FOREVER DIFFERENT

By Sarah Pearson


AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those of you who haven't seen the movie...well, this comes after it. If you have the chance to see the movie I'd definitely recommend it but...well, be prepared for our favorite hero to be very changed. The movie, while good, depressed me; to see my beloved Akito changed into what he was there, his innocence gone... Anyway, this is just a little vignette that's been floating around in my head since I first saw the movie. Maybe someday I'll do something in Yurika's perspective too, we'll see where my muse gets me. :D




It shouldn't have ended like this.

Akito gazed out at the stars moving slowly across the window to his room. Beside him Yurika was cuddled up around his arm, squeezing it tight enough that the circulation was all but gone. Soft snoring was punctuated by the occasional "Akito" whereupon she'd tighten her grasp on her companion's arm.

He didn't mind it in the least.

Turning his attention from the stars he lay back down on the bed, facing the sleeping woman. With his other hand he stroked her hair, his hand brushing the skin of her face softly so as not to wake her. She murmured sleepily and moved into his caress, unconsciously taking the comfort.

A lone tear trailed down Akito's face as he snuggled closer to his wife. It had been too long since there had been peace for them like this - precious time had been stolen from them that could never be given back. Dreams, certain futures, had been stolen from them as well. Shredded blithely by ones with no morals, no care for anyone's future other than their own ends.

What he had told Ruri had been the truth: the Akito she knew was dead. The one who had initially railed against fighting, had believed that in this universe happy endings could really happen... they'd destroyed him. Their experiments had shattered whatever faith he'd had in human nature, in the good of men. They'd burned his senses, taken away his sense of taste, left him only half the man he was never again able to follow his dream. Being a cook might have been a small goal for some, but he had been proud of it. Now, even that option was forever gone.

He wondered what Yurika would think of him now. The Akito she herself had known was gone: would she go on to love this man he was now? It had been a mere two days since they'd left the Nadesico C; she had been told of everything that had happened but had waved it off as nothing more than a bad dream. He knew Yurika, knew she'd really taken to heart, that there was more to her than met the eye including a brilliant brain...but sometimes that clueless attitude grated on him. Instead of being mad at her for being so flippant of all that had happened, however, he had been scared instead. What if, when she discovered what Akito was really like now...she feared him? It was the one thing, above all else, that would permanently break him.

There was no way he could have stayed with Ruri and the rest. He'd angered too many people, had too many inherent gifts simply because of his birthrite, because he was born a Martian baby. It would be unfair to put them into danger they themselves knew nothing about, danger that had not been caught this time around, not really. Megumi had been wrong at the cemetery: he hadn't abandoned Ruri and the rest when he didn't contact them...he'd been saving them. Ruri especially, because she was too much like what they, the enemy, was looking for...another Lapis Lazuli.

Lapis... He often wondered if she was an unconscious replacement on his part for Ruri. Escaping the facilities, boson jumping out of there when they finally made one tiny slip-up in keeping him sedated... she'd been the first one he'd rescued. He had seen what they did to her, used her for her abilities and ignored her otherwise. She was much like Ruri was, yet just as much different - Ruri was at least able to communicate normally, whereas Lapis, who before Akito had never had affection, never had any communication other than orders, data, and information, was no more than a robot herself. She was the extreme that Ruri could have been under different circumstances: a genetically engineered child, grown for only one thing and having only one future in life, which was following directions like a machine. It pained him to admit, he often used her solely for what she did for him: made him feel again. Through her he could smell, taste, see correctly...and as much as he wished he could be different than the bastards who used her before he couldn't give up those things she gave him. He just couldn't.

Yurika murmured his name yet again and curled up more around his arm. Akito grimaced slightly, watching as his hand which was placed next to her neck began to turn a rather unhealthy shade of purple. He couldn't feel his fingers anymore so as carefully as he could he moved to disentangle himself from Yurika's hold. When his attempted failed he tugged harder, but Yurika was unwilling to part with her Akito.

Typical, he muttered and tugged harder, dragging her to his side of the bed. When she still didn't let go, he got a big miffed and started shaking her around, desperate to get his arm free of her vise-grip. Her response was to only hold on tighter if that was possible, causing his hand to look more and more like a swollen tomato. Concerned now he started shaking her all around, shouting, "Yurika will you please let go of my hand!?"

Yurika's eyes opened, she gazed around with bleary eyes wondering why everything was moving so erratically. Realizing it was because she was holding something that was bucking her around more than an estavalis she let go, much to Akito's relief who immediately went to massaging his arm.

"Good morning Akito!" Yurika beamed at him, ignoring his sour look in return. "Is it already time to get up? I had such a refreshing night, didn't you? Akito, what is on the agenda for today? Are we going to rescue more people like we did yesterday? That was so much fun Akito! Akito? Akito?!"

Suddenly remembering why he seemed to love her more when she was asleep (and why he should have let her sleep away no matter if it cost him his arm), Akito started away from the bed to the door but was only followed by a wide-awake Yurika. "Will you shut up, it's too early in the morning!" he shrieked, racing around the room.

"Is it really, it doesn't seem like that. I was wondering though Akito, can we stop by some friends before we get to where we're going? Or can you at least tell me where it is we're heading towards? Do we need any more supplies Akito, or are we still good with what the Nadesico gave us? Can't we make a teensy trip to see daddy, I'm sure he'd be happy to see us! Akito? Akito~o~o!"


Please review! Let me know what you think of it. :)