To Have And Not To Hold: Chapter 2; To Look But Not To See
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Janet rushed along with the trolley with Jack lying on it as he was rushed into the infirmary.
"Okay, Get a line in!" She called to the people around her.
There was a flurry of activity. The nurses ran around, carrying out Janet's orders as she hooked him up to the
monitoring equipment.
"BP 120 over 80!" One of the nurses called.
"He's lost a lot of blood." Janet told another nurse. "Go tell Hammond to phone for two of O-Neg."
The nurse nodded curtly and left. The blood was kept on the higher levels of the complex in case of an emergency
such as this. General Hammond had to ring and get the blood that was needed sent down.
"BP dropping!" The nurses called, "He's in VF!"
"Charge the paddles. 1000 joules!" Janet called back.
Sam and Teal'c had helped bring in Daniel on another trolley and were standing watching the unfolding drama.
Teal'c was unfamiliar with the medical jargon, but could pick up that what was happening wasn't good.
"Perhaps we should wait outside, Major Carter." He said to Sam who was staring at Jack as the paddles were
charged ready to shock him.
"No, Teal'c. I'm staying here." Sam said.
"Very well." Teal'c said in a voice void of emotion.
The crash trolley was wheeled over and Janet held the paddles as they buzzed with the mounting levels of
electricity.
"Clear!" She shouted.
Everyone around Jack took a step back and Janet pressed the paddles onto his chest. His body jumped and
Sam looked away. Janet turned to check the screen again. The single green line was still flat.
"Charging, 1000 joules!" She repeated. The paddles buzzed once more. "Clear!"
Everyone stepped back once more.
Janet placed the paddles on Jack's chest and he jumped once more.
There was a pause then...
"He's back!" The nurse by the screen called.
The machine began beep once again and the green line showed a definite rhythm.
"Normal synus rhythms." The nurse said.
"Great." Janet breathed, then turned to look around as she secured Jack's oxygen mask. "Where's that blood?"
She asked.
"It's on its way." A nurse replied.
Sam stood next to Teal'c watching Jack's chest rise and fall as he breathed once more. She held a trembling
hand to her mouth and felt tears of relief at the corners of her eyes. She ignored them.
Suddenly, the doors crashed open and a nurse ran in with a large box.
"I've got the blood!" She called.
"Good." Janet replied. "Get him hooked up."
The nurse held the box and Janet took out a bag of blood. She checked the type was correct and then motioned
for an IV stand to be brought nearer. She hooked the bag onto the stand.
"Get him attatched, and stop the bleeding. I'll do Daniel." She told the nurses.
The nurses nodded and returned to Jack.
Janet peeled off her gloves and grabbed a new pair, pulling them on as she hurried over to Daniel.
He was already attatched to the monitoring equipment and the machine beeped steadily. Janet checked his
blood pressure and breathing. All fine.
"Sam, Teal'c!" She called them over, noticing them standing by the door.
They hurried over and she smiled at the reassuringly.
"Daniel's fine." She told them, "He just passed out from all the excitement." She grinned. Trust Daniel. "His blood
pressure's a little high, but that's to be expected. We'll keep him on pain killers. He should wake up in a couple
of hours."
Sam nodded and Teal'c looked on impassively.
"What about Colonel O'Neill?" Sam asked.
"He'll be fine." Janet said, her grin fading. "We've got him stablised, and once he gets that blood into him I'll have
to put some stitches in the wound on his leg, but apart from that, he's great. It'll take him a long time to come
round after a knock like that, but we'll keep him sedated anyway, so he doesn't wake up too suddenly."
Sam smiled slightly, relieved.
"Shall we return later, Dr. Fraiser?" Teal'c asked.
"Yes, go and take a shower and get some rest." Janet replied.
"Actually," Sam said, "Can I stay?"
"If you want to, but don't expect anything out of them for a few hours." Janet said.
Teal'c bowed his head to Janet and walked out.
"Thanks, Janet." Sam said.
Janet nodded and left, laying a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder for a second before returning to Jack.
Sam pulled up a chair and sat down next to Daniel, watching his chest rise and fall gently. She didn't even bother
to talk to him, she just sat and waited.
~~~
Daniel slowly became aware of lying on his back with something sticking out of his arm.
//Am I dead?//
He opened his eyes very painfully and winced at the bright white light filling the room.
He groaned as he tried to lift his head.
"Daniel!" A voice cried.
"Sam?" He groaned.
He opened his eyes further and saw Sam frowning down at him.
"Daniel, don't try to sit up." Sam told him.
"Okay." Daniel frowned. "What happened?"
"Well..."
"Jack!" Daniel cried, sitting up and instantly regretting it. "Ouch!"
"Don't worry, Daniel. You got back through the gate."
"We did?"
Sam nodded.
"The Colonel's gonna be fine." She smiled.
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He twisted his head to the side, rather painfully. He saw Jack lying on a bed with
multiple tubes and wires sticking out of him, the heart monitor beeping and the breathing monitor rising and
falling gently.
He sighed again, only this time, sadly. At least they'd gotten out.
Sam caught Daniel's gaze and placed her hand on his gently.
"You did all you could, Daniel. You got him out." She said consolingly.
"Then why is he lying there... like that?" Daniel asked.
"You saved his life, Daniel." Sam persisted.
"Hmm." Daniel muttered and turned his head away from Sam to watch Jack once more.
Sam patted his hand lightly and stood up.
"I have to go, Daniel." She said. "If you need anything..." She left the sentence open as Daniel ignored her.
She sighed and walked out, pausing to look back at Daniel, and knew some of the guilt he would be feeling,
seeing his teammate lying unconcious in a hospital bed.
~~~
A series of images flashed through Jack's mind behind his closed eyelids. A series of pictures which he knew
meant a lot to him, but that he couldn't identify.
Eyes. Blue eyes, gazing at him. Blue eyes filled with feeling as a voice said "I can't leave him like this. I won't".
Blue eyes filled with pain as the voice said "You know that if you go, you might not be able to come back".
Eyes angry in the midst of some argument. Eyes rebuking him as the voice rambled on in some strange
explanation of something Jack could never quite grasp. Eyes warning him not to say anything stupid. Eyes
accompanied by pain, fear and noise along with the voice which he recognised as his own gasping out a
single word.
~~~
Jack groaned inwardly as he slowly regained his senses. He flexed his fingers experimentally, wondering why
they didn't obey his brain's commands. A memory of the dream he had just experienced ran through his mind and
a word flashed across his head.
"Daniel." He mumbled, choking on the tube that was down his throat. He opened his eyes slowly, blinded
by the bright lights. His fingers came back to life and he moved them, feeling them brush something warm
which moved... another person's hand.
"Jack." A voice echoed, as if someone had called him from the end of a long tunnel.
His sight came back as the bright white faded and Jack found himself looking up at the two blue eyes from his
dream, gazing worredly down at him, a frown creasing the other person's features.
"Janet!" The person called.
Footsteps hurried over to where Jack was lying and he felt the tube being removed from down his throat. He
choked momentarily before a different voice spoke,
"Don't worry, Colonel. You're in the SGC, you're gonna be fine."
Why did those words seem familiar?
"Jack, can you hear me?" The worried voice of the first person asked.
"Daniel?" Jack rasped.
The person whispered something which sounded like 'thank god'.
"It's me, Jack." The person said louder. "It's me, Daniel."
Jack tried to move, but the pain from the wire in his arm was too great.
"Daniel." Jack repeated.
The eyes were now tinged with happiness amongst the concern.
"You're okay. We got out."
Memories flooded back. Being attacked on P3X.... something, something, something.... Sam and Teal'c going
through...
"You got me out?" Jack asked.
"Uh-huh." Daniel nodded.
"Daniel, could you wait outside for a minute? I need to do some tests on Colonel O'Neill." Janet asked, walking
back over towards them.
Daniel nodded.
"I'll be outside, Jack." Daniel said, casting a final worried glance at Jack before leaving.
"Okay, Colonel, if you could follow my light..." Janet began, flicking on her torch in front of Jack's eyes.
~~~
Jack sat, propped up on pillows, bored witless, and still feeling slightly sleepy and VERY painful when Janet
finally allowed Daniel, Sam and Teal'c in (she had claimed he needed rest).
They all hurried over to him and stood around him, gazing down at him worredly.
"How're you feeling, sir?" Sam asked.
"Like someone just stuck a huge needle in me." Jack replied. "Oh wait," He glared over at Janet, "they did."
"Glad to see you back to your old self, Colonel." Janet grinned along with Daniel and Sam.
"It is good that you are feeling recovered, O'Neill." Teal'c said.
"I don't feel recovered." Jack grumbled. "I feel bored." He tried to push himself into a better sitting position with
his blood transfusion arm. "And painful. You know, if this is what dying feels like, it hurts like hell."
"Now, Colonel," Janet said while checking Jack's charts, "You aren't going to die just yet." Her face grew more
serious. "It was a close call, though. You owe it to Daniel for getting you out."
Jack turned his head and looked at Daniel's worried face framed by his hair which he had allowed to grow long
once more, his eyes no longer framed by his glasses which he had left on the table in his office.
"Thanks Daniel. I owe you a drink." Jack grinned, ignoring the niggling worry in the back of his mind as he saw
the angry bruise on Daniel's forehead.
Daniel smiled lopsidedly.
Jack held Daniel's gaze for a moment, trying to silently communicate his gratitude. Finally, he broke the look and
spoke to the others,
"Could I have a moment with Daniel?" He asked.
"Sure." Sam smiled. As she left, she touched his shoulder gently. "Good to have you back, sir."
"Thanks, Carter." Jack grinned.
Teal'c and Janet followed Sam out and Daniel stood and looked at Jack silently.
After a long pause, Jack spoke seriously,
"At the risk of sounding dumb, I was wondering something."
"What?" Daniel asked.
Jack frowned thoughtfully.
"I can't actually remember what happened. I mean, I know I got hit, but after that, I don't know..."
"You don't remember anything?" Daniel asked.
"No." Jack shook his head.
"Well..." Daniel began, but was interupted by the doors crashing open and Janet rushing over to them.
"Sorry, Daniel. I'll have to ask you to leave. SG-11 have just arrived back and I'm going to need all the space in
here."
Jack made a sarcastic noise.
"SG-11? What a suprise! What have they done to themselves this time?" He asked.
"Something about getting on the wrong side of a pool of quicksand." Janet allowed herself a brief grin.
Jack clicked his tongue sarcastically again and Daniel looked apologetically at Janet.
"I'll go." He said.
"You're gonna leave me here with a needle-happy doctor and the team from hell?!" Jack called after him. "I
thought I was meant to get better?!.... Fine! Leave!" He yelled at Daniel's retreating back.
"Don't worry," Janet reassured Daniel, "I still have plenty of sedatives I can give him."
Whether she was joking or not, Daniel wasn't sure.
~~~
To Be Continued.......
(Okay, I know - not much of a cliffhanger, but believe me, it will get better.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Janet rushed along with the trolley with Jack lying on it as he was rushed into the infirmary.
"Okay, Get a line in!" She called to the people around her.
There was a flurry of activity. The nurses ran around, carrying out Janet's orders as she hooked him up to the
monitoring equipment.
"BP 120 over 80!" One of the nurses called.
"He's lost a lot of blood." Janet told another nurse. "Go tell Hammond to phone for two of O-Neg."
The nurse nodded curtly and left. The blood was kept on the higher levels of the complex in case of an emergency
such as this. General Hammond had to ring and get the blood that was needed sent down.
"BP dropping!" The nurses called, "He's in VF!"
"Charge the paddles. 1000 joules!" Janet called back.
Sam and Teal'c had helped bring in Daniel on another trolley and were standing watching the unfolding drama.
Teal'c was unfamiliar with the medical jargon, but could pick up that what was happening wasn't good.
"Perhaps we should wait outside, Major Carter." He said to Sam who was staring at Jack as the paddles were
charged ready to shock him.
"No, Teal'c. I'm staying here." Sam said.
"Very well." Teal'c said in a voice void of emotion.
The crash trolley was wheeled over and Janet held the paddles as they buzzed with the mounting levels of
electricity.
"Clear!" She shouted.
Everyone around Jack took a step back and Janet pressed the paddles onto his chest. His body jumped and
Sam looked away. Janet turned to check the screen again. The single green line was still flat.
"Charging, 1000 joules!" She repeated. The paddles buzzed once more. "Clear!"
Everyone stepped back once more.
Janet placed the paddles on Jack's chest and he jumped once more.
There was a pause then...
"He's back!" The nurse by the screen called.
The machine began beep once again and the green line showed a definite rhythm.
"Normal synus rhythms." The nurse said.
"Great." Janet breathed, then turned to look around as she secured Jack's oxygen mask. "Where's that blood?"
She asked.
"It's on its way." A nurse replied.
Sam stood next to Teal'c watching Jack's chest rise and fall as he breathed once more. She held a trembling
hand to her mouth and felt tears of relief at the corners of her eyes. She ignored them.
Suddenly, the doors crashed open and a nurse ran in with a large box.
"I've got the blood!" She called.
"Good." Janet replied. "Get him hooked up."
The nurse held the box and Janet took out a bag of blood. She checked the type was correct and then motioned
for an IV stand to be brought nearer. She hooked the bag onto the stand.
"Get him attatched, and stop the bleeding. I'll do Daniel." She told the nurses.
The nurses nodded and returned to Jack.
Janet peeled off her gloves and grabbed a new pair, pulling them on as she hurried over to Daniel.
He was already attatched to the monitoring equipment and the machine beeped steadily. Janet checked his
blood pressure and breathing. All fine.
"Sam, Teal'c!" She called them over, noticing them standing by the door.
They hurried over and she smiled at the reassuringly.
"Daniel's fine." She told them, "He just passed out from all the excitement." She grinned. Trust Daniel. "His blood
pressure's a little high, but that's to be expected. We'll keep him on pain killers. He should wake up in a couple
of hours."
Sam nodded and Teal'c looked on impassively.
"What about Colonel O'Neill?" Sam asked.
"He'll be fine." Janet said, her grin fading. "We've got him stablised, and once he gets that blood into him I'll have
to put some stitches in the wound on his leg, but apart from that, he's great. It'll take him a long time to come
round after a knock like that, but we'll keep him sedated anyway, so he doesn't wake up too suddenly."
Sam smiled slightly, relieved.
"Shall we return later, Dr. Fraiser?" Teal'c asked.
"Yes, go and take a shower and get some rest." Janet replied.
"Actually," Sam said, "Can I stay?"
"If you want to, but don't expect anything out of them for a few hours." Janet said.
Teal'c bowed his head to Janet and walked out.
"Thanks, Janet." Sam said.
Janet nodded and left, laying a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder for a second before returning to Jack.
Sam pulled up a chair and sat down next to Daniel, watching his chest rise and fall gently. She didn't even bother
to talk to him, she just sat and waited.
~~~
Daniel slowly became aware of lying on his back with something sticking out of his arm.
//Am I dead?//
He opened his eyes very painfully and winced at the bright white light filling the room.
He groaned as he tried to lift his head.
"Daniel!" A voice cried.
"Sam?" He groaned.
He opened his eyes further and saw Sam frowning down at him.
"Daniel, don't try to sit up." Sam told him.
"Okay." Daniel frowned. "What happened?"
"Well..."
"Jack!" Daniel cried, sitting up and instantly regretting it. "Ouch!"
"Don't worry, Daniel. You got back through the gate."
"We did?"
Sam nodded.
"The Colonel's gonna be fine." She smiled.
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He twisted his head to the side, rather painfully. He saw Jack lying on a bed with
multiple tubes and wires sticking out of him, the heart monitor beeping and the breathing monitor rising and
falling gently.
He sighed again, only this time, sadly. At least they'd gotten out.
Sam caught Daniel's gaze and placed her hand on his gently.
"You did all you could, Daniel. You got him out." She said consolingly.
"Then why is he lying there... like that?" Daniel asked.
"You saved his life, Daniel." Sam persisted.
"Hmm." Daniel muttered and turned his head away from Sam to watch Jack once more.
Sam patted his hand lightly and stood up.
"I have to go, Daniel." She said. "If you need anything..." She left the sentence open as Daniel ignored her.
She sighed and walked out, pausing to look back at Daniel, and knew some of the guilt he would be feeling,
seeing his teammate lying unconcious in a hospital bed.
~~~
A series of images flashed through Jack's mind behind his closed eyelids. A series of pictures which he knew
meant a lot to him, but that he couldn't identify.
Eyes. Blue eyes, gazing at him. Blue eyes filled with feeling as a voice said "I can't leave him like this. I won't".
Blue eyes filled with pain as the voice said "You know that if you go, you might not be able to come back".
Eyes angry in the midst of some argument. Eyes rebuking him as the voice rambled on in some strange
explanation of something Jack could never quite grasp. Eyes warning him not to say anything stupid. Eyes
accompanied by pain, fear and noise along with the voice which he recognised as his own gasping out a
single word.
~~~
Jack groaned inwardly as he slowly regained his senses. He flexed his fingers experimentally, wondering why
they didn't obey his brain's commands. A memory of the dream he had just experienced ran through his mind and
a word flashed across his head.
"Daniel." He mumbled, choking on the tube that was down his throat. He opened his eyes slowly, blinded
by the bright lights. His fingers came back to life and he moved them, feeling them brush something warm
which moved... another person's hand.
"Jack." A voice echoed, as if someone had called him from the end of a long tunnel.
His sight came back as the bright white faded and Jack found himself looking up at the two blue eyes from his
dream, gazing worredly down at him, a frown creasing the other person's features.
"Janet!" The person called.
Footsteps hurried over to where Jack was lying and he felt the tube being removed from down his throat. He
choked momentarily before a different voice spoke,
"Don't worry, Colonel. You're in the SGC, you're gonna be fine."
Why did those words seem familiar?
"Jack, can you hear me?" The worried voice of the first person asked.
"Daniel?" Jack rasped.
The person whispered something which sounded like 'thank god'.
"It's me, Jack." The person said louder. "It's me, Daniel."
Jack tried to move, but the pain from the wire in his arm was too great.
"Daniel." Jack repeated.
The eyes were now tinged with happiness amongst the concern.
"You're okay. We got out."
Memories flooded back. Being attacked on P3X.... something, something, something.... Sam and Teal'c going
through...
"You got me out?" Jack asked.
"Uh-huh." Daniel nodded.
"Daniel, could you wait outside for a minute? I need to do some tests on Colonel O'Neill." Janet asked, walking
back over towards them.
Daniel nodded.
"I'll be outside, Jack." Daniel said, casting a final worried glance at Jack before leaving.
"Okay, Colonel, if you could follow my light..." Janet began, flicking on her torch in front of Jack's eyes.
~~~
Jack sat, propped up on pillows, bored witless, and still feeling slightly sleepy and VERY painful when Janet
finally allowed Daniel, Sam and Teal'c in (she had claimed he needed rest).
They all hurried over to him and stood around him, gazing down at him worredly.
"How're you feeling, sir?" Sam asked.
"Like someone just stuck a huge needle in me." Jack replied. "Oh wait," He glared over at Janet, "they did."
"Glad to see you back to your old self, Colonel." Janet grinned along with Daniel and Sam.
"It is good that you are feeling recovered, O'Neill." Teal'c said.
"I don't feel recovered." Jack grumbled. "I feel bored." He tried to push himself into a better sitting position with
his blood transfusion arm. "And painful. You know, if this is what dying feels like, it hurts like hell."
"Now, Colonel," Janet said while checking Jack's charts, "You aren't going to die just yet." Her face grew more
serious. "It was a close call, though. You owe it to Daniel for getting you out."
Jack turned his head and looked at Daniel's worried face framed by his hair which he had allowed to grow long
once more, his eyes no longer framed by his glasses which he had left on the table in his office.
"Thanks Daniel. I owe you a drink." Jack grinned, ignoring the niggling worry in the back of his mind as he saw
the angry bruise on Daniel's forehead.
Daniel smiled lopsidedly.
Jack held Daniel's gaze for a moment, trying to silently communicate his gratitude. Finally, he broke the look and
spoke to the others,
"Could I have a moment with Daniel?" He asked.
"Sure." Sam smiled. As she left, she touched his shoulder gently. "Good to have you back, sir."
"Thanks, Carter." Jack grinned.
Teal'c and Janet followed Sam out and Daniel stood and looked at Jack silently.
After a long pause, Jack spoke seriously,
"At the risk of sounding dumb, I was wondering something."
"What?" Daniel asked.
Jack frowned thoughtfully.
"I can't actually remember what happened. I mean, I know I got hit, but after that, I don't know..."
"You don't remember anything?" Daniel asked.
"No." Jack shook his head.
"Well..." Daniel began, but was interupted by the doors crashing open and Janet rushing over to them.
"Sorry, Daniel. I'll have to ask you to leave. SG-11 have just arrived back and I'm going to need all the space in
here."
Jack made a sarcastic noise.
"SG-11? What a suprise! What have they done to themselves this time?" He asked.
"Something about getting on the wrong side of a pool of quicksand." Janet allowed herself a brief grin.
Jack clicked his tongue sarcastically again and Daniel looked apologetically at Janet.
"I'll go." He said.
"You're gonna leave me here with a needle-happy doctor and the team from hell?!" Jack called after him. "I
thought I was meant to get better?!.... Fine! Leave!" He yelled at Daniel's retreating back.
"Don't worry," Janet reassured Daniel, "I still have plenty of sedatives I can give him."
Whether she was joking or not, Daniel wasn't sure.
~~~
To Be Continued.......
(Okay, I know - not much of a cliffhanger, but believe me, it will get better.)