey, it worked." I finally say after a long beat of silence.

"That was an ass pull at best, Isōrō. Not something to be proud of." Sasuke snarked.

"Bite me." I responded before turning to our blonde teammate. "Good job with the fangirls Naruto."

Naruto gave a grin even as he blushed slightly at the praise. "It was nothing." He responded bashfully, making me reach my hand out to ruffle his hair.

"Gotta say team, that was outside the box thinking. Good job." Kakashi praised as he appeared next to us. He was now bone dry, as though he'd never been trapped in a water prison. "Though we are going to have a talk about flirting with the enemy Sakura."

"You're just jealous that he's hotter than you." I counter with a glare.

"And that's some extra personal, one on one training for you Sakura."

That gets my attention. Glancing at my two teammates I was greeted with them looking at anything but me. Cowards.

"Well… Shit."

A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. No matter how I tried couldn't get that last scene right until now. Hopefully the next chapter won't be trapped in limbo. Onto the next part of the Wave Arc!