A "Dude, Where's My Car?" take off of Metal Gear



Snake: *Drives up to McDonalds*
Chinese Chick: Welcome to Mickey Donnys, may I help you?
Snake: I'd like to place an order.
Chinese Chick: Mm, what you like?
Snake: I'll have a number two, super sized, with Dr. Pepper...
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: And a number one, super sized with Coke.
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: Actually, I think that's about it.
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: No. That's it--
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: No "And then?".
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: And then, uh, nothin' else cuz I'm done orderin', okay.
Chinese Chick: And dennnnn?
Snake: And then..*Small chuckle*..You can put it in a brown paperbag
and put it in my hand 'cause I'm ready to eat.
Chinese Chick: Annn dennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?
Snake: I refuse to play your Big Mac mind games!
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: No! No "And then"!
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: No "And then"!
Chinese Chick: And then?
Snake: No "And Then"!
Chinese Chick: And then........?
Snake: And then...*chuckle*...I'm gonna come in there, and I'm gonna
put MY GUN, IN YOUR MOUTH IF YOU SAY "AND THEN" AGAIN!!!!!
Chinese Chick:........And then and then and then and then and then!!
Snake: *Busts speaker box..Drives off*
Chinese Chick on speaker: Annnnn dennnnnnnnn....?



Snake: *Drives up to some really expensive girl's underwear shop* Hi.
I'm looking for something in low-rise, bikini. Mesh, if possible.
Sales Clerk: I wanna see you in something short, but sassy. A real 90s
look. Something that works as well in the battlefield, as on the
streets.
Snake: Kay. That's PERFECT.
Sales Clerk: *Brings a Teddie with a garter belt*
Snake: *Puts On*
Sales Clerk: *Gets Boner*
Snake: *Really turned on when looks in mirror*\

Later that night, the sales clerk and Snake have passionate..
but rough sex....Snake is never the same after that.