When you
Title: Unreality
Series/Sequel: sequel to Blood Roses
Author: Lore
Email Address:
liliaeth@hotmail.com
Pairings: not an issue
Rating: PG13 for swearing and violence
Archive: sure, no prob
Warnings: Character death
Summary: As a vampire Xander has to learn to live again.
When you're human it's hard not to know when
your body is aching. You can feel it tingle all over. Not just now, or an hour
from now, you just feel it and you know …
You go into the sun and you wince at its burn, as it deepens into your skin. And
you stare up, damning it, never aware of how glorious it is. That touch of
sunlight, those sweet little touches of … sense.
I don't know why I'm saying this. Maybe it's cause I'm alone at night and I
don't seem to be so patient now. I don't want to wait for my life to fall back
in line. I don't want to know that things will get better again. And I
definitely don't want to listen to the beat of that girls heart as it drums
inside my ears.
You know, that kid that's moving through the alley beneath me. There on the
street corner, the one who's silently screaming for someone to just take her out
of this life, calling out to all comers in her worn out loafers and a skirt
that's so short she's barely covered.
I can see the lines around her eyes, hiding beneath the layers of make up. Oh so
desperately clinging to a youth she wastes with every step of her seven inch
heels. I don't want to listen, but yet, here I'm sitting on the wall, staring
down, wondering if she'd know I was here watching her and if she'd even give a
damn, even if she knew.
There's a game playing here, between her and me. But I don't know the rules to
win. Not without letting him swallow that last bit of me, that's still me. That
last bit of the white knight still skulking around in that head of mine. I
refuse to let him get that victory. Him, it, my demon, or beast as Nick calls
it.
He looks up at her and doesn't even see how her eyes are reddened and filled
with tears. The beast just leans over the edge, riveted by the rhythmic drum of
her heart. How it rises and falls, exhausted beyond belief. The beast can smell
her fear, that tantalizing scent of panic as she stares into the darkness and
finds it staring back.
"Take her." The beast tells me. "It's not like anyone will find
out. No one will ever know you gave in to me. Take her, she won't even be
missed." And I look down at the ragged coat that barely covers her back. I
can see the haphazard stitches that keep small rags into it. A last ditch effort
to keep the cold out.
Where will she sleep, this child of the streets, that no one seems to care
for? I have no idea.
And I look up at the stars in the sky, wondering what they'd think of me if I
just did it. I don't want to return to those old eyes, begging for the end. But
no matter what, I can't stop from hearing it.
Drum drum. Beat by beat, faster ever faster.
I turn back and look, shivering in tremors of lust, my eyes golden in hunger.
And there she is, forced up against the wall.
One of my own kind is holding her up, his hand gripped around her throat,
slowly choking her as he moves in for the kill. I shouldn't be surprised, her
sort is easy prey. Worn out, too tired to care. And I can smell it as the ozone
in her blood hits the air. Its sweet aroma free to roam the air once more.
Small cracks appear in the stones under my fingers as I hold on, fighting myself
not to get involved. I'm not even sure who it is I'm fighting. The beast that
longs to kill, or the white knight who wants to ride out in shining armor and
head out to save the damsel in distress.
Both I reckon.
Then I watch in shock as his ashes fall down in the mud. I can't move, just
stare down at the stake she's holding in her hand.
"Ready to join your buddy here?"
I'm almost shocked as she turns into a fighting stance, so ready to fight. It's
her eyes that shock me the most though, still tired, worn out.
I shake no and stay up at my vantage point. She's seeing me now, but doesn't
seem to care one way or another.
And I just watch as she walks.
