Wanders: Ascension
By Eve
Part Nine: Endless Reflections
London, England
Site outside the Globe Theater
10 February
A.C 202
They had been taught that death was natural.
Five six-year olds who had been tossed into the hands of a
council who was convinced that since they had initiated
liberation of the camps that their souls belonged to them.
The council had shoved them into a competition of survival,
testing the skills of each girl and how far beyond limits their
abilities could go. The gist of things was if they didn't survive,
then they were killed. And then the earth and the colonies
would have been forced into a life where there was no
freedom.
Freedom, she thought with a bitter smile. What was freedom?
It had been sixteen years since she had some sort of freedom.
At least the Society had consorted to let them roam inside the
camps. Even that could be constituted as freedom. But from
the camps they learned that death was freedom. She could
remember nights when she heard people pleading for the
soldiers to just kill them, end it so that they would have to
go through any more pain. Although most soldiers were
more than happy to oblige, many of them preferred to
torment people letting them die slowly or refusing to kill
them for days.
So they were back in London, where everything started. The
tests, the meetings, everything began here. Ironically, life for
them, for her was a full circle. Once again the lives of humanity
were in their hands. To people, they were immortal beings,
legends that if needed would appear when called. Jitsatsu,
did they even know the meaning of the word? Or their
true purpose? They were suicide pilots. Their lives indented
for sacrifice so others could be happy. She closed her eyes,
gently rubbing her temples of her forehead. Inviting the
Gundam pilots into to this was a mistake. The council was
only trying to cover up the fact that they were real. No one
believed that they existed. Especially those families that had
been protected in the war. It was amazing how far money,
power, and status went in the long run.
They had been taught that survival was necessary.
They were to eat, sleep, breath on their own. These skills were
given to them through endless training and well, to a certain
extent personal experience. She looked down at her hands.
These hands, she thought. These hands had killed thousands
and thousands of people to survive. They had basked themselves
in blood. Survival, she thought bitterly. All her life had been
about was survival. No family, no friends, just survival and
good ol' fashion warfare.
Would they be strong enough to handle the past? The council
was expecting them to turn any day. It was like they were keeping
tabs on who would go first. Would it be Cat? Or Mer? Or Dee?
Or Hil? Or even herself? She knew the council was going to toy
until the end, but how far? How far would they go to turn them?
She pulled her sweater closer to her body and shivered.
Reminiscing wasn't exactly her favorite thing to do. But
she couldn't help it. Would she be able to go back to
Ireland and see her family again? She remembered how
she was back then. Cold, emotionless, she could feel no
pain. Funny, she thought. She was almost like Heero.
But it went beyond that. She was the Silence.
The Silence, her brand for life. She still couldn't remember
how she truly came to wear the name. Well, who could
blame her when she was harboring all these memories...
She had been a very quiet child in the camps, reacting to
all the violence in her own way. She used to question it.
Was it right for a man to slap a woman in the face? Or
then take away the very essence of her womanhood and
mock her with it? She had watched countless of nameless
women including herself and the other girls go through this.
Rape, her mind whispered tauntingly. She had been raped.
Any woman now would have looked at her with pity and
would have tried to understand what had happened. But
there was nothing to understand at all and she didn't
want or need anyone's pity.
She would feel dirty and disgusted with herself. Pity to her
was like the unwanted dirt behind your ear. When you finally
got it out, it was one big massive clump that made you want
to throw up. She could almost hear Hilde in the back of her
head laughing at her analogy.
"Rellie?"
Speaking of the devil.
"Rellie? It's two in the morning. What are you doing
up, chica(1)?"
"Thinking," she mummered.
Hilde looked at her worriedly, making her way next to her
at the railing. "Is your insomnia acting up again?" Relena
let a small smile grace her lips at her best friend's concern.
"I'm just thinking."
The brisk winter wind blew gently against their bodies. The
air smelled of a future snowstorm. Maybe the meeting could
be pushed back just a little bit...
"I know what you're thinking. The council isn't that kind to
push it back. Remember we're talking about people who
probably go to their kids and grandkids and talk about how
they use to walk forty miles in the snow to get to school."
She leaned against the railing, looking out into the frozen
tundra of water. "I'm just worried about what they told the
Gundam pilots. I'm even more worried about what they told
my brother and Noin."
Hilde nodded. "We're all worried about it." Relena shook her
head. "You don't understand, Hil. After the whole Barton
episode and when he left with Noin to the Terra forming
project, we only saw each other once. He came to tell me
I was a fool for leaving politics for school. Then when I
tried to explain that I couldn't do both any more, he told
me he wished that maybe we would have never met. It
would have made his life a lot easier."
Hilde brought her hand up to her mouth in horror. "That's
horrible, Re. What did you say?"
She turned to her view back out to the frozen sea. "I said
I wished were dead."
**
It had been awhile since they've all been together. Well,
Maxwell thought with a grin. It had been a while since
they had all been in the same room. All five of them
were Preventers with the exception of Quatre who had
to keep his family business running. But it was kind of
odd. All them actually together...
Yet, none of them liked it.
He watched as Heero and Wufei stare at each other with very
intimidating glares. Even though there had been not much of
a relationship between the two, after the Barton incident what
ever it was dissolved. Yet, he still had a feeling both of them
carried a huge respect for each other. Trowa stood next to his
girlfriend Midii at the window, his tall lean frame hunched over.
He seemed to be lost in thought, particularly after the episode in
Vienna. A tiny smile appeared on the quiet man's face as Midii
leaned against him. Cute couple, Duo thought. But could they last?
It wasn't like he didn't trust Midii or anything. She was a nice
enough girl and he liked her a lot, but the fact that she was an
ex-spy for the Alliance made him a bit uneasy.
His eyes wandered to the woman next to him. Lana Emanuel, tall
and beautiful. She was funny and had an awesome personality. And
the best part of it was that she was his girlfriend.
"You okay," she whispered into his ear. He grinned. "Sure
thing, babe."
She slapped him playfully. "Duo, be good."
He smiled at her, but it quickly faded after she turned
around. Would all this last?
**
"What do you think they'll do when the see us?"
Relena's eyes closed. Hilde had asked the one question that
had been plaguing her conscience for months. What would
they think?
"Honestly, love? I don't know. It's been years since they've
seen any of us. Plus we're supposed to be dead. I don't think
the initial meeting between us is going to be pretty, though,"
She said softly.
"I think the whole idea in itself is a mistake. A very grave
mistake."
"Ye of little faith."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm agnostic, it doesn't matter if I
faith or not."
Hilde grinned. "How could I forget? With my atheism and
your agnosticism, we were the hit of our All-American
Catholic school in seventh grade! Ah, those were the days."
Relena smirked. "The highlight of that year was when the nun,
Sister Mary Catherine I think it was... Well, anyway when she
called you a creature from hell."
"Yeah," Hilde began. "And I told her the Catholic religion was
fucked up and God never did anything to help me, so why
should I bother? She then looked like she wanted to kill me."
(AN: Just a quick word. I didn't write that to offend
anyone. The Catholic religion and I aren't a great mix
and all, but I respect the beliefs of others. It's a part
of the story)
"But anyway, I think you're right Rellie. I think it's a
mistake bringing them into this. They have no experience."
"Yeah," Relena said, nodding in total agreement.
"If they think this is going to be a piece of cake, they're in
for a lot more than that..."
**
He had always been told that life was supposed to be
taken advantage of. The application of the Carpe Diem
theme was supposed to not only be taken literally, but
in the full context of things as well. The theme itself
was supposed to be an important concept in his life.
His family, his teachers, and his mentor had all stressed
the significance of using it to further his success in life.
He was taught that 'take, take, take' was okay.
And he was going to 'take, take, take' away. People would
suffer for the ridicule he went through. He would reclaim
the power the Society lost. And then everything would be,
as it should.
The best part of it all was that not even UESA nor the
Gundam Pilots could do a damn thing...
**
"So what is this meeting going to be about?"
Quatre had finally asked the question everyone was dying
to know an answer to. Noin sighed and begin the briefing.
"As you know Larson is planning to make a declaration of
war tonight. Both Zechs and I, as well as other top leaders
of UESA have looked over the earth and colonies' status if
indeed there was an large scale war..."
"And?" Heero asked, crossing his arms in front of him and
his face expressionless.
"You know Yuy, if you let her talk maybe you'll find out," Zechs
began. "Fuck, I don't even what my sister sa..."
"Zechs, man you don't need to go there," Duo said, trying to
prevent the two men from going at each other. It was bad
enough that Wufei and Heero didn't like each other, but to have
Zechs and Heero? That was totally unnecessary.
Noin shook her head and started again. "As I was saying, when
we looked over the available and found in no way possible that
we could fund or have enough soldiers to fight. Fortunately for
us the Universal council intervened." Noin stopped to take a sip
of her water. There was a sigh from Midii.
"It makes more sense," she began quietly. "It makes more sense
to hear about the Universal council than the Jitsatsu pilots
because people knew about the council."
Lana nodded in agreement. "You're right. People feared the
council back then because they played such a key role in
keeping our lives in order. Now, you don't hear about the
council anymore because they had made it known that they
would not take part in the 'childish' power struggles unless
the saw it as an immediate threat. This is what the Society
was then and is now."
"And what exactly is the Society," Wufei asked hotly. "We've
basically covered the fact that they are dangerous and they've
done horrible things. But what have they done?"
Lana shrunk back and Duo put a protective arm around her.
"Lay off Wu-man. At least she talks."
"Well she's just an onna."
"Wufei..." Duo's eyes flashed dangerously. "Wufei, don't go there."
Quatre, the peacemaker, sensed the tension and motioned for
Noin to continue. "Yes, that is where this meeting comes in.
Since all of us are lacking in this department of knowledge the
council has volunteered that they will provide us with the
necessary applications. And we will meet the Jitsatsu pilots."
The room was silent, but then Midii spoke up. "I still can't
believe they're real. It's just I don't know..."
"What makes it so unbelievable?"
Midii turned to look at her partner with a faint smile, but
quickly turned serious. "We're not just talking about highly
trained pilots here," she began quietly. "We're talking about
the extreme. These pilots were rumored to have experienced
Harrington's terror first hand. Not only that, but they were
doing missions by the time they were seven. We are talking
about child-killers here. CHILDERN trained to search and
destroy..."
Lana stood up. "Boys, we're talking about legends here. Heroes
that no one has ever seen..."
**
"This is definatly going to be interesting," Hilde muttered.
Relena nodded in agreement. "There is definitely going to be
some sparks, but we can't spend all our time dwelling on what
their reactions are. But if it gets out of hand, we're going to
have to do something..."
Hilde grinned pulling her hair into a bun. "We can always let
Merian out of her cage. She'll know how to handle them." The
girls giggled softly, Merian was famous for getting her point
across through fighting. Relena's face turned serious.
"It doesn't matter if they accept who we are or not, what
matters most if that if they can get through this on their
own," she began quietly. Her eyes watched the stars in the
black sky sparkle back at them in wonder.
"The battle isn't about peace anymore. Nor is it about freedom.
Now the fight is about survival. And since the majority of people
living were protected in the past, the battle will be nothing but
bloodshed. Violent bloodshed."
**
"...And I further impart to you that this declaration of war
is for the people. We have been ignored too long and now
under my leadership we will take action. We will be heard..."
She turned off the TV before she could hear anymore. Larson was
already making her sick as it is.
"So does this mean that the meeting will be longer tomorrow?"
Peterson whirled around to see the girls behind her. Merian was
leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed at her chest. Dorothy
was leaning against Relena tiredly. The poor girl looked so lost.
Perhaps she will be the first to turn, Peterson thought. She shivered.
She couldn't even start to think about any of the girls turning.
Hilde sat against the wall next to Catherine whose eyes were closed.
She sighed. "Yes, I guess the meeting will be longer tomorrow. I
think in general tomorrow will be a long day."
**
She found herself staring at the entrance to Alexi's chamber after
the talk with Doc. It was like the damn area was calling, even
taunting her to come forward. She stopped at the door, the reflecting
wall between her and her past. She lifted her pale hand and traced her
reflection. Cool emerald green eyes stared right back at her, almost
daring at her to deny everything. Her long blonde hair was pulled
back into a messy ponytail, wisps of thin strands settling amongst
her face. I am too pale, she thought. I look very sick even. She rolled
her eyes at her own stupidity when she realized she was in her pajamas.
Her light gray sweat pants and long sleeved 'Girls on Wheels' t-shirt
was real attractive, she thought with a sarcastic grin.
This was who she was. Dorothy Catalonia, daughter to Camille and
Michael Catalonia and granddaughter to the Duchess Anna Le
Galliene the greatest patron of art in all Paris was twenty-two and
having a fucking identity crisis. Was it even possible to be confused
for as long as she had been?
She was a loyal daughter and granddaughter. She had even stuck to
Duke Dermail, despite his severe lack of sanity. She loved him too...
Well, at one point in time.
She was a social bitch, not by choice of course. She had been groomed
and primped to smile and nod, nod and smile. The best part, she thought
with a sarcastic grin. Was learning how to kiss someone's ass and milking
it for all it was worth.
She was a soldier, bred to kill and protect. It had been imprinted in her for
life. The concentration camps had taught her survival. She had to eat, breathe,
and sleep blood. There were fights for food and water, sleep quarters, and
work hours. When she had been sent to her grandmother's, she had been
groomed into 'civil skills' such as fencing and sword fighting.
And she wasn't the best fencer in all Paris for nothing.
She was an artist. If she had made through the camps and had escape
from the Alliance's persistence to train child-killers, she would be doing
nothing but painting. Vivid reds after soul searing blues, texture and style,
she loved it all. It was so relaxing to paint. It was a way out of the
confusion, the wars, and the pain. It was something she could do
by herself just to escape life.
Painting was her sanity.
Her freedom from the darkness.
Darkness, the one aspect of her personality that she had been trying to
avoid for years and yet it always mange to catch up with her some way
or another. It was the only part of her personality that she feared. If it
ever overtook her, there would be no way back. She was the Demoness,
from the flames of hell itself. She loved the chaos and the internal hate
of war. It was supposed to be beautiful to her, people dying and the
endless screams.
Now at age twenty-two, she just wanted to say fuck it all. Four different
personalities and she still didn't know who she was. "Fucking identity
crisis," she muttered.
What would happen if all her personalities, unique in their own way,
came together?
Spontaneous combustion is a bitch.
The question, she thought with a soft sigh. The question and the answer
lied on the other side of the door, where the Past meets the Present.
This presented another question.
Was she ready?
**
1) girl/ little girl. It can be used as slang, kinda like when I was in sixth grade until
about eight grade the typical greeting was "What's up, girl?". Amazing how long ago that
was... I'm a junior in high school if you were curious.
**
Thank you for the reviews and please keep them coming!
Disclaimer: As much as it pains me, I don't own
any of them. Sad, eh?