In
contradiction to my newfound delight in omitting disclaimers, I'll add one…
just this once.
Disclaimer:
I…. *cough*…. I don't…. own…….
Geesh. Forget it.
Well,
I've done an AuthorFic for ER and Star Wars, so I guess it's high time I did
one for X-Men: Ev. I haven't tortured
you guys nearly enough.
Chapter
1
Kurt's
watch fell to the ground, shattering into--
"Hey." Kurt peers up at the screen. "Why am I loosing my watch again? That always happens."
It's
a good plot device. I need to put you
into agony somehow.
Kurt
heaves a sigh. "Fine. Proceed."
Chapter
1
Kurt's
watch fell to the ground, shat--
"No,
I don't think you understand," Kurt interrupts again, waving his
hands. "What I meant is
that you should come up with a new and improved plot device."
I
don't have time to do that.
Kurt
crosses his arms. "You apparently
don't have the time to give me my accent, either."
I'm
not good at writing accents.
"I'm
serious!"
Fine! But you asked for it!
Chapter
1
Kurt's
watch fell--
"I
thought that you were gonna give me my accent!"
You
haven't even spoken yet!
"Oh?" Kurt glares up at the monstrous face that
looms down at him from the other side of the computer screen. "Why don't I have it right now?"
…Can't
you shut up for one second?
"Nein. Evan didn't give me my Pixi Stix, and I've
been vanting zem for--" Kurt stops suddenly, looking aghast. "Mein Gott! Vhen I ask you for an accent, I don't vant you to BUTCHER
it!"
It's
not like people haven't done it to you before.
"Ja,
but you're really bad at it."
Gee. If we're done with the copious amounts of
praise, I'll get on the fanfiction.
Chapter
1
Kurt's
watch fell to the ground, shattering into pieces. He stared at it, bewildered as to how it could possibly just fall
off his wrist like that and this story is going NOWHERE.
"You
can say zat again."
Sigh Perhaps it's time to start
over.
Chapter
1
"My…
muzzer?" Kurt stared--
"Now
zere's one thing zat alvays bothers me."
The
voice is becoming vaguely irritated That I can't
write your accent, right?
"Zat
nobody can write my accent! Zey're all
terrible!" Kurt pauses to
consider. "Except for zat one girl
who--"
Okay,
stop right there. I have no desire to
participate in your fanfiction escapades except for mine.
Evan
runs onto the scene, carrying a plastic bag full of paper tubes. "Hey, Kurt, I found a whole bag of Pixi
stix in Kitty's room, she was…" He
trails off when he notices the stark whiteness of the area. "God… Not another KurtAngst fic."
…You
know, Evan and Kurt wouldn't be a bad pairing…
Kurt
and Evan's jaws drop open in a perfect picture of horror.
"No,
no, no!" Morwen O'Conner storms
onto the scene. "Not Kurt and
Evan, write a Lance/Scott romance!"
"I
don't think so." Myranda Wright
appears shortly after Morwen's declaration.
"It should be Kurt paired with an original character."
Listen,
I know that your stories were huge successes, but I'm not sure if I can--
"Lance/Scott!"
Morwen insists.
"Kurt/O.C!"
Myranda retorts.
….This
isn't going to go anywhere.
