And Baby Makes Four

by mrs~*~kenobi

Standard Disclaimer: Uncle George owns it all. "We're Having A Baby, My Baby And Me" (the song Anakin sings) is by Desi Arnaz.

AN~ yes, it's another "Anakin Doesn't Turn" fic! *imitates Kevin of off Daria* "Hooray!" i know i've done a fic where Ami gives birth to the twins before, but since writing my Luke and Leia adventures ("A Relaxing Day with the Kids", "An Evening At the Palace" and "An Anniversary Party at the Palace") I thought it would be fun to write a comedy about the dynamic duo getting born (irk! bad grammar!) as sort of a prequel to the series. enjoy! :)

~*~

"Gah!" Anakin groaned as the alarm went off. He stretched an arm up from under the covers and reached for the button. After several unsuccessful attempts, he picked up the alarm chrono with one hand and threw it across the room. The buzzer immediately died after the chrono crashed against the wall.

Amidala stirred. With her eyes still closed, half asleep, she mumbled, "Okay, okay, Anakin, I'm getting your breakfast..."

Anakin sat up and looked over at her. "Why did you set the stupid alarm?"

"Please just ten more minutes, Sabé. I promise I'll be in time for the meeting..."

Anakin laughed to himself. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up." He gently shook her.

Amidala blinked and sat up. Rubbing her eyes, she asked, "What time is it?"

"Too early," he replied, throwing the covers aside. "Why did you set the dumb alarm?"

Amidala ran her hands through her messy brown hair. "You did, remember? You said you wanted to be up when I was in case I went into labor while I was getting dressed." She giggled.

Anakin scoffed, opening the closet door. He reached for his clothes and closed the door. "I was with you when the doctor said any day now," he protested. "How am I to know when one twin says to the other, 'Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand'?"

Amidala rolled her eyes with amusement and rested her hands on her pregnant belly. "Well...I guess you don't. But neither do I," she pointed out.

"But when they do decide," Anakin continued, pulling on his Jedi apparel, "You'll be the first to know!"

"Look, dear," she said, getting out of bed and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "the second I go into labor I will be sure to let you know," she grinned. "But that second is not this second."

Anakin stared straight ahead, pulling on the rest of his clothes. "Yes, but sooner or later, that second will be this second."

Amidala released her embrace on him. "Yes, but until then," she stepped into the refresher, "try to relax."

"It won't be easy," he replied.

~*~

Anakin sat on the sofa, flipping through the channels. Nothing seemed to be on. "Junk, junk, junk, junk..." he said after every channel.

Amidala looked up from her crocheting and turned towards her husband. Then at the holo-vid, then back at Anakin again. "Well, um, dear...I think maybe it would be easier if you stopped and waited for the show titles to appear before clicking to the next channel. You're going through them at one hundred miles an hour."

Anakin bit his lip sheepishly. "Er, I guess that would help. But I can't concentrate."

"What did I tell you, dear...relax! I'm not nervous," she replied, wrapping yarn around her crocheting hook.

"What's your secret? I mean, how can you mellow out when you know you might be a mother any minute?"

"Easy."

Anakin looked over at her. "Okay, then, how?"

"Watching you drive yourself crazy always calms me down," Amidala laughed.

"Ha, ha," he replied dejectedly.

"Look, Ani, why don't you find something else to do? Read the paper or something. You know how reading about the choas that sweeps our universe always gets your day started off right!" She giggled.

"It won't work," he said. "I can't believe you still want to go to the theater tonight. I mean, I took a leave of absence from the Jedi Temple so I could be with you at all times during your ninth month...you know, so I wouldn't be going a trillion places and worrying about you, but here I am with you, going a trillion places!"

"Come on, Anakin. The show will take your mind off things," Amidala said, putting her work aside. Rising from her glider rocker, she said, "I'm going to the kitchen for a snack. You want anything?"

Anakin jumped up. "Ami, if you want anything, I will get it! You don't move an inch! You should be resting!"

"Oh, Anakin, this is ridiculous," Amidala sighed as her husband gently pushed her back down in her rocker. "I feel just fine."

"Sure, you feel fine now. But what if you're at the refrigeration unit and suddenly go into labor? Then the sudden pain causes you to loose your balance, and you fall and break a leg? That will not be good, my dear!" Anakin exclaimed. "Now, I'll go to the kitchen and get you a snack. You stay right there!" He ran off.

Amidala sighed again and threw her hands up in the air. "Honestly!"

~*~

Later, that evening, Anakin emerged from a steamy refresher, combing his damp hair, walking into he and Amidala's bedroom. "Ami!" he called out. "Where are you?"

Amidala stepped out of the walk-in closet, wrapped in her pink satin dressing gown. "Right here," she said. "You all through in the shower?"

"It's all yours. I'm going to get dressed and go downstairs and get the tickets. Will you be all right?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," she replied, heading for the refresher. On her way she gave Anakin a kiss and embraced him. "You finish getting ready."

"You know, I have a feeling that something's going to happen tonight," he said.

Amidala played with the collar of Anakin's bathrobe. "It's usually woman who have 'feelings'," she said, smiling.

"Well, remember, baby, I'm a Jedi," Anakin said gallantly with a grin.

"That you are," she smiled, slipping out of his embrace and into the refresher.

Anakin walked over to Amidala's vanity, glancing at his reflection as he finished combing his hair. Quickly dressing in his Jedi apparel, he scampered down the stairs, whisting. "We're having a baby...my baby and me..." he sung quietly.

After gathering the tickets from the office, he started back upstairs again. On his way, the door chime rang. Anakin glanced around. Seeing that no one was going to get the door, he rushed to it himself.

"It's so hard to find good help," he muttered, dashing to the foyer. Anakin yanked open the vast doors.

"Well if it isn't the father-to-be," the man standing at the threshold said to Anakin, grinning.

"Yeah, but that title begins to grow dull. 'Father' has more prestige," he replied with a smile. "Come in."

Obi-Wan stepped into the foyer. "I thought maybe I'd drop in on you here in Naboo and see how things were going. How's Amidala doing?"

"As fine as a pregnant woman of nine months can be, I guess," Anakin mused, leading Obi-Wan into the living room. "Which reminds me, I've got to go check on her. Hope you don't mind that I leave ya alone for sec."

"No, go ahead."

Anakin left the living room and rushed upstairs. Pushing open the bedroom door, he called out, "Ami?"

When he received no answer, Anakin started to grow worried. "Ami?!" He slammed his fist against the refresher door. "Amidala! Are you in there?"

Suddenly it creaked open. "Ani, calm down. I'm fine." Amidala stood there, decked out in her evening finery, a dress of iridescent silk, though it was a few sizes larger to make room for her little passengers.

He kissed her. "You know what? Even for a pregnant woman you still look like a knockout."

Amidala smiled. "Thanks...I think."

"Obi-Wan's here. He wanted to drop in and see how we're doing here in Casa de Paradiso," Anakin reported as they headed downstairs.

"Oh, that's nice," Amidala replied as they turned into the living room.

"Hi, Amidala. How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan greeted as she and Anakin sat down on the sofa.

"Oh, pretty good. The doctor says any day now," she replied.

"I'll bet you're on edge," he said.

"No, actually it's Anakin here who can't seem to relax," Amidala smiled.

"So I've noticed," Obi-Wan said, smirking at his former student.

"We were planning on the leaving for the theater in ten minutes or so," Anakin said. "You want to come with us? That is, if the pregnant lady doesn't mind."

Amidala elbowed her husband. "I'd love you have you join us, Obi-Wan."

~*~

The curtains dropped and act two was over. Everyone applauded. As the lights brightened for intermission, the crowd began to socialize.

Up in the balcony, Anakin looked over at Amidala. "You know, I am having a good time."

"See?" she smiled. "I told you a little R and R was just what you needed."

"These are wonderful seats, Amidala," Obi-Wan said. "You must have your hands on every string in Theed."

"Well, being Queen surely has it's advantages," Amidala replied.

"I'll say," he said. "I'm going to the refesher. Be right back," he said, leaving.

After Obi-Wan had disappeared into the crowd, Anakin turned to his wife. "I think going out was a good idea after all. The play sure is taking my mind off things."

"I'm so glad you -" Amidala paused, a sudden urge shooting through her. She grasped at her pregnant belly, and eased out a sigh. "Um, Anakin -"

Anakin didn't hear. "I mean, it's so wonderful to get my mind off everything. I never knew how stimulating an evening out could be."

"Ani, dear heart, I -"

"And the theater was a great idea. It's so nice to watch a scene come alive before your very eyes. I mean -"

"Anakin!" Amidala said loudly. "You think that, er, maybe when you're through there with your playwright's thesis, you can you know, maybe GET ME OUT OF HERE?!"

Anakin's brow furrowed with confusion and worry. Then he looked down and saw Amidala clutching her stomach.

"Oh, GODS..." Anakin exclaimed, his eyes as wide as saucers. "The twins...yeah...they're....you're in labor, yeah..."

"So, what'd I miss?" Obi-Wan asked, sitting back down in his seat.

"Obi-Wan....er, Amidala...she's kind of GOING INTO LABOR NOW!" Anakin yelled. "Come on, let's get her out of here."

The two Jedi jumped to their feet and Anakin carefully scooped Amidala up in his arms. "Ssh, everything's going to be okay, dear, just relax. Me and Obi-Wan are getting you out of here."

Pushing through the crowd, Anakin and Obi-Wan made it to the lobby and out the doors. Obi-Wan spotted Amidala's hovercar and chauffer, and they ran to the car and got in.

"Drive this thing to the hospital!" Anakin yelled at the chauffer. "Ami's going into labor!"

The car took off like a shot.

~*~

Fifteen minutes later, Amidala was in the delivery room, breathing heavily. Anakin sat by her beside and held her hand. Amidala's doctor and his nurses filled the room.

"Those twins are ready to get out of here," he said to no one in particular as Amidala huffed and puffed.

"All right, Your Highness," the doctor said as he and the nurses crowded around Amidala. "On the count of three, you're going to push. One...two..."

"AHHH..!" she strained, pushing.

"Come on, Ami, you're doing fine..." Anakin said suddenly, holding her shoulder. "Keep pushing, come on..."

"That's it, You Highness, you're doing well! Keep pushing now, first one's almost out..."

The sudden cry of a baby filled the room.

"Oh..." Amidala gasped, smiling, as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a girl, Your Majesty!" one of the nurses proclaimed.

Anakin looked down at his wife. "Our first child..."

Amidala tried to smile back, but another urge of pain shot through her.

"Second one's coming," the doctor announced.

"One, two three, push! One, two, three, breath..." Anakin coached her.

"That's it, you're going great..." the doctor encouraged. "Just one more push and the second one will be out."

Amidala pushed with all her might.

"Come on, Ami! Breath...push!"

Another cry soon filled the room.

"It's a boy, Your Highness!"

~*~

A little while later, Amidala was sitting in bed, holding her daughter. Anakin was in the chair beside her, holding his son.

"I love you," she whispered to Anakin.

He looked up from the baby. "I love...you,...too."

Amidala looked puzzled for a moment, then she realized. "Are you crying?"

Anakin paused, then smiled. "No, I...just had an onion sandwich..."

She laughed. "You're nuts."

Anakin leaned over and kissed his wife. "No, I'm a father."

"That you are," she smiled even harder. "And I'm a mother."

"Knock, knock," a new voice proclaimed. "Care for a visitor?"

"Hey, Obi-Wan, come on in," Anakin said.

"Yes," Amidala agreed. "Come and say hello to the babies." Obi-Wan sat down in a chair beside Anakin.

"Here," he said, handing Obi-Wan his son.

"Hello," Obi-Wan said softly. After a few minutes, he handed him back to Anakin.

"Come say hello to our daughter," Amidala said. Obi-Wan stepped closer to her and looked at the baby cradled in the Queen's arms.

"They're beautiful children," Obi-Wan said, sitting back down.

"Yeah..." Anakin said. "We went to the theater, Amidala went into labor in the balcony, we rushed her to the hospital, I got to be with her during their birth, and the result, we have a beautiful son and daughter."

Amidala smiled over at him. "All worth it, huh?"

"Yeah," Anakin said again. "But I have one complaint."

Amidala looked amused and confused at the same time.

"What?" she and Obi-Wan said in unison.

"Well, I didn't get to see the rest of the play! Now I'll never know what happened!" Anakin exclaimed.

Amidala rolled her eyes and whacked him with a pillow with a free hand. "You're nuts."

~*~*~

el fin

~*~*~