Bittersweet
A Pokemon Fanfiction by Barb the JavaMaster
Legal DisclaimerPokemon and its related characters are copyrighted to their respective owners including Game Freak, 4Kids Entertainment, Nintendo, etc. No profit is being made from this story.
Author's NotesThe two characters Andrew and Alexandra belong to me (literally). Dr. James Berringer is also my creation.
Rating: PG for mature topics.
Text in triangular brackets denote thoughts
Text in [squared brackets] is translated Pokemon speech
Text preceded by dashes as follows --- denotes flashbacks or thoughts and words from the past
Chapter Two: "We Need to Talk""Ash, we have to talk now. Please?" Misty pleaded.
Ash was kicking off his shoes when he heard Misty's request. He looked at his wife and felt immense frustration: at her, at himself, at everything.
"Misty, I know we need to talk. Look, let's just get the kids to bed right now, okay?" Misty agreed. Misty took Alexandra to her pink-walled room and helped her put on her pink Jigglypuff pajamas. Alexandra bounded happily into bed and Misty smiled at her.
"Good night, Mommy." Alexandra said.
"Good night, sweetie. I love you."
"And I love you, and Daddy, and Pikachu…" Alexandra continued.
"Go to bed, Alex." Misty was used to this and smiled despite her weariness.
"Mommy? Will you read me a story? Please?" Alexandra batted her eyelashes in the same manner that her aunts had taught her to do when she wanted her own way.
Misty sighed. "Not tonight, honey. Daddy and I have to talk. But tomorrow, I will read whatever book you want, okay?" Misty leaned over and kissed Alexandra's forehead.
"Oh, okay." Alexandra accepted Misty's explanation and rolled over onto her side, closing her eyes. Once she was sure Alexandra was asleep, Misty went to see if Andrew was in bed yet. She stood in the doorway to Andrew's room and watched Ash sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling the Charizard comforter up to Andrew's chest.
"Get to bed, okay, Andrew?"
"Daddy, can I leave tomorrow?" Andrew asked. Ash looked puzzled.
"What?"
"On my Pokemon journey. Please? Can I leave tomorrow?" Andrew repeated. Ash smiled. Misty chuckled. This was all she and Ash had heard since Andrew turned five. Three more years of this, she thought.
"No, Andrew, you're only seven," Ash held up seven fingers. "And you have to be ten years old," Ash held up all his fingers, "before you can get a Pokemon license. Okay? Now go to bed."
"Aw, man," Andrew said. He rolled over and was soon asleep. Ash stood up and saw Misty standing in the doorway, smiling. Andrew is so much like Ash it's scary, Misty thought. Ash frowned, as did Misty. The cold, chilling feeling she'd had in the car was washing over her again. Misty cleared her throat and spoke softly as Ash turned off Andrew's bedroom lamp.
"So, Ash, can we talk now?"
"I guess."
They retreated to their bedroom down the hall from Andrew's room. Misty sat on the edge of the bed. Ash stood in front of her warily.
"What's going on, Ash? What is it?" Misty said.
"Misty, I told you how I felt. Nothing's going on, really—" Ash trailed off as he felt his entire body tense.
"Don't tell me nothing's going on. You cannot tell me that you don't love me anymore and WALK AWAY!" Misty's voice became louder than she'd intended.
Ash silenced her with a look. "Don't wake the kids, Mist."
It had been a while since he had called her 'Mist'; the first time she'd heard him say this, she thought he was being sarcastic as usual. It took a few seconds for her brain to register that Ash was giving her a nickname, a pet name, and that she should take this as a sign of affection. Misty felt tears clouding her vision.
"What's wrong, Ash? Can you at least tell me that?"
"I think that—um—that is, I…." Ash's voice was low and filled with uncertainty. "I think we've grown apart, Misty. I mean, I am the Pokemon Master and I have a lot of responsibilities to deal with every single day, Misty…"
"And I have told you repeatedly, Ash, to delegate those responsibilities so you can spend more time with your family, haven't I?" Misty heard the sarcasm in her voice and was suddenly ashamed.
"I have tried, Misty, but sometimes I'm the only person who can handle the job, you know? You work at the Pokemon Centre with Nurse Joy in Pallet Town all day. You're gone all day, too."
"Yes, but I'm home by six each night. I don't work overtime, Ash."
Angrily, Ash responded, "Unless you're surfing the 'net all night like you have been for the past few nights."
Misty sighed loudly. "Ash, I am not 'surfing the net.' Joy simply asked me to find some information for her online and I did. That's all. I am not going into chat rooms or anything else like that. Besides, you have spent far more time on our computer than I ever have. You and your stupid role-playing games! Most nights, you go on the computer right after dinner and I don't hear a word from you until midnight--or later!"
"Misty, I need some down time, don't I? Those 'stupid games' as you call them, help me relax after a long day at the Gym. And they have helped make me a better Trainer and Master."
"Are Pokemon all you care about, Ash?"
"Of course not." Ash sighed and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. "I do care about you and the kids, too." Ash stepped backwards and almost tripped over a small duffel bag which Misty recognized as the grey duffel bag that Ash had bought on their honeymoon in the Orange Islands almost 10 years ago. But instead of being in the closet it was on the floor, fully packed, along with a blue suitcase and a garment bag containing Ash's two good business suits. Misty hadn't noticed this before. She looked around, disbelieving her eyes.
"What is this? I don't suppose you're taking me on a second honeymoon, Ash?" Misty said in a strangled breath. She was trying hard to regulate the anger and helplessness she felt inside.
"Misty—I'm going to stay with my mother for a few days. I just need to get things sorted out in my head, okay? Maybe this will help both of us—to clear our heads, or something. And my mother's taking the kids this weekend anyhow, remember?" Ash shuffled his feet, not looking at Misty.
The thought of staying in their house alone for two or more days hit Misty like an explosion. Loneliness had been her worst enemy since childhood and now Ash was leaving her, leaving their marriage, and taking the kids with him.
"I'm so sorry." It took Misty a moment to realize she had spoken those words. Crying, she stood to face her husband, whose own eyes were filled with tears. Ash wiped his nose absentmindedly.
"When—are you leaving?" Misty asked as calmly as she could under the circumstances.
"Friday night, after I get home from the Gym. My mom will keep Andrew and Alexandra over the weekend, and you can pick them up Monday evening on your way home from the Pokemon Center."
"What about you?" Misty whispered.
"I—I don't know when I'll come back, Misty. I really need some time to sort things out, okay?" Misty drew Ash closer and hugged him as hard as she could. He held her tightly.
"Do you want to work things out?" Misty asked tenderly.
The answer shook Misty to her core: "I don't know."
Friday came all too soon for Misty who had spent the better part of the week in a haze of jumbled emotions. She had been so distracted at work that she had accidently dropped an injured Oddish on the floor, causing further damage. Joy hadn't really rebuked her, but only said that Misty should take a short break. Misty agreed and went into the kitchenette and stayed for a full ten minutes, letting the tears flow freely, before attempting to make herself presentable for work. Her studies for her doctorate in Pokemon medicine were becoming seriously neglected; she had an examination coming up in the next few weeks and wasn't anywhere near prepared. But could she really expect to prepare herself, to study, with her world ending right now? Misty shook her head, pushing the thoughts from her mind. She concentrated on her job until five o'clock came, which it did with amazing speed.
"Kids, are you ready to go?" Ash called to Andrew and Alexandra, who were currently running about the house looking in the usual hiding places for their shoes.
"Daddy, are you coming to Grandma's, too?" Andrew asked hopefully. The possibility of battling Dad and being allowed to win again loomed over Andrew's head like a rainbow.
"Yes. I'll be staying at Grandma's for a couple of days, Andrew." Ash replied. Andrew looked surprised for a second. Misty turned away and helped Alexandra put on her shoes. A couple of days, and then what: happily ever after? It can't be that easy, Misty thought. They loaded the kids into Ash's Toyota Camry. The penetrating cold that Misty felt was still inside of her, but now seemed to be spreading outwards, covering the space where she and Ash stood facing each other like opponents rather than mates.
"Have a good time, kids," Misty said with forced cheerfulness.
"We will," two voices chorused.
"Ash, I…" Misty was at a loss for words, a rare occasion. The words formed in her mind very clearly, ready to be spoken, but her mouth and larynx would not cooperate. Misty looked at the ground and then at Ash, who was studying the car's detail work closely.
"Are you okay?" Ash asked.
Misty was astonished. The man whom she loved and whom she was sure loved her back was asking if she was okay. Those three simple words had been spoken many times between them, in dire and even life-threatening situations, but Misty had never felt as helpless as she did in that moment.
"How can I be okay, Ash? What do you think?" Misty said, thoroughly disheartened.
"Look, we've got to get going. We'll talk, Misty. I promise." Ash got into his car and drove away without waving goodbye. Andrew and Alexandra waved and blew kisses to Misty who returned them with a smile that from a distance might seem genuine.
As she walked back into her now totally empty house, Misty decided it was time for bed. Although it was only early evening, she simply could not concentrate or focus her energies on anything. She wanted to sleep, to rest, to give her roiling emotions a chance to calm down. Misty walked to her, no to their, bedroom and took off her shoes. She opened the closet door and was greeted by some of Ash's clothes hanging neatly next to her own. Absently dropping her shoes on the floor, she reached out and stroked one of Ash's cotton polo shirts. She brought it close to her face and thought that she could still detect some of his cologne on the fabric. And that is when she fell to the ground, weeping, clutching Ash's shirt to her chest as though it were a life preserver and she a drowning victim.
When Misty drove to Delia Ketchum's house on Monday evening, she found everyone outside in Delia's yard playing with Togepi and Mr. Mime. Alexandra noticed Misty first and came running to greet her.
"Mommy!" Alexandra yelled. Misty parked her Land Rover and got out, sweeping Alexandra into her arms.
"Hey, sweetie. How was your visit to Grandma's?"
"Good. She got us new toys, wanna see?" Alexandra tugged on Misty's arm. Ah, something else for me to trip on, Misty thought. Delia was doing her grandmotherly duty by spoiling the kids rotten. "Delia, how are you?" Misty asked, seeing her surrogate mother walking towards her.
"Fine, Misty, and how are you holding up?" Delia hugged Misty. Misty looked puzzled for a minute, then remembered that Ash was—well, home, now.
"I don't know, Delia. I wish I could say I feel fine, but I don't."
"Want to come inside for a few minutes?" Delia asked kindly.
"I'd love to." As much as Misty might have wanted to pound Ash with her trusty mallet, she couldn't feel anything but love for Delia, who had pretty much adopted Misty as her own. While the kids re-packed their overnight bags at Delia's command, she and Misty sat down at the kitchen table. Misty remembered how she'd felt first admitting to Delia that she loved Ash while sitting at this very table. Delia placed a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of Misty, who wrapped her hands around the mug, seeking warmth. Since Misty had hardly eaten all day, she couldn't refuse Delia's home-baked chocolate chip cookies. Delia sat down with her own coffee and looked at the distressed woman seated in her home.
"Ash and I have talked a little, Misty. I don't know all the details, and quite frankly, I don't want to know. But Ash did tell me that you two were having a hard time. I told Ash that he could stay here for a while, but I know he belongs with you."
"Delia," Misty began, "Ash told me that he doesn't love me anymore." Misty took a breath before she began crying softly. "What have I done wrong?"
Delia extended her hand and took Misty's in her own. "I don't think you have done anything wrong, Misty. You and Ash must continue working as a team. I have seen you both work together in Pokemon training and battling, and you complement each other very well. You just have to apply that same thinking to your marriage."
Misty nibbled on her cookie while Delia continued speaking; now she was giving a description of the kids' weekend activities. A long time ago, someone—maybe Brock—said that Ash and I made a good team. That our Pokemon worked well together. Why can't Ash and I work together as husband and wife?
"Misty?" Delia's voice snapped Misty back to reality. Misty unconsciously straightened in her chair as though she were a child being disciplined by a parent.
"I know it's none of my business, but have you or Ash considered counseling?"
"Counseling? You mean psychiatry?" Misty asked.
"No, I mean marriage counseling." Delia noticed Misty's raised eyebrows and smiled. "Look, I can sit here and give advice all day, but as Ash is my son, I don't think I'd be able to give you an objective viewpoint, which is what I think you both need."
"I think you're right, Delia. But I don't know how Ash will feel. He gets very introspective sometimes, and can be hard to read."
Delia laughed. "Ash is an only child, Misty. Only children tend to keep to themselves a lot. I will ask Ash tonight, if you like, and have him make an appointment. He is the one who instigated the separation. Is that okay with you?"
Misty hugged Delia tightly. "Anything you do is fine with me, Delia. Thank you."
"I love you both, Misty. Please remember that. No matter what happens." Misty shuddered involuntarily at Delia's comment, making Delia hug her more tightly.
I know, Delia. Believe me, I know." Misty held onto Delia for a second more before turning to the living room and her two video game-obsessed children, who appeared transfixed by the action on the screen.
"Are you kids ready to go?" Misty asked, already knowing the answer she would receive.
"No!" Both replied.
"Oh, let them play a few minutes longer. They haven't been inside too much today. Want to order a pizza for dinner?"
"Yeah!" Two voices replied from the living room. Misty laughed.
"Have you eaten dinner yet, Misty?"
"No. Pizza's fine with me."
As Delia went to look up the phone number of the Pallet Pizza Palace, Misty walked behind the children and watched them play. Andrew had inherited Ash's intense gaze when battling; he blocked everything else out, and just concentrated on the battle at hand. The doorknob turned noisily and Misty looked over her shoulder to see Ash walking in.
Their eyes met for a brief moment. "I thought you were taking the kids home, Misty."
"I'm staying for dinner, Ash, if that's okay." Misty said evenly.
"Um, yeah, I guess so. It's mom's house, after all. How are the kids doing?" Ash seemed to fumble with his words when talking to Misty, something he had not done since they were young teens and he had first admitted he had a crush on her.
"See for yourself. They're in the den." Misty stepped aside as Ash walked past her. Misty decided that she missed the usual kiss he gave her when he first came home.
"Andrew, Alex, how are you guys? Is everything okay?" Ash noticed that Alexandra was bouncing Togepi up and down on her lap and the little egg looked vaguely nauseated. "Uh, Alexandra, be careful with Togepi, okay?"
Alexandra nodded absently and kept bouncing the little Egg Pokemon, but more lightly. "Toki-toki-priiii!" [I am going to throw up on this kid right now!]
"Pi-pi-pi-pika-chu-pika." [Togepi, this is why they make humans grow up before becoming trainers] Pikachu said, rubbing against Alexandra's leg. The static charge Pikachu had built up made her move quickly. Togepi saw his chance and escaped to the safety of Misty, his 'mommy.'
"We're ordering pizza, Ash, if that's okay with you." Delia said from the kitchen, where she had nearly tripped over Mr. Mime, who was washing the dishes Misty and Delia had just placed in the sink not five minutes ago. As Delia turned her back to the couple in the den, a long, uncomfortable silence enveloped the house. Ash managed a half-smile but Misty only looked at her shoes and cradled Togepi. There was much to be said, but the words were so difficult, and the silence however unbearable, was the safer alternative.
"Ash, your mother mentioned something to me today. I think we should consider it. She suggested that you and I go for counseling."
"Counseling? Marriage counseling?" Ash asked in surprise. My parents are divorced, he thought bitterly, and counseling certainly didn't help them any. But if Misty wants to….
"Yes, Ash," Misty said as she placed Togepi back in Alexandra's outstretched arms, ignoring the little egg's cries. She took Ash's hands in her own and continued, "I love you. I always have and probably always will. But I just don't understand you lately. You seem, well, distracted, with work and all. You haven't been eating or sleeping well. Is this part of it? Are you getting burned out?"
"No. I don't think I'm getting burned out." Ash let go of Misty's hands. I haven't been the Pokemon Master that long, and she thinks I can't handle it. "I honestly don't know why I feel this way. I really don't, Misty." Ash looked so helpless that Misty wanted to hug him.
Misty tried again. "Please just tell me how you feel, Ash."
"I can't!" Ash's voice reverberated loudly through the house. Andrew and Alexandra whirled around in surprise. Even Togepi looked shocked at 'daddy' speaking to 'mommy' in that way.
"Daddy? Why are you yelling at Mommy?" Andrew asked. Misty and Ash turned to their children and felt ashamed.
"Daddy's not—yelling at anybody, Andrew. I'm not yelling at Mommy." Ash ran his fingers through his hair. I'm yelling at myself.
Delia, having heard the commotion, wandered into the den with some hesitation. "Ash? Is anything wrong?"
"No, Mom. Nothing's wrong." Lying to his mother had never been one of Ash's skills and Delia saw the stricken looks on everyone's faces. "Look, I'm really tired. I'm going to lay down for a while. Just save me a slice of pizza, and I'll eat later." Ash slowly climbed the stairs to his childhood bedroom, with a stunned Misty watching as he faded from view. Delia rescued Togepi from Alexandra's clutches and slipped an arm around Misty's shoulder.
Misty blinked. "Delia? You mentioned marriage counseling?"
"Yes?"
"Okay. Believe it or not, marriage counseling is covered under the health insurance plan provided by the League. I'll get a list of therapists from Joy and make the appointment myself." Delia saw tears in Misty's eyes and, she thought, in Togepi's as well. But Misty for the first time in weeks felt something inside her that wasn't coldness or loneliness—she felt warmth, and with it came hope.
To be continued….