Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.

Minutes After The Mercs and the Red Team Got Acquainted

"Remind me… why did we get roped into this?" Tucker asked.

"If I had to guess, Sarge is probably doing something stupid again." Epsilon said.

"So why'd he drag us here too?" Washington wondered.

"This better be good." Carolina said while Tex said nothing and leaned against the wall.

"Ladies and Dirty Blues! May I give you a warm introduction to our newest additions to the red team!" Sarge exclaimed, shining spotlights on the Badland Mercenaries.

"...Oh boy, this ought to be good." Washington said.

"Introduce yourselves!" Sarge said.

"Oho, gladly!" Scout walked up to them and chuckled. "Heheh, alright so… I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talking to? Basically, kind of a big deal!"

"Yeah yeah, you're a big deal. Just give us your pitch already." Tex said.

Scout smirked. "Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother… I hurt people! I'm a force of nature! If you were from, where I was from, you'd be fuckin' dead! WOO!"

"That's literally all of us. Nice try." Tex said.

"Oh yeah? Check out these muscles!" Scout flexed. "Look at 'em!"

"Oh no, i'm scared by matchsticks. I think my childhood toys just ran away and started laughing in embarrassment." Tex scoffed.

"Alright, next!" Sarge said as Soldier walked up next… before putting the blues in a single file line.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?" Epsilon wondered as Sarge started to walk parallel to them.

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" He turned around to the blue team. "Sun Tzu said that! And I'd say he knows a little more about fighting about you do pal, because he INVENTED IT. And then he perfected it so that no man could best him in the ring of honor!"

"...Oh no…" Epsilon and Washington grimaced.

"Yeeeeeup…" Grif nodded.

Soldier pulled the grenades off of his belt. "And then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth! And then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one!" He said, smacking the grenades together that made everyone but Sarge flinch.

"That's my guy! Bring it home!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Dear god, there's two of them…" Tex said in horror.

"Heheheheh! And from that day forward every time there's a bunch of animals together in one place, it's called a ZOO!"

"...That doesn't even make sens-" Soldier smacked Epsilon down with a Market Gardener. "OOOOF!" He grunted.

"Unless it's a farm!"

"Beautiful! Like a true American!" Sarge exclaimed.

Tex groaned in disgust. "Great. Sarge is multiplying."

"Next!" Sarge said as Pyro walked up.

"Mmph mmph mmmph mmmph-"

"We can't understand you." Carolina said.

"I can~!" Caboose said. "He's saying that she likes to blow bubbles and give candy out to everyone."

"Blow bubbles? That doesn't sound threatening at all!" Epsilon said.

Pyro chuckled as he pointed the flamethrower at them and let 'er rip. "AAAAH! THOSE AREN'T BUBBLES!" Tucker yelled.

"I like him… or her…? What's the gender on this guy?" Tex asked.

"Yes." Caboose responded, causing Tex to facepalm.

"Never mind."

Demoman walked up next. "What makes me a good Demoman? IF I WERE A BAD DEMOMAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE DISCUSSIN' IT WITH YE NOW, WOULD I?"

"Oh no, he's Scottish…" Tucker groaned.

"Gloria, Conductor and now this guy? Ohohoho, maaaan! I love this!" Donut said.

"One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch… AND KABLOOIE!"

"...Soooo, is he more wild than Gloria or…?" Washington asked.

"Considering he's a demolition's expert, I'd say he's… more explosive than her." Carolina said.

"Aye! The lass gets it!" Demoman grinned. "...Oh, I need a drink!" He said, pulling out a bottle of scrumpy and started downing it.

"...Aaaand he drinks." Carolina sweatdropped. "Yup, he's wilder than Gloria. Didn't think that was possible."

"Oh yeah, and he's always drunk." Engi spoke up. "Apparently, his family has a thing where his ancestors were brewing beer one day and it got to the point where his family will die if they actually drink water. His liver actually produces alcohol in his bloodstream."

"...What the fuck?" Washington said in disbelief. "That… that's not even physically possible!"

"I beat a man to death with his own skull. Anything can be possible with the right attitude." Tex pointed out.

"...She's not wrong." Carolina said, causing Washington to groan.

Demoman finished drinking. "SO! T'all ye fine dandies so proud, so cocksure… prancin' about with yer heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me, I say! I'll be waitin' on ya with the whiff of the ol' brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable… with an unhappy bloody end!" He let out a laugh. "They'll glue yer remains back together… IN HELL!"

"Sarge. Where did you find these people?" Washington asked.

"On the street."

"...That explains it."

Heavy walked up next, putting Sasha down. "I am Heavy Weapons Guy. And this… is my weapon. She weighs one hundred and fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon… for twelve seconds."

"Money well spent, big guy." Tex sarcastically said.

"Dah! Sasha is big investment!" Heavy agreed.

"I was being sarcastic!"

"Oh, I know. I just wanted to agree with you." He said, causing Tex to sigh. He let out a chuckle. "Some people think they can outsmart me… maybe." He sniffed a little. "Maybe… I've yet to meet one who can outsmart bullet."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that thing is real heavy." Epsilon said as he tried to pick it up. "Hnnngh! Rrrrgh! Hrrrraaaah! …This thing is a bear! A very iron-like bear! Aaaagh!" Epsilon put it down.

Heavy laughed. "It's heavy, but it can be done!"

"Oh, like Mjolnir!" Caboose said, casually picking it up like it was nothing.

"What?!" Heavy said in surprise.

"Show off…" Grif mumbled.

Heavy laughed, patting Caboose on the back. "Very good! Very very good!" He said.

"Aw, thanks big guy!" Caboose said, putting it down.

BGM: More Gun (Team Fortress 2)

Everyone turned to see Engi sitting down on a chair, playing his guitar. "Hey look buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems… not problems like what is beauty, because that would fall into the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems!" He said, pulling out a tool box. "For instance. How am I gonna stop some big mean hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer…"

He tossed his tool box down as a level one sentry came out of it. "Use a gun! And if that don't work-" He used his wrench to immediately upgrade it to level two. "Use more gun! Like this heavy caliber, tripod mounted, little 'ol number designed by me."

He upgraded it to level three. "Built by me! And you'd best hope… not pointed at you. Oh! I almost forgot." He pulled out a smaller toolbox and tossed it to the ground where a mini sentry popped out.

"Aw, they're cute!" Caboose said as he walked over and patted them both on the head.

"Yeah, they're really… something alright." Tucker said. "They don't look like much, they're probably useless!"

Immediately, the Sentries beeped and started shooting at Tucker while the main sentry fired rockets, which pinned him to a wall.

"Tucker! You okay?!" Epsilon exclaimed.

"I'm okaaaaaay… ooooow…"

Epsilon turned to the Sentries nervously and slowly backed up. "Keep those things away from me!"

"Nice dogs!" Caboose said as the Sentries proceeded to not give him the time of day.

"What? They should be firing at all blues!" Soldier said. "They're malfunctioning!"

"They're workin' pretty fine if ya ask me." Engi said with a shrug.

"One thing. I'm noticing you're only wearing one glove. Any reason for that?" Carolina asked.

"Heh…" Engi took his glove off to reveal the Gunslinger. "Lost my hand during a Sentry test."

"That'll do it." Carolina nodded as Engi put his glove back on.

End BGM

Medic walked up next. "Ahahaha, let's see, I suppose I'm next! So, I'm zhis team's medic. I keep zhem alive and even if zhey were to die, I bring zhem back to life. Yes! I actually figured out a mechanism that can revive zhem should something happen to zhem! Worked very well when we were fighting robots!"

"...Robots?" Washington wondered.

"At this point. I've learned just to stop questioning these guys." Carolina said.

"And heck, even if I prematurely die, someone can use my medigun to revive me!" Medic let out a chuckle.

"So a doctor that can bring people back from the dead. I can already hear funeral homes crying." Tex said.

"Of course, I lost my medical license when I removed a patient's entire skeleton. Hohoho, you should've seen the look on his face when he woke up! It was priceless."

"Excuse me, WHAT." Washington said.

"Again. Killed a man with his own skull. How hard is that to grasp?" Tex asked.

"I even ubercharge my team to make zhem invincible for a short time. If you want, I could perform surgery on you. Of course, you vill need a new heart since most hearts can't withstand zhe voltage during ubercharge."

"WHAT?! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! I LIKE MY HEART!" Washington yelled.

"A very valid response." Medic nodded nonchalantly. "Oh! And I also replaced Ruby Rose's hips with elephant hips. Had to shorten zhem since her hips were as wide as a house. Of course, now she's scared of chainsaws… but what can you do."

"...You replaced… Ruby's hips. With elephant hips. Even though only one of her hips was busted."

"Yes! Her other hip seemed lonely so I decided to do zhe same to zhat."

Washington's eye twitched behind his mask. "HOW."

"Killed a man. Own skull. Seriously, is it one ear and out the other with you?" Tex asked.

"Ugh… I'd rather see Mikan…" Washington grumbled.

"I guess I'm up next." Sniper said as he walked up. "Snipin's a good job, mate-"

"Oh, I like him already. Preach it!" Epsilon said.

"It's challenging work, out of doors, I guarantee you won't go hungry, because at the end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead!"

"Preach it my good man! Someone finally gets it!"

"I'd get it if I ever had a chance with the sniper rifle! I had one, but Chiaki set me up!" Tucker said.

"You were too eager." Epsilon said.

"She didn't even mention it!"

"Probably because we were fighting a Grimm and it just slipped her mind because that Grimm was terrorizing everyone!"

"Hmph! Excuses…" Tucker mumbled.

Sniper chuckled. "Sniping also comes with profession, and professionals have standards."

"Mhm!" Epsilon nodded.

"Be polite-"

"...Huh?"

"Be efficient!"

"Can we rewind that?"

"Have a plan to kill everyone you meet!" Sniper said proudly. "Unfortunately, my parents do not care for it because they think assassins are crazed gunmen… wankers." He grumbled. "But seriously though, sniping is a really good profession."

"No, seriously, can we rewind that? Be polite? I don't think that's possible when you're on a killing spree." Epsilon pointed out.

"What killing spree? You can only manage to snipe one head!" Tucker pointed out.

"I'm getting better." Epsilon chuckled.

"I suppose I'm the last one to go." Spy said. "Ahem, I am a Spy. I blend in with my surroundings and-"

"Boring." Tex mumbled.

Spy chuckled. "I can assure you…" He activated his invisiwatch and cloaked. "It's not that boring."

"What the… where did he go?!" Epsilon asked.

"I could be anywhere. I could be next to you. In front of you! I could even be…"

He decloaked behind Tucker. "Right behind you!"

"GAH!" Tucker yelped. "Where the hell did you come from?! Did you take lessons from Doc?!"

"Hurtful!" Doc said.

"I wouldn't put it past him though. Mwahahaha!"

"And… I could be any one of you." He immediately disguised himself as Sarge. "Clever, no?"

"Hoowee, that's a fine looking specimen right there!" Sarge said as Spy took off his disguise.

"Great… way to make us paranoid." Tucker mumbled.

"I can also backstab people." Spy nonchalantly added.

"So! What do you think?" Sarge asked.

"I'd say that they're BATSHIT INSANE." Washington said.

"So basically, they fit right at home. I like 'em." Carolina said.

"They're alright." Tex shrugged it off. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to bounty hunting." She walked out of the base.

Later…

BGM: Toad Town (Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story plus Bowser Jr's Journey)

"So… what do you think of them?" Carolina asked.

"They're all insane in their own way… I mean, yeah, they'll fit right in but… geez. I swear they're crazier than our guys! …And now Red team is completely lopsided because they have nine more individuals!"

"They'll be fine." Carolina said.

"So… do we even know their names?"

"I did some digging on each of them." Carolina said, pulling out some files and putting them on the table.

"Let's see here… Scout's name is Jeremy, he's from Boston, Massachusetts… yeah, that checks out." Washington mumbled. "Soldier… huh? MISTER JANE DOE?"

"That's his way to say that his name is classified."

"I can see that! Midwest, USA… that narrows it down." He mumbled. "...Hold up. World War II ended in his world yet he still went on a nazi killing spree because he wasn't aware it ended?"

"Yup."

"...Good lord…" Washington said in disbelief. "Hold on… Pyro's name and place of origin is unknown?"

"Apparently, Caboose knows the answer to that but he says it's classified."

"Of course he did…" Washington sighed. "Let's see… Demoman's name is Tavish Finnegan DeGroot… Ullapool, Scotland. Yup, definitely checks out. Heavy's name is Misha or… Mikhail for short and… good lord, how do you pronounce THIS?!" He wondered. "...I'm just gonna say Russia because I can't even pronounce that right."

"That's fine."

"...Huh, says here he has a PhD in Russian Literature. Neat… wait, says here that he has a sister who's… dating Soldier?"

"Yup."

"Oh, I hope his stupidity didn't rub off on her." Washington hoped. "Engineer… name is Dell Conagher from… Bee Cave, Texas? Didn't even realize he was Texan." He rubbed the back of his head. "Medic is Doctor Ludwig from… Stuttgart, Germany. Somehow, I'm not surprised his name is Ludwig…"

Carolina shrugged. "Eh, what can you do."

"Sniper is Mr. Mundy from… New Zealand? I thought he was Australian."

"Apparently, Australia became Atlantis in his world."

"...What?"

"Yeah, surprised me too."

"...No name for Spy but he's from France. Let me guess, classified?"

"Did the whole "I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you" thing. Of course, in his words "Gut me like a cornish game hen"."

Washington set his hands on the table and put his head down. "Good grief, why did Sarge get these guys off the streets…"

"I'd say it'll never be a dull moment here again."

"It wasn't like that to begin with!"

"You say that like it's a problem."

Meanwhile, with Scout and Tucker…

"Heeeey Teruteru!" Tucker walked up to him. "We got a new member in our group here!"

"Oh?" Teruteru turned his head to see Scout. "My word! You're one of those people that Chiaki tends to talk about!"

"Chia- who?"

"Ah, don't worry about it! You have trouble with the ladies, I presume?"

"Well… I did score a date with a woman once."

"Atta boy!" Both of them grinned.

"Unfortunately, Pauling mentioned that she's a lesbian during our date."

"Oooooh!" Both of them cringed.

"The good ol' "I'm a lesbian" tactic to get away from dudes. Classic maneuver if I say so myself." Teruteru mused.

"Ah, she probably is though!" Scout said. "...Then again, I'm not sure why she even bothered to accept my invitation in the first place."

"...You didn't ask for a threesome? You could've been in the middle of two gorgeous ladies!" Tucker pointed out.

Scout blinked. "Ah, CRAP! I didn't think of that!"

"Not to worry! We'll find a woman together!" Tucker said.

"Yeah!" Teruteru grinned.

"Ah, fellas. I appreciate it!" Scout said, as all three of them high fived together.

With Engi…

"So. This is where the geniuses like to hang out at?" He asked.

"Holy crap…" Futaba and Kazuichi said in awe.

"Sweet, another mechanic!" Nitori grinned.

"A pleasure to meet you." Pietro said.

"Same to all of you." Engi tipped his hard hat to them and walked inside, all the while GLaDOS stared at him, then he looked directly at her. "Heh, pardon me, ma'am… but I can't help but notice you look familiar."

"I'd say the same to you." She said. "You sound familiar too."

"Small world…" Engi chuckled.

I swear, where have I seen him before? GLaDOS wondered.

"Maybe you've met him at Aperture once?" Miku guessed.

No, I don't think that's it…

End BGM

Meanwhile, with Medic…

BGM: Dr. Toadley (Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story plus Bowser Jr's Journey)

Medic walked up to the front desk. "Guten tag!" He greeted.

"Oh, hello there." The receptionist greeted. "You are a medical profession as well?"

"Indeed! I was wondering if I could speak with zhe head doctor of zhis hospital."

"Certainly." She nodded and pulled out a phone. "Paging Mikan Tsumiki, can you come over to the lobby please? Someone wishes to see you."

With Mikan…

"Hmm?" Mikan turned her head. "Oh, perfect timing." She said, after having finished surgery as she turned to Maria and Tomoe. "You got this?"

"Of course we do!" Maria smiled as Mikan smiled back as she walked off.

Mikan soon made it to the front lobby. "Alright, who is it that needs my atten-" She spotted Medic reading a magazine. …Is that… oh HELL NO. She thought in dismay.

"You feeling okay, ma'am?" The receptionist asked.

"Y-yeah, I'll be fine." Mikan grimaced.

"Ah, you must be zhe head of zhis place!" Medic greeted. "Dr. Ludwig, at your service!"

"Mikan, nice to… "meet" you…"

"Ah! So you're zhe frauline I've been hearing about!" Medic smiled. "A pleasure!"

"You've… heard about me?"

"Of course! I've heard stories from your good friends about how you're zhe best nurse in zhe Mushroom Kingdom."

"Well… I…" Mikan blushed, brushing her hair to the side. "I… I don't mean to brag-"

"Indeed, especially considering how I patched Ruby back together with nozhing but an elephant hip."

"It's good to hear that she's feeling bet-"

*record scratch*

Mikan's eyes widened. "WHAT?!" She said in horror.

"Ja! I shortened those hips because zhey were wide enough zhat she wouldn't be able to sit properly. I mean, just imagine the difficulties of her sitting in a theater chair! So I shortened zhe hips and now? Now her legs are twice as strong, especially when she does playful hip checks!"

Mikan's eye twitched. "You mean to tell me… you mutilated an elephant… to replace Ruby's shattered hip?"

"Two, to be precise. Her other hip was lonely so I decided to do zhe same! I mean, zhey were dead. Not like zhey were using zhem!"

"...I knew I should've operated on Ruby when I had the chance… but no, Viridi insisted she'll take care of it!" Mikan groaned. "She's not the goddess of healing. She's a goddess of nature!"

"Aw, don't feel too bad. Ruby's feeling a lot better! …Of course, now she gets sad over chainsaws… but, I'm sure she'll get over it."

"I see…"

"How is that completely ethical, anyway? First she was part plant, now she's part elephant!" The receptionist said in dismay.

"Nonsense! I could've given her an elephant trunk to replace her nose. But I didn't! …Zhat said, zhere is a probability of her bellowing like an elephant every once in a while, but zhat isn't an issue."

"Of course it's an issue. You're having Ruby bellow like an elephant!" Mikan exclaimed.

"What kind of a doctor do you think you are?!" The receptionist asked. "I'm surprised you're still a licensed profession!"

"Ah… I lost my medical license when I removed an entire patient's skeleton." Medic mused, causing the receptionist to jawdrop while Mikan's eye twitched repeatedly. "So! Think you have room for another medical professional?"

Five seconds later…

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

Medic faceplanted as Maria kicked him out.

"AND STAY OUT, ASSHOLE!" Maria yelled and closed the doors.

Medic got back up, dusting himself off. "Oh, zhey'll come back. Zhey always will."

Mikan sighed in annoyance. "Maria, cover the rest of my shift… I'm heading to check on Ruby and… maybe hit a bar on my way back…"

"Can't say I blame you, I'd do the same."

With Caboose and Pyro…

"Hey Junko! I want ya to meet someone!" Caboose opened up the door.

"Hmm?" Junko turned her head and saw the two. "Oh, hey Caboo-... holy shit, is that the Pyro?!"

"Yup!" Caboose said. "Pyro. Junko. Junko. Pyro!"

"Mmmph mmmph!" Pyro immediately hugged Junko.

"Mmmph!" Junko grunted from the sudden hug before smiling, patting Pyro's head. "Nice guy… or gal…"

"Oh hey, where's Mukuro?"

"She's going under a pysch eval right now with Snake. Apparently, Laxus thinks she'll be perfect for the Thunder Legion. Right now, they're trying to get her to the point where she won't be "shoot first, ask questions later"."

"Mmmmph mmmph!"

"That sounds just like Soldier!" Caboose translated.

Junko chuckled. "Yeah."

"Have you found any more of your friends?"

"Well, no… I'm still trying to locate Hifumi and Taka, but unfortunately… the computer hasn't been able to locate them yet. That said, I have a guy who's willing to help out to find Taka for me."

Meanwhile…

"HELLOOOOO!" Mondo yelled, holding up fliers with Taka's face on it. "HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY BRO AROUND? HE'S ABOUT YAY HIGH AND SUPPOSEDLY HAMMIER THAN THAT GUNDAM TANAKA GUY!"

Back with them…

"Cool!" Caboose said. "And Hifumi?"

"No idea where he's at." Junko shrugged. "Eh, I'm sure they'll show up eventually."

"Yup! That's where it-... hey!" Caboose pointed to her hair. "Am I seeing red streaks of hair?"

Junko frowned. "Oh, right… I've been meaning to say this but… hang on a second." She walked over to the bathroom and about a few minutes later, she came out with red wavy hair and red eyes. "I'm… not actually a brunette. I'm actually a natural red head. Same with the eye color."

"...Oh. My. Gosh."

"Mhm."

"I didn't know you were Mrs. Claus this whole time!"

THUD!

Junko anime fell from that statement while Pyro tilted his head. "Mmph?" She wondered, picturing her next to Santa Claus.

"Oh Caboose…" Junko laughed as she got back up. "What are we gonna do with you?"

Caboose chuckled. "So! What's with the new look?"

"Ah, right… have you ever heard the story of Ryoko Otonashi?"

"Not sure if I had."

"Alright, so… where do I begin? You know how Hajime can turn into his Kamakura persona when he wants to cut loose?"

"When he goes Hulk? Yes!"

"It's kinda like that, but this is nothing like going The Incredible Hulk on anyone. You see, Ryoko Otonashi is my own persona."

"Ooooh, I like this!"

Junko smiled. "Let me tell you, it was crazy when I was Ryoko back in the day. It's a long story."

"We have plenty of time!" Caboose said and turned to Pyro. "Don't we?"

"Mmhmmph!"

Junko giggled. "Alright, you might wanna make yourselves comfortable. It's definitely a long one."

"We're all ears."

BGM: Heartless Journey (Danganronpa V3)

"Ryoko Otonashi was your everyday typical highschool girl, but she did have one thing that made her stand out from others."

"Is it lice? It's totally lice." Caboose guessed.

"She had constant amnesia."

"That was my second guess."

"Ryoko always had trouble remembering even the slightest things in her life; she would say hello to you in one minute and completely forget you in the next. But there was one thing she could never forget, or more specifically someone.

It was her childhood sweetheart, my childhood sweetheart, Yasuke Matsuda."

"He sounds nice."

Junko chuckled. "Nice isn't the word to describe him. Yasuke is what someone would call an asshole, but he was my asshole. And yes, I know how wrong that sounds."

"Mmmph mmph." Pyro seemed to agree.

"He was also very smart for his age, being a very skilled neurologist and was regarded as an expert neurosurgeon and neuroscientist. It's what gave him the title 'Ultimate Neurologist'." Junko then frowned. "But he was also very antisocial, likely a result of losing his mother to a disease."

"Lost mother stories, those are always the worst."

"One time when we were kids, before his mother died, I built this sand sculpture based on the Sagrada Familia church. However, a month later, it was destroyed by an unknown culprit. Yasuke decided to go and search for the perpetrator, but wound up to a dead-end, as he had never found any witnesses. Though the big kicker was that I destroyed the sculpture all along."

"Must be a bad sand sculpture."

"I said that I did it by accident, but truthfully, it was to get Yasuke out of his house, upset that his mother's condition had led him to become more withdrawn than usual."

"Aww, a nice friend!"

"A nice friend, yeah…" Junko got depressed for a moment, recalling the last time she spoke to Yasuke, but snapped herself out of it.

"Mmph mmph?" Pyro wondered.

"You seemed sad." Caboose translated.

"N-Nothing too serious." She lied. "But anyway, Ryoko's amnesia was so bad that her grades were the worst ever in school. She should have been kicked out of school, but Yasuke talked to the higher ups and convinced them to let her stay so he could study her disorder."

"Stick it to those nasty higher ups!" He said in a chipper tone.

"To help with her condition, Ryoko always carried a notebook so she could write down anything happening around her. It even helped her remember herself being the Ultimate Analyst, though it made her thing that "power of love" granted her the talent. But that didn't help her on what would happen."

"She would get dragged into a huge conspiracy involving a tragic event, where she would be hunted down by these eight identical siblings I dub the Madarai Brothers, make friends with an Ultimate Spy, and learn of Yasuke's involvement in said tragedy."

"Mmph mmph mmmph?" Pyro asked.

"Does the Ultimate Spy get spychecked?" Caboose translated, causing Junko to snicker.

If you consider a neck snap a spycheck. Junko quipped in her head. "So after all that, after being hunted down, meeting a weird maid, thinking that she lost Yasuke to someone else, and nearly getting strangled to death, Ryoko remembered everything. Or more specifically, I remembered everything."

"Yay!"

"Mmph mmph mmmmph."

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"And the moment I remembered was the moment Yasuke died…"

"Uh oh." Sounds like someone needs a hug after this!

"And the kicker of all this was that I was the one who killed him, just to feel the despair of losing someone I loved…"

"MMPH?!"

"Okay! ...Wait, what was that first part again?"

Pyro facepalmed. "Mmmph..."

"And with Yasuke gone, Ryoko never returned, cause that treatment for my amnesia I mentioned earlier was actually what gave me amnesia in the first place. I had him do it to me on purpose so I could use it on my former classmates later on. And that's the whole story of Ryoko Otonashi…" Junko takes a hold of her hair. "Though I guess a bit of her managed to come back."

"Wow!" Caboose said. "Neat story!"

"Mmph mmph?" Pyro asked.

"When did this part of Ryoko return?" He translated.

"The moment I fell into the River Lethe. But that's a story for another time."

End BGM

"Okay!" Caboose and Pyro stood up and proceeded to hug Junko. The latter chuckled and returned the hug.

"Thanks guys..."

Meanwhile, with Soldier and Sarge…

"What in the…?" Soldier wondered, seeing several Faunus walking around. "Why am I seeing genetically engineered animal humans?"

"Ah, those guys? They're Faunus! They're perfectly fine. They were just born that way."

"Hmm… smells like magic in the making." Soldier mused, spotting the Belladonna family walking by.

"Magic or not, they have faced discrimination by racist assholes who want nothing more than to do away with them." Sarge said.

"DO AWAY WITH ANIMALS?!" Soldier yelled. "I will claw my way down into every animal purger's soul and tear them to pieces for even THINKING about wanting to do away with these human animals! I will not tolerate that when I'm around, no SIR!"

"Heheheh… that's the spirit!" Sarge said.

"Now which knucklehead's skull do I have to crack first?" Soldier wondered as he looked around, only to see a thunderstorm nearby. "Oh? A thunderstorm's approaching?"

"Huh… the weather said something about clear skies today!"

A few minutes earlier…

"Hmm!" Nora rubbed her chin as she looked at Mercury and Hazel. "I have to say, not some bad picks!"

"Had a feeling you'd like it." Laxus said.

"You just need one more and the whole Thunder Legion will be filled!" Mavis smiled.

"Actually, I'm thinking of expanding."

"Eh? What for?" Mavis asked.

"Well, Salem has potentially gotten stronger over the past few centuries and even though the past Thunder Legion was a force to be reckoned with, nowadays, I'm sure Salem would disregard us. Soooo… I thought, why not expand instead of just a four man squad?"

"You gotta admit, he's got a point." Nora said.

"True. Sure, two of them worked with Salem…"

"I worked with Cinder." Mercury corrected. "...Who… worked for Salem… so technically… yeah, yeah, you got a point."

Mavis smiled. "Mhm! I wonder how many you'll have…"

"Who knows." Laxus chuckled.

"Um… excuse me!" A voice said as they all turned to see Zapple approaching them.

"Hmm?" Laxus looked at her. "Oh hey, you're one of those Half Genies that Shantae was friends with… you're…"

"Zapple."

"Nice to meet you. I happened to see you at the wedding."

"Yeah, so did I." Zapple nodded. "Look, this is gonna sound strange and all, but… when I laid eyes on you, I couldn't help but feel… attracted somehow."

"Really?" Laxus asked.

"Can't say I blame ya, sister!" Nora said as she took off Laxus's shirt. "I mean, look at those pecs! The six pack, those muscles… goodness gracious, dude's a hunk! I'm surprised no one bothered to ask him on a date!"

"...You just called your ancient grandfather a hunk." Hazel pointed out.

Nora blushed a deep red. "I didn't mean it like that!"

Laxus laughed. "Don't sweat it." He said, patting Nora on the head.

"So… what kind of Half Genie are you?" Mercury asked.

"Well…" Zapple held out her hand and electricity coursed through her body. "I have electrical magic coursing through me."

"Ooooh!" Nora's eyes sparkled. "I have a semblance that absorbs lightning and I use it to power myself up! I also do have the Thunder Hand soooo…" Her body crackled with electricity. "I can shoot out lightning if I want to~!"

"I have a semblance of the same thing, except unlike Nora who had a power up… I'm able to manipulate it." Laxus said, his body crackling as well.

"Whoa… how'd you get your semblances?"

"Got hit by lightning on a Thursday." Both of them said.

"...I see it runs in the family." Hazel deadpanned.

"I… didn't get hit by lightning. Though I've heard I was born during a thunderstorm." Zapple admitted. "My mother taught me all I needed to know before she disappeared."

"Nice." Laxus nodded.

"So… uh… this is going to be crazy, but… I want to see how strong you are with your electricity."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Laxus chuckled, his body crackling with electricity. "Well, I won't say no to a friendly spar."

Excitement swelled in Zapple's chest. "Alright…" She smirked. "This is gonna be fun!"

BGM: Lightning Battle (Kid Icarus: Uprising)

Everyone took a step back as Laxus and Zapple stared at each other, the latter lunging at Laxus and punching him but he took a step back and delivered a right hook, but Zapple blocked with her arms, as she was pushed back as Laxus lunged and delivered strong blows to her but she zipped away as she launched into the air and dive bombed him, delivering a strong lightning kick to his face to knock him back a few feet.

Zapple delivered a strong haymaker into his chest, but Laxus blocked and shot electricity into her, knocking her away as Zapple smirked and then jumped up, punching him in the face but Laxus weaved his head and punched her down, but Zapple recovered.

Haven't had this much fun! She thought as Zapple converted her whole body into electricity as did Laxus, both of them lunging and smacking into each other, all of them having smirks on their faces as lightning shot out everywhere as even shot up into the sky.

Laxus threw an uppercut to knock Zapple in the air as he launched himself in the air to punch her down, but Zapple zipped away and then came back and headbutted Laxus in the chest to knock him back as Zapple flipped around and axe kicked him, but Laxus grabbed her ankle and threw her down to the ground.

Zapple recovered before she hit the ground, using her electricity to catch herself as Laxus landed in front of her as the two of them lunged again, delivering punches and kicks toward each other until Laxus delivered a sweep kick to knock her to the ground and Laxus got on top of her, pulling his fist back as Zapple protected herself with her hands.

End BGM

"Heh… you're not bad." Laxus said, getting off of her.

Zapple chuckled. "Looks like those muscles aren't just for show." She said, Laxus helping her up. "You really pack a hell of a punch."

"You're no slouch either." He said with a chuckle.

"Man, this was more epic than when Yang fought Laxus. He took her out in one punch! Heck, I still think Tifa and Gloria owe you a fight." Nora said.

"Really? Guess you went all out." Zapple said.

"Sometimes I don't know my own strength." Laxus admitted.

"Same here~!"

Like grandfather, like granddaughter. Mavis thought with a giggle.

"So, with strength like that…" Laxus spoke up. "You want to join the Thunder Legion?"

"Y-you mean… j-join you…?!" Zapple said in surprise, blushing a little. "I…"

She suddenly flashbacked to what happened to her and her boyfriend. She immediately teared up. "I… I… I have to decline… I'm so sorry!" She took off running.

"Huh…?" Nora wondered. "Was it something you said?"

"I don't think so." Laxus said. She seems pained… I wonder what's troubling her.

Meanwhile, at the Rose/Xiao Long/Branwen house…

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Parr!"

"That man out there, he needs help!"

"Do NOT change the subject, Bob! We're discussing your attitude!"

"He is getting mugged!"

"...Well, let's hope we don't cover him!"

"I'll be right back."

"Stop right now OR YOU'RE FIRED!"

"...Really?" Oran looked absolutely annoyed.

"Ugh, he's a real peach…" Ruby mumbled.

"Close the door… get over here, now. I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy."

"He got away…"

"Good thing too! Heh, you were this close to losing your-"

Ruby immediately started snickering the moment she saw him grabbing his boss's neck and threw him across several rooms before he slammed into some filing cabinets, while Oran started laughing hysterically.

"Deserved~!" Ruby giggled.

Ding dong!

"Oh, I wonder who that could be." Ruby said as she got up and walked over to the front door, seeing Mikan. "Oh, hey Mika-"

"How are your hips doing?"

"Huh?" Ruby blinked as Mikan walked in. "Uh, my hips are doing wonderful, why do you ask?"

"I just heard that you have different hips. Are you feeling okay? You're not contracting a fever or any other crazy side effects, right?"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down! I'm feeling perfectly fine. I can walk normally now. My lower body strength is pretty strong now. Though I'm working on making sure I'm kicking… lightly so I don't internally bruise Yang or anyone else I'm sparring with."

"Just to make sure." Mikan immediately set up shop.

"Whoa, you're doing an impromptu medical evaluation?!"

"Considering I just learned who operated on you, yes!" She said as she went right to work. "Okay, temperature is normal… your heart rate is average… your heart is actually normal sized. Your vitals are in good condition… your rose arm is still rosy as ever-"

"Whoa, Mikan, what are you doing here?" Summer asked as she walked over.

"I caught wind that a certain quack operated on Ruby so I'm just making sure she's normal."

"Ah… yeah, that'll do." Summer giggled.

"Your hips… yup, those are elephant hips." Mikan groaned. "And considering he perfectly glued them together and fit in your skeletal structure… my goodness, it's a perfect fit. He somehow managed to do that without even… how…?" Mikan rubbed her scalp in bewilderment. "This shouldn't even be possible and yet… I… I'm actually speechless!"

"I'm fine, Mikan. Really. I feel great! Except now I still feel very violated and now I feel sad every time I see an elephant, including the Goliath Grimm…" She sighed. "It is what it is."

Mikan frowned. "Well, if you say you feel fine, I shouldn't be too worried." She said. "Oooh, I can't help but think there might be tons of side effects to this, but… aside from an occasional elephant bellow…" She shook her head. "Well, at least you don't have to worry about chainsaws cutting into-"

"Um, Mikan?" Summer motioned her head to a corner as Mikan immediately saw Ruby sulking.

"Chainsaws…"

"Oooh…" Mikan grimaced. "She gets depressed whenever that's mentioned… yeah, that checks out." She said as Oran paused the movie and immediately went over to gently pat Ruby on the back. She let out a sigh. "I'll never understand how that man hasn't been arrested…"

Back with Zapple…

Zapple sighed, sitting in a fetal position. "Hey. You feeling okay?"

"Huh?" Zapple looked over to see Laxus. "Oh, hey… look, sorry for bailing on you… I just… had a moment."

"I can tell. Something on your mind? If it's too painful, I won't have to-"

"No no, it's okay. You deserve to know." Zapple looked up at the sky. "Back then, I was dating this boy in Armor Town. He was my childhood friend growing up and we were best friends. One day, he was suddenly distant and eventually stopped talking to me. I wanted to get to the bottom of this and when I went to his home, I found him cheating on me with another woman. How bad was it? He proposed to her right in front of me."

Laxus raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah… and he claims he thought he had told me but I didn't receive a word about anything. Then he asks me "Hey, you could be the ring bearer if you want!". I was so… so… angry that I just unleashed a powerful lightning storm on the day of the wedding. I only meant to destroy the wedding… well, not only did I destroy said wedding, but I accidentally killed my best friend and his fiance."

Laxus grimaced. "Oh…"

"That weighed down on me when I learned he died. I just meant to give them a scare of not to mess with half genies, but nope, I lose my temper and accidentally take two lives! …Not only that, but when we were uncovering a mystery on Paradise Island, Armor Baron just straight up attacks me when I was learning the history of the island. He was like a father to me and THIS is how he repays me? Attacking his own surrogate daughter just like that?"

"Hmm… it sounds like you have a lot of trust issues."

"Yeah, I do… and well, I'm not totally anti-trusting… I am willing to team up. I just… tend to keep to myself." Zapple sighed. "I'm sorry that I bailed on you, it was just… teaming up with someone just…"

"Is a bit much for you?"

"Yeah, especially when I don't trust myself." Zapple mumbled.

Laxus chuckled, patting her on the shoulder. "Don't sweat it. We all have had our issues in the past." He said. "Like, with me, I was stubborn enough to try and destroy Fairy Tail, Mercury and Hazel worked with bad people… the latter had a change of heart and lived the life of a hermit before I met him. The former worked with some unsavory people that he didn't mean to and was turned into a 95% cyborg…"

"Oh geez…"

"Yeah, we're not perfect, but we make a hell of a team if I say so myself. Back in the day, Fried, Evergreen and Bickslow had their demons too… but that didn't stop them." He said. "So you have some demons of your own. That's fine with me. Everyone's got some sort of baggage."

He turned to Zapple. "I'm sure we can work on these trust issues. It will take time, but I know we can get through it."

"...You know, for a big guy, you sure have a soft heart."

"Heh, well, I had an attitude change."

Zapple chuckled. "I can see that."

"So… you want in? You don't have to join if you don't-"

"...What the hell. If it means trying to kick these dumb trust issues that I have to the curb, I'm willing to side with ya." She turned to Laxus. "Yeah, I'll join the Thunder Legion with ya."

Laxus smiled. "Sounds good."

Meanwhile, with Sniper, Demoman and Spy…

"I have to say, it's quite different here than the Badlands." Sniper said, sitting on the roof of the base while Demoman was drinking away.

"Ach! Scrumpy's gone… I'll just get more!" Demoman walked off.

"Indeed… It never seems to be a dull moment around here. I think we'll fit right in." Spy said, blowing out smoke from his cigarette.

"Question… you ever going to tell the lad about how you're his father?"

"In time, I will, bushman… but now is not that moment."

"Fair enough, mate." Sniper nodded. "You'll have to tell Scout eventually."

"When the moment is right, I will let him know." He said, putting his cigarette to his mouth again and inhaled, then exhaled again.

Meanwhile, at Bowser's Castle…

"Hmhmhm…" Bowser walked around his castle. "How are you getting along with the hags?"

"I have to say, they're quite… charming, to say the least." Kamek said. "That said, they're pretty harmless considering they squabble a lot."

"Heh, they're not so bad." Bowser said as suddenly, a dark portal appeared on the ground. "Huh?"

"What in the world?"

"Hmhmhmhm… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

BGM: Haunted Fortress 2 (Team Fortress 2)

"FOOOOOOOLS! You may have escaped me, but you will not for too much longer! No mere mortal can resist the magic of… MERRRRASMUS!"

Merasmus the Magician rose out of the portal. "SOLDIER! NEVER ANGER A… wait, wait, what?"

End BGM

Merasmus looked around. "Ah… where in the devil…?" He scratched his head. "Well, this is embarrassing… excuse me, you two. Have you seen a bumbling idiot around here?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific." Bowser said.

"Ah… wears a helmet that covers his eyes, grenades on his chest, has a bazooka… likes to mention "America" a lot."

"I think you're confusing this guy for Sarge." Kamek said.

"Drat! I made a wrong turn… knew I shouldn't have made that portal from Albuquerque." Merasmus mumbled as the portal disappeared. "What! No! Don't leave me! Crud! Now I'm stuck here…"

"Hmm…!" Bowser rubbed his chin in thought.

"Uh, Lord Bowser?" Kamek wondered. "I know that look in your eye."

"Excuse me, Merasmus… was it?"

"Yes?"

"How would you like to join the awesome Koopa Troop? We could help you out with helping you take down your friend." Bowser said. "Plus, magicians are awesome! They're like an endangered species!"

"I beg your pardon?!" Kamek said in surprise. "Excuse me! There's me and the thousands of Magikoopas in this army, thank you very much! Let's not forget to mention the neutral Magikoopas too!"

"Heheheh, you had me at "awesome magicians", I'm in. I will need a place to stay though."

"Hmm… I think I know just the place."

A few minutes later…

"Hmhmhmhm~" Shez hummed as she walked Jasper around, then she spotted a note on the door when she returned home. "Oh?" She wondered.

"Sorry for imposing, but you have a new roommate. A new recruit to the army, if you will. Hope you can handle him - Kamek"

"Oh? I got a roommate? Nice! Can't wait to show him the ropes and-" Shez walked in and immediately saw the mess in the living room, not to mention Merasmus was cooking up a potion in the cauldron.

"Hmm? Oh hello new roommate! Hope you don't mind the mess!"

Shez's eye twitched. "...What. The. Hell."

"Ruff…" Jasper scratched his ear.

"What the hell did you DO?! And more importantly, who the hell are you?!"

"Ah, I am Merasmus the Magician! And you are?"

"Annoyed as hell that you trashed the living room! And taking up the whole kitchen table!"

"Interesting name. A bit long winded if you ask me. How about if I just call you… A.A.H.T.Y.T.T.L.R.A.T.U.T.W.K.T.?"

"WHAT?" Shez looked at him in disbelief. "No! My name is Shez! And how can you even pronounce that anyway?"

"With practice, it could sound totally normal!"

Shez sighed. Great, I have a weirdo for a roommate. She thought. "Welp, let's get your reaquainted with this apartment."

Meanwhile...

Soldier walked around Toad Town, before he stopped himself. "Why do I have this feeling like I feel the need to kick Merasmus's ass later..."

He let out a laugh. "Hahaha! Right, like Gandoofus the Wizard is here in this world!"

He walked off with a casual whistle.

Ibuki: Oh, he has no idea! *giggles*

Nope! Anywho, thank you Wyvern for helping me out with that Ryoko bit!