The Classroom: I hate cleaning
Author's Notes: Remember, Dears. Next time someone wants you to achieve something, and you just want to sit at home and watch TV, recite this little quote to them: "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Thank you. Go read now.
After I sent the letter to Harry, he and his friends were a lot nicer to me. Even nicer than they were before, which I was surprised at. I wasn't feeling waves of warm happy feelings coming off the students here.
After I sent the letter to Snape, however, he became even meaner to me. Go figure. Like I couldn't see this one coming a mile away. The very next class I had with him, I received detention in. For sneezing. He claims I distracted him. He must have ADD.
I spent my detention in his classroom, washing the desks. Easy, you say? I had to wash each one twice. With a toothbrush. He took this opportunity to rant at me, about how I was only hurting myself and annoying the others around me and blah blah blah blah....
I wasn't listening. As long as I nodded my head once in awhile, I could give the impression that I was listening. After half an hour, Snape left and locked the door behind him. I finished while he was away, and leaned against a wall. Upon leaning, I slowly slide to the ground. My throat burned and my eyes were watering. I wondered if I was allergic to something....no...I was being dumb. I was going to cry.
I put my head on my knees and took deep breaths, but it didn't work. I started sobbing. I don't know why I started crying exactly. I mean, why then and not before. I think all the stress of being so alone in this world finally got to me. No one really liked me. I didn't even know who I was, and I didn't know how to find my parents. I had nothing except what was in that old trunk in the corner.
I don't know how long I sat there crying before I sensed the presence of someone standing next to me. I didn't want to look up. I didn't want him to see my tear stained face. It was pride. I wanted to keep my pride, and what little was left of my dignity.
"Are you quite finished?" Snape asked, as my crying faded away.
I shook my head and took a shuddering breath. He was going to hate me. He looked like one of those guys who hated watching people cry, and hated the people for crying in front of them.
I don't know..I just got that sense.
I got to my feet, but I was unsteady. I felt lightheaded from all that crying I had done. So what did I grab for? A table? A chair? No. I fell into him.
I fell into him and started crying again. Now I was crying because I was embarrassed. Embarrassed to be seen like this, to be acting like this. It was ridiculous. But wasn't that really the definition of what I was?
Ridiculous. That's me. Just a ridiculous girl, with her trunk full of old clothes!
Did I mention I was bitter too?
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I clung to that poor man like there was no tomorrow. I clung to him and cried. After my tears had subsided, I began to notice other things.
Like how strong he was. People thought he was scrawny, but I could tell he wasn't. He had broad shoulders. Strong arms. Hands. He smelled good too. He was patting me on the back and saying something....wait. Snape was comforting someone?
"Yes, yes. There, there," he was saying. "Cling to the person who hates you the most."
I shoved him away, and dried my eyes.
Was that a smile I saw on his face? In his eyes?
Too late. It was gone.
"I am under the impression that you still have no where to go," he said calmly, straightening his robes. "You may sleep in front of the fireplace again."
Oh, can I?
I really hate him...
Don't I?