Body

~Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, American Psycho or ST: Voyager. They are copyright of their respective owners. All said lets begin. INS means instructions.~

Davis was sitting in the front room, waiting for everyone (this room will now be called the fic room). I walked in, with a box and a big cheesy grin.

"What you done now?" He asked me "And whats with the box? Unless it can't be... YOU HAVEN'T!?"

"That's right" I chuckled "I bought another..... INSTRUCTIONS SET! MUAHAHAH!"

"Oh great now he's evil, Veemon! Quick get in here and help me!" Davis screamed in terror. The blue digimon stuck his head around the door

"Yep, Davish?"

"He's bought another instructions set! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!"

Veemon armour digivolve to............. Flamedramon, the fire of courage!

"Davis, aren't you forgetting something?" I asked him and I snapped my fingers. Flamedramon disppeared.

"HOW??!"

"Easy, I'm the author!" (fourth wall breaks, Flamedramon is behind there) "Oops"

As Davis runs to help the armour digimon, I run in the opposite direction, out of the door. I arrive at Yolei's apartment, to find Ken and Izzy there as well.

"HELP! DAVIS IS GONNA KILL ME!"

"Ummm, why?" They ask me, they're gonna regret that. As I hold up the box, their faces change to absolute horror.

"My First Crossover Fic" Izzy looked at me "What you gonna crossover? Digimon and pokemon?"

"Right, on the digimon part, but not pokemon"

"Well, what then?" Yolei asked

"I dunno lets have a look!" I chirped at them

"How do I have the feeling I'm gonna regret this later?" Ken asks

"Coz you are. A simple answer!" I tell Ken "Here we go"

I tear into the box like a kid on Christmas day. To find...... A piece of paper!

Ken: (sarcastically) Great, the invention of the century!

Me: (sarcastically) No, that's the pen!

Izzy: I think you'll find it's the theory of special relativity!

Yolei: And I think you'll find that's LAST century!

Me: Great, Izzy's trying to outsmart Ken!, Anyway....

INS: Congratulations on.....

Me: Lets skip that crap, only stupid people read that.. (fast-forwards INS)

Ken: Like Izzy

Izzy: Yeah, like Izz...... Wait no!

Ken: Hehehe works like it does on Davis!

INS: Anyway, here we go!

Me: (singing) Hey Boy!

Yolei: Don't start the Chemical Brothers songs going....

Me: Why not? What's wrong with the Chemical Brothers?

Yolei: Just get on with it!

INS: 1. First choose your crossover series. Easy ones are Digimon/Pokemon, FF7/FF8, and DBZ/Sailor Moon! Of course the challenge lies in the harder ones!

Ken: Let's see...... Friends/Star Wars!

Izzy: FF7/Gran Turismo?

Yolei: That's just silly, Izzy!

Izzy: ^_^

Yolei: What? Shut up fool! I GOT IT A-team/Pokemon

Izzy: (Mr T Voice) I'm throw that Ash sucka to spiceworld fool!

Ken: I think thats been done already....

Izzy/Yolei: Ahhhhhh crap!

Me: Ummm.... I got one! American Psycho/ST: Voyager!

Rest: WHAT!?!

Me: Well, I was thinking.... No-one likes Neelix right?

Rest: (nods)

Me: And I place Patrick Bateman on Voyager and......

Ken: I think we get it.... It involves gratitious want-on violence correct?

Me: (nods)

Izzy: And it involves Neelix getting slaughtered right?

Me: Perhaps that annoying Ensign Kim as well

Yolei: Can't you kill them on Earth?

Me: More deadily things on Voyager, see!

INS: 2. Ok got your crossover, then begin! Remember Character In Character! Good Luck!

Me: WHAT!?! THATS IT!!!!!!! I PAID £19.99 FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yolei: (nervously) Calm down umm....

Me: I give them American Psycho.......... More like British Psycho!

Rest: -_-

Me: I gonna rip Neelix in two!

Ken: You or Patrick Bateman?

Me: Both of us!

Ken: Nevermind....... What's this?

(piece of paper says PTO)

Ken: Please turn over?

(turns over paper, Its says 'GOT YOU HAHAHAHAH IZZY!')

Ken: Izzy, thats........ Sad

Izzy: ^_^

Yolei: What's with that cheesy grin anyway?

Izzy: ^_^

Yolei: That's it! (punches Izzy in the face)

Izzy: Ouch.... -_^

Me: Is that when you have one eye closed due to being smacked in the face?

Izzy: (holding eye) Yep!

Me: Lets begin our crossover

Story: Ensign Patrick Bateman, Stardate 123456. I have had enough of this shitty ship. It's shit. I can't take it anymore. Of course to the captain, I'm a well-mannered, promotion-seeking ensign. I feel like walking into the mess-hall and shoving a phaser-rifle up Neelix's....

Yolei: DON'T GO THERE!

Me: Why? We want Neelix to die, correct?

Yolei: Oh yes of course (slaps forehead)

Story: Nose

Me: See, no need to worry

Story: Jefferies Tube 134, Deck 9. I'm fixing a broken plasma coupling.

Me: Sounds cool doesn't it?

Izzy: It would be better if it was.

Ken: ****cough*****TREKKIE****cough****

Yolei: (giggles)

Izzy: I AM NOT A TREKKIE!

Me: Fooled me

Story: I was doing good until that useless prick, ensign Kim appeared.

Izzy: (Kim) I got him captain, sorry I've just lost him again

Yolei: (Janeway) Harry, goto the holodeck and kill yourself!

Izzy: (Kim) Yes, Sir..

Ken: Wait a sec, didn't you say you were gonna cross Digimon and something?

Me: Yeah, but it's easier to take the piss out of Voyager, besides I have an evil crossover with digimon planned!

Rest: (sweatdrop)

Story: "Hey Patrick, did any help?" The smart ass asked, the last time mind you "Sure Harry, can you reach in and modify the plasma cooling outlet"

Ken: (sarcastically) Oh no what's he gonna do?

Izzy: Umm. Kill him?

Me: Izzy, ever heard of sarcasm?

Ken: I'm.. hurt

Yolei: (eagerly) I'm here Ken-chan!

Izzy: Grrr

Story: As he put his head into the vent, I deactivated the safety system, releasing highly caustic plasma vapour into the vent. Kim's head began to vapourise leaving a decapitated body in the tube. Blood began squirting all over the tube.

Ken: Great, that'll be a pain in the arse to clean

Story: I couldn't leave the body in the tube so it when to the vapour as well, then I sealed the leak and placed a force field around it. Everyone was better of with it.

Yolei: Hooray!

Story: I've had it with this ship or shit though. I'm gonna kill everyone!

Ken: With my "SELF INSERTION SUPERWEAPON!"

Me: In this case a "DEATH CANNON!"

Story: I went to cargo bay 4, Weapons storage.

Izzy: That's actually on deck

Me: I don't care where it is!

Ken: Like I said earlier ***cough*** TREKKIE***cough***

Story: Then I stole the new prototype weapon, the plasma rifle. "Maximum carnage, low weight" I walked around killing little arseholes until I reached the turbolift. "Ten forward"

Yolei: Here we go! The death of Neelix!

Rest: (cheers)

Story: As I walked into ten forward, I opened fire on any crew in there, killing them. One blast hit that stupid Kling-on bitch, ripping her in half.

Izzy: I'm sure that the Federation would never build such a weapon.

Me: Well I ain't the Federation, boy.

Story: After I killed the rest, I found that bumbling fool, Neelix.

Me: Let the good times roll!

Story: "Well, well Neelix what poison are you cooking now?" Silence "Well? Why don't you taste it?" I picked him up and put his head into the boiling hot pot. After I lifted it, his face was scarred. I picked up a sharp butchers knife and stick it into his forehead. Blood sprayed everywhere. The most annoying bastard ever, was dead. I fired the plasma rifle at him just to make sure. His brain hit the ceiling while the rest of him just blew up all over the room.

Ken: My god

Yolei: Bit graphic isn't it?

Me: I'm bloodthirsty, what can you say?

Izzy: (dribbling) MORE DEATH!

Yolei: izzy? (silence)

Yolei: Izzy?! (more silence)

Yolei: KOUSHIRO!

Izzy: Sorry, my bad

Yolei: (folds arms) Hmph!

Story: I found another turbolift and took it to the bridge. I was gonna show the captain who was boss.

Ken: More deaths coming up Izzy!

Story: "Patrick what are you doing?!" The next ten minutes was a bloodbath as a tore through body after body, exploding them into pieces. The bridge was no longer a dull grey but a brilliant blood red with pieces of skull and brain scattered across it. I decided to purify the ship of evil.

Izzy: (psychotic) MORE DEATH!

Story: After hunting down everyone on the ship, I returned to the bridge. "Computer, state current command" "Captain Patrick Bateman, Number of crew: One" This made him happy, now to destroy the last thing left, the ship.

Ken: Awww how sad

Story: "Computer, deactivate the safety measures on the warp core" "Warning, this is not recommended" "Do it!" The ship then exploded, killing Patrick as well. THE END

Yolei: Oh my god, That was.

Izzy: Shit?

Yolei: Yep..

Me: No fair! It's not my fault!

Voice: OH YES IT IS!

Me: Ffffffflamedramon! RUN!

Flamedramon: COME BACK HERE!

Davis: Where did that asshole go?!

Rest: (point in opposite direction)

Davis: Thanks guys! LETS GO FLAMEDRAMON!

~Well whatcha think? If it's bad, then say so with a reason please. No flames as they are just childish and pointless. I don't learn nout from them. Sorry to all Neelix, Kim and Torres fans, but I think they are just the weakest characters in Voyager. Also thanks again to Hikari T. for the idea of the Digimon Announcer!~

Digimon Announcer: Will Flamedramon catch Black Metalgarurumon? Will Black Metalgarurumon ever write anything decent? Find out next time on Digimon, Digital Monsters!

Me: WAIT A MINUTE!

Flamedramon: What?

Me: 1. I'm the author!

Flamedramon: Oh shit.

Me: 2. I'm a Metalgarurumon and that means I'm a MEGA!

Flamedramon: (runs)

Me: COME BACK HERE!