GEISHA... Life Behind the Mask
Author: Hikari
Email: machi_no_tenshi@excite.com
Rated: PG
Genre: Alt.Reality
Part: Chapter 11
Chapter 11:
Usagi made a quick *cue-exit* out of Rei's apart-
ment. When someone was kissing his danna the way Rei was
doing hers... you either left, or became prepared to see
more that you wanted to. She shook her head slowly as her
eyes glanced at the closed door over her shoulder, a forlorn
smile spreading on her lips.
Taking in the orange rays of the setting sun, she
walked through the lonely snow-filled streets of Gion.
She had no reason, no right to be jealous. 'Rei should be
happy.' She thought. Her friend deserved it! After all,
Rei hadn't had the best life growing up either.
Unlike her, Rei had been born as an accident. Her
mother, a famous geisha, had had a brief liaison with a man
in order to pay for a debt that the grandmother of her house
had. Out of that one night of business came Rei.
However, the man her mother had slept with, refused
to acknowledge Rei as his child. That didn't matter too
much; yet, the only path left open for Rei was to follow in
her mother's footsteps. So, since before her birth, her
future had been established. She would be thrust into this
world since birth, never knowing or having the possibility
to become anything other than a geisha.
But none of this mattered. She didn't even know why
she was remembering these things about her friend now. Other
girls had been sold or born into this profession, and *they*
had found some type of pleasure in the honorary title that a
geisha held.
Usagi balled her fits and shook her head, her body
pumping with energy. No matter what, she was happy for her
friend. Now, if only she could feel as happy... everything
would be just fine.
And why *shouldn't* she be happy?! It was *her*
loss not Usagi's. After all, *she* was the one who decided
to evade her responsibilities. Selling her off instead of
taking care of her like any normal mother would. Usagi owed
it to herself to be happy. 'I mean,' she thought. 'What
type of life would I have had with a woman that can't commit
to her duties?' She was better off... DEFINITELY!
Clear tears escaped from her eyes. 'Then why was
she crying??' Usagi rubbed an angry hand over her eyes in a
childish manner. "BAKA," she called herself. She shouldn't
cry now, not after a month of repressed tears. If she began
to cry now... she knew she wouldn't be able to stop.
A month... It had been a month since she departed
Darien's apartment. Leaving behind her what might have
been... 'NO,' she countered. Her and Darien could never
have been anything more than danna and geisha. She realized
that now. They came from two completely different worlds,
two completely different cultures.
"It was doomed from the start." She told herself
she felt more at peace now that she had had her epiphany.
Yet, if her feelings really obeyed her thoughts, she never
would have gotten into this mess.
Usagi froze on the spot momentarily as an image
flashed through her mind. "No," she whispered. She
couldn't be comparing herself to *that* woman! Why should
she? She wasn't anything like her. She hadn't evaded her
obligations. She had done everything that they had asked
of her! She *DIDN'T* run away!
"It was *he,*" she said. "It was Darien who ran
away." Not her! Not her! "He ran away. He left me...
like *she* did." Usagi clenched her hands with the force
of her suppressed anger. 'I should never have trusted him,'
she thought. 'I never should have let him get so close to
me.' Because it was when people got too close to her that
they always let her down. 'It's better not to trust; better
not to feel... better, to be alone.'
Without noticing, Usagi had crouched down on the
white sidewalk, unaware of the way the snow was slowly
dampening her kimono. Too many people, too many memories
were flooding her thoughts at one time. "YAMETE!" She
screamed. "Mo, YAMETE!"
She sniffled a bit as she clutched her head in her
shaky hands. "Atashi... atashi..." she began to sob. 'I
just want to be happy. I want to be alone...' "Stay here
forever..." she said as she lay on the cold blanket of snow
and slowly drifted to unconsciousness.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A young geisha with hazelnut colored eyes was on her
way home from the market. With a secretive smile on her
lips, she glanced at the fruits she had bought. Her onee-
sama would be very happy.
She clutched the packet closer to her as she neared
a crowd of people gathered on the sidewalk. "I wonder what
happened..." she said as she quickened her pace as fast as
her geta would allow. "Sumimasen," she said as she neared
one of the spectators. "Demo... why are all these people
here?"
"There's- " the man began as he turned to face her.
He gawked at her for a moment before continuing on. "There's
a geisha lying on the sidewalk. I think she's dead."
"Dead," she repeated. Quickly, she began to push
her way through the crowd in order to see the face of the
deceased. 'Oh god!' she thought as her package fell with a
*thud* on the snow, a couple of apples escaping from the bag.
"Usagi-nee-chan?" she cried as she rushed to the
body. "It's me, Akiko." She began to say desperately as
she as she shook Usagi's body. "NEE-CHAN!!" she screamed
as the hysteria was beginning to take hold of her. "NEE-
CHAN, OPEN YOUR EYES!!"
Akiko fell on the Usagi's body as she cried.
"Please," she whispered. "Please come back to me." She
nestled her head closer to Usagi's chest. "Please... don't
leave me."
All fell silent around her. Her world had
collapsed. Usagi had been her older sister since she came
into Ritsuko's okiya. She had been the one that had made
her feel at home. If it hadn't been for Usagi's help and
compassionate manner towards her, Akiko would have probably
tried to run away.
And now- Now that she had finally established
herself as a successful geisha, the fact that her older
sister would not be able to see all the fame that she
planned to acquire tore her dreams apart. It made Akiko
feel so confused she could even hear her own slow heartbeat.
'Heartbeat?'
Akiko blinked her eyes and wiped her tears away.
Pressing her face to Usagi's chest, she stilled her
breathing hoping to hear something. A faint thumping sound
resonated from within Usagi's being. 'SHE WAS ALIVE!'
Akiko rejoiced as she hugged the frail, nearly frozen body
to her. "Nee-chan?" she asked again. "Can you hear me?"
"Nan-?" she murmured weakly as her eyes fluttered
open. "Akiko?"
Her imotou's eyes began to overflow with tears of
joy. "Nee-chan, you're alright!" She happily cried as she
hugged Usagi's body even closer. "You're alright!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Leaving the crowd of people behind, Akiko walked
side by side to her sister. On a burst of emotion, she
made a grab for Usagi's arm and clung to it. "Nee-chan?"
Her watering puppy-dog eyes looked up into vacant blue orbs.
"What happened to you back there? You scared me."
Usagi stopped. What *had* happened to her back
there? "I don't know A-chan. Demo... there is one thing
I do know," she said as she slowly petted her head. "You
don't have to worry. I'll never let what happened today
repeat itself again."
"Honto?"
She smiled. "Honto."
Akiko's lips shaped themselves into a smile. She
did a little hop of joy as she giggled in happiness in
response to Usagi's answer. Now they could go home and
enjoy the apples that she had gotten. "Ringo?" she asked
herself aloud as she suddenly realized she wasn't carrying
the bag she had bought at the market.
"Ringo?" Usagi repeated curiously. "What about
ringo?"
Akiko sniffed and passed her index finger under
her nose. "Well," she began. "You see... you had been
kinda depressed lately and I wanted to cheer you up, so...
I went to the market today and I went to look for something
to get you when I saw these apples. And, well, I remembered
that they are your favorite fruit so I bought you a dozen
of them but now- now I can't seem to find the bag anywhere
because I think I must have left behind when you were...
well... " She just trailed off.
"Gomen ne, A-chan." Usagi said as she hugged her
imotou. "I thank you for your thought, though." Her eyes
widened as an idea sparked in her brain. "Tell you what,
how 'bout I treat you to some green tea ice-cream on our
way home?"
'Home,' Akiko thought smiling to herself. She
loved it. Raising her head to look at her Onee-chan she
nodded. "HAI!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Tadaima..." Usagi and Akiko called simultaneously
as they came home. They discarded their geta and walked
into the hallway.
"Nee-chan, I'm gonna go to my room now." Akiko
gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Since you don't have
to attend any parties tonight, I suggest you get a good
night's rest." She started to back step in the direction
of her room. "Kyotsukette!!"
Usagi raised her hand and waived. "Hai! Anata mo!"
Turning in the opposite direction, she began to
walk towards her room. All in all, she had to admit her
life wasn't as bad off as she thought. She might even begin
to like living as a geisha. She would grow used to it.
It would all be different now, because *this* time, she
would actually want to be a geisha.
'Yes,' she thought as her hand slid the shouji
screen open. 'She would be the best geisha there ever was.'
Smiling happily at her conclusion she looked into her room,
her sanctuary, and found it- in disarray?
Stepping in carefully, Usagi looked to either side
as she tried to find a clue of what had happened. And there
it was... a man was bent over her drawers, shuffling through
her stuff.
"DARE KA?!" Usagi yelled in anger at the intruder.
Then, she almost jumped out of her skin as the most
recognizable pair of midnight-blue eyes stared back at her
with mirth.
"O-ha-you," he called in a carefree singsong manner
that made Usagi's temper rise.
"Darien?" she asked through clenched teeth. "What
the *hell* do *you* think you're doing here?!"
"Isn't it obvious?" He tilted his head playfully
at her. "I'm packing your stuff."
Her heart stopped for a second. 'No,' he mind
screamed. She must not hope, she must not assume. "Yes,"
she said as she worked her suddenly dry throat. "I see
that. But why?"
"Because I can." He answered as he turned his
grinning face back to his task. "Also, because I'm in a
hurry and we have a plane to catch."
"Wha- what do you mean *we*?"
"Oh, didn't your grandmother tell you?" He asked
innocently. 'She's so cute when she's all mixed up.' He
thought to himself. He was enjoying seeing the mixture shock
and anger written all over Usagi's face. "You no longer
work here. You now work for me."
Usagi felt faint as she took a step back to try and
steady herself. "You? You bought me off of Obaa-san?!
How- how could you?"
"Well... I like to think of it as taking advantage
of a bargain sale," he paused to wink at her. "Seeing as
your Obaa-sama has no use for a pregnant geisha."
Usagi eyes grew wide as her face turned red. "Wha-
what are you talking about? I'm not pregnant! BAKA!"
"Well," Darien looked at her for a moment, an all-
knowing secretive smile spreading through his sensual lips.
"Maybe not now, demo... don't you want to have kids some
day? And believe me, at the rate we'll be going, it won't
be long."
"What are you talking about?" Usagi answered quickly
as she felt heat rush to her cheeks. She felt so embarrassed
that she could have sworn her white make-up had turned pink.
"I- I don't understand how you can afford this; how can you
afford me?!!"
He walked over to her dresser as the room became
silent. "When I was little my dad told me that my grand-
father -who was a very rich man- had disinherited him for
a reason he still refuses to me. He would tell me stories
of the many struggles he had go through in order to acquire
enough money to live comfortably. Dad liked to drill into
my head the idea of beginning my fortune from youth and so,
I worked every type of job -honest, mind you- and learned
how to invest my money properly so that it wouldn't just
sit in a bank and collect dust. And now... " He turned to
her, showing his beautiful serene smile. "-Through many
years of good investments and hard work, I have finally
been able to buy something that I wouldn't have been able
to acquire otherwise."
"I- I still don't- " She began to ask as she grabbed
her head within her hands. He had just labeled her as
property! Was she basically in the same category as a sofa
for him? "Why are you doing this?" she cried.
"Do I have to spell everything out for you today?"
He slowly approached her shaking body. "I'm doing this
because I love you and I want to spend every day, for the
rest of my life, with you by my side."
"You... love me?" She shook her head in denial.
"But I thought I was just an obsession that you had."
"Maybe you were in the beginning," he admitted.
"However, somewhere along the line I got to know who you
really were and I loved being around you it. You made me
feel as if I belonged not just here -in this place- but
everywhere. Does that make sense?" he asked with
uncertainty.
Maybe she didn't love him anymore. He shouldn't
have waited so long to make up his mind. 'But what had he
been so unsure of?' Her feelings towards him? 'Yes, a
little.' His feelings towards her? 'Yes, that was why.
He didn't want to be hurt again, so he hid his feelings
-even from himself.' Maybe... it was too late.
He looked at her bent her. "U- Usagi?" His hand
slowly reached for her chin in order to raise her head.
Her watery eyes met his. 'She's crying!' He rubbed his
thumb on her cheek and began to wipe away her tears.
"Usa-ko?" he asked again.
Usagi sniffed as she cried, a jittery smile forming
on her lips. She began to hiccup as her crying slowly
turned to laughter. "Baka," she called him as she threw a
weak punch at his chest.
Darien felt his world fall apart. He had waited
too long. She didn't love him anymore.
"Baka!" she called again, except this time, she
threw her arms around him as she nuzzled her head against
his warm chest. "Couldn't you have told me this sooner?
I've gone through *hell* because of you!"
He had thought she was angry with him but her
attitude didn't match his judgment. Looking at her face,
he saw the smile he had longed to see since the first time
he met her: A smile that not only showed on her lips, but
also in her eyes.
He laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. "So, does
that mean you still love me?"
Usagi maneuvered her hands around his shoulders
-towards the back of his neck- then, dove her fingers into
his hair. Biting her lip, she grinned as her hands gently
pushed down his head until it met hers. "Aishiteru." She
whispered as her lips timidly inched towards his.
Euphoric. There was no other way to describe how
her lips made him feel after such a long abstinence. They
were so soft and sweet. 'Oh!' his mind cried as he wrapped
his arms around her waist, binding her to him, as he
deepened the kiss. How he had missed her feminine charms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Done," Usagi said as she closed the last luggage.
"I can't believe you brought this many suitcases."
"I can't believe we had to use them all." He cocked
his eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you're gonna need this
many kimonos?"
"Of course." She gave him an incredulous look.
"Do you know how much each of those cost?!"
"If they're included in what I had to pay, I can
make an estimate on their price."
She pouted. "Do you have to repeat the fact that
you bought he off?"
"I didn't mean it in a bad way." He took her hand
in his, his fingers slowly intertwining with hers.
"Gomen ne."
"I know. I just don't like feeling like an object."
She lowered her eyes momentarily. "You may have forgotten,
but I'll never forget the fact that I've been sold since I
was a child."
"Gomennasai."
"Iie. Oh!" she said as she gently disentangled her
hand from his. "I forgot I have to talk to Obaa-san before
I leave."
"Alright. You go do that." He gave her a quick
kiss on her lips. "In the mean time I'll place these bags
in the car."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Obaa-san," Usagi called from behind the shouji
screen. "Can I speak with you?"
She heard a shuffling noise before her grandmother
responded, "Hai."
Usagi walked into the room, bowed, and sat herself
in front of the woman whose house she had grown up in. "I-
I wanted to ask you a question before I left." She fumbled
with her hands as she spoke. "I know you already know I'm
leaving. I mean- of course you do." 'You sold me, after
all.' She finished for herself. "But, I have to know. Why
did you sell me? I know I was never a good enough geisha
in your eyes, but why?" She pushed on. "Why did you?"
Her grandmother looked at her for a moment. Then, she
smiled. "Was it in bad judgment for me to have sold you?"
"No I- "
"I believe what you're trying to ask me is the
reason why I sold you at a loss, ne?"
She lowered her head. "Hai."
Obaa-san laughed. "How else was he supposed to
afford you? With interest ratings, the cost of your kimonos,
room and board rent and the fact that we give you work... it
would have been nearly impossible. Why, the amount he gave
me doesn't even cover two-thirds of what you're worth!"
"Then," she pleaded. "Tell me why you did it?"
"Usagi-san," Obaa-san began. "In case you haven't
noticed, you were never cut out for this type of life. You
belong in a world were you don't have to pretend to be
something you are not. So wipe off that make-up which you
never should have been made to wear." She commanded. "I
said it once, and I'll say it again. You were never cut out
to be a geisha."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Quietly, she sneaked into her imotou's room. She
looked like such an angel when she slept. Akiko *was* a
geisha. No doubt about it. She smiled proudly when she
remembered that she was this little girl's big sister. She
stepped forward, but took back her step. 'No, it would be
easier this way.' Stepping out of the room, she smiled at
Akiko's sleeping form. "Sayounara."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Walking back into her empty room, she took one last
look around. In a couple of days, a new maiko or even a
geisha would be making this same room theirs. 'It didn't
matter,' she thought as she took off her wig and placed it
on the dresser. 'None of it did.'
She knelt next to her water tub and with her sponge,
began to wipe away her make-up. Every wipe signifying her
release from a life she had never wanted to be a part of.
She wiped and scrubbed every inch of her face until not one
trace of the white layer was left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Darien stood next to the car, his gaze never
straying from the front door. 'What's taking so long?' he
thought. Maybe she was double guessing herself. 'Maybe- '
but that thought was interrupted as the door opened and a
woman in a kimono stepped out.
Her eyes were the color of a clear blue sky, her
face was pale but had this rosy tint to it, and all this
was framed by the golden waves her hair created as it
cascaded from her head. "U- Usako?" He asked incredulously
as he came closer to her. This was the first time he had
ever seen her real face.
He came close to her and wove his hand into her
hair, bringing her head close enough so that he could kiss
each inch of her creamy skin. Usagi smiled brightly.
'Yes,' she thought. This *was* a new beginning. One, she
would not regret.
THE END!
*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*^v^*
Author's Notes for (4/21/01) - the last ones:
I HAVE FINALLY CONCLUDED GEISHA, AND YES... I ENDED UP
WRITING THE HAPPY ENDING. AREN'T YOU GLAD I CHOSE TO GO
WITH VERSION #1? ANYWAY, I'M SOON GONNA BE STARTING MY
NEXT FIC. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO IT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
WRITING THIS UP. DEMO, DON'T WORRY... I HAVE A FEELING THAT
EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NO MORE GEISHA, YOU'LL LIKE MY NEXT
STORY JUST AS MUCH. ^.~
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
ATT: Hikari-chan
AKA: Machi NO Tenshi