CHAPTER 17

10 September 1992 - DADA Classroom, 9:00AM

The door to Lockhart's office suddenly banged open and the man entered the class, practically luminescent in bespoke robes of embroidered bright gold. In typical fashion, the various portraits that lined his office walls bestowed their glowing praises upon the man's visage as he strutted to the front of the classroom. From her position at the front of the class, Amy Wilkes swallowed back her initial scoff, heeding the previous night's discussion with Hermione (who was sat right next to her). The older Gryffindor was now convinced (after spending months thinking the opposite) that Lockhart was only pretending to be a ridiculously ostentatious blowhard, though to what end Hermione didn't know. Though she was still very dubious, Amy was willing to give the man a chance.

With a vigorous clap of his hands, Lochart began. "Welcome to Team Recall! You are in this class because I have, based on your test performance, concluded that you are the best fit individuals for this most incredible undertaking, ha-Ha!" He boisterously clapped his hands once more, startling quite a few of the students. "Team Recall is dedicated to the noble pursuit of memory charms, specifically how to detect them, defend against them, and more easily recover from them should you find yourself afflicted." He made his way to the blackboard and with a flourish of his wand, the chalk levitated and began to hover.

"Now, who can tell me about the different types of Memory Charms there are?" He looked at the class. "Yes Mr. Zabini?"

"The Obliviation Charm," replied Blaise, watching as the levitating chalk wrote down his answer. "Also known as the Forgetfulness Charm, is one that is used to erase specific memories. If cast properly upon the untrained mind, it can remove multiple memories without its victim ever being aware."

"Excellent response Mr. Zabini! Most capital! Ha-Ha! Any others?" One hand tentatively rose.

"Yes Ms. Abbott?"

"The Confundus Charm," she replied. "While it doesn't erase memories per say, it does cause enough confusion to be misdirected, to be completely unaware of one's situation, to forget important information, or made…impressionable to all types of suggestions. Cast it well enough, and it's practically undetectable."

"Fantastic, fantastic! Most detailed response ha-Ha! Any others?" Some beats passed before one hand tentatively raised. "Yes, Ms. Wilkes?"

"Um… there's the False Memory Charm," replied Amy. "It implants a false memory into their victim's mind, without the victim realizing it was not originally theirs. Um…my Aunt Hecuba also told me that it's part of the Memory Lock Charm, a spell that's used to hide a person's memories on purpose, to protect his or her secrets. Whoever it's being used on has to consent to it, or else it won't work."

"Precisely! Most exemplary response, ha-Ha! Ms. Wilkes is of course correct about the nature of the charm and its intended purpose. I would like to add to her explanation; part of giving consent requires the intended target to choose a password, typically a word or a phrase that wouldn't typically come up in normal conversation. Due to the nature of the spell's capabilities and its exploitative potential, it is highly restricted by the Ministry and requires both an official license and swearing magical secrecy oaths to utilize. We will, of course, learn the incantations for this spell, along with the others mentioned. Purely scholarly I assure you, no mucking about with your minds here, ha-Ha!"

With that Lockhart moved to stand in the front of his desk, elegantly crossing his arms and his legs. "Now," said the Professor. "Let's discuss the methodologies one can utilize to defend against any of the aforementioned spells. Who can tell me about…Occlumency?"

10:41AM

From his position near the back of the class, Fred Weasley fought the urge to fidget. Seated just a few seats over and to the front was Percy, who'd soundly ignored him for the most part, though not before smiling at him upon his entrance to the DADA classroom. Fred held back a shudder. 'Suppose I ought to be grateful,' he thought sardonically. Most of the students in the class had looked displeased or outright glared at Fred's inclusion on the research team, no doubt expecting classic Weasley Twin tomfoolery. Unbidden, Percy's words about he and George being nothing more than cruel bullies rattled around in his mind.

For some unfathomable reason he'd found himself in Team Chameleon, Lockhart's research group dedicated to 'appearance-altering' potions. Fred barely resisted the urge to groan. He'd initially planned on botching Lockhart's little quiz, but somehow, he'd allowed George (bloody bastard) to convince him to take it seriously. Which was how he and his twin brother had ended up in separate teams for the first time ever in their lives. George would be working with Team Backdoor (something to do with Portkeys), while he'd no doubt be slaving over vats of Polyjuice for the foreseeable weeks, a potion he had successfully brewed multiple times over since Second Year. 'Bloody waste of time this is,' he thought grumpily.

"Now," said Lockhart loudly. "Who can tell me about Polyjuice Potion?" A few hands went into the air. "Yes, Ms. Brown?"

"Polyjuice Potion is a potion that allows the drinker to assume the form of someone else, by adding his or her hair to the brew once it's complete." She paused for a brief moment before resuming. "It's really complicated, one of the hardest potions to make. There's two whole parts with lots of steps, with some ingredients that have to be picked at certain times of the year. Once it's complete, it needs to sit for exactly one month before it can even be used."

"Excellent Ms. Brown, a most astute response, ha-Ha! Ms. Brown's description of Polyjuice is, of course, correct. A complex and highly difficult concoction to create, and when consumed, allows an individual to assume the form of another. Like with any brew, it does have its limitations. Can anyone name them?" Some hands went up. "Yes, Mr. Weasley?"

Percy nodded. "The biggest limitation of the Polyjuice Potion is its duration; on average it lasts for an hour for a standard dosage, and as such must be consumed before the start of every next hour for the transformation to extend as needed. Its effects can be removed prematurely by certain magical defenses, most notably Thief's Downfall that's employed by the goblins of Gringotts."

"Most precise of responses, excellent Mr. Weasley, ha-Ha! Polyjuice's greatest limitation is its duration; capable of lasting only an hour, even if brewed by the best Potion Master. Well…unless said Potion Master is Professor Severus Snape, who, as part of his Sixth Year NEWT extra credit, successfully brewed Polyjuice Potion that lasted for a record eighty-five minutes. Which, if I recall correctly, earned him the prestigious Potions Weekly Young Innovator Award. And an O in his NEWT of course." A few appreciative murmurs went through the class. "Are there any other known limitations?" A hand tentatively raised. "Yes Ms. Bonnevie?"

"Polyjuice only affects appearance," said Miranda quietly. "It doesn't affect the drinker's voice. It also can't be used by a non-human to transform into a human and vice-versa. Animal-to-human or human-to-animal don't work either with Polyjuice."

"Precisely so, precisely so! Ha-Ha! Ms. Bonnevie is absolutely correct. It takes considerable skill to mimic the voice of the person whose form you choose, and very few are successful in that endeavor. It is also worth noting that while interspecies transformations are possible, they last for mere minutes before the drinker succumbs to immense throes of pain, and in most cases, immediate death." Several faces blanched.

"But enough of that morbidity! Let's talk solutions! Firstly, are there suggestions anyone may have to maximizing the duration of the potion? No worries if there are not, one of the primary purposes of this research team is to discover just that." There were a few furrowed brows before Miranda responded:

"Um… potentially Strengthening Solution mixed in with the Polyjuice? It's a fortifier, so it may be effective enough to increase Polyjuice's duration."

Fred scoffed. "That won't work." Miranda's eyes narrowed dangerously and she made to respond, but Lockhart beat her to it.

"Oh? How so Mr. Weasley?" Fred froze, suddenly aware that every eye was on him. He nervously coughed before responding:

"Um…well, because Strengthening Solution uses salamander blood, and it's highly reactive on its own. Combined with boomslang skin and it becomes explosive, literally. George and I lost most of our eyebrows the last time we tried that." Shocked silence met his statement as the younger Weasley Twin coughed uncomfortably. Lockhart leveled an inscrutable stare.

"Mr. Weasley…are you saying you've… experimented with Polyjuice Potion?!"

"Obviously," replied Fred smugly. "George and I have been able to brew the stuff since the summer before our Second Year." Lavender and Percy's eyes goggled. "Naturally tried to see if we could make it last longer than an hour. The best we got was to apply a light coat of one dose of Exstimulo Potion to the inside of a pewter cauldron, before brewing the Polyjuice in it. Pewter brews at the slowest speed, which is the best for Polyjuice since it takes so long to make. Made it around seventy minutes with that, the longest we've ever been able to get." Fred paused and took a breath before continuing. "As far as the voice part is concerned, that's easy; just funnel in some Volubilis Potion once the Polyjuice is complete, a little each day for the whole month. Has to be three doses worth. Oh, and the funnel has to be pewter too, or else things get dodgy." Lockhart made an odd sort of choking noise before shakingly asking:

"...When did you do all of this?!" The DADA professor sounded incredulous. "How did all of your modifications work?!"

"Um… in Second Year, in between me and George's free period." The Professor made that odd choking noise again. "And not sure how the modifications worked, but they did because the overall combination of ingredients was the most stable. We tested it on the Gryffindor team during me and George's Quidditch tryout for the Beater positions in Second Year; the whole team looked and sounded like Oliver Wood for well over an hour. Bloody pissed they were. Had to reschedule the whole thing because it was too confusing." He chuckled in fond remembrance, before awkwardly coughing when the shocked silence intensified. Miranda Bonnevie was practically gaping like a fish.

"...Very good Mr. Weasley," said Lockhart shakingly after a few moments. "Please…please see me after our session."

Slytherin Boys Dorm, 7:49PM

A frustrated scream was all that could be heard as Cassius Warrington raged in the privacy of his dorm, kicking furniture and generally making a childish mess. His brand new Nimbus 2001 was haphazardly resting against the windowsill after being used to repeatedly pummel against the bedroom window. The young wizard assumed a powerful Unbreakable Charm was on the window considering it was still intact and unaffected by the force of his wrath.

The source of Cassius' anger had occurred a few hours before; the Slytherin quidditch team had played a quick 'pick-up game' with the Lions, after the Gryffindor Captain had thrown his own rage tantrum at the Pitch being double-booked. For an idiotic reason the Slytherin still couldn't understand, the halfblood filth had played Seeker while Draco had played Chaser. The same Chaser position that should have rightfully been Cassius', but somehow, had been given to the filthy dirty-blooded scum! He was both furious and disappointed at Marcus Flint for allowing his pureblood senses to be swayed by the filthy lies of the dirty-blooded Potter.

Slytherin had lost the game terribly, as Potter was a horrendous Seeker and Draco a subpar Chaser. Cassius had been sensible and gracious enough to point it out, but the little Potter shit had insisted that it'd been some sort of 'strategy'. "Because we're Slytherins, Warrington," the brat had said, speaking to Cassius as though he weren't his better. "And real Slytherins know when a victory matters and when it's meaningless and can be sacrificed for a greater purpose." It'd taken all of Warrington's willpower to not pummel the halfblooded halfwit in his face as the younger wizard had made his way around him to go to the locker room. Cassius screamed once more in anger.

Picking up his abused knapsack, he quickly fished out Cousin Cassilda's most recent letter, barely resisting the urge to toss it in the trash and hurl an Incendio at it. He'd told her in his previous letter (sent barely two days prior) that he was making progress with younger Potter, engaging him in pleasant conversation and slowly making an ingress into his tight-knit social circle. But the filthy blood traitor had to go and screw it all up by taking what rightfully belonged to Cassius, and he was not willing to let it go. Not any time soon.

Tossing himself onto his bed, Cassius wracked his brain for a different solution to take out Harry Potter and squash his influence within Slytherin House. "Doesn't really matter how I do it," he muttered. "So long as I'm able to destroy Potter, that should be enough for the Family." Suddenly, Jim Potter's enraged visage flashed in Cassius' mind. The Potter Heir had been furious at his younger brother playing Quidditch at all, and in spite of Harry's politesse, had been rudely crass and abrasive to his brother's presence. Smiling, a plan slowly took form in Warrington's head, still smiling as he responded to Cousin Cassilda's letter.

From his position in the painting of a Hogwarts' library table suspended above Lucian Bole's bed, Rothmere - the garter snake that occasionally shared a frame with Kyna - slowly observed the young wizard, making careful note of the things he did and wrote. He'd been asked a few days prior by the young Claimant to discreetly keep an eye on Cassius and report back with 'anything suspicious' Warrington said or did about him and his friends. Rothmere would have quite a bit to report later that night.

The Next Morning…

Draco leaned casually against the back wall of the DADA classroom, keenly observing his surroundings. When he'd learned that he'd be on Team Counterstrike, the young Malfoy had sent a discreet missive to his father requesting information on ping-pong, hopscotch, double-dutch, and anything useful on conventional non-magical hand-to-hand combat techniques, surmising that the bizarre questions on Lockhart's quiz may bear relation Counterstrike's true purpose.

True to form, Lucius Malfoy had immediately sent copies of Table Tennis for Champs, Self Defense for Beginners, Hop & Scotch to Victory, and Ping Pong: Ultimate Guide via owl delivery. Draco had spent a few nights reading over the texts, getting the general gist of what each entailed. So far, he'd surmised that ping-pong was ostensibly miniaturized muggle tennis (like the one played on the muggle Wimbledon Courts), hopscotch was a bizarre version of gobstones that involved entirely too much jumping, and double-dutch was an even more bizarre game that also involved too much jumping between two rapidly moving ropes. While the young Malfoy was more…comfortable around muggles and their various idiosyncrasies, there were some that were just too strange for him to fathom.

Soon, the remaining students of Counterstrike trickled in. Harry Potter entered, surprising Draco with a polite nod before standing just a few feet to his right. Draco returned the nod. Jim Potter entered and immediately sneered at Draco, an expression the blonde was all too glad to return. Ravenclaw Cho Chang and the Hufflepuff Cedric Diggory soon entered, soon followed by Slytherin firsties Yurika Haneda and Ginny Weasley. Draco exchanged a fierce glare with the Weaselette, both equally angry to see the other. Luckily, a startled Yurika quickly ushed her friend over to the opposite side of the room, lest the two snakes decided to strike at each other. Alicia Spinnet entered and stood off to one side of the room, choosing not to interact with anyone. The last to enter was Justin Finch-Fletchey, going to stand by Cedric and Cho as the three began quietly chatting. Draco did not miss the almost imperceptible nod he and Potter gave to each other. Draco filed that away for later. There were a few moments of quiet before Jim Potter opened his big fat mouth and ruined the tenuous peace.

"Surprised to see you here, Malfoy. I was expecting Harry here," he gestured with his chin towards his amused younger brother. None of us have any idea how we got assigned to this group, so I'd assumed it was a Seeker thing."

"Well," Draco sniffed contemptuously. "It should be fairly obvious that I should be the Slytherin Seeker. Perhaps Lockhart took that into account." Harry looked at Draco curiously.

Jim laughed. "Please. If my brother beat you as awful as he was yesterday, I don't even want to think about how bad you must be."

Draco sneered and made to viciously retort before Chang spoke up. "Oh will you two shut up! It's bad enough I'm giving up my only free period on Friday to learn how to play ping-pong, double dutch, and hop-potch without having to listen to a bunch of juvenile Snake-vs.-Lion sniping!"

Draco feigned a very convincing double-take. "Ping... pong?"

"Yeah," said Diggory. "It's a Muggle game. Justin knew what the table was immediately. He's got one at home. Says he's pretty good at it."

Malfoy looked over in the direction of the Muggleborn, who appeared to be demonstrating some sort of odd wand movements to the other students. Suddenly, the door opened, and Lockhart entered with a flourish, carrying two small oddly-shaped wooden bats (like tiny round Beater's bats, the four Seekers noticed) and a white ball about the size of a Snitch.

"Good afternoon, students. Welcome to the introductory meeting for Research Team Counterstrike, ha-Ha!" A few of the students laughed nervously at the more-vigorous-than-usual laugh, but most just stared at the man. "We will work our way through all three exercises, but we will start with these." He held up the paddles. "Now, I assume you all know what this is, but just in case some of you aren't up to speed, I shall explain. Ping pong, also known as table tennis, is a Muggle sport dating back just over 100 years. Its three components are the ping pong ball, the bat (or paddle in some countries) and the table." He held up the ball with one hand and one of the bats with another. "Mr. Finch-Fletchley, would you step forward please?"

A bit surprised, Justin stepped forward and accepted one of the bats which Lockhart offered him. "Now, Mr. Finch-Fletchley, you've indicated that you have actually played this game competitively?"

"Yes, sir. The private academy I attended before Hogwarts had a table tennis club. I've also played in youth tournaments and even won a few in my age bracket."

"Excellen, excellent! Now, would you mind explaining the rules for the game for those unfamiliar with it. I'd do so myself, but I'm not too proud to defer to someone more experienced than I, regardless of their youth, ha-Ha!."

Justin nodded before turning and giving a brief description of the rules of ping pong before the dubious crowd. As he did so, Lockhart removed his ornate chartreuse silk cloak and the matching jacket he wore underneath and then rolled up his shirt sleeves. By the time Justin was done, Lockhart had taken a position at one end of the table with the other bat in hand.

"Well summarized, Mr. Finch-Fletchley. Now, would you care to play against me for a bit to demonstrate?" The boy nodded and took up a position on the opposite side. "Now, do take it easy on an old man, Finch-Fletchley. I am an amateur at this, after all."

With that, Justin served a volley towards Lockhart who returned it easily. The two went back and forth for several minutes, and Justin quickly realized that while Lockhart might not be ready for competition play, he was no complete amateur either. Soon, Justin had actually moved a few feet back from the table into his competition stance, and Lockhart matched him. Their game play sped up as well, and soon the students who were unfamiliar with the game watched in astonishment at how fast the ball went back and forth. Finally, Justin lunged and hit the ball hard and with a spin, and it slipped past Lockhart's defense, bouncing off at the very edge of the table. Lockhart smiled, dropped his paddle, and applauded the boy, and the audience followed suit. Draco clapped along politely, impressed with the Hufflepuff's skill.

"Well done, Mr. Finch-Fletchley. Well done, indeed. Ha-ha! Now, you may return to your fellow students." Justin left the paddle on the table and moved back to the group, where Cedric slapped him on the back genially.

"Now then," continued Lockhart. "You're all obviously impressed with young Finch-Fletchley's skills, but I'm sure you're also wondering what on Earth ping pong has to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts. And the answer is ... well, the answer is something I can't tell you, at least not yet. What I can tell you is this: There is a defensive spell I'll be teaching later this year, more than likely in late November. Hopefully, all of you will be here to learn it, but we shall see. The spell I'm thinking of is the preferred defense of some of the world's top champion duelists. It is also a spell that can save your life in a firefight against a dark wizard." Many eyes widened at that. "Unfortunately, it is a spell that requires phenomenal dexterity, eye-hand coordination, and sharp reflexes. And if you are lacking in those areas, the spell I'll be teaching will not help you at all and might very well get you killed if you attempt to rely on it in a life-or-death combat situation. As far as double-dutch and hopscotch are concerned, they will confer exceptional eye-foot coordination, maximizing the awareness of your own body, its limitations, and learning to exceed them. Once you succeed, the skill I will teach you may also be relied upon in a life-or-death combat situation."

He turned and gestured towards the ping pong table. "We will begin with ping-pong! You'll find there is a room set aside on the third floor which now contains four ping pong tables with balls and bats in a nearby cupboard. Each of you has a bat with your name already on it. You may spend as much free time as you want practicing, and every two weeks, we will meet in that room to evaluate your progress."

He hesitated and then gave a sad expression. "While it's up to you how much practice time you want to spend, I should warn you that any students who clearly have no aptitude for ping pong, double-dutch, or hopscotch will eventually be removed from this Team and reassigned to the early morning physical fitness program."

At that, most of the students looked a bit nervous, especially those like Draco who had absolutely no familiarity with the games in spite of the hours he'd dedicated to reading about them. Justin Finch-Fletchley also looked a bit nervous, but it was because he now suspected that every single member of Team Counterstrike was going to ask him for ping-pong lessons. While the Hufflepuff in him was resigned to being a good sport and helping out whoever asked, the Capitalist Muggle in him said that he should probably consult with Harry for advice on how to leverage the first real advantage he'd had as a muggleborn since coming to Hogwarts.

Jim then raised his hand. "Sir, is there a reason all the Quidditch Seekers got put into this group?"

"There is, Mr. Potter. While there are, in my opinion, no wizarding sports which are comparable to ping pong for what I have in mind, the skills of a Seeker come closest to anything most wizards are familiar with."

"Well then," Jim continued. "Why is Draco here? Last I checked, he's a Chaser." Jim narrowed his eyes at a reddening Malfoy, causing Harry to roll his own. He'd known it would be tasking agreeing to be on Teams Recall, Protector, and Mysterioso, but he was still annoyed at himself for agreeing with Lockhart's madness. 'Should've just stuck with you two you overeager idiot.' Thankfully his Occlumency kept his expression perfectly blank.

Lockhart glanced at Draco and gave an unreadable expression before replying. "Whatever you believe Mr. Malfoy's skills are as a Seeker are inconsequential, Mr. Potter." His expression turned severe as he lowered his gaze to Jim's own. "Should you feel more inclined to discuss your brother's abilities, you should ask him personally." Jim swallowed nervously at the Professor's suddenly frosty tone. "After all, you are brothers. I'm sure you're both close enough to have no secrets from one another." Lockhart smiled at that, but for once, he didn't give that awful affected laugh. Nevertheless, Draco was sure that his smile was no more sincere than his laugh was.

AN 1: I opted to have Fred join an actual Research Team this time, just to see a bit of his brilliance in play. I'm of the mind that the Twins are mad geniuses whose ridiculous shenanigans oft have them dismissed as intellectual/magical powerhouses.

AN 2: Cassius is a lot like canon-Draco, we'll see how that goes.

AN 3: We'll see the double-dutch and hopscotch in play in upcoming chapters, and how it will assist the Research Team its assigned to.

AN 4: To clarify, Lockhart won't be teaching the students Occlumency, as in, have them read Occlumency texts and be subject to Legilimency probes. That would be illegal, due to the whole...tetchy subject of Occlumency/mind magic/mind arts in general. They'll theoretically discuss the topic and its applications, but all will be purely theory as it pertains to Occlumency.