Bright Darkness
(Taichi's POV)
It had been years since I had seen any of the rest of the digi-destined and I was beginning to think they had forgotten me.
I made my way across the street and to the park where I remember I used to play as a child with my sister Kari.
Kari…my sweet little sister wasn't any longer little but a mature young woman, eighteen years old and already off for college to become a teacher, the thing she always wanted to be. She was already engaged but not to anyone you would think. It was a young man she had met while on a trip to visit Mimi in America. We all thought, or at least I thought my little sister was going to end up with Takeru, our own young keeper of Hope but it wasn't so. Of course my sister and T.K. were good friends, could and will probably always be able to read each other's thoughts and feelings but his heart belonged to another. Another goggle-headed freak like myself. Daisuke of course. I would have never thought but apparently it was meant to be.
Now as for the rest, I couldn't tell you. As far as I know or as far as I've heard, they've all gone their separate ways, myself included.
The only one that I could really say, made a bold and everlasting impact was Yama. He lived out his dream, taking the "Teenage Werewolves" from garage band to celebrity in the matter of a year. He was radiant, lived like the ultimate rock star, including all of the sex and drugs.
I sat down on the swing, slowly pushing myself by the tips of my toes.
Yama…that one word, that one name I'll never forget. Not ever since the accident, when he finally took things a little too far. He had so much to live for. Not just the fact that he was worth millions almost billions of dollars but because he was so talented and such a beautiful person inside and out. I miss him. It all happened a year ago. I got a phone call unexpectedly from Takeru at my apartment. I could hardly understand him, he was crying so hard until finally Daisuke had taken the phone. I'll never forget what he said…
~flashback~
"Tai…?"
"What's going on? What's wrong T.K.?" I asked concerned.
"It's Yamato." With that one short sentence, I could feel my whole heart begin to crumble to pieces.
"He's gone."
"Gone?" I said, feeling my voice go hoarse as I started to choke. Then Daisuke took the phone.
"Last night, he left a letter in his hotel room. The letter…well…"
"WELL WHAT DAISUKE!" I could hear myself yell at him as I clenched the phone in my hand.
"It was a …suicide note." Daisuke said, clearing his voice in between. As he said it, I could hear Takeru begin to sob in the background.
"Suicide…" I repeated, feeling the tears start to sting my eyes.
"Jumped off the bridge. We can't find his body." Daisuke whispered the last part. Just as he said it, I dropped the phone, sobbing.
Yama was dead. Gone forever. My best friend, the one person I felt I could trust, gone.
~end flashback~
I got up from my seat on the swing and decided that I had to finally do it. I had to go to Yamato's grave.
I had tried not thinking about it. When I went to his funeral, in what seems centuries ago, Takeru had given me a box, a small box wrapped in brown paper with my name scribed on top in Yamato's handwriting. I didn't open it and still haven't. It seems like I've been saving it. I remember him crying so hard, his eyes were red and blood shot and he didn't say anything to me, just handed me the last thing I would ever have of Yama's.
I'm staring at it now. The paper is worn from my fingers playing with it. I bring it with me wherever I go but I just haven't felt the need to open it, like's it's almost sacred. I left the park and headed to the cemetery where I would find Yama's grave.
~flashback~
"Taichi. Are you alive?"
"Yes Yama." I answered.
"I thought you dropped the phone."
"No, I'm still here, what is it that you want?"
"I have the best news in the world. You'll never believe…" I could hear the exhilaration in his voice and I smiled, knowing that he was excited and apparently joyful about something.
"Yes…"
"We got a record deal! I'm going to finally make music for the world." He said happily.
"That's wonderful Yama…just wonderful."
That's wonderful…wonderful…I just repeated, over and over and over again.
~end flashback~
I'm here, standing in front of his headstone, gripping the small package in my hand.
"Here lies our beloved Yamato, son and friend. We'll miss you." The headstone reads.
Yama…Yama was the only one other than my parents that called me Taichi. Why, I don't know. I think at one time he said that it was just appropriate to call me that. I didn't really know what he meant by that but that was just Yama's way I guess.
I shift my attention back to the package in my hand and decide it's now or never. I slowly begin to unwrap it, making sure I don't destroy what's left of the brown paper so that I might be able to keep it as another momento. Inside was a tape recorder. I stare at it, almost confused. There's a tape inside. One of those ones they use in an answering machine.
Only Yama would think of something like this before he would decide to take his life.
I turned it over in my hands over and over again. Finally, I get up the courage to press the 'play' button.
"Taichi…Taichi…it's Yama. Of course…who else would think of something this ridiculous. *laugh* Well, I can see you're wondering why the hell I did it. Why I ended it all. You know what, I was wondering the same thing at first. The truth is…I just couldn't handle it. It was all just too much…too fast. I never meant to hurt you. Of all the people that I have known in the short existence I've had on this earth, I think you understood me the most. I really did care about you and Takeru and my parents but I just couldn't go on living like this. People treated me like I was untouchable, unreachable, unobtainable. I kind of thought that's how you felt about me and I wouldn't blame you. I did it to myself. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry I've done this to you. I'm sorry for the fights and being and absentee friend. Taichi…I would understand if you would never forgive me. I don't forgive myself. Good bye."
The tape stopped and I stare at it in my hand. I can still hear his soft, musical voice resonating in my head. And now I'm sobbing, sobbing so hard that I can feel my legs give out from underneath me.
Yama…
I lay my body down on his grave, crying like an infant as I close my eyes, still clutching the tape recorder in my hand.
Yama…
(3rd person POV)
Taichi cried himself out, whimpering as he fell asleep on the cold ground where Yamato's grave was. He couldn't feel two strong arms pick him up and carry him off.
(Taichi's POV)
I open one eye and another, finding myself somewhere unrecognizable.
Last place I remembered being was at Yama's grave.
Finally, my eyes become adjusted and I can see a figure over me, masked all in black, hiding their face and body.
"Where am I?" No answer.
"Please…" I beg. The figure turns their body all the way around so I'm staring at their back. I sigh to myself, noticing I'm in a bed as I look down. I can feel myself suck in a breath, scared at what might happen.
"Please don't hurt me…" I whisper hoarsely into the darkened room. The figure turns around.
"I would never hurt you…" The voice sounds so familiar but I just can't tell. I know I'm looking in their face but the dark shroud surrounding their face makes them unrecognizable. Then the light seems to grow in the room and with it, their eyes are illuminated. Those eyes…those cerulean, azure, just those indescribable blue eyes. The long lashes are almost a dead give away but I don't want to jump to conclusions. Then I can see their starting to build with tears.
"Yama…" I whisper. As soon as I utter the word, the tears spill over making those blue irises seem clear. He doesn't say anything, simply just raises his hand and begins to uncloak himself. I recognize his thin frame, draped in a pair of black pants and a black turtleneck. Then the covering starts to unveil a shock of long, blonde hair, pulled into a loose braid that hits just below his shoulder blades but of course is wild near his face and then finally his face is uncovered. His features, much like his eyes illuminated by the light.
"Yama…" I repeat and before he can do anything, I launch myself into his arms, grabbing a hold of him and burying my face in his shoulder. He slowly wraps his arms around me and hugs me back.
"Yeah, it's me." He says and I can tell he's smiling. I let go of him and stare at him. Suddenly I realize, I either have to be hallucinating or Yama really has to be in front of me, tears sliding down his face.
"You…you were dead?" I suddenly say, staring at him again.
"Still am." He smiles and chuckles a little.
" I don't understand." I say.
"Taichi, I couldn't handle it. I can't handle it." He simply says.
"Handle what?" I ask.
"The lifestyle, not being able to be myself." Yamato answers and smiles.
"Oh." I answer. Why can't I think of something better to say?
"Yama? Why did you come back?" I find myself asking as I stare at my feet.
"You."
"Me?" I say shocked, immediately looking into Yama's eyes.
"I…I need to tell you something Taichi. This…this is very hard for me…" Yama began to stammer. All the years I've known him, I've never known him to stutter like a child.
"Yes."
"I love you." He says and looks at me.
"I love you too Man. I love Kari and my parents and Takeru and Daisuke and…"
"You…you don't understand…" He began to stammer again and suddenly put his hands on my shoulders to stop my mouth from running any more.
"I love you Taichi. I've always loved you. I…I wanted…want to be with you." Then he began to cry. I could feel my mouth drop.
He loves me…wants to be with me…
"I'm sorry." Yama says and turns and starts to walk away.
"YAMA! Yama…don't leave…please…" I say, my hand out towards him.
"I…I…" He starts to stammer again, refusing to turn around.
"Yama…I…I…"
"Forget I said anything Taichi…forget I came back…forget I exist…" He starts for the door again.
"NO! I WILL NOT YAMATO ISHIDA! I WILL NOT FORGET YOU BECAUSE I…I LOVE YOU!" I yelled. I shut my mouth as soon as I heard myself say it.
I love him…I love Yama…
Yamato immediately turned around, gold braid swinging as he stops, staring at me.
"You…you…"
"I love you Yama…I always have…I just didn't know." Without another word between us, Yama moves towards me and kisses me and I just can't help kissing him back. We finally break for air and I smile probably the biggest smile any human could do without breaking their face.
"Yama…" I ask.
"Yeah Taichi…"
"What's with the hair?" I suddenly ask.
"The hair?" He questions.
"Why did you grow it out?" I smiled, running my hands through the strands near his face.
"For you my Taichi…for you…"
PLEASE REVIEW! I love happy endings… :o)