Project: Sleeping Beauty
Author's Note: Well, Chapter 1 was successful! Here is the actual play!! I know the characters are OOC but hey! Read Chaos Strikes Again too! Gainax may own da characters, but I own the screwed up version of Sleeping Beauty, (Once upon a time, I actually did watch it and read it, but that was way way back.) Have fun reading it and R&R!!! No flames though, I can tell myself when it's bad, and this is but if you don't like it, don't read it! I am Nuriko! BWAHAHAHA! (Inside joke. My cousins and I were being the 7 stars of Suzaku.) I'll bet not any one of you remembers Sleeping Beauty like this! Neither do I. But, I don't go by the Disney version.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Play
Maya:Runs out on stage with a microphone Hello, and welcome to the play 'Sleeping Beauty' Our actors have worked hard,(Yeah right.. They rarely practiced their lines. God, I hope it works out. Yeah really will.) I would appreciate silence.
Some kid from the audience: Put a sock in it! We want to see the play!
Maya: (Little BRAT! Grrrr...) AHEM! Now here's the play!
Someone else from the audience: Will this be boring? So far it is.
Maya: Runs off stage, curtain swings open
Pen Pen: Sitting on a throne next to Kaworu Squaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwk (Oh, I am so happy to have a baby daughter)
Kaworu: So am I! Isn't she adorable? So quiet! Picks up the doll, doll's head pops off
Kaworu: (What am I supposed to do now? Aw heck!) Lays the baby doll and its head down in the crib
Pen Pen: Squaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwk! (Look! There are the fairies!)
Touji, Kensuke, and Gendo come parading in, in different colored tutus. Touji: Pink, Kensuke: Yellow, and Gendo: Purple
Kaworu: Hello. Who are you?
Touji: We are manly men in tights!!!!!!
Kensuke: elbows him BAKA! Wrong line!
Touji: Oops. Okay, we are three fairies here for the princess's birth.
Kensuke: The song! You forgot the song!
Touji: Ohh! We are the fairies three!
Kensuke: We come from across the sea!
Gendo: We can do magic on an old rabbit!
Touji: We are the fairies three!
Kensuke: We were born men, now we are girls, don't you dare call us transsexuals!
Gendo: Cuz we used to have nuts, now we don't, so we can say **** and do rituals!
Touji, Gendo & Kensuke: We aren't traaaannnseeexxxxxxxxxxxxuuuuuuaaaaaaaallllls!
Touji: We are the fair-
Kaworu: Knock it off!!!!
Kensuke: Humph, fine.
Gendo: I control all of you! I am in charge!
Audience sweat drops
Gendo: *cough* I need to get back to work, so on with it!
Touji: Are you sick or something?
Gendo:.....................
Touji: Well, you keep coughing.
Gendo:.....................
Kensuke: God, can we get this over with? I don't have time for this! Really, my schedule is jam packed! I mean, I have a lot of appointments! We are busy fairies!
Touji: What do we do now?
Kensuke: Yeah, what are we doing here?
Kaworu: Death glare You are supposed to give her GIFTS!
Touji: Why?
Pen Pen: Squuuaaaawwwwwk! (Because we said so!)
Kensuke: That's not a very good reason. I mean, you should have an actual reason for it.
Kaworu: JUST DO IT!
Touji: Nike?
Kaworu: Huh?
Touji: You sound like the Nike commercial.
Kaworu:sweat drop
Touji: Well, I'll grant her the gift of looking hot and sexy when she grows up! Well I hope she turns out that way!
Kaworu: What do you mean, you hope.
Touji: Well, how am I supposed to know if she will!
Kaworu: Useless bunch of gimps!
Kensuke: Well, if she's gonna be hot and sexy, she can be smart too, but not like Asuka, the know it all bitch of Evangelion. There's my gift!
An umbrella flies out and hits Kensuke on the head. I wonder who?
Kensuke: Knocked out
Touji: Uh, Kensuke? Speak to me! I'll save you Sleeping Beauty!
Kensuke: Awake Eww! Don't kiss me Touji!
Asuka/evil fairy appears
Asuka: Damn you! You didn't invite me to the christening! Me, the lovely, talented, beautiful-
Kensuke: Evil, narcissist, prideful, boastful, mean, has an inflated ego-
Asuka: Agh! Go to **** you stupid fairy!
Kensuke: No! And I'm not a stupid fairy!
Asuka: Yes you are. Look at yourself.
Kensuke: Oh.
Asuka: Anyway! Back to my speech! Now the princess shall be cursed!!!
Gendo: Why?
Asuka: Because I want to!
Gendo: But she's my clone! I control her!
Asuka: Uh, uh. Now I DO! Bwahahahahahhaaha! When she turns 15 she will prick her finger and fall into ETERNAL SLEEP! Oh yeah, everyone else too!
Evil fairy poofs away
Gendo: Ahem, now for my gift. I grant you the gift of being dispensable.
Kaworu: GRRRR...
Gendo: Okay, fine. Well, I might need to use her in the future, so when a prince kisses her, she'll wake up.
Touji: Goodbye, farewell-
Kensuke: Come on! We have to visit some other stupid princess!
Kaworu: SHE'S NOT STUPID!
3 fairies poof away
Pen Pen: SQQWWWAAAWWWK! (Burn the princess!)
Kaworu: NO!
Pen Pen: Squaaaaawwwkk! (But it'll just cause us trouble!)
Kaworu: Why don't we just... BURN THE SPINDLES!
Pen Pen: Squaaaawk (Okay. You, over there, go burn all the spindles)
Hikari: Hai!
Runs off to burn spindles
The curtains close and part of the burnt spindles' fire catches onto it. Maya runs out with a bucket of water.
Maya: Well, Ahem, Um... UP HERE! Audience continues talking I SAID LOOK UP HERE, DAMMIT! Audience finally stops Well, the princess grew up fine and healthy with all the gifts the fairies gave her.
A noise is heard from the back
Pen Pen: SQUAWWK! (Why couldn't we have just burned her?)
Kaworu: NEVER!
Maya: ANYWAY, it was her fifteenth birthday.........
Maya runs off stage. Curtains open.
Rei appears looking out the window.
Rei: Mmmm... I am 15 today.
Rei begins to wander around. Lecherous hoots sound from the crowd.
Rei: Hm, I wonder what's up here? I've never seen this way before.
Rei walks up the stairs and opens the door
Asuka: Hellllllllllllloooooo nurse! Oops, I mean princess. Why don't you come and spin with me!
Rei: I'm not stupid. I'm not going to touch the spindle! Then I'll fall into eternal sleep! You've got to be kidding!
Asuka: Agh! You abazureon'na!
Flings the spindle at Rei. Rei ducks
Rei: Hah! You can't catch me!
Asuka: I'll get you yet my pretty! BWAHHAHAHAHHAAA!
Asuka finally gets her
Rei: God, I am so tired.
Rei slumps on the floor. Everyone in the palace falls asleep. Asuka cackles like an idiot.
Maya comes out, and the curtains close
Maya: So, the curse has fallen and many people have heard, many tried to save her, but failed.
Maya exits, the curtain opens
Shinji: I must save the sleeping princess!
Now, squeals sound from the crowd. (fangirls) Shinji comes riding on Ritsuko/donkey's back.
Ritsuko: (This is so stupid! Why do I have to be a horse?) Neigh.
Shinji chops away at the thorns.
Shinji: Ouch! I got poked by a thorn! It hurts! I gotta be a man!
Ritsuko: Grrr...
Shinji finally makes it to the castle, leaves Ritsuko outside, and wanders around the castle looking for Rei.
Shinji: Whoa, look at all these people! How lazy!
He walks up to the bedrooms. (How she got there, I don't know) He finds Rei
Shinji: Oh, there she is!
Shinji blushes
Shinji: (Okay, I can't faint now, and nose bleeding would make me look wimpy in front of all these people. Well, she certainly has the gift Touji gave her. Hot and sexy is right. Wait, what am I thinking? Ah, who cares.)
Shinji comes closer to Rei, about to kiss her.
Shinji: Rei, wake up!
Rei: Huh? Oh!
Their lips touched as Shinji kissed Rei.
20 minutes later......
They stop kissing and Shinji picks Rei up, and carries her down to where the King and Queen are, now awake
Pen Pen: SQUAAAAAWKKK! (Oh. Look, it's our daughter. I told you we shoulda killed her!)
Kaworu: AHH! Stop saying that! Starts banging Pen Pen on the head Oh yeah, you two, go get married!
Maya jumps onto the stage and then the curtains close.
Maya: And then the two were married and joy sounded throughout the land.
Maya jumps off the stage and the curtains open. Rei and Shinji are in wedding dress and tuxedo
Kaji: Okay, you two are married, tell me the details later.
Rei and Shinji kiss again and everyone claps.
Everyone comes out and bows.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nope, there's still some more coming, after the play! I'm going crazy aren't I, oh well. I'm planning on another fic, an actually serious one. So R&R!
Author's Note: Well, Chapter 1 was successful! Here is the actual play!! I know the characters are OOC but hey! Read Chaos Strikes Again too! Gainax may own da characters, but I own the screwed up version of Sleeping Beauty, (Once upon a time, I actually did watch it and read it, but that was way way back.) Have fun reading it and R&R!!! No flames though, I can tell myself when it's bad, and this is but if you don't like it, don't read it! I am Nuriko! BWAHAHAHA! (Inside joke. My cousins and I were being the 7 stars of Suzaku.) I'll bet not any one of you remembers Sleeping Beauty like this! Neither do I. But, I don't go by the Disney version.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Play
Maya:Runs out on stage with a microphone Hello, and welcome to the play 'Sleeping Beauty' Our actors have worked hard,(Yeah right.. They rarely practiced their lines. God, I hope it works out. Yeah really will.) I would appreciate silence.
Some kid from the audience: Put a sock in it! We want to see the play!
Maya: (Little BRAT! Grrrr...) AHEM! Now here's the play!
Someone else from the audience: Will this be boring? So far it is.
Maya: Runs off stage, curtain swings open
Pen Pen: Sitting on a throne next to Kaworu Squaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwk (Oh, I am so happy to have a baby daughter)
Kaworu: So am I! Isn't she adorable? So quiet! Picks up the doll, doll's head pops off
Kaworu: (What am I supposed to do now? Aw heck!) Lays the baby doll and its head down in the crib
Pen Pen: Squaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwk! (Look! There are the fairies!)
Touji, Kensuke, and Gendo come parading in, in different colored tutus. Touji: Pink, Kensuke: Yellow, and Gendo: Purple
Kaworu: Hello. Who are you?
Touji: We are manly men in tights!!!!!!
Kensuke: elbows him BAKA! Wrong line!
Touji: Oops. Okay, we are three fairies here for the princess's birth.
Kensuke: The song! You forgot the song!
Touji: Ohh! We are the fairies three!
Kensuke: We come from across the sea!
Gendo: We can do magic on an old rabbit!
Touji: We are the fairies three!
Kensuke: We were born men, now we are girls, don't you dare call us transsexuals!
Gendo: Cuz we used to have nuts, now we don't, so we can say **** and do rituals!
Touji, Gendo & Kensuke: We aren't traaaannnseeexxxxxxxxxxxxuuuuuuaaaaaaaallllls!
Touji: We are the fair-
Kaworu: Knock it off!!!!
Kensuke: Humph, fine.
Gendo: I control all of you! I am in charge!
Audience sweat drops
Gendo: *cough* I need to get back to work, so on with it!
Touji: Are you sick or something?
Gendo:.....................
Touji: Well, you keep coughing.
Gendo:.....................
Kensuke: God, can we get this over with? I don't have time for this! Really, my schedule is jam packed! I mean, I have a lot of appointments! We are busy fairies!
Touji: What do we do now?
Kensuke: Yeah, what are we doing here?
Kaworu: Death glare You are supposed to give her GIFTS!
Touji: Why?
Pen Pen: Squuuaaaawwwwwk! (Because we said so!)
Kensuke: That's not a very good reason. I mean, you should have an actual reason for it.
Kaworu: JUST DO IT!
Touji: Nike?
Kaworu: Huh?
Touji: You sound like the Nike commercial.
Kaworu:sweat drop
Touji: Well, I'll grant her the gift of looking hot and sexy when she grows up! Well I hope she turns out that way!
Kaworu: What do you mean, you hope.
Touji: Well, how am I supposed to know if she will!
Kaworu: Useless bunch of gimps!
Kensuke: Well, if she's gonna be hot and sexy, she can be smart too, but not like Asuka, the know it all bitch of Evangelion. There's my gift!
An umbrella flies out and hits Kensuke on the head. I wonder who?
Kensuke: Knocked out
Touji: Uh, Kensuke? Speak to me! I'll save you Sleeping Beauty!
Kensuke: Awake Eww! Don't kiss me Touji!
Asuka/evil fairy appears
Asuka: Damn you! You didn't invite me to the christening! Me, the lovely, talented, beautiful-
Kensuke: Evil, narcissist, prideful, boastful, mean, has an inflated ego-
Asuka: Agh! Go to **** you stupid fairy!
Kensuke: No! And I'm not a stupid fairy!
Asuka: Yes you are. Look at yourself.
Kensuke: Oh.
Asuka: Anyway! Back to my speech! Now the princess shall be cursed!!!
Gendo: Why?
Asuka: Because I want to!
Gendo: But she's my clone! I control her!
Asuka: Uh, uh. Now I DO! Bwahahahahahhaaha! When she turns 15 she will prick her finger and fall into ETERNAL SLEEP! Oh yeah, everyone else too!
Evil fairy poofs away
Gendo: Ahem, now for my gift. I grant you the gift of being dispensable.
Kaworu: GRRRR...
Gendo: Okay, fine. Well, I might need to use her in the future, so when a prince kisses her, she'll wake up.
Touji: Goodbye, farewell-
Kensuke: Come on! We have to visit some other stupid princess!
Kaworu: SHE'S NOT STUPID!
3 fairies poof away
Pen Pen: SQQWWWAAAWWWK! (Burn the princess!)
Kaworu: NO!
Pen Pen: Squaaaaawwwkk! (But it'll just cause us trouble!)
Kaworu: Why don't we just... BURN THE SPINDLES!
Pen Pen: Squaaaawk (Okay. You, over there, go burn all the spindles)
Hikari: Hai!
Runs off to burn spindles
The curtains close and part of the burnt spindles' fire catches onto it. Maya runs out with a bucket of water.
Maya: Well, Ahem, Um... UP HERE! Audience continues talking I SAID LOOK UP HERE, DAMMIT! Audience finally stops Well, the princess grew up fine and healthy with all the gifts the fairies gave her.
A noise is heard from the back
Pen Pen: SQUAWWK! (Why couldn't we have just burned her?)
Kaworu: NEVER!
Maya: ANYWAY, it was her fifteenth birthday.........
Maya runs off stage. Curtains open.
Rei appears looking out the window.
Rei: Mmmm... I am 15 today.
Rei begins to wander around. Lecherous hoots sound from the crowd.
Rei: Hm, I wonder what's up here? I've never seen this way before.
Rei walks up the stairs and opens the door
Asuka: Hellllllllllllloooooo nurse! Oops, I mean princess. Why don't you come and spin with me!
Rei: I'm not stupid. I'm not going to touch the spindle! Then I'll fall into eternal sleep! You've got to be kidding!
Asuka: Agh! You abazureon'na!
Flings the spindle at Rei. Rei ducks
Rei: Hah! You can't catch me!
Asuka: I'll get you yet my pretty! BWAHHAHAHAHHAAA!
Asuka finally gets her
Rei: God, I am so tired.
Rei slumps on the floor. Everyone in the palace falls asleep. Asuka cackles like an idiot.
Maya comes out, and the curtains close
Maya: So, the curse has fallen and many people have heard, many tried to save her, but failed.
Maya exits, the curtain opens
Shinji: I must save the sleeping princess!
Now, squeals sound from the crowd. (fangirls) Shinji comes riding on Ritsuko/donkey's back.
Ritsuko: (This is so stupid! Why do I have to be a horse?) Neigh.
Shinji chops away at the thorns.
Shinji: Ouch! I got poked by a thorn! It hurts! I gotta be a man!
Ritsuko: Grrr...
Shinji finally makes it to the castle, leaves Ritsuko outside, and wanders around the castle looking for Rei.
Shinji: Whoa, look at all these people! How lazy!
He walks up to the bedrooms. (How she got there, I don't know) He finds Rei
Shinji: Oh, there she is!
Shinji blushes
Shinji: (Okay, I can't faint now, and nose bleeding would make me look wimpy in front of all these people. Well, she certainly has the gift Touji gave her. Hot and sexy is right. Wait, what am I thinking? Ah, who cares.)
Shinji comes closer to Rei, about to kiss her.
Shinji: Rei, wake up!
Rei: Huh? Oh!
Their lips touched as Shinji kissed Rei.
20 minutes later......
They stop kissing and Shinji picks Rei up, and carries her down to where the King and Queen are, now awake
Pen Pen: SQUAAAAAWKKK! (Oh. Look, it's our daughter. I told you we shoulda killed her!)
Kaworu: AHH! Stop saying that! Starts banging Pen Pen on the head Oh yeah, you two, go get married!
Maya jumps onto the stage and then the curtains close.
Maya: And then the two were married and joy sounded throughout the land.
Maya jumps off the stage and the curtains open. Rei and Shinji are in wedding dress and tuxedo
Kaji: Okay, you two are married, tell me the details later.
Rei and Shinji kiss again and everyone claps.
Everyone comes out and bows.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nope, there's still some more coming, after the play! I'm going crazy aren't I, oh well. I'm planning on another fic, an actually serious one. So R&R!