areasontolive2


Disclaimer: Evangelion belongs to Gainax. This story belongs to me. Don't sue, please.

Author's notes:
Sorry this chapter took so long to come out. Also, this might be pretty dark for a while. Like I said, It's based on personal experience, and my personal experience is far from peachy. I have no Idea how this will end, and so it might get happier, or more angst-filled, depending. Thanks to all those who reviewed! Keep them coming, and hope you enjoy chapter 2!
(2) I'd like to have chapters of about this length come out every few days, so that's what I'm going for. This might be sort of wishful thinking, so expect a new chapter every week.
(3) Yes, I know this pairing has been done a lot. But I think that I can possibly do something different with this genre, as, like I've mentioned too many times, I'm trying to put some of myself into Shinji.
mmm k, I think that's enough author's notes.
(4) The chapters will probably fluctuate in length, but will probably stay around the 1000 word mark.

mmm k, I think that's enough author's notes.

Key: Brackets []' are what the character is thinking. This will usually be Shinji.

Any comments, suggestions, questions, or hate mail please write to johnny5@altavista.net.

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A Reason to Live

Chapter 2

By Johnny 05


Rain was falling heavily as Shinji walked to school. Those who saw his slow, steady pace would have thought him to be depressed, yet this was not the case. He was more... puzzled. It had been a day since his accidental visit to Rei's apartment district, one that intensely confused him. Thoughts of her had troubled him all day, much to the chagrin of Asuka and his friends, who had no idea what was wrong.
[What is Rei to me?] Shinji thought. [She seems so different from other girls her age. I just don't know what to make of her... of what I feel for her. And why on earth did I walk to her apartment yesterday?] Agh, this is so complicated, he said to himself, words muffled by the sound of the rain. Why can't things be like they were before, like when I was staying at my uncle's place? He wondered aloud. But deep inside, he knew his words were empty. He was better off here. [At my uncle's I was just existing. Going through the motions of living, without doing anything worthwhile. Here people count on me. I have friends. Family...sort of. Even if I sometimes hate it, my life does have some meaning.] That thought was oddly reassuring.
He soon arrived, soaking because of his lack of an umbrella. Making his way down the crowded, gray halls, Shinji felt like there was a heavy weight on his shoulders. A feeling he couldn't rid himself of.

Yo, Shinji! Toji called enthusiastically from across the room, as Shinji walked slowly into the classroom. Kensuke, who was sitting next to him, gave a little wave, and smiled at his approaching friend.
Hi guys, Shinji replied quietly, making his way past chatting classmates and over to his desk.
Kensuke looked puzzled. What's wrong, Shinji? he asked. Something gotcha down?
Yeah, Ikari, Toji followed up, his look of confusion and concern mirroring Kensuke's. What's wrong?
I but he's trying to figure out a good way to put the moves on Asuka, eh Toji, Kensuke said, grinning at his two friends.
Shinji, you sly dog! Toji laughed. Although I still don't see what you see in.... He stopped in mid-sentance, as he could sight of the icy glare a redhead was shooting at him from across the classroom.
Shinji blushed bright red. You...that's not it at all! I just...
So, who is it? Toji interrupted. The problem *is* a girl, right? He said, smiling at the comfortable look on Shinji's face. So, who is it? Ayanami, maybe?
Shinji's blush deepened, if that was possible.
Lucky for Shinji, the elderly teacher chose that moment to enter the classroom, saving him from any further embarrassment. Taking a seat at his desk, the gray haired sensei arranged his notes and began his lecture on the Second Impact.
Once he had figured out that it was only necessary to listen to one of the tedious lectures a week, class had been much more enjoyable. He had some time to collect his thoughts, but he wasn't alone, the time when he least wanted to think, lest his mind wander to all that was wrong with his world.
[This is much easier then having to answer to Kensuke and Toji,] he thought, and punctuated it with a contented sigh, as he rested his head in his hands.
After a few minutes of staring blankly, Shinji turned his head slightly [don't be too obvious, or she'll notice for sure] and gazed thoughtfully at Rei. He took in her beauty, not for the first time, as she gazed out the window, looking like he was sure he had a few moments ago. As he looked upon the soft contours of her face, her deep red eyes, and unkempt blue locks, Shinji tried to sort out all he felt for her. [I know I feel drawn to her, but why? I guess... she just seems so alone. Not that I'm any better. Maybe we could find out what life has to offer....together?] He blushed and turned away. [Where did that come from? Do I really want to? Maybe I should talk to her about it.] He shook his head in response to his own thought. [I'm still not sure how to talk to her at all, let alone about something like that. But.... I should tell her.] Images of doubt flashed through his mind. [What if she doesn't even know what I'm talking about? What if she hates me? Not that I don't deserve it...] He mentally kicked himself, as he recalled the time he had dropped off her ID card. [It's not enough that you saw her naked, is it? You had to *fall* on her. I'm not sure I can face her after that...] Suddenly, a thought came to him. [Why not write her a letter? I mean....it could still turn out badly, and knowing me, it probably will, but at least I don't have to directly talk to her. But what do I write?] He quietly pondered this issue until the lunch bell rang, jarring him back to reality.
All throughout the lunch hour, Shinji remained quiet, much to the bewilderment of his friends. Not even the jokes and inquiries about the identity of the lucky lady got a response. Before long, lunch was over, and the children filed back into the classroom.
Shinji settled into his seat with a contented sigh. He had figured out the gist of the letter, and was feeling slightly more confidant with his chances. [Now all I have to do is write it.] But doubt was still heavy in his heart. [I know this isn't going to work.] He thought dejectedly. [But I have to try.] This line of thought, this small inner battle, continued until the clanging of the bell finally stopped the teacher's droning. Picking up his school bag, and shooting a final glance at Rei, Shinji quietly slipped out of the class. He moved quickly down the hall, trying to avoid being seen by Asuka, or any of his friends. He had no time for distractions, and even less to explain why he was hurrying.
Breathing a sigh of relief as he left the aging school building, Shinji set off down the streets of Tokyo-3, the letter he was going to write fresh on his mind. The rain had stopped during the school day, and the sun was shining, both of which slightly lifted Shinji's spirits. It was about 5:30 when Shinji finally reached his destination: a small park he had passed on the way to Rei's apartment. Finding an unoccupied bench, he sat down, removed a sheet of paper from his school bag, and began to write.
[Well,] he thought nervously dropped the sealed and stamped letter into nearby mailbox. [Now all I can do is wait.]


End of Chapter 2

Afterward
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Well, that was chapter 2. Hope you liked it! This one was a bit longer, only because that was the point I wanted the story to get to. Sorry about the cliffhanger (sorta) ending. If you could please tell me about any gaping errors that really bother you, I'd be glad to fix them.
Thanks for reading
Johnny 05