On to the second chapter…
A/N: Hello, everyone! I am so glad of all the reviews I've received and I would like to thank all those who took time to write some. I would like to point out that this is a parody, so the characters may or may not act like this in real life. The only review I had some problems with is this one:
"Gurl....u gotta write more.K?k.good,now go write"
"I'm not a girl!!!" says the author, running out of the room trying to hold back his tears.
"Oh well," said Hagrid, pulling off the collar and chain Fleur's boyfriend usually kept on him (Note: His accent is not there due to the fact that he is bathrobe-clad in front of a fire place pulling a book off of a bookshelf. "Our story continues in Hogsmeade, a pleasant wizarding community. It is the largest magical community in Great Britain, where long ago, under the rule of a muggle monarch…"
Chapter Two: Hagrid's Great Idea
All third years and up were taking a visit to Hogsmeade. Harry, Hermione and Ron were having a round of butter beers at the Three Broomsticks.
"Um, Ron," said Harry. "I've got something to say."
"Yes?"
"Well, you wouldn't mind leaving me and Hermione alone for a while, would you?"
"No," Ron said flatly. "In fact, I guess I'll just use my gift certificate Hagrid gave me."
As Ron left, Hermione said, "What's his problem, anyway?"
Ron walked to the Hogsmeade Bath & Spa. He saw a tall handsome man at the desk with blonde locks of hair going to his shoulders and a charming smile.
"Why, hello, Ron!" He said flashing a picture-perfect smile.
"Professor Lockheart?"
"Oh, you remember me!"
"But, what are you doing here?"
"Well, you remember how I used other people's stories to gain success? Well, after a while, less and less people had stories to tell, and so I retired from that idea and decided to open my own bath & spa place. May I help you?"
"Yes. I have this gift certificate for a free full body massage."
"Ah, yes. Trolls or Mermaids?"
"Mermaids, please."
They walked down a hall filled with winking and smiling photos of Lockheart until they arrived at a door reading, "Mermaid Room."
"Ah, here it is," said Lockheart pulling out a key. He opened a door to a stunning room with marble flooring and columns and a pool in the middle. "Enjoy your self," said Lockheart handing him a swimsuit. "The bubble charm will activate underwater."
Ron quickly changed and dived in. He swam to the bottom, where he saw a gorgeous group of mermaids: blondes, brunettes, redheads… And they weren't ugly like the ones at Hogwarts. Ron saw one he had recognized.
"Hey, weren't you featured in that article of-"
"Shhhhh! Not too loud," she said giggling as the rest joined in. "Just relax and we'll do the rest."
A/N: The story immediately jumps forward past the whole massage to him walking outside the room.
Ron, feeling totally relaxed, walked past the hallway until he found the troll room.
"Hmmmmmm. I wonder who would possibly want to get massaged by trolls."
Ron opened the door, finding Hagrid sitting in a muddy river under a bridge. Trolls about his size were rolling him around in the mud and pounding him.
"Ah, 'ello Ron! Excuse me, boys," he said dismissing the trolls. "What brings yeh 'ere?"
"Well, I-"
"Nah! Don' say it. Yeh've come fer advice from yehr old friend Hagrid! Sit down. Now, what's the trouble?"
"Hagrid, um, have you ever felt not so special?"
"Is this about Harry Potter?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, I'll tell you what. Tonight, while he's sleepin', yeh just spread shaving cream over his legs, an' I'll-"
"No, Hagrid. I want to be better than him!"
"Oh, so that's what this is about!"
"You see, he defeated Voldemort five times, won the Quidditch Cup twice, won the Triwizard Tournament, and stole the girl of my dreams!"
"Oh, but there's one thing he'll never be better at than you could be."
"And what's that?"
"Why, this!" Hagrid said pulling out a broomstick from midair.
"Hagrid, I told you! He won the Quidditch cup twice!"
"No, you will be the greatest figure broomstick rider ever to grace the sky with yehr presence!"
"Right, Hagrid," said Ron.
Will Ron consider this activity? Or will he use the shaving cream? Find out next time in the next chapter of…
Ron's Envy!
(In other words: To Be Continued…)
A/N: All characters belong to JK Rowling. Play Mer-Boy is just a twisted invention of my mind.
A/N: Hello, everyone! I am so glad of all the reviews I've received and I would like to thank all those who took time to write some. I would like to point out that this is a parody, so the characters may or may not act like this in real life. The only review I had some problems with is this one:
"Gurl....u gotta write more.K?k.good,now go write"
"I'm not a girl!!!" says the author, running out of the room trying to hold back his tears.
"Oh well," said Hagrid, pulling off the collar and chain Fleur's boyfriend usually kept on him (Note: His accent is not there due to the fact that he is bathrobe-clad in front of a fire place pulling a book off of a bookshelf. "Our story continues in Hogsmeade, a pleasant wizarding community. It is the largest magical community in Great Britain, where long ago, under the rule of a muggle monarch…"
Chapter Two: Hagrid's Great Idea
All third years and up were taking a visit to Hogsmeade. Harry, Hermione and Ron were having a round of butter beers at the Three Broomsticks.
"Um, Ron," said Harry. "I've got something to say."
"Yes?"
"Well, you wouldn't mind leaving me and Hermione alone for a while, would you?"
"No," Ron said flatly. "In fact, I guess I'll just use my gift certificate Hagrid gave me."
As Ron left, Hermione said, "What's his problem, anyway?"
Ron walked to the Hogsmeade Bath & Spa. He saw a tall handsome man at the desk with blonde locks of hair going to his shoulders and a charming smile.
"Why, hello, Ron!" He said flashing a picture-perfect smile.
"Professor Lockheart?"
"Oh, you remember me!"
"But, what are you doing here?"
"Well, you remember how I used other people's stories to gain success? Well, after a while, less and less people had stories to tell, and so I retired from that idea and decided to open my own bath & spa place. May I help you?"
"Yes. I have this gift certificate for a free full body massage."
"Ah, yes. Trolls or Mermaids?"
"Mermaids, please."
They walked down a hall filled with winking and smiling photos of Lockheart until they arrived at a door reading, "Mermaid Room."
"Ah, here it is," said Lockheart pulling out a key. He opened a door to a stunning room with marble flooring and columns and a pool in the middle. "Enjoy your self," said Lockheart handing him a swimsuit. "The bubble charm will activate underwater."
Ron quickly changed and dived in. He swam to the bottom, where he saw a gorgeous group of mermaids: blondes, brunettes, redheads… And they weren't ugly like the ones at Hogwarts. Ron saw one he had recognized.
"Hey, weren't you featured in that article of-"
"Shhhhh! Not too loud," she said giggling as the rest joined in. "Just relax and we'll do the rest."
A/N: The story immediately jumps forward past the whole massage to him walking outside the room.
Ron, feeling totally relaxed, walked past the hallway until he found the troll room.
"Hmmmmmm. I wonder who would possibly want to get massaged by trolls."
Ron opened the door, finding Hagrid sitting in a muddy river under a bridge. Trolls about his size were rolling him around in the mud and pounding him.
"Ah, 'ello Ron! Excuse me, boys," he said dismissing the trolls. "What brings yeh 'ere?"
"Well, I-"
"Nah! Don' say it. Yeh've come fer advice from yehr old friend Hagrid! Sit down. Now, what's the trouble?"
"Hagrid, um, have you ever felt not so special?"
"Is this about Harry Potter?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, I'll tell you what. Tonight, while he's sleepin', yeh just spread shaving cream over his legs, an' I'll-"
"No, Hagrid. I want to be better than him!"
"Oh, so that's what this is about!"
"You see, he defeated Voldemort five times, won the Quidditch Cup twice, won the Triwizard Tournament, and stole the girl of my dreams!"
"Oh, but there's one thing he'll never be better at than you could be."
"And what's that?"
"Why, this!" Hagrid said pulling out a broomstick from midair.
"Hagrid, I told you! He won the Quidditch cup twice!"
"No, you will be the greatest figure broomstick rider ever to grace the sky with yehr presence!"
"Right, Hagrid," said Ron.
Will Ron consider this activity? Or will he use the shaving cream? Find out next time in the next chapter of…
Ron's Envy!
(In other words: To Be Continued…)
A/N: All characters belong to JK Rowling. Play Mer-Boy is just a twisted invention of my mind.