Laguna flopped into the chair behind his desk; he looked tired and depressed. Squall was still angry with him for not having been at dinner two nights ago. At the moment, Squall was on a tour of Esthar with Edea, Ellone, the other children, and a few guards.
(I can't do anything right) he thought, lighting a cigarette. Raine had made him quit years ago, but the pressures of being President, and now the stress of being a single father had gotten to him and he had started up again. Kiros would yell at him whenever he would light one, so Laguna had gotten the hang of sneaking them when Kiros and Ward weren't looking. He took a long drag off the cigarette and sighed, he had been thinking about it and he had decided that it might be a good idea to send Squall to the new Garden thing that Cid Kramer was working on. Squall would be around other children, he would be going to school, and Laguna wouldn't feel like he was ignoring the poor boy all the time. He took another drag off the cigarette and stared out the window, at the city.
"I don't get it… How come I can run a whole country with my eyes closed, but I can't take care of a four-year-old boy?" he wondered aloud.
"I was wondering the same thing," a voice behind him said. Laguna quickly hid the cigarette, by holding it below his desk, and turned around to see Kiros smirking at him.
"I wasn't smoking, I swear…" Laguna lied. Kiros raised an eyebrow.
"Then put the cigarette you weren't smoking, out." Laguna rolled his eyes and complied, a bit annoyed.
"What do you want?"
"Just to tell you that they're back."
"Have they eaten?"
"Yes."
"…Oh… Okay."
"Just thought you'd like to know…" Kiros turned to leave, "Oh yeah, and give me the pack of cigarettes that you don't have, please." Laguna banged his head into the desk, defeated, and then pulled the pack out of the top drawer and threw it at Kiros.
"Fine…" he grumbled. Kiros caught them and smiled as he left the room. "…I need to get some sleep…" Laguna stood up and wandered out of his office, moving toward Ellie's room to say goodnight. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but heard voices inside. It was Ellie and Squall, talking.
"…not that bad," he heard Ellie say.
"Yes he is! He's never around, and he's always too busy, and he always misses dinner, and I wanna come back wif' yoo!" Squall whined.
"Squall, you can't. I have to go back so that I can be safe. You have to stay here with your dad. This is where you belong."
"…I dun wanna belong here," Squall pouted. Laguna closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Sis? Can I sleep with yoo tonite?"
"…Sure, Squall."
Laguna walked away from the door without knocking. He knew that there was no point. He headed toward his bedroom quickly; he wanted to sleep, to get away from reality for the day.
Laguna fell backward onto his bed and closed his eyes. How could such a small person have such a big impact on him? Every time Squall said things like that, it was like… a knife, going straight through his heart, over and over and over again. Laguna suddenly remembered the look on his father's face, the day they had first met again. How pained he had looked when Laguna had lashed out at him. Laguna now knew how his father had felt.
"No," he said out loud. "I don't want to think about him…" His voice trailed off as he drifted to sleep.
***
"Enter…" a voice said. Laguna took a deep breath, set his jaw, and opened the door. "Ah, hello Laguna," the General said as he put the file he was reading down, and smiled. Laguna walked to the man's desk and narrowed his eyes at the informal greeting.
"…Hello, General," Laguna replied, putting emphasis on the title. Clay stiffened and cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed.
"Please sit down… Lieutenant." Laguna gnawed on the inside of his lip, annoyed, and sat down. Clay Loire leaned forward onto his desk and looked Laguna in the eye. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"
"…Yes, sir. I want to know why I am being transferred to your unit in the home guard?" Laguna answered, glaring at the older man. Clay sat back.
"Because I think you'll be more useful back here. There's no sense in throwing away the life of a gifted officer," he replied.
"Permission to speak freely, sir."
"Permission granted."
"…This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm you son?" Laguna asked, watching the General's reaction carefully. The General stiffened a bit, but kept a straight face.
"Absolutely nothing," he answered, studying the documents on his desk. Laguna sighed, visibly frustrated.
"Sir, I want to go to the front, I do not want to stay in Deling City where I'm going to be torn down by other officers that are going to tell me that I only got my rank because of you. I worked hard to get where I am, and I don't need your shadow looming over me. I was fine without it before, and I'll be fine without it now."
"Well, I'm glad you told me how you feel Lieutenant, but I'm afraid all the paperwork has gone through, you're staying behind, whether you want to or not."
"Dammit! This isn't fair!" Laguna exclaimed loudly as he stood up.
"Lieutenant, sit down." The General's voice was soft, but firm. Laguna snorted and sat back down. "I understand some of your reasoning for wanting to stay away from me, but going to your death at the front is not the way to do it-"
"Why would you care if I died or not?" Laguna snapped, crossing his arms.
"You're being insubordinate, soldier!" The General barked. Laguna set his jaw and stared out the window.
"As I was saying, going to the front is not the answer. I know you would like to kick some ass because the Ryndelians killed your mother, but I want you to stay back here and protect those that cannot protect themselves." Laguna turned his cold gaze back toward the General.
"They didn't just kill my mother, sir. They looted our house, beat her up, and shot her in front of my face, and then let me live with the knowledge that my 'bravery' killed my mother," Laguna replied slowly and deliberately, choosing each word carefully. "…Sir."
***
Squall woke up as the sunlight poured through Ellie's bedroom window. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, glancing around the room, trying to remember where he was. Squall glanced over at his older sister and smiled, remembering that he had been too scared to go back to his own room last night and had stayed with her. He leaned over and shook her softly.
"Elle… Wake up, Elle…" he whispered. Ellone mumbled something incomprehensible and rolled over, ignoring him. Squall crawled out of the bed and padded out of the room and down the hall toward his own room. He was still kind of sleepy, but he knew once he ate breakfast and got dressed he'd feel better. Squall stopped in front of his bedroom and opened the door, but he stopped just before going in. He'd heard a noise. (Where's that coming from?) He wondered, glancing around the hall. Then he realised it was coming from the room across the hall, his dad's room. Squall walked forward quietly and knocked softly on the door. No one answered, but the noise was still there. He carefully pushed the door open and saw his father, asleep on the bed. The noise had been him talking to himself.
"I don't want to stay…" Laguna murmured, rolling over. Squall surpressed a smile and snuck back out of the room. His dad talked in his sleep, which would be something to tease him about later. Squall closed the door quietly behind him and entered his own room, in order to get dressed. It didn't take him long to choose some clothing and put it on. Squall left his bedroom wearing his T-shirt backwards, sweatpants, a white sock, a black sock, and two different shoes. He looked at himself, satisfied and made his way toward the breakfast table.
Squall entered the dining room and sat at his usual place, waiting for the servants to bring his cereal. The other children were already there, except for Matron and Ellie. As Squall sat down he heard snickering coming from the others, but he ignored them and sat proudly, waiting for his food.
"Squall, yoo're cloves are all wrong," Selphie said, shaking her head. Squall glanced around the room at the other children; Zell was pretending not to notice, Irvine was studying the food on his plate, and Seifer was laughing out loud.
"Yoo're shirt's on wrong! Yoo're wearing those pants in the summer!? Yoo're socks dun match! Yoo're shoes dun match neither!" Seifer said, guffawing loudly. Squall scowled at the other boy and began to eat the cereal that the server had just set in front of him. Behind them, the dining room door opened and Ellie walked in with Matron and Laguna behind her.
"Good morning, everybody!" she said cheerfully, sitting down at the table.
"'Morning Elle," Squall said.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Squall," Laguna told him, yawning. Squall rolled his eyes and swallowed.
"Well I dun talk in my sleep!" he fired back.
"Do too!" Zell said. "I heard yoo! Squall tawks in his sleep!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"Alright you two, stop it," Matron scolded. The two boys glared at each other from across the table but kept quiet.
"…Squall, what are you wearing?" Laguna asked as he sat down sluggishly at the head of the table.
"Clothes," Squall answered a-matter-of-factly.
"You know what I mean. After breakfast, you're going to go change into something appropriate… and something that matches."
"I like my clothes."
"I don't care, you can't walk around like that."
"Can too."
"Squall don't argue with me."
"I'm not changing!" Squall declared, crossing his arms defiantly. Laguna levelled his gaze and blinked slowly. Squall suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable, as everyone was looking at him, but he stayed firm.
"Fine." Squall blinked; did his father just say he could go out in these clothes?
"What?"
"I said fine, you can wear whatever you want."
"But don't yoo fink that I might get hot in dese pants?"
"You might, but if you really want to wear them…" Squall contemplated this for a minute. If his father was going to let him wear these clothes, there must be something wrong with them and everyone will laugh at him if he goes outside. He decided that he'd better change them cos his dad was a sneaky person and wasn't going to get the better of him this time.
"Well, I changed my mind. I'm gonna go change." Squall said, pointing his nose triumphantly in the air. Laguna only shrugged and glanced at Matron.
***
-This took forever, and I'm sorry. I've had half of it done forever and then writer's block attacked. The same thing is happening with ADITL and TOOM. So please be patient. ^_^ Thanks!
Rhyein