Ash's Wonderful Directions

Ash's Wonderful Directions

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon and this idea is from PinkScyther.

Me: Hey Ash, can I have directions to the gas station?

Ash: Uh….. sure.

Me: Okay.

ASH'S DIRECTIONS TO GET TO THE GAS STATION

  1. Go buy a car.
  2. Drive around until you run out of gas.
  3. Get out of your car and fall to the ground.
  4. Let a truck run over you.
  5. Yell 'I'm NOT a vegetable!' fifty-one times.
  6. Hitch a ride with the thirtieth person to look at you.
  7. Get off the car.
  8. Go to the nearest airport.
  9. Get on Flight 16B.
  10. When the plane lands you will be at….

Me: The… Albequerque Airport?

Ash: What? Don't worry, I can get us back to your car!

Me: Ohhhhh God…

ASH'S DIRECTIONS TO GET BACK TO THE CAR

1. Get back on the plane.

Me: Finally, he does something smart.

2. Jump off the plane without a parachute.

Me: I spoke too soon.

  1. Land on a house with excruciating force.
  2. Watch as the occupants scream and run away.
  3. Go to a skate park.
  4. Jump off the half pipe.
  5. Leave.
  6. Get a date with Geodude.
  7. Get bent.
  8. Walk 20 paces south.
  9. Say to a pedestrian "Are you wearing underwear miss?" (Even if it's a boy)
  10. Say to Ash "You are stupid!" (True)
  11. Climb a parked car.
  12. It WILL leave .
  13. When it stops you should be…

Me : AT CHUCKIE CHEESE'S!?!

Ash: What!??!? Oh, now I have the right directions!

ASH'S DIRECTIONS TO GET BACK HOME

  1. Run 27 paces north.
  2. Throw a step ladder at Tracy. (Yay)
  3. Get slapped by Misty.
  4. Run away.
  5. Laugh at Pikachu.
  6. Get thundershocked … (where did all these characters come from?)
  7. Set Brock up with a hobo and a Mr. Mime.
  8. Swing on my flying trapeze.
  9. Paint Ash yellow and go to Pallet Town.
  10. Paint Ash's roof electric blue.
  11. Get yelled at by Mrs. Ketchum.
  12. Dodge her rake.
  13. Run away and hide.
  14. Scream and run 40 kilometers to get away from the children who think you're playing Hide and Seek.
  15. Eat 36 pounds of crayfish. (Yum…. um, not)
  16. Call the AT&T operator and say, "What are YOU doing?"
  17. If they answer, hang up and shatter the phone booth.
  18. Go in the opposite direction and run a million kilometers.
  19. Climb Mount Moon.
  20. Attach springs to your feet and jump. You'll be…

Ash: Um- where are we?

Me: Wow, this looks like…. AAAAAHHHH!!

*We fall about a million feet in elevation and land right inside the perfect place for us…. The insane asylum.*

THE END

~thanks to my sister, LavenderEspeon , for help with ideas and typing.