In the silence I believe…"
- Silence by Delerium
The quiet clank of the night watchman's keys finally roused
Vincent from his sleep. Breathing in
deeply, he rolled over on his back and tentatively opened one eye while the
other remained shut, swollen, and crusted over with dried blood. Cautiously, he surveyed his
surroundings. It was quite now; the
only sounds in the abandoned lab were the retreating footsteps of the guard
down the outer corridor and the rhythmic breathing of his fellow captive. Slowly, he drew himself into a sitting
position and turned to face Aeris. She was sound asleep, curled into a ball in
the corner of the cage. Drawing in a deep breath, his eye swept down her
tranquil form. Her brown hair lay disheveled
in a mass around her, having fallen lose from its signature braid. Despite the fact that her pale pink dress
was marred with the dark brown stains of dried blood, she did not appear to be
injured badly. Relieved he sighed. As he continued to stare at the simple rise
and fall of her steady breathing he turned his attention inward.
::Funny, sitting here in this hell of a place I feel…::
He closed his
eye trying to prevent himself from venturing down a dangerous line of thought,
yet even as his eyelid fluttered shut, it seemed that the image of Aeris
remained superimposed on his vision.
::I will not
travel this road, again.
I will not think these thoughts.
I gave myself up once and I have yet to have it all
returned.::
He shifted uncomfortably in the cage and turned his head to
the ground.
::I am meant to be alone… with my memories of you,
Lucrecia.
My penance for a life lived poorly is to count as my
compatriots only the howling of the wind and the darkness of my soul.
But, there is something careless about the way you
smile…Aeris.
When you look at me you see right through me.
When you look at me I see right through myself.
When you look through me it is as though you have the
power to pardon me.
You make me feel… forgiven.
When your eyes fall gently on me I cannot see my
past. I feel like flesh and bone. I feel alive.
You make me aware of myself, as I have never been.
I want to hear nothing…
But I hear you.
Your voice calls gently to me – even when I desire nothing other that to
punish myself for the sins I have committed –
Your voice breaks
the silence
You allow
yourself to be vulnerable to me and in doing to you make me vulnerable to you.::
Sighing, Vincent lifted his bronze claw and stared at the
reflection of himself he found there.
:: I cannot forget.
I am to live in my dreams.
Live in the
memory of your eyes. Live in the memory
of your eyes as they turn to look on another, not in the memory of your eyes as
they look into my own. That memory I
will not allow myself to have… and this feeling I will not allow myself to
have.
Lucrecia, you
beckon to me from the past…
…my angel…
Aeris you ask me to look away…
I fear that is the price of falling in love.::
Vincent suddenly stood and began pacing the cage;
desperately wishing the lab had windows or something other than blank white
walls so he would not have to be alone with Aeris and his thoughts. Pain flared through his body with simple
movement and he was forced to settle back down on the floor of the cage. Defeated, he lay on his back and stared at
the ceiling. Even though he tried to
focus on the pain in his own body, white always made him think of Lucrecia and
before he knew it he was lost in thought again.
::This is ludicrous.. to feel this way, Vincent. Aeris thinks of you only as a friend, you
should count you blessings and consider her the same. To even think of her as anything more is to betray Lucrecia's
memory. Moreover, what you THINK you
feel is most likely nothing more than the product of a desperate mind. You allowed Hojo to break your body and now
you are alloing the silence to break your mind.::
He sifted uncomfortably as
a faint noise broke him from his reverie.
Again, rising to a sitting position, he tilted his head to the side and
listened. After a tense moment, he
allowed his muscles to go slack as he fell once more to floor. He had been hoping against hope that the
shrieking sound in the background would be the intruder alarm signifying the
arrival of Avalanche, but after a moment of scrutiny he recognized the sound as
Shinra's fire alarm system.
Disappointed, he returned his attention to the roof of his prison.
::It is just that she reminds me so of Lucrecia. I cannot even say how. Perhapse it is her voice, the way she carries
herself, the look in her eyes… No.
Aeris is not Lucrecia!
Lucrecia was peace, Lucrecia was silence…
Aeris is…
Stop this now there is no point to these thoughts. Her heart belongs to Cloud. You see the way she looks at him when she
thinks no one is watching. It is the same way Lucrecia always looked at
Hojo. Does he see? Does he understand
what that long sideways glance means or is he too consumed in his own thoughts,
his own goals to even notice? She is
calling to him but he cannot hear. Lucrecia
called to Hojo and he did not hear, he did not care to hear. Cloud will follow Sephiroth, dancing to
Jenova's promise of revenge and Aeris will follow until all that is left of her
is silence, having lost herself to the call.
Lost herself as Lucrecia did, but it is her choice and she is happy…::
Vincent let out a ragged breath. Slowly, he turned onto his side to face Aeris' sleeping form and
closed his eyes.
::Now I am to step aside, again, as Cloud becomes Hojo...::
***Author's Notes***
UGH!!!!! Writing
that chapter was like pulling teeth!!!!
Every time ya write Vincent ya walk a fine line between being corny and
not writing in character at ALL!!
Author shakes her head sadly I need more practice writing this
mushy stuff! Oh and I am not being repetitive in this chapter because I
suddenly forgot how to write – I was trying to be poetic….sigh. You
know… I kinda feel dirty now – comparing Cloud to Hojo – that is just WRONG! evil smile
I was going to avoid writing that chapter all together, but
you guys seemed to what it – and far be
it for me to keep ya'll from what you want!
I want to thank Rhea-Chan for the especially nice review and everybody
else who gave me feed back – especially Lord Cinemas because you reviewed me
twice!! Multiple reviews are like a
badge of honor – for not only did the reader go to all the trouble to review me
once, but a second review proves they are still reading! Oh and as always thanks to Megs and the Muse
for the edit and Kree for dragging me by the hair to the computer and forcing
me to write ^_^ ! Please give me feed
back on this… thing! I need it!!
Oh, and if anyone out there is a Resident Evil fan go check
out mi amiga Kenta Wolf's story Can't Reset!
'Tis a twisted treat!
Anyway, stay tuned because in the next chapter Avalanche
finally halls its butt to the lab! Mwhahaha!
