Silence.
I felt a warm breeze play across my fur.
I breathed in the sweet air of my home planet.
Was this what it felt like to be dead?
My eyes snapped open.
I was no longer in the isolation chamber. I was in an open shelter, a
large scoop.
I was no longer lying on my side on a shaped table. But just the same I
was lying down, on the grass. The mere thought of getting up exhausted me.
What happened?
Although I was tired, I no longer felt as sick as I had been.
Something important was nagging away at me, whatever it was I couldn't
recall it.
You are awake.
I turned a stalk eye to see my father standing on grass just outside the
scoop, along with him was my mother.
What happened? I asked. Why am I out here?
My mother walked into the shelter, my father stood outside, she said,
The last few days were rough, Aximili, you should be resting.
I blinked my eyes, I am home?
Yes.
This is our scoop?
Yes.
It's larger.
Yes. My mother said, But it is still home.
I'm on our grazing land?
Yes.
I looked at my mother closely, I'm dead aren't I?
My mother looked as if someone had tail whipped her, my father just
looked pained, No you're not, you're home.
No I'm not. I said, sounding a bit rude, although I was feeling
shaky I stood on my hooves, I'll wake up back on Earth. Just like I always
did. And then I'd hate myself for believing this is true.
Aximili… My mother whispered.
I will, this never lasts long, you're not real, none of you
are.
That's enough. My father snapped, angered, but then his eyes
softened. You've been through a lot.
Where's Elfangor then? I said, He talked to me back there.
In the isolation chamber, you're going to tell me that's real too?
No, it wasn't. A new voice said, That was me.
You lied to me? I yelled at the stranger. That's great
isn't it? Just tell me anything, right? Just so-
I didn't lie to you. The Andalite interrupted, he was much
older than me, heavily built. I couldn't help but notice that he was
Elfangor's age before Elfangor was murdered.
Yes you did. You said you were Elfangor. Why was I arguing? This was extremely pointless and unlike myself.
I didn't say that. I said I was your brother.
Another lie. I retorted. But then I cast a glance at my parents;
they had not countered what the new Andalite had said. I felt my back legs go
weak. I staggered backwards.
I only had one brother. I said, my voice shaken, And he's
gone.
The new Andalite said, That is true.
Then you are not my brother. I cast a quizzical stalk eye in my
mother's direction, I kept my main eyes on the stranger, my stalk eyes on my
parents.
I am. The Andalite smiled at me, I'm your little brother,
theoretically speaking. Technically, I'm your older brother.
I said nothing for quite a while. My parents gave me time to digest all
this.
I had one brother. My voice sounded dull. He's dead
now.
My name is Allistar-Sirinial-Shamtul. He said, And I am your
brother.
Excuse me. I muttered. I walked out of the scoop. Scanned my
surroundings. I was on our land. I was home.
He'll get over it. I heard my father say as I walked away from
the scoop.
I'm sure he will. Allistar said, From what I've heard, my
brother had been through hell and back out.
This was unreal.
Not only was I on Andalite land, but also I was home.
Why was that so hard to believe?
I broke into a run suddenly, towards the stream Elfangor and I jumped
over every time we passed. I jumped it, stopped. Walked slowly back to the scoop
in time to get my second biggest shock of the day.
Mother! Father! I- Oh, hi Allistar- I have news you wouldn't
believe! I'm finally a-
I stumbled over myself.
Stared.
She stared back.
I didn't move.
Who are you? She took a step back. Like I was something
dangerous, her main eyes averted, What are you doing on my family's
land?
Who am I? Your family's land? I repeated
unbelievingly, What do you mean who am I? This is my home! Who are you?
What are you doing here?!
She took another step back. Called out loudly, Allistar, I think it's either one of your friends or someone let a mad man loose.
Degan! My mother came running out of our scoop.
Mother? Who is that? And why does he look so familiar? The female
said slowly, she glanced me over and said, Excuse me, but are you sick? You
don't look too good.
She was about my age. Her fur was a few shades lighter than my
mother's.
My father and Allistar followed my mother outside, Allistar said, Degan,
I thought you weren't supposed to be home yet.
They released us early from the academy, She replied, but her
attention was on me, Hey, were have I seen you before?
Degan, this is Aximili. Father said.
Degn took a step back, What? She laughed, This isn't
another one of your jokes Allistar, is it?
Allistar frowned, Since when do I joke?
Degan paled, But he's dead.
See? I yelled suddenly, my mother jumped. Degan looked at me
nervously, like maybe I was going to cut her head off for saying that I'm
dead.
This isn't real. I said archly. None of this is real.
Degan gave me a definite you're-crazy-don't-you-dare-touch-me-look. I
was not impressed.
Mother, is he going to be all right? You want me to call an
ambulance? He looks like he's going to fall over. Degan's voice sounded
vaguely concerned, but her tone was arrogant and strong, so unlike me in my
state of weakness. who are you anyway?
I was so furious I though I was going to lash out, my tail blade
quivered. Who did she think she was? This was my home. Not her family. I
didn't care who she thought she was. This was not her home, and my parents
were mine alone. Degan seemed oblivious to my anger, she seemed to set me aside
as if I was some freak side show.
Degan shut-up, you're no making this easy. Allistar warned,
I'll explain later.
Okay, She said airily, turned around and walked daintily on her
four hooves, as if a mere leap would send her soaring through the air.
I'll just leave you three alone. And him, whoever he is.
That did it.
Leave you three alone? And whom was she to acknowledge my parents and
this stranger and leave me hanging like a dead tree branch?
Three seconds was all it took, three seconds and I was within striking
distance. Her stalk eyes caught me, she turned annoyed. Started to speak. I
could hear the tone, indifferent to me. Absolute disregard. But held some kind
of acknowledgement to the others.
Ignore me, I thought, you wouldn't make that mistake twice.
I don't think my parents or even Allistar thought I was going to
strike, not even Degan herself. At this point I may have to explain that under
no circumstances other than sports do local Andalites use their tail blades as
weapons. The penalties for doing so are high. After all, meadows are homes, not
war zones.
FWAAAAP!
Degan was fast, she jerked backwards, but she did not strike back, she
was too shocked and alarmed. Mistake. In a fight, there is no time to be
surprised.
FWAAAAAP!
I struck again. I nicked her shoulder, my aim had been higher up, but
Degan was finally starting believe what she was seeing. And was reacting.
AXIMILI! Father roared. My father finally snapped out of his
trance. My mother said something. But my anger had clouded my brain.
FWAP!
Her small feminine blade cut through the air, I blocked, shoved it back
and delivered a blow to her face that sent her on her knees. Degan yelped in
pain and alarm.
Dull thudding -someone was galloping towards me- it was Allistar.
Stop it! Allistar shouted angrily. He tried to lash out at me, to
catch my head with the dull side of his blade but I was too fast.
I whirled around at him, You want to tell me you live here too?
Aximili, that's enough. My father had caught up. I ignored him.
I was tired of all the twists and turns. For once I was going to do what I felt
like doing. And what I felt like doing was bringing down the Andalite in front
of me.
As Allistar galloped towards me, his tail blade cut through the air and
reached out for my head. I blocked the blow, side swiped him, knocked him at an
angle, and doubled back for him.
I heard Degan gasp, her brother tumbled to the ground. But despite her
horror she jumped forward and stared in amazement, Can he fight or what?
I said stop it! My father yelled, he looked extremely furious that I was ignoring him.
As I delivered a third and fourth blow, each blow landing correctly, I
collapsed to the ground. I hadn't realized that the entire thing had taken a
lot of energy out of me, energy I didn't possess.
Before my father could step in and do something, Allistar jumped up,
rushed towards me and said, Are you alright?
I was really tiring from those three words. I have had to hear them
endlessly over the past few days. And what bothered me about it was that no one
truly cared if I was all right or not.
Allistar helped me back up; he stood firmly by my side as I leaned
heavily on him. If I had enough energy to oppose him I would have done so
already. Instead I stood gasping for air.
After a few seconds I gathered enough strength to stand correctly, my
knees felt as if they would give out on me. But they didn't.
My father was giving me a strange look and my mother looked frightened. I
cannot recall when I had seen her frightened before, maybe once, but it never
had been of me.
Allistar, Degan? My mother said finally, maybe it was me, but my
mother's voice sounded distant and stunned. Could you please give us a
moment with Aximili alone?
Degan looked plain shocked and Allistar had been giving me the same
strange look my father had given me. I ignored both of them. Instead I turned to my parents, Why didn't you tell me? I shouted as the two left, were you
just waiting I'd stumble over it and then everything would be okay?
Aximili calm yourself. My father said. You're getting upset
over nothing.
Over nothing? I laughed loudly. An offensive Andalite gesture
given the situation.
What has gotten into you? My father shouted angrily.
A virus meant to kill my species and an entire war. And you
want to know what's gotten out? Elfangor. I yelled back, but I immediately
wished back the words.
My mother looked disoriented, like she couldn't understand what was
happening to me, my father didn't look disoriented, he just looked mad.
But the anger I saw so clearly in my father's eyes receded and was
replaced just as clearly with something even more irritating.
Great. Pity. The last thing I needed.
Aximili we- My father started to speak.
Just leave me alone. I said, I hadn't intended to say that. It
came out as a sad sob. Pathetic.
Aximili…
No I mean it, just go. Leave me alone. It took every single ounce
of power I had to keep my voice straight and strong. But they probably heard the
undertone anyway.
My father sighed heavily, Forlay? Come on; let's join up with
Allistar and Degan. Aximili when you are feeling yourself again, we would be out
in the open meadow.
Noorlin. My mother said, looking at my shaking form, we
can't just leave him. He needs us!
Yes we can, and we are, my father said quietly, then he looked
straight at me, if you feel like talking we'd be waiting for you, take all
the time you want.
I didn't respond, just looked away. I felt extremely ill with emotions
that I couldn't make sense out of.
When my parents left, I went back to the scoop. I walked heavily, as if
each leg weighted like iron.
Once in the scoop, my long lost home, alone and hidden from the world; I
broke down.
And started to cry.