Resistance Headquarters
Conference Room
2:43 pm
* * * * * *
We will now discuss in a little more detail the
struggle for existence.-- Charles Darwin
* * * * * *
Mulder needed to get up and walk around. To get out. To think about
anything else. Unconsciously his mind began to escape and wander the
halls back to when he'd been lying there, afterward, with a sleeping
Scully curled up next to him, there'd been two thoughts that had run
through his head. The first had been "Finally. Finally it happened,
and the world didn't end." His next thought immediately following that
one had come from his self-mocking side. "No the world didn't end, but
it looks like that is where it's heading. Way to wait until the last
minute, dumbass."
But at that moment, that second thought didn't hold much weight. Holding
a warm soft naked Scully in his arms could do that. He had even briefly
chuckled at the idea, until his movement threatened to wake her. It just
seemed so damn typical for them. As if they could do anything simply. Of
course the world as they knew it would have to just have been turned
completely around and with the promise of it being completely destroyed
just around the corner. Of course, typical.
But now, sitting back in the damn conference room, everyone discussing
her hand over to the aliens, those words lost any humor they may have
once had. The arms of their chairs separated him from Scully and the
pale hand in his was a poor substitute for the complete length of her
pressed against him. "The end of the world was right, the end of my
world." Mulder's free hand bit into the arm of his chair and he
swallowed down a hot surge of bile. He spoke, finally finding the words.
"And what will this serve? Her hand over to them?" Mulder asked.
Dagen leaned forward. "Access. We need to have access. We have a vaccine
we can use against them."
Scully furrowed her forehead slightly. "It was our understanding that
the vaccine works on the oil, not on the person. How will this
incapacitate them?"
Allen answered. "I gave myself the vaccine; this was how I came to be
free from its influence. Before they discovered my nature I was able to
inject others. Those who had been infected more recently- and by
recently I'm including myself even though that was 800 years ago-
suffered no major consequences. However, the others, the originals, did
not survive. With the destruction of the oil came their own death. The
treatment works by selectively binding with and destroying specific
segments of the oil. The aliens have been with the oil for so long that
these segments have been fully incorporated into their genetic makeup;
the oil is literally a part of them."
"What about those who, like yourself, aren't killed? Will they be a
threat?" Mulder asked.
Allen shook his head. "At first I was worried. Worried that I was being
presumptuous somehow. That they wouldn't want this, but I was wrong." He
smiled slightly. "The moment that they felt the fog lift and their
choices returned, they celebrated, as if..." Allen could not seem to
find the right words.
"As if something was returned to them that they'd forgotten they owned."
Scully added thoughtfully, finishing for him.
Allen's smile grew with her words. "Exactly." Scully met his smile,
returning one of her own.
For some reason this exchange brought up a surge of jealousy within
Mulder. "So, what- she'll just start randomly injecting as many of them
as she can? This isn't much of a plan." Mulder said sharply,
unconvinced. "Yeah, poke holes Mulder, poke as many damn holes in the
plan as possible."
Allen wasn't deterred by Mulder's words. "No it isn't like that. It's
not as if we're going to turn her over with half a dozen syringes and
several vials of vaccine."
"Then how are we going to give them the vaccine?" Scully asked, in a
tone considerably less sharp than Mulder's had been.
Allen answered. "We've altered the vaccine. We studied it and how it
effects the oil and were able to recreate the effects in another form.
The form that it is in now... well, the best way to describe it is that
it's like a virus. We will *infect* Scully with this *virus* and her
contact with the aliens will pass it to them, much like how the cold
virus is passed in humans. There should be no effect on her. She's not
infected with the oil and she's already been exposed to the vaccine
before without any dire consequences."
"No one else can do this? It's not as if this requires her to actually
*do* anything. It sounds as if all you need her for is as a carrier."
Mulder said with diminishing patience. "Damn it!" He wanted to yell.
"If you want her to risk her life, for god sakes let her actually do
something."
She glanced over at him. Mulder sensed the motion and turned. He didn't
know what to expect when he met her eyes. Maybe irritation, frustration
over his selfish and immature behavior. Maybe surprise at his lack of
willingness to understand, or to help.
But he didn't see any of that. Instead he simply saw understanding in
her expression. And then he heard her. "I'm scared too, Mulder."
"I'm sorry," he softly murmured under his breath. And he was.
Mulder noticed that when he turned away from Scully and back to the men
sitting across the table that Dagen was staring at the both of them,
looking from one to the other, sensing that something had passed between
them, but unable to discern what it was.
Allen did not have the same expression. He was waiting for them to
finish before he responded to Mulder's comments. "They're expecting
her." Allen said simply, stating the obvious. "Her presence on the ship
will not be questioned. She also has the mental discipline necessary to
guard her thoughts from them."
Mulder quietly pushed a long breath from his lungs. "And her chances?"
"Unfortunately, there is a very small window that we have to work with.
The vaccine's action should take no more than six hours to infect the
majority of the aliens, however..." this time there was a very large
pause, a very large 'however,' and Mulder dreaded hearing the rest. "The
six hours maybe too long; we may not be safe." Off of Scully's uplifted
eyebrow, Allen explained further. "Her hand over to them signifies that
what they've been working for all of these years as been realized.
Invasion will begin."
Dagen spoke up haltingly. "And... and they may... test her. Do some
tests on her. And they're likely to try to infect her, to fully
integrate her to them."
"What? Mulder snapped, and then reined his temper in, and repeated it
more softly. "What are you saying? Are you saying that she'll become
reinfected?"
Allen gave his head a small shake. "No, that's not possible. First,
she's already been inoculated; second, even if she could become
infected, with the virus within her, she wouldn't be infected long."
Mulder's mind acted like a steel trap that had just been tripped. "But
they can't find out she is uninfected."
"Correct." Allen said with a nod and a sigh. "If they did, she would be
of no use to them alive. They would likely kill her, and salvage what
ever genetic material they could from her."
Salvage. Lovely word. Mulder tried his best to not think about just what
that would entail.
"I know that the plan seems... well, incomplete, but we hadn't planned
on acting this soon. We all believed we had several years left." Allen
glanced toward Dagen sitting beside him. Dagen was looking down at his
hands. His fingers worried away at a hangnail and avoided everyone's
eyes.
Allen looked down briefly, before finding Mulder's, then Scully's eyes.
"Look, I'm not going to lie to you here, it's a possibility that she
will fail, that the whole plan will fail... This has always been an all
or nothing situation... I'm afraid... I'm afraid that there aren't many
alternatives available."
"But what are those alternatives? What if this doesn't work? What is the
fall back plan? Is there even one?"
"If this fails, and invasion begins, we would begin fighting them; to
defend ourselves, as well as prevent invasion."
"Would we be successful? Do you think that we can fight them?"
"Mulder, if I believed that we could stop them by fighting them, we
would have already acted."
Mulder nodded, understanding; wishing he didn't. His hand was firmly
intertwined with Scully's and he gently rubbed his thumb against her
index finger, and waited for her to speak.
"What will you do if I choose not to help you?"
Allen paused, giving her question full weight. "We will not make you, we
can't. But you have to understand that they will find you. You could
hide for a while, maybe, but death would be your only true escape. And
while they look for you, they would find the research and make
another."
"And Armageddon would begin." Scully finished quietly. She had made her
choice, one that Mulder had known she would take all along. He closed
his eyes to her next words. Words that he knew must be said, yet would
be the most painful that he would ever have to hear.
She raised her head, drew in a deep breath and released it. Her eyes
flashed and her voice was firm, full of conviction. "Ok then, let's do
this."
* * * * * *
Skyland Mountain
Virginia
5:56 pm
Scully anxiously shifted on her feet. She looked at Allen beside her, in
the form of Krycek, holding his gun even with her, completing the
illusion. He seemed undisturbed by the cold wind that blew through the
trees and through, it seemed, herself.
"Are you sure we can't wait in the car?" she asked, looking perhaps a
little too longingly at the car at the foot of the hill.
"Sorry. The instructions were very specific."
The instructions. Back on Skyland Mountain. Ahhh, the memories... or, in
her case, lack of memories. Maybe later she and Mulder could look into
why this place had so much appeal.
If they had a later.
Lightning lit up the sky, interrupting her thoughts. She counted softly
to herself, "One, one thousand, two one thousand, three-" The crash of
thunder cut her off. Close, very close. But still no rain.
"How much longer?" She asked.
"Any minute."
"Will this work?" Scully wasn't sure why she asked. Allen had already
explained everything; she already knew her chances. Perhaps she was
looking for some reassurance.
To bad Allen couldn't give any.
"It has to." He said simply.
The words had barely passed his lips when a blinding light illuminated
the dark night sky again. For a second, she thought it was another bolt
of lightning, but it lasted too long.
Time slowed, the world narrowing only to that moment. She shielded her
eyes with her hands and she half turned away from the source.
That was the last thing she remembered.
* * * * * *
Resistance Headquarters
Conference Room
8:21 pm
Scattered across the tabletop were manila folders filled with papers and
the numerous photographs that had been compiled for them. Mulder had
been sifting through the stack, not really seeing any of it, ever since
Scully had left with Allen hours earlier.
The looming anguish of his memories was a dark stain spread over his
heart. He felt empty except for an overwhelming sadness, a heaviness
inside him as if he could hardly carry his own weight. As he sat there
restlessly fingering through the evidence, his mind played back their
good-bye. He didn't want to think about it, but his mind kept replaying
the scene over and over.
As what was typical for them, the actual word 'good-bye' was never
spoken.
Allen had waited patiently for her in the car, and she had stood with
Mulder just outside the doorway. A storm was coming, the dark clouds
creating an artificial dusk. Scully had looked up to the sky, and he had
followed her gaze. The clouds were bruised and heavy, but not yet ready
to let go of their rain.
The wind caught a lock of her hair and danced with it next to her face.
He brought his hand up, and taking the smooth strands between his
fingertips, tucked them carefully behind her ear.
Words had escaped him. Scully seemed to have the same difficulty as he,
because she too didn't speak. So they had just stood there, silently
regarding the other like a couple of teenagers at the end of a date,
unsure of what the right words would be.
Unable to say good-bye.
The longer that they had stood there, the more conscious Mulder became
of the time ticking by, the time that was being lost. He had thought
then, at that instant, of all of the other moments that had been lost
because neither of them had the courage to be the first to move.
He pulled her to him, holding her tightly against his body. He'd buried
his nose into her hair, memorizing her scent. "Don't say it Mulder,
don't even think it. This isn't good-bye."
As they parted he could see the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes
before she turned away from him and toward the waiting car.
"Scully." He said her name in a choked voice. He didn't have anything to
say, but he couldn't let her leave with out saying something, anything.
His lips moved around her name again but no sound came out.
She turned back to him, and on a sudden impulse he placed a hand on the
back of her neck and pulled her head to his and kissed her. It wasn't a
kiss of passion, desperation, or even need. No, it was simply a
connection, and the only way Mulder could find to say what he had needed
to say.
She was the first to pull away; he hadn't wanted to let her go. He had
to make her understand. Scully caught his eyes and read his unspoken
question. She smiled and brought her hand up to run her palm against his
cheek. For the longest time she simply stared into his eyes.
Mulder watched her face. He had the sense that the whole world turning
on its axis was waiting for her answer to his unspoken question. Did she
know?
Her smile was almost sad (had there been regret he saw in her eyes?)
when she said "I know Mulder." Her tears escaped then. Before she turned
away completely, he heard her in his head, "I always knew."
She had let go of him then, and half ran to the waiting vehicle. He
hadn't watched as they drove off.
He'd headed back inside, back to the conference room and there he had
remained, alone except for his thoughts.
His damn thoughts.
She always knew. And what had he done in all of those years? Not a
fucking thing.
He didn't want to think about the time that had been lost, the 'might
have been's, the 'should of's. He didn't want to think about the
possibility that that is all they would ever have.
And it wasn't as if he'd had an overnight epiphany, or it was just the
situation that had brought this out. It was simply the crystallization
of years of thought, of hesitation, of uncertainty. Because the simple
fact of the matter was that for years he had known exactly what he
wanted and precisely who he wanted to be with. Scully. The single word
was all of the answers to the questions he asked. She was the sum of all
he wanted and needed.
Oh, he had most definitely been Hamlet, standing there for years and
wondering, prevarication, trying to come to a decision and not sure what
direction to take. All of that wasted time...Nothing less than the end
of the world had been required for him to act.
And now it was too late. Too goddamn late.
"And yet, as martyrs, our burdens must be borne."
"Fuck that! Fuck that to hell!" He said into the empty room. He stood up
from his chair and swept off the stacks of papers.
His fury left as quickly as it had came. He watched as the white sheets
fluttered to the ground.
The unexpected the knock at the door sounded like a cannon blast in the
silent room. Without waiting for a response Allen opened the door.
"You're back" Mulder stated the obvious, not looking for an answer.
"She's with them now."
Allen glanced to the floor and the papers strewn across it.
"Redecorating? Can I help?" Pausing, he took a deep cleansing breath
and continued. "Come with me. You shouldn't be alone now." The tone was
cool, rational, allowing for no compromise or misinterpretation.
It reminded Mulder of Scully, and that was the only reason he allowed
Allen to lead him out of the room.
* * * * * *
Alien Ship
For a long time Scully just lay on the tabletop and listened to her
heart as it methodically pounded a wooden stake into her head. It was
one of those awakenings that when she first regained consciousness she
didn't know who or where she was. But then it came to her.
She was Dana Scully, and she'd just been given up to the aliens.
She opened her eyes only to discover utter blackness. There wasn't a
hint of light in the room-- or wherever the hell she was. She lay on her
back, on a hard, uncomfortable tabletop. Her arms at her side, tightly
secured by straps of some kind, her feet tied as well. She struggled
against them briefly, in a vain hope that she could break free, but
quickly gave up. She was secured well.
She felt fear begin its slide up her spine, and took a deep breathe to
quell it. "You'll be ok Dana. It'll be ok; this'll all work out for
the best. Calm, have to remain calm."
A glaring light came on then, as if sensing her return to consciousness.
She looked at the white room around her; white, bright white expansive
walls. Were there even walls? She couldn't be sure. The white of the
light made distinguishing it from the room nearly impossible. It felt
familiar, as if--
The memories came at her like an unexpected gunshot. She had lived
through this before. She remembered. Blinding lights; the sound of her
screams echoing ominously in her ears. Light, again, but different - it
seemed whiter, sharper, almost glacial in its coldness. She couldn't
move, couldn't move anything. Indistinct faces hidden behind masks.
Metal, shining from above. Pain. A moan escaped her lips before she
could brace herself.
Time passed. She was not sure how long she'd been waiting before she
heard a noise like an electrical hum. A door appeared and opened just to
her left. In the doorway, she saw two aliens peering in, two
honest-to-God little green men. "Little gray men." She amended. She
had known and had believed, but it wasn't until that moment that it
truly hit her.
She slowly blinked. They were still there. "Little gray men." Before
Scully could react they had backed away and the door had closed,
separating them once more.
Scully was left alone.
* * * * *
The thought of trying to go to sleep brushed Scully's mind and was
promptly dismissed. Every hair on her head was separate and alert, her
very skin wide awake. But god, how she wanted to sleep... to escape this
nightmare no matter how briefly. She was excited, depleted, running on
her will. But no, she couldn't do that. She had to face this, whatever
this was.
She let her mind wander to the last time she had slept, and waking up
curled up next to Mulder's side. How she wished she was back there next
to him. Why had it taken this to get them to that? "Because this is
how we are. Because this is who we are." Perhaps that explanation was
too simple, but it explained everything.
Because. Just because.
The moment had been inevitable. Did it really matter why or how or
where? Or when?
Yes it did. The 'when' mattered.
She felt regret for the time that had been lost, and fear that they
wouldn't have a chance to make up for it. She didn't know if this would
work, she didn't know if she would survive, she didn't know what she
would face if she came back.
She didn't know anything.
Scully heard the noise again, the same humming as before. She turned her
head in the direction of the door. Two of them again. But this time,
instead of waiting hesitantly at the door, they walked right up to her.
They paused near her head and for a moment seemed to communicate with
each other.
One suddenly reached out its pale hand and lay it on her forehead.
Scully tried her best not to flinch, but couldn't help but turn away
from the cold touch. The hand remained in place and the two creatures
seemed to confer once more. Scully could get nothing from them; it was
as if she was trying to read a wall. She hoped that they were having as
little success reading her. Allen had been confident that she had the
ability to block her thoughts from them, but now that she was here she
was beginning to worry. If they found out... if they knew the plan...
Well, she knew what would happen; she didn't want to think about it.
Finally, the alien removed its cool hand, and together the two moved
away from her. Scully twisted her neck to follow their progress. One
walked to a wall and hit a keypad that had appeared as suddenly as the
door had. Movement out of the periphery of Scully's vision caused her to
turn her head away from the one nearest the wall. The second one had
moved around to her other side and was positioning a metallic device
above her. It hung suspended over her head. The object was circular, and
in it's center protruded a cone shaped instrument. The second alien
carefully adjusted the device so that the tip of the cone was
perpendicular to her forehead.
Metal, shining from above.
Pain.
Pain.
Scully tried to turn her head away to avoid what she inherently knew was
coming, but to her horror, found that she now longer had control of her
body. She was suddenly immobile, frozen to the tabletop, yet she
retained total sensation throughout her body.
A shearing pain lanced through her head like a hot needle. She felt pain
constrict her chest. Ice-cold pain, as if her blood were clumping
together. She tried to breathe past it but it was a struggle. Unable to
summon the extra breath to call out, she screamed silently.
"Mulder!"
* * * * * *
Conference Room
2:43 pm
* * * * * *
We will now discuss in a little more detail the
struggle for existence.-- Charles Darwin
* * * * * *
Mulder needed to get up and walk around. To get out. To think about
anything else. Unconsciously his mind began to escape and wander the
halls back to when he'd been lying there, afterward, with a sleeping
Scully curled up next to him, there'd been two thoughts that had run
through his head. The first had been "Finally. Finally it happened,
and the world didn't end." His next thought immediately following that
one had come from his self-mocking side. "No the world didn't end, but
it looks like that is where it's heading. Way to wait until the last
minute, dumbass."
But at that moment, that second thought didn't hold much weight. Holding
a warm soft naked Scully in his arms could do that. He had even briefly
chuckled at the idea, until his movement threatened to wake her. It just
seemed so damn typical for them. As if they could do anything simply. Of
course the world as they knew it would have to just have been turned
completely around and with the promise of it being completely destroyed
just around the corner. Of course, typical.
But now, sitting back in the damn conference room, everyone discussing
her hand over to the aliens, those words lost any humor they may have
once had. The arms of their chairs separated him from Scully and the
pale hand in his was a poor substitute for the complete length of her
pressed against him. "The end of the world was right, the end of my
world." Mulder's free hand bit into the arm of his chair and he
swallowed down a hot surge of bile. He spoke, finally finding the words.
"And what will this serve? Her hand over to them?" Mulder asked.
Dagen leaned forward. "Access. We need to have access. We have a vaccine
we can use against them."
Scully furrowed her forehead slightly. "It was our understanding that
the vaccine works on the oil, not on the person. How will this
incapacitate them?"
Allen answered. "I gave myself the vaccine; this was how I came to be
free from its influence. Before they discovered my nature I was able to
inject others. Those who had been infected more recently- and by
recently I'm including myself even though that was 800 years ago-
suffered no major consequences. However, the others, the originals, did
not survive. With the destruction of the oil came their own death. The
treatment works by selectively binding with and destroying specific
segments of the oil. The aliens have been with the oil for so long that
these segments have been fully incorporated into their genetic makeup;
the oil is literally a part of them."
"What about those who, like yourself, aren't killed? Will they be a
threat?" Mulder asked.
Allen shook his head. "At first I was worried. Worried that I was being
presumptuous somehow. That they wouldn't want this, but I was wrong." He
smiled slightly. "The moment that they felt the fog lift and their
choices returned, they celebrated, as if..." Allen could not seem to
find the right words.
"As if something was returned to them that they'd forgotten they owned."
Scully added thoughtfully, finishing for him.
Allen's smile grew with her words. "Exactly." Scully met his smile,
returning one of her own.
For some reason this exchange brought up a surge of jealousy within
Mulder. "So, what- she'll just start randomly injecting as many of them
as she can? This isn't much of a plan." Mulder said sharply,
unconvinced. "Yeah, poke holes Mulder, poke as many damn holes in the
plan as possible."
Allen wasn't deterred by Mulder's words. "No it isn't like that. It's
not as if we're going to turn her over with half a dozen syringes and
several vials of vaccine."
"Then how are we going to give them the vaccine?" Scully asked, in a
tone considerably less sharp than Mulder's had been.
Allen answered. "We've altered the vaccine. We studied it and how it
effects the oil and were able to recreate the effects in another form.
The form that it is in now... well, the best way to describe it is that
it's like a virus. We will *infect* Scully with this *virus* and her
contact with the aliens will pass it to them, much like how the cold
virus is passed in humans. There should be no effect on her. She's not
infected with the oil and she's already been exposed to the vaccine
before without any dire consequences."
"No one else can do this? It's not as if this requires her to actually
*do* anything. It sounds as if all you need her for is as a carrier."
Mulder said with diminishing patience. "Damn it!" He wanted to yell.
"If you want her to risk her life, for god sakes let her actually do
something."
She glanced over at him. Mulder sensed the motion and turned. He didn't
know what to expect when he met her eyes. Maybe irritation, frustration
over his selfish and immature behavior. Maybe surprise at his lack of
willingness to understand, or to help.
But he didn't see any of that. Instead he simply saw understanding in
her expression. And then he heard her. "I'm scared too, Mulder."
"I'm sorry," he softly murmured under his breath. And he was.
Mulder noticed that when he turned away from Scully and back to the men
sitting across the table that Dagen was staring at the both of them,
looking from one to the other, sensing that something had passed between
them, but unable to discern what it was.
Allen did not have the same expression. He was waiting for them to
finish before he responded to Mulder's comments. "They're expecting
her." Allen said simply, stating the obvious. "Her presence on the ship
will not be questioned. She also has the mental discipline necessary to
guard her thoughts from them."
Mulder quietly pushed a long breath from his lungs. "And her chances?"
"Unfortunately, there is a very small window that we have to work with.
The vaccine's action should take no more than six hours to infect the
majority of the aliens, however..." this time there was a very large
pause, a very large 'however,' and Mulder dreaded hearing the rest. "The
six hours maybe too long; we may not be safe." Off of Scully's uplifted
eyebrow, Allen explained further. "Her hand over to them signifies that
what they've been working for all of these years as been realized.
Invasion will begin."
Dagen spoke up haltingly. "And... and they may... test her. Do some
tests on her. And they're likely to try to infect her, to fully
integrate her to them."
"What? Mulder snapped, and then reined his temper in, and repeated it
more softly. "What are you saying? Are you saying that she'll become
reinfected?"
Allen gave his head a small shake. "No, that's not possible. First,
she's already been inoculated; second, even if she could become
infected, with the virus within her, she wouldn't be infected long."
Mulder's mind acted like a steel trap that had just been tripped. "But
they can't find out she is uninfected."
"Correct." Allen said with a nod and a sigh. "If they did, she would be
of no use to them alive. They would likely kill her, and salvage what
ever genetic material they could from her."
Salvage. Lovely word. Mulder tried his best to not think about just what
that would entail.
"I know that the plan seems... well, incomplete, but we hadn't planned
on acting this soon. We all believed we had several years left." Allen
glanced toward Dagen sitting beside him. Dagen was looking down at his
hands. His fingers worried away at a hangnail and avoided everyone's
eyes.
Allen looked down briefly, before finding Mulder's, then Scully's eyes.
"Look, I'm not going to lie to you here, it's a possibility that she
will fail, that the whole plan will fail... This has always been an all
or nothing situation... I'm afraid... I'm afraid that there aren't many
alternatives available."
"But what are those alternatives? What if this doesn't work? What is the
fall back plan? Is there even one?"
"If this fails, and invasion begins, we would begin fighting them; to
defend ourselves, as well as prevent invasion."
"Would we be successful? Do you think that we can fight them?"
"Mulder, if I believed that we could stop them by fighting them, we
would have already acted."
Mulder nodded, understanding; wishing he didn't. His hand was firmly
intertwined with Scully's and he gently rubbed his thumb against her
index finger, and waited for her to speak.
"What will you do if I choose not to help you?"
Allen paused, giving her question full weight. "We will not make you, we
can't. But you have to understand that they will find you. You could
hide for a while, maybe, but death would be your only true escape. And
while they look for you, they would find the research and make
another."
"And Armageddon would begin." Scully finished quietly. She had made her
choice, one that Mulder had known she would take all along. He closed
his eyes to her next words. Words that he knew must be said, yet would
be the most painful that he would ever have to hear.
She raised her head, drew in a deep breath and released it. Her eyes
flashed and her voice was firm, full of conviction. "Ok then, let's do
this."
* * * * * *
Skyland Mountain
Virginia
5:56 pm
Scully anxiously shifted on her feet. She looked at Allen beside her, in
the form of Krycek, holding his gun even with her, completing the
illusion. He seemed undisturbed by the cold wind that blew through the
trees and through, it seemed, herself.
"Are you sure we can't wait in the car?" she asked, looking perhaps a
little too longingly at the car at the foot of the hill.
"Sorry. The instructions were very specific."
The instructions. Back on Skyland Mountain. Ahhh, the memories... or, in
her case, lack of memories. Maybe later she and Mulder could look into
why this place had so much appeal.
If they had a later.
Lightning lit up the sky, interrupting her thoughts. She counted softly
to herself, "One, one thousand, two one thousand, three-" The crash of
thunder cut her off. Close, very close. But still no rain.
"How much longer?" She asked.
"Any minute."
"Will this work?" Scully wasn't sure why she asked. Allen had already
explained everything; she already knew her chances. Perhaps she was
looking for some reassurance.
To bad Allen couldn't give any.
"It has to." He said simply.
The words had barely passed his lips when a blinding light illuminated
the dark night sky again. For a second, she thought it was another bolt
of lightning, but it lasted too long.
Time slowed, the world narrowing only to that moment. She shielded her
eyes with her hands and she half turned away from the source.
That was the last thing she remembered.
* * * * * *
Resistance Headquarters
Conference Room
8:21 pm
Scattered across the tabletop were manila folders filled with papers and
the numerous photographs that had been compiled for them. Mulder had
been sifting through the stack, not really seeing any of it, ever since
Scully had left with Allen hours earlier.
The looming anguish of his memories was a dark stain spread over his
heart. He felt empty except for an overwhelming sadness, a heaviness
inside him as if he could hardly carry his own weight. As he sat there
restlessly fingering through the evidence, his mind played back their
good-bye. He didn't want to think about it, but his mind kept replaying
the scene over and over.
As what was typical for them, the actual word 'good-bye' was never
spoken.
Allen had waited patiently for her in the car, and she had stood with
Mulder just outside the doorway. A storm was coming, the dark clouds
creating an artificial dusk. Scully had looked up to the sky, and he had
followed her gaze. The clouds were bruised and heavy, but not yet ready
to let go of their rain.
The wind caught a lock of her hair and danced with it next to her face.
He brought his hand up, and taking the smooth strands between his
fingertips, tucked them carefully behind her ear.
Words had escaped him. Scully seemed to have the same difficulty as he,
because she too didn't speak. So they had just stood there, silently
regarding the other like a couple of teenagers at the end of a date,
unsure of what the right words would be.
Unable to say good-bye.
The longer that they had stood there, the more conscious Mulder became
of the time ticking by, the time that was being lost. He had thought
then, at that instant, of all of the other moments that had been lost
because neither of them had the courage to be the first to move.
He pulled her to him, holding her tightly against his body. He'd buried
his nose into her hair, memorizing her scent. "Don't say it Mulder,
don't even think it. This isn't good-bye."
As they parted he could see the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes
before she turned away from him and toward the waiting car.
"Scully." He said her name in a choked voice. He didn't have anything to
say, but he couldn't let her leave with out saying something, anything.
His lips moved around her name again but no sound came out.
She turned back to him, and on a sudden impulse he placed a hand on the
back of her neck and pulled her head to his and kissed her. It wasn't a
kiss of passion, desperation, or even need. No, it was simply a
connection, and the only way Mulder could find to say what he had needed
to say.
She was the first to pull away; he hadn't wanted to let her go. He had
to make her understand. Scully caught his eyes and read his unspoken
question. She smiled and brought her hand up to run her palm against his
cheek. For the longest time she simply stared into his eyes.
Mulder watched her face. He had the sense that the whole world turning
on its axis was waiting for her answer to his unspoken question. Did she
know?
Her smile was almost sad (had there been regret he saw in her eyes?)
when she said "I know Mulder." Her tears escaped then. Before she turned
away completely, he heard her in his head, "I always knew."
She had let go of him then, and half ran to the waiting vehicle. He
hadn't watched as they drove off.
He'd headed back inside, back to the conference room and there he had
remained, alone except for his thoughts.
His damn thoughts.
She always knew. And what had he done in all of those years? Not a
fucking thing.
He didn't want to think about the time that had been lost, the 'might
have been's, the 'should of's. He didn't want to think about the
possibility that that is all they would ever have.
And it wasn't as if he'd had an overnight epiphany, or it was just the
situation that had brought this out. It was simply the crystallization
of years of thought, of hesitation, of uncertainty. Because the simple
fact of the matter was that for years he had known exactly what he
wanted and precisely who he wanted to be with. Scully. The single word
was all of the answers to the questions he asked. She was the sum of all
he wanted and needed.
Oh, he had most definitely been Hamlet, standing there for years and
wondering, prevarication, trying to come to a decision and not sure what
direction to take. All of that wasted time...Nothing less than the end
of the world had been required for him to act.
And now it was too late. Too goddamn late.
"And yet, as martyrs, our burdens must be borne."
"Fuck that! Fuck that to hell!" He said into the empty room. He stood up
from his chair and swept off the stacks of papers.
His fury left as quickly as it had came. He watched as the white sheets
fluttered to the ground.
The unexpected the knock at the door sounded like a cannon blast in the
silent room. Without waiting for a response Allen opened the door.
"You're back" Mulder stated the obvious, not looking for an answer.
"She's with them now."
Allen glanced to the floor and the papers strewn across it.
"Redecorating? Can I help?" Pausing, he took a deep cleansing breath
and continued. "Come with me. You shouldn't be alone now." The tone was
cool, rational, allowing for no compromise or misinterpretation.
It reminded Mulder of Scully, and that was the only reason he allowed
Allen to lead him out of the room.
* * * * * *
Alien Ship
For a long time Scully just lay on the tabletop and listened to her
heart as it methodically pounded a wooden stake into her head. It was
one of those awakenings that when she first regained consciousness she
didn't know who or where she was. But then it came to her.
She was Dana Scully, and she'd just been given up to the aliens.
She opened her eyes only to discover utter blackness. There wasn't a
hint of light in the room-- or wherever the hell she was. She lay on her
back, on a hard, uncomfortable tabletop. Her arms at her side, tightly
secured by straps of some kind, her feet tied as well. She struggled
against them briefly, in a vain hope that she could break free, but
quickly gave up. She was secured well.
She felt fear begin its slide up her spine, and took a deep breathe to
quell it. "You'll be ok Dana. It'll be ok; this'll all work out for
the best. Calm, have to remain calm."
A glaring light came on then, as if sensing her return to consciousness.
She looked at the white room around her; white, bright white expansive
walls. Were there even walls? She couldn't be sure. The white of the
light made distinguishing it from the room nearly impossible. It felt
familiar, as if--
The memories came at her like an unexpected gunshot. She had lived
through this before. She remembered. Blinding lights; the sound of her
screams echoing ominously in her ears. Light, again, but different - it
seemed whiter, sharper, almost glacial in its coldness. She couldn't
move, couldn't move anything. Indistinct faces hidden behind masks.
Metal, shining from above. Pain. A moan escaped her lips before she
could brace herself.
Time passed. She was not sure how long she'd been waiting before she
heard a noise like an electrical hum. A door appeared and opened just to
her left. In the doorway, she saw two aliens peering in, two
honest-to-God little green men. "Little gray men." She amended. She
had known and had believed, but it wasn't until that moment that it
truly hit her.
She slowly blinked. They were still there. "Little gray men." Before
Scully could react they had backed away and the door had closed,
separating them once more.
Scully was left alone.
* * * * *
The thought of trying to go to sleep brushed Scully's mind and was
promptly dismissed. Every hair on her head was separate and alert, her
very skin wide awake. But god, how she wanted to sleep... to escape this
nightmare no matter how briefly. She was excited, depleted, running on
her will. But no, she couldn't do that. She had to face this, whatever
this was.
She let her mind wander to the last time she had slept, and waking up
curled up next to Mulder's side. How she wished she was back there next
to him. Why had it taken this to get them to that? "Because this is
how we are. Because this is who we are." Perhaps that explanation was
too simple, but it explained everything.
Because. Just because.
The moment had been inevitable. Did it really matter why or how or
where? Or when?
Yes it did. The 'when' mattered.
She felt regret for the time that had been lost, and fear that they
wouldn't have a chance to make up for it. She didn't know if this would
work, she didn't know if she would survive, she didn't know what she
would face if she came back.
She didn't know anything.
Scully heard the noise again, the same humming as before. She turned her
head in the direction of the door. Two of them again. But this time,
instead of waiting hesitantly at the door, they walked right up to her.
They paused near her head and for a moment seemed to communicate with
each other.
One suddenly reached out its pale hand and lay it on her forehead.
Scully tried her best not to flinch, but couldn't help but turn away
from the cold touch. The hand remained in place and the two creatures
seemed to confer once more. Scully could get nothing from them; it was
as if she was trying to read a wall. She hoped that they were having as
little success reading her. Allen had been confident that she had the
ability to block her thoughts from them, but now that she was here she
was beginning to worry. If they found out... if they knew the plan...
Well, she knew what would happen; she didn't want to think about it.
Finally, the alien removed its cool hand, and together the two moved
away from her. Scully twisted her neck to follow their progress. One
walked to a wall and hit a keypad that had appeared as suddenly as the
door had. Movement out of the periphery of Scully's vision caused her to
turn her head away from the one nearest the wall. The second one had
moved around to her other side and was positioning a metallic device
above her. It hung suspended over her head. The object was circular, and
in it's center protruded a cone shaped instrument. The second alien
carefully adjusted the device so that the tip of the cone was
perpendicular to her forehead.
Metal, shining from above.
Pain.
Pain.
Scully tried to turn her head away to avoid what she inherently knew was
coming, but to her horror, found that she now longer had control of her
body. She was suddenly immobile, frozen to the tabletop, yet she
retained total sensation throughout her body.
A shearing pain lanced through her head like a hot needle. She felt pain
constrict her chest. Ice-cold pain, as if her blood were clumping
together. She tried to breathe past it but it was a struggle. Unable to
summon the extra breath to call out, she screamed silently.
"Mulder!"
* * * * * *